Bozo Quotes in The Dark Knight (2008)

Gotham National Bank Manager: Think you're pretty smart, huh? The guy that hired youze, he'll just do the same to you. Oh, criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you! What do you believe in, huh? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?

[Bozo leans down and sticks a gas grenade in the manager's mouth]

Bozo: I believe whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you...

[takes off his mask, revealing the Joker]

The Joker: ...stranger.

Grumpy: That's a lot of money. If this Joker guy was so smart, he'd have had us bring a bigger car.

[promptly draws his gun and points it a Bozo]

Grumpy: I'm bettin' the Joker told you to kill me as soon as we loaded the cash.

Bozo: [looks at his watch, checking it. He sighs] No, no no no. I kill the bus driver.

Grumpy: [as Bozo moves a few paces to one side] Bus driver? What bus driver?

[a yellow school bus reverses through the bank's doors and knocks Grumpy down. The driver jumps out]

Bus Driver: School's out! Time to go!

[laughs]

Bus Driver: Cat's not gettin' up, is he?

[loading duffels]

Bus Driver: That's a lot of money. What happened to the rest of the guys?

[Bozo casually shoots the bus driver dead, then picks up the last duffel and throws it into the bus. Bozo prepares to climb in]

Gotham National Bank Manager: Think you're smart, huh? The guy that hired youze, he'll just do the same to you. Oh, criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you! What do you believe in, huh? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?

Bozo: [putting a gas grenade in the banker's mouth] I believe, whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you...

[takes off his mask revealing the face of the Joker]

The Joker: ...stranger.

[During a bank heist, the Joker has tricked all his men into killing each other, one after the other. One of the last ones, getting wise, points his gun at another thug, who still has his mask on]

Grumpy: I'm betting The Joker told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash.

Bozo: No. No, no, no. I kill the bus driver.

Grumpy: [confused] Bus driver? What bus dri-?

[a school bus drives through the wall and kills Grumpy]

[after trapping one of the creatures]

Bozo: We're okay.

[hears another creature growling]

Bozo: Scratch that.

Honey Pie: [Notices Bozo and Hot Wheels have been watching her undress, wash blood off] Act like you've had some.

Bozo: Oh, I've had some, baby.

Hot Wheels: [voice cracking] I haven't.

Coach: Oh dear.

Honey Pie: What? What's he doing?

Bozo: They're humping!

Beer Guy: Aw man! The monsters are doing it doggy style.

Hot Wheels: Monster sex.

Honey Pie: [Re: first monster trapped and killed] Jeez, it took all that? All those bullets?

Beer Guy: That's the LITTLE one? We can't fight these things! No way!

Heroine: We can still fight them. We just gotta be clever.

Coach: Maybe we don't have to fight them at all.

Bozo: Yeah, why don't we just call 'em names.

Bozo: [Locked in bedroom as monster is coming through window] Okay! I'm ready to come out now!

Bartender: [Bartender fumbles outside with key; it breaks in the lock] Oh.

Bozo: [Panicking, rattling doorknob] OH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OH"?

Coach: [Relatively calmly. i.e. oh, shit] Cheese and crackers.

Coach: We got your front, bro.

Bozo: It's your back, we got your back.

Bozo: Any more ideas, Animal Planet?

Coach: I-I was just being proactive!

Bartender: Hey Dipshit, I didn't see you helpin' did I...

Bozo: Oh, go douche, Grandpa!

Beer Guy: What now?

Tuffy: We're stuck in here, that's what.

Bozo: YOU!

Grandma: [Drunkenly] What?

Bozo: You know somethin'!

Grandma: Huh?

Bozo: You're old! You've seen things!

Grandma: I don't know a thing.

Bartender: Easy there...

Bozo: Back off me, whitey! I'm interrogating her.

Bozo: Old people know things, like legends and tall tales and shit.

Grandma: No... really... I don't...

Bozo: Come on! Spill it! Or I'll get rough!

Grandma: I don't know anything!

[Points to Bartender]

Grandma: Why don't you ask him? He's old!

Heroine: Relax. She doesn't know anything.

Bozo: Yeah... allegedly.

Bozo: [about Melvin] AHH! He's stressin' me, Julie, he is STRESSIN' ME!

Julie: Oh, Bozo.

Bozo: I can't take it, Julie, I cannot take it! He is screwin' up my karma! AHHHHHHHHHH! I'M STRESSED!

Bozo: [about Melvin, who is clumsily mopping] Would you take a look at that fucking guy? The mop boy. Can't even mop right!

Julie: He's SO stupid!

Slug: He's always got that shit-eatin' grin on his face. What's he so happy about?

Bozo: I HATE that mop boy.

Julie: [as Melvin approaches] I think that creep's comin' over here!

Bozo: [sniffs] Julie, you... uh, smell somethin'?

Julie: Ew! Pee-you! What's that stink?

Melvin Junko: [sniffs] G-Gee, t-that's funny, I don't smell nothin'.

Bozo: [to Melvin] Next time you fuck with me I'm gonna take this mop and shove it down your throat!