Brewster Quotes in Fired Up! (2009)

Brewster: [after Rick is punched by Downey] That was for the Crocs. You're not an old lady gardening or a baby on the beach. OK? Now put on some shoes, you're embarrassing yourself.

Nick Brady: [to guy in Eagle mascot costume] 'Sup Eagle?

Brewster: Oh, mascots don't talk. They just gesture.

Nick Brady: Even... in their bunks?

Brewster: The whole time, babygirl... It's total immersion!

Brewster: I'm Brewster.

[whispers]

Brewster: Not my real name. My parents named me Jack. "Jack" - so strong, so masculine. We get it! You wanted a boy!

[throws up fists]

Brewster: Ma name's Jack! I punch bad guys and I kiss girls.

[reverts back to normal tone]

Brewster: Save it.

Shawn Colfax: OK.

Brewster: I tell ya what. Your jobs aren't just going over there, sailor. Some of us are coming over here. The world is flat like a son of a bitch.

Shawn Colfax: You're giving us a lot to process here.

Brewster: I have not been skinny dipping since Indian scouts!

[takes his underwear off and starts swinging his hips around]

Brewster: Nobody look! Windmill!

Nick Brady: We're leaving our underwear on bro! We talked about this, remember?

Brewster: You talked. I listened.

[swinging his hips in different ways while the rest of the group looks away]

Brewster: Paint the fence. Cutting the cake. Hangman's noose. Hangman's noose!

Cary: Where are the seat belts?

Brewster: Seat belts are for pussies!

Brewster: I'm gonna call a mechanic. I'll be right back. Don't jizz on anythin'.

Brewster: Grab your wieners and pray for rain.

Brewster: This wouldn't be a funeral home, would it?

McDougall: No, we do Brazilian waxes.

McDougall: What's the matter, son, you piss yourself?

Brewster: Nah. Like if I were an avocado at a mosquito convention pissin' on a firecracker, how 'bout that?

Brewster: Crow in a blender!

Brewster: Don't move! If you run, I'll find you and when I do, I'll make it hurt!

Vogel: So what, you're evil now? I mean, you were a jerk before, but you weren't acting like some b-movie bad guy. Is that what dying does to you? Turn you into a twat?

Brewster: I'm gonna fuck you, then I'm gonna drain your blood, then I'm gonna fuck ya again!

Waitress: Coffins? A coffin? Are you nuts? What would I do with a coffin?

Brewster: Hey, we all need one eventually, darlin'.

Waitress: Not me. I'm gonna be cremated and have my ashes mailed to Val Kilmer.

McDougall: You want some coffee?

Brewster: Yeah... and a bathroom. I've had to pee since dinner.

McDougall: Well, you're in luck. Best thing about being a man is, whole world's your toilet. Why, out there, there're a hundred places you can drain the tank and look at metal twisted into shapes you never dreamed of. It's like... it's like pissin' in an art museum.

[Brewster picks up his phone off the floor]

Brewster: Bitch! You drop these once, they're only good for butt-plugs!

Brewster: Cary? Isn't that a girl's name?

Cary: Different spelling.

Brewster: Right! How often do you have to spell it?

Cary: There are lots of guys named Cary.

Brewster: Name one.

Vogel: Cary Grant

Brewster: Name another.

Cary: Cary Elwes.

Brewster: Who the fuck is Cary Elwes?

Cary: Hello? Princess Bride!

Brewster: Seriously though, Cary? Total girl's name!

Waitress: Last time I saw you, I was still a virgin.

Brewster: Last time I saw you was the last time you were!

Waitress: What you carrying today, Brewster? Anything that nobody'd notice if one went missing?

Brewster: Sure, darlin'. I'm sure there's one in the back that would fit you just fine.

Waitress: Really? Would I get a lot of use from it?

Brewster: Oh, yeah. You'd use it a long time.

Waitress: Nice. What is it?

Brewster: Coffins.

Brewster: Hey! Cram it with walnuts, Cary!

[Brewster looks under the truck]

Cary: What's the matter?

Brewster: Hell if I know, Cary.

Cary: Didn't your G.E.D. exam have a section on trucks?

Brewster: What's happening?

Vogel: Oh, not much. We're just trapped inside your truck with monster central outside. How are things with you, Mr. Seizure?

[there are vampires outside the truck]

Cary: They might not be able to get in anyway, without being invited.

Vogel: That didn't work in The Return of Count Yorga.

Cary: Of course not, that was American International.

Vogel: So?

Cary: So each movie makes its own rules. None of it is grounded in reality.

Vogel: I saw one get killed by a bolt of lightning in Scars of Dracula.

Cary: Now, that is just stupid.

Brewster: If either of you mentions Twilight, I'll throw ya out the cab!

[Brewster talks into the C.B. microphone]

Brewster: Breaker, breaker, this is... This is red rocket. Anybody copy?

Vogel: Red rocket?

Brewster: Shut up.

Brewster: I get it! This thing's been diddlin' with our mind-knobs!

Brewster: Hey! Are you tryin' to bite my ass?

Brewster: You're a very bad man, Walker, a very destructive man! Why do you run around doing things like this?

Walker: I want my money. I want my $93,000.

Brewster: $93,000? You threaten a financial structure like this for $93,000? No, Walker, I don't believe you. What do you really want?

Walker: I - I really want my money.

Brewster: Well, I'm not going to give you any money and nobody else is. Don't you understand that?

Walker: Who runs things?

Brewster: Carter and I run things. I run things.

Walker: What about Fairfax? Will he pay me?

Brewster: Fairfax is a man who signs checks.

Walker: No, cash.

Brewster: Fairfax isn't going to give you anything. He's finished. Fairfax is dead. He just doesn't know it yet.

Walker: Somebody's got to pay.

Brewster: Let me tell you something about corporations, Walker. This is a corporation. I'm an officer in a corporation. We deal in millions. We never see cash! I got about eleven dollars in my pocket.

Brewster: [Pete Brewster, Lucky Luciano and Luciano's henchman have driven Welles out to a deserted stretch of dirt road and forced him out of the car] You call yourself an American?

'Lucky' Luciano: Listen - he's just another name on that list. I say we waste him. Let the Reds take the rap.

'Lucky' Luciano: [Luciano's henchman punches and beats Welles, who falls to the ground. Henchman then approaches Welles and points a pistol to his head] You got somethin' to say about that, Mr. Welles? Somethin' smart?

Orson Welles: [Thug, with gun to Welles' head, racks the slide on his pistol] Christ, Pete, stop him! You gotta' stop him!

Brewster: [Coldly indifferent] I don't have to stop him. You heard what he said: you're just a name on a list.

Orson Welles: [Welles, in pain, grunts and groans on the ground]

Brewster: How can we possibly shoot you, when you played such a sterling part for Uncle Sam? You know that "list"... when we first planted it and you made such a big splash with it in the Press - well, it was more than I could have hoped. You know the best part? Originally, you weren't even on the list. You know why?... You're not that important. You were kind of an afterthought.

'Lucky' Luciano: You're not worth the bullet, Mr. Welles.

Brewster: [Welles, still on the ground, glares up at him] Don't judge me! The war never stopped. It just went underground. We simply have to win. Now, it's all about sacrifices, and whether you're tough enough to make them.

Orson Welles: Maybe you made too many, Pete. I remember when you had a soul, not just a job.

Brewster: You're entitled to your opinion.

Orson Welles: It's a free country.

Brewster: [Walking back to the car, leaving Welles lying in the road] Fuck you, Orson.

Orson Welles: Fuck you, Pete.

[Brewster and the others drive off, leaving Welles deserted in the road]

Brewster: I don't care who does what to whom in this country, but you're an American citizen, that makes you my responsibility. You're so lucky not to be floating face down in the Tiber right now. So please, finish your lousy movie and try to stay out of trouble for five minutes.

Orson Welles: Maybe you're right.

Brewster: I know I'm right.

Orson Welles: It is a lousy movie.