Brad Whitaker Quotes in The Living Daylights (1987)

James Bond: I've come for Koskov.

Brad Whitaker: Hell, you can *have* him. As soon as I get my opium. Now where is it?

James Bond: Up in smoke.

Brad Whitaker: [incredulous] You burned up a half a billion bucks?

[Bond nods]

Brad Whitaker: That's too bad, Bond. You could've been a live rich man, instead of a poor dead one.

James Bond: You're *finished*, Whitaker! If the Russians don't get you, the Americans will!

Brad Whitaker: Nah. You know Meade should have taken another 35,000 casualties. Could have ended the rebellion right then and there. Hell, Grant would have done it.

[Whitaker manages to knock Bond off his feet, grab a machine gun and open fire on him]

Brad Whitaker: How do you like my personal pantheon of great commanders?

Leonid Pushkin: Butchers.

Brad Whitaker: Surgeons. They cut away society's dead flesh.

[Referring to his machine gun vs Bond's hand gun]

Brad Whitaker: You've had your eight, now I have my eighty.

[Bond finds Whitaker playing with toy soldiers]

James Bond: Pickett's charge was up Cemetary Ridge, not Little Round Top.

Brad Whitaker: I'm reenacting the battle as I would have fought it. Meade was tenacious, but he was cautious. He missed his chances to crush Lee at Gettsyburg.

Brad Whitaker: Necros can do it.

Necros: I've worked with the Russians. My appearance and methods are well known to them. It could jeopardize my comrades struggling for world revolution who depend upon me.

Brad Whitaker: My hobby. The strategy and tactics of the world's historic battles. Afghanistan. The Northwest Frontier. 1895. The initial trial of the first automatic machine gun... 303 Caliber Maxim. The King's Royal Rifles - they whacked out a vastly superior force. Kept the British in Afghanistan for another 25 years. Now, what you Russians need over there, nowadays, is the equivalent of a modern Maxim.

Dusty Mayron: So the King raised his mighty sword and rained steel down upon the Step King.

Brad Whitaker: But the Step King blocked it with his shield. And swung his cat o'nine tails into the King's smug face.

Dusty Mayron: Which the King easily brushed aside like the feather of a gull. And then the King did counter with a barrage of slashes and thrusts so fast and precise the Step King had no way to party.

Megan, Dylan: Yay!

Dusty Mayron: But he did. He did. He parried all of them. Easily. It was no big deal.

Megan, Dylan: Aww.

Brad Whitaker: Then he grabbed the King's sword right out of his hand and smashed it over his knee.

Megan, Dylan: Boo!

Dusty Mayron: That's when the King pulled out a pump-action Mossberg shotgun!

Brad Whitaker: Which is completely anachronistic. So if we're gonna be doing any time period, then the Step King just happened to be wearing Kevlar body armor.

Dusty Mayron: Concussion grenade!

Brad Whitaker: Hand grenade.

Dusty Mayron: Rocket launcher.

Brad Whitaker: Missile launcher.

Dusty Mayron: Air strike.

Brad Whitaker: Nuclear strike.

Dusty Mayron: Black hole.

Brad Whitaker: God.

Brad Whitaker: Eat my dust Dusty!

Brad Whitaker: I mean, kids at the end of the day, they know who's been around and, holy balls!

[sees dusty]

Brad Whitaker: The step-king has had enough of the king's BULLSHIT!

Megan: He said a bad word!

[first lines]

Brad Whitaker: [narrating] Here's a question for you. What do kids need more, a father or a dad? What's the difference? The way I see it, darn near anyone can be a father...

[video of copulating rhinos]

Brad Whitaker: ... but not everyone has the patience or the devotion to be a dad. As for me, I've always wanted to be a dad. Let me tell you, I love it! Yeah!

[driving]

Brad Whitaker: And I love my Ford Flex. It treats me to a smooth ride, and you know what? It didn't break the bank. Room enough for the whole family.

[making sandwiches in the kitchen]

Brad Whitaker: Yes, I love being a dad. And I love these two adorable little rays of sunshine.

[Dylan and Megan walk in]

Brad Whitaker: You built all this today? With my tools?

Dusty Mayron: Oh, no, you can't build a treehouse with a tampon, Brad.