Bridget von Hammersmark Quotes in Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Major Dieter Hellstrom: [in German] I must say, I grow weary of these monkeyshines.

[Maj. Hellstrom cocks his Walther pistol and aims it at Lt. Hicox under the table]

Major Dieter Hellstrom: Did you hear that? That was the sound of my Walther. Pointed right at your testicles.

Lt. Archie Hicox: Why do you have your Walther pointed at my testicles?

Major Dieter Hellstrom: Because you've just given yourself away, Captain. You're no more German than that scotch.

Lt. Archie Hicox: Well, Major...

Bridget von Hammersmark: Major...

Major Dieter Hellstrom: Shut up, slut! You were saying?

Lt. Archie Hicox: I was saying that that makes two of us. I've had a gun pointed at your balls since you sat down.

[Stiglitz takes Hellstrom by the shoulder and aggressively forces a gun against his crotch]

Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz: That makes three of us. And at this range, I'm a real Frederick Zoller.

Major Dieter Hellstrom: Looks like we have a bit of a sticky situation here.

Lt. Archie Hicox: What's going to happen, Major... you're going to stand up and walk out that door with us.

Major Dieter Hellstrom: No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't think so. I'm afraid you and I... we both know, Captain... no matter what happens to anybody else in this room... the two of us aren't going anywhere. Too bad about Sergeant Wilhelm and his famous friends. If any of you expect to live, you'll have to shoot them too. Looks like little Max will grow up an orphan. How sad.

Lt. Archie Hicox: [In English] Well, if this is it, old boy, I hope you don't mind if I go out speaking the King's.

Major Dieter Hellstrom: [In English] By all means, Captain.

Lt. Archie Hicox: [picks up his glass of scotch] There's a special rung in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch. Seeing as how I may be rapping on the door momentarily...

[drinks his scotch]

Lt. Archie Hicox: I must say, damn good stuff, Sir.

[sets his glass down and smokes his cigarette]

Lt. Archie Hicox: Now, about this pickle... we find ourselves in. It would appear there's only one thing left for you to do.

Major Dieter Hellstrom: And what would that be?

Lt. Archie Hicox: Stiglitz...

Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz: Say "Auf Wiedersehen" to your Nazi balls!

[Stiglitz fires his gun into Hellstrom's crotch]

Bridget von Hammersmark: I know this is a silly question before I ask it, but can you Americans speak any other language besides English?

Bridget von Hammersmark: There have been two recent developments regarding Operation Kino. One, the venue has been changed from the Ritz to a much smaller venue.

Lt. Aldo Raine: Enormous changes at the last minute? That's not very Germatic. Why the hell is Goebbels doin' stuff so damn peculiar?

Bridget von Hammersmark: It probably has something to do with the second development.

Lt. Aldo Raine: Which is?

Bridget von Hammersmark: [sits up] The Führer is attending the premiere.

Adolf Hitler: [cut to Hitler] I've been rethinking my position in regards to your Paris premiere of "Nation's Pride". As the weeks have gone on and the Americans are on the beach, I do find myself thinking more and more about this Private Zoller. This boy has done something tremendous for us. And I'm beginning to think my participation in this event could be meaningful.

Sgt. Donny Donowitz: [cut back to the Basterds] Fuck a duck!

Col. Hans Landa: [in German] So who are your three handsome escorts?

Bridget von Hammersmark: [in German] I'm afraid neither three speak a word of German. They're friends of mine from Italy. This is the wonderful Italian stuntman, Enzo Gorlomi; a very talented cameraman, Antonio Margheriti; and Antonio's camera assistant, Dominick Decocco.

Bridget von Hammersmark: [in Italian] Gentlemen, this is an old friend, Colonel Hans Landa of the SS.

Lt. Aldo Raine: [in Italian with obvious southern accent] Buongiorno.

Col. Hans Landa: [in flawless Italian] Gentlemen, it's a pleasure; the friends of our cherished star, admired by all of us, this outright jewel of our culture, are naturally going to be under my personal protection for the duration of their stay.

Lt. Aldo Raine: [after a pause] Grazie.

Col. Hans Landa: [in Italian] Gorlomi? Am I pronouncing it correctly?

Lt. Aldo Raine: [in a very bad accent] Sì... er, corretto.

Col. Hans Landa: [in Italian] Gorla... lomi? Say it for me once please?

Lt. Aldo Raine: [mispronouncing the name] Gorlami.

Col. Hans Landa: [in Italian, faking confusion] I'm sorry, again?

Lt. Aldo Raine: [slightly annoyed] Gorlami.

Col. Hans Landa: [in Italian] Once more?

Lt. Aldo Raine: [obviously annoyed, leans forward and whispers] Gorlami.

Major Dieter Hellstrom: [Hellstrom is trying to guess the famous person on his forehead, which is King Kong]

Major Dieter Hellstrom: [in German; subtitled] I'll start, give you the idea. Am I German?

Bridget von Hammersmark, Lt. Archie Hicox: [in German] No.

Bridget von Hammersmark: Am I American?

Major Dieter Hellstrom, Lt. Archie Hicox: No.

Cpl. Wilhelm Wicki: Wait a minute, he goes to...

Bridget von Hammersmark: Obviously, he wasn't born in America.

Major Dieter Hellstrom: So, I visited America, aye?

Bridget von Hammersmark, Lt. Archie Hicox: Yes.

Major Dieter Hellstrom: Was this visit fortuitous?

Cpl. Wilhelm Wicki: Not for you.

Bridget von Hammersmark: I can see since you didn't see what happened inside, the Nazis being there must look odd.

Lt. Aldo Raine: Yeah, we got a word for that kinda odd in English. It's called suspicious.

Col. Hans Landa: [Landa and Bridget sit alone in Shosanna's office; in German] Let me see your foot.

Bridget von Hammersmark: [in German] I beg your pardon?

Col. Hans Landa: [he pats his lap] Put your foot in my lap.

Bridget von Hammersmark: Hans, you embarrass me.

[Landa intolerantly points at his lap. Bridget gives in and places her foot in Landa's lap. Landa gently removes her shoe]

Col. Hans Landa: Could you please reach into the right pocket of my coat and give me what you find in there?

[Bridget slowly reaches into Landa's pocket. Her hand closes around what's inside and she glances at Landa with a look of sudden terror]

Col. Hans Landa: [he simply smiles at Bridget and nods]

[Bridget slowly pulls out the shoe she lost in the tavern firefight from Landa's coat pocket]

Col. Hans Landa: May I?

[Bridget hands over the shoe, and Landa slips it neatly onto her foot, showing it fits perfectly]

Col. Hans Landa: Voila.

Col. Hans Landa: [In English] What's that American expression? "If the shoe fits, you must wear it."

Bridget von Hammersmark: [chuckles lightly and nervously] What now, Colonel?

[Landa aggressively grabs Bridget by the throat, throws her off the chair and violently strangles her to death]

Lt. Aldo Raine: Before we yank that slug out you, you need to answer a few questions.

Bridget von Hammersmark: Few questions about what?

Lt. Aldo Raine: About I got three men dead back there. Why don't you try telling us what the fuck happened?

Bridget von Hammersmark: The British officer blew his German act and the Gestapo major saw it.

Lt. Aldo Raine: Before we get into who shot John, why'd you invite my men to a rendezvous in a basement with a bunch of Nazis?

Bridget von Hammersmark: I can vouch for everything the young captain has just said. He *does* hail from the bottom of Piz Palu. He *was* in the film, and his brother *is* far more handsome than he.