Boxer Santaros Quotes in Southland Tales (2006)

Boxer Santaros: I'm a pimp. And pimps don't commit suicide.

Boxer Santaros: My character, he realizes that the apocalyptic crime rate is because of global deceleration. The rotation of the Earth is slowing down at a rate of point zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero six miles per hour each day, disrupting the chemical equilibrium in the human brain, causing very irrational criminal behavior.

Roland Taverner: How does he stop the global deceleration?

Boxer Santaros: Oh, he can't stop it. There is no stopping wat can't be stopped. Only God can stop it.

Krysta Now: But The New York Times said: "God is dead."

Boxer Santaros: So in the end, I die in a very tragic downtown shootout while whispering my theory to Dr. Muriel Fox, the oceanography disaster specialist.

Krysta Now: Astrophysicist!

Boxer Santaros: The oceanography disaster specialist... sweetheart. My character - his name is Jericho Kane.

Boxer Santaros: Do you ever feel like there's a thousand people locked inside of you?

Roland Taverner: Sometimes.

Boxer Santaros: But it's your memory that keeps them glued together. Keeps all these people from fighting one another. Maybe in the end, that's all we have. The Memory Gospel.

Boxer Santaros: [about Officer Taverner] Is he still alive?

Serpentine: In more ways than one.

Boxer Santaros: You made sure Taverner went through the time rift with me. Then you hit the SUV self-destruct trigger, by remote, which means I didn't kill myself.

Serpentine: You're a pimp. Pimps don't commit suicide.

Boxer Santaros: Oh, you got that right. And Roland Taverner and his twin brother... they're the same person, aren't they?

Serpentine: Two identical souls walking the face of the earth, coexisting in the same dominion of chaos. What will happen if they shake hands.

Boxer Santaros: The fourth dimension will collapse upon itself. You stupid bitch.

Madeline Frost Santaros: Cock Chuggers Two: Cock Chuggin'? Who the fuck makes this shit? Huh?

Boxer Santaros: Hey, hey, she just cut her own pop album.

Senator Bobby Frost: "Teen horniness is not a crime. Keep an open heard and an open mind."

Boxer Santaros: She's developing her own reality show, clothing line, perfume, and not to mention an energy drink which I tried, and her drink tastes really, really good. Can I see the Cock Chuggers?

Boxer Santaros: Three days. Three final days. It all ends tonight.

Krysta Now: It had to be this way.

Boxer Santaros: I know.

Madeline Frost Santaros: How does it end?

Boxer Santaros: A handshake.

Baron Von Westphalen: Our mission is to destroy Capitalism, dethrone God.

Boxer Santaros: Officer Roland Taverner. That's who you want.

Boxer Santaros: The ocean is in control.

Boxer Santaros: It all hinges on a Top Secret experiment. A young couple comes home from the hospital with a newborn baby. A week goes by and the baby still hasn't produced a bowel movement.

Roland Taverner: Maybe the baby's just constipated.

Boxer Santaros: No, no, no, no. This is a *very* special baby. This baby processes energy differently.

Roland Taverner: I haven't had a bowel movement in 6 days. I haven't taken a piss, either.