Bruce Campbell Quotes in My Name Is Bruce (2007)


Bruce Campbell Quotes:

  • Bruce Campbell: Jeff, I just have one request.

    Jeff: Anything Bruce.

    Bruce Campbell: Next time you unleash an ancient demon, call that Buffy chick.

  • Bruce Campbell: Dig up a bar of soap and a bottle of Jack. And not in that order.

  • Bruce Campbell: I'm not one of those shallow, sex machines like all those other Hollywood types.

    Kasey: [behind him] Hey mister, you still owe me 100 bucks! And we still have to have sex!

  • Bruce Campbell: Try not to blow anybody until I get back.

  • Bruce Campbell: Consider yourself officially exempt from my wrath sweetcakes, and if you're lucky a little later I'll let you play with my boomstick.

  • Bruce Campbell: You know Jeff, I've gotten a lot of use out of chainsaws over the years. Killed a lot a zombies, saved a lot of lives, but at the end of the day when push comes to shove... they're just too damn heavy.

  • Bruce Campbell: For the love of God I can smell her Chapstick!

  • Bruce Campbell: Sleep with the scorpions, bitch!

  • Bruce Campbell: Well, it's good to know that tofu really is good for your health.

  • Bruce Campbell: I'll take a slow screw against the wall, and make it a double.

  • Bruce Campbell: Come on! Hooch! Hooch for the pooch!

  • Bruce Campbell: I gotta make a phone call. I'll be right back, don't do anything quaint until I return.

  • Bruce Campbell: You don't know fear, kid. You've never worked with Sam Raimi.

  • Bruce Campbell: [to his dog] You son of a bitch!

  • Bruce Campbell: Hey, light me, don't fight me.

    Cinematographer: Hey, bite me.

  • Bruce Campbell: Hey lady, ten cents a ride. No exceptions.

  • Bruce Campbell: God, I miss you and the kids.

    Cheryl: What kids?

    Bruce Campbell: The ones we would have had, if you'd have just hung on!

  • Cheryl: You wanna know the truth about us, Bruce? It wasn't the cheating, or the boozing, or even the endless whining that killed our marriage. You just couldn't commit. To your career, to our relationship, or really to much of anything.

    Bruce Campbell: [pause] So, the cheating, boozing and endless whining were ok? Ahahahahaha-AH!

    [falls off his chair]

  • Bruce Campbell: You want a disaster? Anyone here seen Assault on Dome 4?

    Jeff: That's probably my favorite movie of...

    Bruce Campbell: Don't answer that.

  • Bruce Campbell: Where in the heck did you find this Evil Dead shampoo?

    Jeff: Bruce, that's drain cleaner.

    Bruce Campbell: Well, I guess that would explain the burning sensation.

  • Wing: [rough asian accent] Guan Di has been unleashed from his grave.

    Bruce Campbell: Wait, did you say 'unreashed'?

    Wing: Unleashed! Unleashed! What's matter, don't you speak Engrish?

  • Bruce Campbell: [Hearing, that Jeff is Kelly's son] Uuuuhhh, young mother.


    Kelly Graham: It's a country thing.

    Bruce Campbell: Hey, a MILF is a MILF.

  • Bruce Campbell: Ok, here's the deal. I'm gonna stall the wonton one-ton which should give you... Oh I don't know, maybe thirty seconds to find a way to stop him before he rips my head off and shoves it in my face

  • Bruce Campbell: Have you seen Rawhide?

    Wheelchair Fan: Yeah.

    Bruce Campbell: You like it?

    Wheelchair Fan: Yeah.

    Bruce Campbell: Well, then you gotta keep those doggies rollin'!

    [Pushes Wheelchair Fan]

  • Bruce Campbell: [When Wing arrives] Well, hello Mr. Plot Point!

  • Jeff: Sure you're ready for this, Bruce?

    Bruce Campbell: Kid, I made a movie in Bulgaria. I'm ready for anything.

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