Brandon Walsh Quotes in The Goonies (1985)

Brandon Walsh: [Rosalita screaming in spanish] What's she saying Mouth? Translate.

Mouth: No pen. No write. No sign!

Mikey: No dad don't sign it!

[Rosalita runs over to Mrs Walsh and pulls out her hand and empties Mikey's marble bag]

Mikey: Dad! Dad! It's my marble bag. The Fratelis forgot to check it. I emptied out all of my marbles and put the jewels in. We don't have to leave the boon docks!

Irving Walsh: [ripping up the foreclosure document] They'll be no more signing today or ever again.

[cheering]

Chunk: [Data comes flying into the house knocking over everyone and Chunk grabs the statue of Michaelangelo's David] Hey! I bet you guys think I was going to drop it huh? I know you would think that from good ol Chunk

[Places the statue on the table and it falls off]

Brandon Walsh: You Idiot!

Mikey: Oh my god!

[runs over and picks up the statue]

Chunk: Look look! It's not broken. It's perfect! Ha ha!

Mikey: [sees that the statue's penis has broken off] Oh my GOD! That's my mom's most favorite piece!

[tries to put it back on]

Chunk: Oh my god.

Mouth: You wouldn't be here if it wasn't.

Mikey: Shut up Mouth!

Brandon Walsh: Shut up Mouth.

Mikey: [to One-Eyed Willie] Hi Willie. Oh, I'm Mike Walsh. You've been expecting me, haven't you? Well I made it. I beat you. I got here in one piece... so far.

[lifts up Willie's patch]

Mikey: So... that's why they call you One-Eyed Willie... One-Eyed Willie.

[takes a breath from his breathalizer]

Mikey: We had a long comment, huh, Willie? You know something, Willie? You're the first Goonie.

[the rest of the Goonies show up]

Mikey: Yo. Hi guys. How's it going? This is Willie... One-Eyed Willie. Say hi, Willie. Those are my friends... the Goonies.

[pauses]

Mikey: How long have you guys been standing there?

Brandon Walsh: Long enough, Mikey. Long enough.

Andy: Brand... What happened to your braces?

Brandon Walsh: Braces? I don't wear braces, Mikey wears bra... Mikey! That little...

Andy: Shhh!

[kisses him again]

Chunk: Look, how's that? How's that?

Mikey: Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside down!

Brandon Walsh: You dork! If God made it like that, you'd all be pissing in your faces!

Chunk: Looks fine to me.

[Mikey calls for a bathroom break]

Mikey: Okay, this is the little boys' room, and that cave over there is the little girls' room.

[Brandon heads to a different cave]

Mikey: Brand, where're you going?

Brandon Walsh: This is the *men's* room.

Andy: [whispers softly] Let's go this way.

Brandon Walsh: What are you? Crazy? They're here.

Andy: [hysterically] They're here, they're here, they're here, they're here.

[Brand covers Andy's mouth]

Jake Fratelli: [whispering] There they are. Right there.

Brandon Walsh: [shouting to the others] It's the Fratellies. This way. Come on we've got to move! Let's go you guys. Don't fall behind. Let's move.

Data: Hey any of you guys ever hear of Detroit?

Mikey: No.

Mouth: Sointenly! Where Motown started. It's also got the highest murder rate in the country.

Data: Well, let me tell you what. That's where we're going when we lose the house tomorrow.

Mikey: You shut up about that stuff, it'll never happen. My dad will fix it.

Brandon Walsh: Yeah sure he will. If he gets his next 400 paychecks by tommorrow afternoon.

Mikey: That's wrong Brand! It won't happen.

Chunk: Listen, okay? You guys'll never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!

Mikey: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom.

Brandon Walsh: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?

Mouth: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza, right?

Chunk: Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did.

Irene Walsh: Brandon Walsh! If you don't bring those kids back I'm going to commit Harri Krishna!

Brandon Walsh: That's Hari Kari, Ma!

Brandon Walsh: I'm gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your clothes will be out of style!

Chunk: whats all the stuff in the attic?

Mikey: It has something to do with my dad being the assistant curly, curny.

Brandon Walsh: [smacking Mikey on the back of the head] Curator.

Mikey: That's what I said.

Brandon Walsh: My new tires! They popped my new tires those son of a... I'm going to kill...

[Brandon takes a little girl's bike]

Brandon Walsh: Thanks I owe you one.

Girl: My bike! I want my bike, I want my bike, I want my bike.

[while trying to escape the crumbling cave]

Mikey: What about the loot?

Brandon Walsh: What about our lives?

Richard 'Data' Wang: [Falls through to ship's hold; group of Goonies ask if he's okay] Data's okay! Data's quite tired of falling and Data's tired of skeletons!

Brandon Walsh: Why didn't you use the stairs?

Richard 'Data' Wang: Use the stairs! Stairs! The stupid guys tell me to use the stairs when Data's falling. If Data's hurt, nobody cares anymore...

Mikey: [walks down the stairs] Data's okay...

Richard 'Data' Wang: Then some guy tells me I have stupid inventions. I've been spending months and months studying on them and inventing them. God!

Andy: [hysterically] I should've let him look at my body! Don't I have a beautiful body? Don't I have a beautiful body?

Brandon Walsh: You've got a great body.

Andy: How many more years do I have before I get all fat? Before my hair falls out? Before I look like him?

[the Goonies stumble upon Chester Copperpot's skeleton]

Elgin Perkins: Hello guys. I'm Mr Perkins, Troy's father.

Richard 'Data' Wang: We know who Troy is. He's that cheap guy.

Brandon Walsh: My dad's not home, Mr. Perkins.

Elgin Perkins: Is your mommy here?

Brandon Walsh: [scarcastically] No, actually she's out at the market buying Pampers for all us kids.

Elgin Perkins: [feigning laughing] Papers, Bill. You can give these to your father to read through and sign. I'll be by to pick them up in the morning.

Brandon Walsh: Thank you.

Elgin Perkins: Thank *you*.

Mikey: It was a retropactum!

Brandon Walsh: Retrospective!

Mikey: See! That's what I said! You always contradict me... I know what I was saying. It was on the history of Astoria and these are the rejects!

Chunk: Kinda like us... Mikey. The Goonies.

Mouth: I'm not a reject!

Mikey: Take that stuff off, you'll get me in trouble

Mikey: [the kids are arguing] Stop! We've got to get to the lowest point of the floor.

Brandon Walsh: Lowest point nothing, Mikey. Now let's go!

Mikey: I swear on my life! They've got an... an 'IT!' A giant 'IT!' When it came into the light it was all gross and distorted, and, and...

Brandon Walsh: Yeah, kinda like your brain, right lame-o? Say goodbye to your little pals.

Irene Walsh: Brandon I want you to keep your brother inside I don't want him to catch a cold.

Brandon Walsh: He should be put in a plastic bubble.

Irene Walsh: I'm serious Brandon! That's not funny. If he takes one step outside and you'll be in the deepest, absolutely the deepest, shi, shi, shi...

Brandon Walsh: Shit ma!

Irene Walsh: I don't like that language but that's exactly what you're going to be in, and you Data.

Data: Data

Irene Walsh: Data use the front door from now on okay? What is that?

[Brandon runs out of the house, gets to his bike]

Irene Walsh: Brandon, don't you come home without your brother, or I'll commit Hare Krishna!

Brandon Walsh: That's "Harry Carry", ma.

Irene Walsh: That is exactly what I said!