Bonnie Quotes in The Hard Way (1991)

Bonnie: You look like Nick Lang

Nick Lang: Really? Do you like Nick Lang?

Bonnie: I used to when I was little. Now I like Mel Gibson.

John Moss: I love him, I love Mel Gibson!

Andy: [opens box, and takes out Jessie] This is Jessie, the roughest, toughest cowgirl in the whole west. She loves critters, but none more than her best pal, Bullseye!

[pulls out Bullseye, and makes a whinnying sound]

Andy: Yee-haw!

[holds the two toys out to Bonnie]

Andy: Here.

Bonnie: [shyly walks over and takes Jessie and Bullseye, a smile on her face]

Andy: [pulls out Rex] This is Rex! The meanest, most terrifying dinosaur who ever lived! RAWR! RAWR!

Bonnie: [recoils a little, but then giggles, and takes Rex too]

Andy: [pulls out Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head] The Potato Heads: Mr. and Mrs. You gotta keep them together because they're madly in love.

[Andy sets them down in front of Bonnie, before pulling out Slinky Dog]

Andy: Now Slinky here, is as loyal as any dog you could want.

[Andy then pulls out Hamm]

Andy: And Hamm, he'll keep your money safe, but he's also one of the most dastardly villains of all time: Evil Dr. Porkchop!

[Andy then places the two with their friends, before pulling out the three aliens]

Andy: These little dudes are from a strange alien world: Pizza Planet!

[Andy sets them down before reaching into the box again]

Andy: And this, is Buzz Lightyear, the coolest toy ever! Look! He can fly, oh, and shoot lasers!

[Andy pops open Buzz's wings, and fires his laser]

Andy: He's sworn to protect the galaxy from the Evil Emperor Zurg!

Bonnie: [Bonnie takes Buzz from Andy, and presses one of the buttons on his spacesuit]

Buzz Lightyear: To Infinity, and Beyond!

Andy: Now, you gotta promise to take good care of these guys. They, mean, alot to me.

[In Bonnie's room; she is playing with her toys and Woody]

Woody: [voice box] There's a snake in my boot!

[Bonnie pulls his string again]

Woody: I'd like to join your posse, boys, but first I'm gonna sing a little song.

Bonnie: A sheriff!

[she sets Woody down at a table surrounded by stuffed animals]

Bonnie: Move over, Mr. Pricklepants!

[she pushes him aside]

Bonnie: We have a guest!

[she hops from foot to foot]

Bonnie: You want some coffee?

[she sets out cups and pretends to pour from a pitcher]

Bonnie: It's good for you, but don't drink too much or you'll have to - Be right back!

[she runs out the door]

Woody: [Woody looks around, the other toys are still frozen] Pssst! Hey! Hello! Hi. Excuse me...

Mr. Pricklepants: Shh!

[he freezes]

Woody: Can you tell me where I am?

Mr. Pricklepants: Shhh!

[he freezes again]

Buttercup: The guy's just asking a question.

Mr. Pricklepants: Well, excuse me! I am trying to stay in character!

Buttercup: [to Woody] My name's Buttercup.

Mr. Pricklepants: [at Buttercup] Shh!

Trixie: Hello! I'm Trixie!

Mr. Pricklepants: [at Trixie] Shhh!

Trixie: [back at him] Shhh!

Woody: [waves his arms] Guys, hey! Guys, look, I don't know where I am...

Trixie: We're either in a café in Paris or a coffee shop in New Jersey. I'm pretty sure I just came back from the doctor with life-changing news.

Buttercup: We do a lot of improv here. Just stay loose, have fun - you'll be fine!

Woody: No, no no no, I...

[Bonnie flushes the toilet in the bathroom and Woody goes limp]

Commissioner Gordon: A fine job, Batman. You allayed their fears magnificently.

Batman: What else could I have done, Commissioner? If I told the truth, panic will grip the city.

Chief O'Hara: The truth. Sure, and what is the truth?

Batman: A decoy. A strange anonymous warning that Commodore Schmidlapp is in danger, to lure me into a trap.

Commissioner Gordon: A fiendish attempt on Batman's life.

Chief O'Hara: You mean, when they were luring you to a watery grave, the commodore's yacht has been hijacked in some places?

Batman: Precisely.

Commissioner Gordon: And who behind it? Not a clue.

Batman: Tell me, Commissioner: What known supercriminals are at large just now?

Commissioner Gordon: I'll check at once, Batman. Bonnie, let's have the latest status report on supercriminals still at large.

Bonnie: Yes, Commissioner.

Commissioner Gordon: Thank you, Bonnie. Coming up, Batman, on the closed-circuit TV screen. Come over here.

[the quartet move to the closed-circuit TV screen on the wall]

Closed Circuit TV Screen: Status report. Known supercriminals not currently imprisoned.

Batman: The Penguin.

Commissioner Gordon: That pompous, waddling master of foul play, maestro a million criminal umbrellas.

Robin: The Joker.

Chief O'Hara: Devilish clown prince of crime! Oh, if I only had a nickel for every time he's baffled us!

Commissioner Gordon: What, the Riddler loose too?

Batman: So it seems. Loose to plague us with his criminal conundrums.

Robin: Gosh! And the Catwoman!

Closed Circuit TV Screen: End of status report.

Bonnie: He's not afraid of losing. He's afraid of losing your love. How many ball players grow up afraid of losing their fathers' love every time they come up to the plate?

Fred: All of them!

Bonnie: He knows you disapprove of him. He knows you think he's weak. But he's not weak. He's decent. And if you or Bruce or anyone else tries to beat that out of him, I swear to God I'll take him away.

Bruce Pandolfini: His chess ideas are like pieces of his body he's reluctant to give up. For instance, he simply can't cope with being told not to bring his queen out too early in the game. Why shouldn't he? He's won many a game in Washington Square doing exactly that, why is this suddenly wrong?

Fred: Try getting him to brush his teeth sometime.

Bruce Pandolfini: What I'm trying to teach him and what he's learning there are two very different things. Park hustlers play tactics, not position. They rely on wild, unpredictable moves meant to intimidate their opponent. Great in a two-minute speed game for drug money, but it'll cost Josh dearly in real games.

Fred: Well, he's learning some new words!

Bruce Pandolfini: I was wondering if you could keep him from playing there so much.

Fred: Sure.

Bonnie: No. It'd kill him not to play in the park. He loves it.

Bruce Pandolfini: It just makes my job harder.

Bonnie: Then your job's harder.

Bruce Pandolfini: It's white's move.

Josh Waitzkin: How many points is it worth?

Bruce Pandolfini: It's just an opening move.

Josh Waitzkin: I want to know how much it's worth.

Bruce Pandolfini: Just do it for its own sake. Do it for the love of the game.

Josh Waitzkin: I want to know how many more points I am away to getting the certificate.

Bruce Pandolfini: Forget the certificate.

Josh Waitzkin: Why?

Bruce Pandolfini: I don't know.

Josh Waitzkin: What do you mean?

Bruce Pandolfini: I don't care. It's... white's move.

Josh Waitzkin: I want the certificate.

Bruce Pandolfini: [sighs] You want the certificate. You have to have the certificate.

[gets briefcase]

Bruce Pandolfini: You won't move until you get the certificate.

[opens it]

Bruce Pandolfini: Fine. You win.

[gives him copy of certificate]

Bruce Pandolfini: Here's your certificate.

Josh Waitzkin: [takes it]

Bruce Pandolfini: Fill it out. It doesn't mean anything. It's just a piece of paper. It's a xerox of a piece of paper. Do you want another one

[gives Josh another copy]

Bruce Pandolfini: Do you want 10?

[gives Josh few more copies]

Bruce Pandolfini: Do you want 20?

[continues stacking them on chess board one-by-one]

Bruce Pandolfini: 30? I've got a whole briefcase full of them. They don't mean anything, though.

Bonnie: [entering the room]

Bruce Pandolfini: They mean nothing.

Bonnie: Get out of my house.

Bruce Pandolfini: [sits there grimly a moment and then collects the certificates and prepares to leave]

Bonnie: [goes over to comfort Josh]

Bruce Pandolfini: [while getting coat on] To put a child in a position to care about winning and not to prepare him is wrong.

Bonnie: Get out of my house.

Bruce Pandolfini: [leaves]

Bonnie: [comforts Josh]

Bonnie: You have a good heart. And that's the most important thing in the world.

Bonnie: Please, I don't want to end it this way.

Brian: Jesus, everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn't end.

Bonnie: I've been thinking about you all day.

Brian: Really? A plane ride home will cure that.

Bonnie: Excuse me, do I have "fuck me" written on my forehead?

Bonnie: 1:01:00 Hi.

Bobby Chrystal: Hi, Bonnie. How have you been?

Bonnie: Good. You look terrific. What did you do?

Bobby Chrystal: Nothing. Same old me.

Bonnie: No. There's something different. You must be chasing some girl. Who is she?

Bobby Chrystal: There's no-one. How about you? You still seeing that college guy?

Bonnie: Biff? Sure!

Bonnie: Apparently his first two books...

Lee Simon: They were obliterated. I got the 3 esses: self-indulgent, sophomoric, sollipsistic...

Bonnie: I was sure you lead an alternative lifestyle, the first time you did Madonna. I mean cripe! How many three year olds can say they performed her entire Blonde Ambition concert! Oh! Strike a Pose! Remember?

[Home video footage of 3 year old Nico dressed as Madonna]

Bonnie: I'd admit though, I did start to suspect a lot earlier. See how you already had that little swish in your step?

[Home video of toddler Nico wearing heels]

Bonnie: Oh yeah. You were always mommy's special boy. There you are at your first rock concert. Carol Channing was on FIRE that night. And that's the time you dressed up like Karen Black in Airport 75 when we flew to Florida! THERE'S NOBODY FLYING THE PLANE!

Nico: OK! OK! I get it!

Andy Wilson: Isn't anyone bottom curious?

Bonnie: What are you curious about, Andy?

Andy Wilson: Uh, we were just talking about, um, it's, uh... where do you get your hair done? Because my mom's looking for a new place.

Bonnie: Oh, thanks! I highly recommend Wal-Mart's beauty salon. Be sure to ask for Mr. Lans. He is a genius with a curling iron... and such a flirt!

Nico: See? She just doesn't *get* it.

Bonnie: You didn't come home last night. What's going on?

Nico: Mom, I think... I like guys.

Bonnie: ...DUH!

Bonnie: Gosh darn that Wal-Mart sure does have a nice photo shop!

Bonnie: Anthony, what are you doing down there?

Anthony: Just praying.

Bonnie: Well, pray properly. Have you thought about your sins?

Anthony: I think i thought about them enough.

Bonnie: Well, go get in the confessional, then. Be quick, 'cause we have to go. Skip some sins if you have to. He'll get the point.

Bonnie: If your manner of speech is in any way a reflection of what goes on inside your head, you are lucky you can tie your shoes.

Bonnie: Oh Mr. David, this is even better than amyl nitrate. It's better than Carvada. It's even better than heroin! Oh Jesus, this is even better than last time! if only we could perform acts 24 hours a day! Oh, that would be supreme happiness.

Lady Divine: How dare you contaminate my dressing room with this little piece of filth!

Mr. David: She is not! She's an auto-erotic coprophiliac and a gerontophiliac and I just thought you might be interested in her for the show, that's all.

Bonnie: Yes and I can start immediately. I have this great act all worked out, with this great old man in his late 70s and his mirror, well, actually he's my...

Lady Divine: [in disgust] Oh!

Bonnie: ...and we used to have kind of a thing together, and I heard about this show and I thought what an ideal setup, I mean!

Lady Divine: Get her out! Get her out of here! How can you flaunt your cheap little one-night-stands in my face, especially at a time like this?

Bonnie: Mr. David, I have to see you again! I want to perform acts with you! Now!

Mr. David: You know that's impossible.

Bonnie: Oh, please, please! Oh, god! God damnit!

Bonnie: No one has been near my private parts... except for this old lady I met on the bus.

Mr. David: You've been lying all along.

Bonnie: Oh, no, no I haven't Mr. David. It was just she was so old I felt bad for her. I only let her... well, you know. It was no big production or anything, it WAS on the bus and all.

Bonnie: Mr. David, am I better than Lady Divine?

Mr. David: Different. Just completely different.

Bonnie: He would be a great brother.

Lorena: Who? Steven?

Bonnie: No, the dummy.

Bonnie: Oh good my cheesy I love my cheesy!

Ivan: Bonnie, act your age.

Bonnie: I'm eleven.

Ivan: Act it.

Bonnie: How the hell do you act eleven?

Ivan: That's better.

Bonnie: You mean you're a...?

Jeannie Davis: Yes, and I always have been.

Bob: You know I'm very much in love with you, don't you?

Bonnie: Are you?

Bob: I'm crazy about you, and you know it.

Bonnie: I didn't know.

Bob: Well, you know it now. What about it?

Bonnie: That's it... what?

Bob: Going to make me stand on ceremony?

Bonnie: You think I'm so old-fashioned?

Bob: I hope not.

Bonnie: You're right. I'm not. I believe in... in trying love out.

Bob: On approval?

Bonnie: Yes, on approval.

[they kiss as the scene fades out]

Bonnie: I know, the auction's in full wing... going, going, gawn.

Rodney: It's a tough break being left stranded like this. Why, we're paupers!

Bonnie: [laughs] Well, there's no use crying about it. Buck up! Put on your spurs and gauntlets and give the world a battle.

Bonnie: [she gently, playfully punches his chin] Swat 'em in the eye.

Rodney: Yeah? Just how?

Bonnie: Go to work. I'm not afraid.

Rodney: [sarcastically] You? Why, what could you do? Open up a tea shoppie? "Bonnie Jordan's orange pekoe blend." Go to it.

Jake Luva: [obviously taken with Bonnie] You got me going, sister.

Bonnie: Can I depend on it?

Jake Luva: In a big way.

Stanley Jordan: Must you smoke before breakfast?

Bonnie: Well, I must if I want to keep thin, darling.

Bert Scranton: [advising Bonnie on being a reporter] You'll learn, kid. Clearness, condensation. Where, what, when, and why... that's the idea. Say, don't let those guys on the copy desk bother ya. They're just a lot of butchers at heart. Why, you know what they'd do if they got a chance?

Bonnie: What?

Bert Scranton: They'd cut the Lord's Prayer down to a one line squib. You know, "now I lay me down to sleep."

[Bonnie laughs]

Bob: [Bonnie pulls away after Bob kisses her] What's the matter? You've kissed me before, haven't you?

Bonnie: Yes, but that wasn't a permanent arrangement, was it?

Bob: Aren't you being clever?

Bonnie: And aren't you being vague as usual?

Bob: All right, if that's what you want, I'll set you up in a real establishment anytime you like. You don't have to make your living off of Jake Luva, dancing in his nightclub. I can do much better for you than that. Now, is that less vague?

Bonnie: That's very clear. Now we understand each other. I'm a cheap little dancer in a night club, and you thought you could have me on your own terms. Well, you're mistaken! I can still pick my own men, Mr. Townsend, and right now it's Jake Luva.

Bonnie: [to Bob] No, don't touch me. That's all over with. Nice of you to be so generous, but I must be going. I have a heavy date tonight.

Bonnie: [pausing at the door as she's leaving] I'm hitting the pace now, and I like it!

Bonnie: [just before cutting off the Warden's scrotum] Some people like soft tobacco pouches. Me, I just want a coin purse.

Bonnie: They don't teach anything in school. Nothing I need to know anyway.

Bonnie: I told you. Hilary and I killed the old lady just for fun. What, you want me to yell it out loud or something?

Bonnie: Fun is number one!

Jane: Despite what Hilary may tell you, fun is not number one.

Bonnie: You don't find me attractive?

Hillary: You ever see a cats ass? That's what you remind me of.

[first lines]

Nancy, Rochelle, Bonnie: Now is the time. This is the hour. Ours is the magic. Ours is the power. Now is the time. This is the hour. Ours is the magic. Ours is the power

[Repeat]

Bonnie: We were just wondering; do you still have any powers?

Rochelle: 'Cause we don't.

[Bonnie shots her a look]

Rochelle: Sorry.

Sarah: So, if you ever just want to hang out and chant or call the corners...

Sarah: [scathing] Maybe. Hold your breath until I call.

[Turns away]

Rochelle: [as she and Bonnie start walking away] She probably doesn't have any powers anyway.

Sarah: [Turns around with a look of concentration. Wind blows, clouds cover the sky. Lightening flashes; a bolt hitting a tree branch which falls close to Bonnie and Rochelle. They stumble to the ground to avoid it, and the sky returns to normal. Sarah stares at them with a hard expression] Be careful. You don't want to end up like Nancy.

Nancy: [Performing the spell to evoke the spirit; calling the corners] Hail to the guardians of the watchtowers of the East, the powers of air and invention. Hear me! Us! Hear us!

Bonnie: Hail to the guardians of the watchtowers of the South, the powers of fire and feeling. Hear us.

Rochelle: Hail to the guardians of the watchtowers of the West, powers of water and intuition. Hear us.

Sarah: Hail to the guardians of the watchtowers of the North, by the powers of mother and earth. Hear us.

Nancy: Aid us in our magical workings on this May's eve.

[pause]

Nancy: [Continues with a new chant] Serpent of old, ruler of the deep. Guardian of the bitter sea. Show us your glory. Show us your power! We pray of thee, we pray of thee. We invoke thee.

[lightening crashes]

Rochelle: You guys, maybe he'll really listen to us now.

Sarah: Who?

Rochelle: Manon.

Sarah: What's that? That's like God?

Bonnie: No. Man invented God. This is much older then that.

Sarah: Do you guys worship the devil?

[the other three girls laugh at Sarah]

Nancy: No. It's like God and the Devil. I mean, it's everything. It's the trees, it's the ground, it's the rocks, it's the moon... it's everything.

Sarah: It's nature.

Nancy: If God and the Devil were playing football, Manon would be the stadium that they played on. It would be the sun that shone down on them.

Rochelle: All these songs are by Connie Francis.

Grace: Yeah, isn't that great? Since I was a little girl all I've wanted in life was a jukebox that played nothing but Connie Francis records.

Bonnie: That's great.

Rochelle: Who's Connie Francis?

Grace: Who's Connie Francis? Honey, listen and learn! Connie Francis!

Sarah: What's wrong with her?

Rochelle: Her spell's not working.

Bonnie: What spell?

Rochelle: I don't know. She doesn't want to be white trash anymore. I told her, "You're white honey! Just get over it."

Nancy: He comes on to anything with tits, Sarah.

Bonnie: Except me.

Sarah: I'm not watching him.

Nancy: He spreads disease.

[uncomfortablely]

Nancy: I speak from personal experience.

[after yelling at Chris]

Nancy: HE'S A JERK!

Nancy: So hot-stuff how did it go?

Sarah: How did what go?

Nancy: Your date with Chris.

Rochelle: Chris already told everybody.

Sarah: [confused] Told everybody what?

Bonnie: That you guys "did it".

Sarah: But we didn't... do it.

Nancy: Well then he was just trying to save-face because he's going around the whole school saying that you were the "lousiest lay he's EVER had" and coming from him that's pretty bad.

Sarah: [looking over to the other girls in the classroom who were giggling] UH UH.

[hoping it wasn't true]

Rochelle: He said the same stuff about Nancy.

Nancy: Told you he was a jerk.

Bonnie: The almanac says today will bring an arrival or something.

Nancy: Yeah, wonderful. I'm getting my rag.

Bonnie: A new wholeness and with it a new balance, earth air, fire, water... maybe it's our fourth!

Nancy: We don't need a fourth.

Bonnie: Nancy, We need someone to call the corners; North, South, East, and West.

Rochelle: Four would make a circle

Nancy: Maybe she could be our fourth?

[motions to female security guard]

Nancy: I love a woman in uniform!

Nancy: [noticing Sarah's cuts] What's up with that?

Sarah: [embarrassed] I slit my wrists.

Bonnie: What you'd do it with?

Sarah: A-a kitchen knife.

Bonnie: [surprised] You even did it the right way.

Sarah: Yeah...

Nancy: [reassuring her] PUNK ROCK! Let's go.

Rochelle: The right way? How do you know the right way?

Bonnie: [defensive] Shut up Rochelle.

Rochelle: Well how do you know?

Homeroom Teacher: Homeroom starts at 8:45 sharp!

Bonnie: [Not caring] Sorry, my pedicure ran late.

Bonnie: [to an attractive passer-by] Hi!

[he continues walking]

Bonnie: Don't be shy honey. Nice ass!

Rochelle: Bonnie!

Bonnie: What? He has a cute butt.

Sarah: You're a slut.

Rochelle: Maybe you should ask him out.

Sarah: You know it.

Bonnie: [laughs] Yeah, "Hey, I like your butt. Do you want to have dinner?"

Bonnie: So does stuff like tonight happen to you a lot?

Sarah: No. Not like that.

[pause]

Sarah: Other... stuff.

Rochelle: Where did you learn it?

Sarah: I don't know.

Bonnie: [Nods] A natural witch.

Sarah: [Teaching the game "light as a feather; stiff as a board] You take your index finger and your middle finger and put it under her like this

[Nancy, Sarah, and Bonnie all put their two fingers under Rochelle]

Sarah: [Continuing] Now you have to imagine that she's incredibly light; like she's made of air.

Bonnie: Is that her whole body or just her head?

[laughs]

Rochelle: Cow!

Sarah: Guys, concentrate or it's not gonna work.

Nancy: [everyone is silent briefly, until Nancy laughs] I think I sprained my finger.

Rochelle: Shut up!

[Bonnie laughs]

Sarah: [Trying not to smile] Guys, focus! Ready?

Nancy, Sarah, Bonnie: [they start chanting] Light as a feather, stiff as a board. Light as a feather, stiff as a board

[They keep chanting until Rochelle is raised over two feet in the air]

Sarah: [opens her eyes] Holy shit.

[Bonnie and Nancy stare, speechless]

Rochelle: [Eyes closed] You guys, it's not working.

[opens her eyes and sees she's suspended in mid air]

Rochelle: Wow.

Sarah: Shut up or you're gonna fall!

Rochelle: How do I get down? Whose got the instructions?

Sarah: Just concentrate.

[All are quiet until Bonnie's mom knocks on the door, entering the room just as Rochelle drops to the floor]

Rochelle: Ow! My butt!

Bonnie: I drink of my sisters, and I take into myself the power to be beautiful, outside as well as in.

Nancy: [Driving] Can you guys tell me what color that light is?

Sarah: It's red.

Nancy: [keeps driving, puts on a faux confused voice] Doesn't red mean stop?

Bonnie: [Playfully] Yeah, red means stop.

[Nancy continues driving, the red light turns green just as they reach it]

Sarah: [concerned] It's like what Lirio was talking about; throwing things out of balance. I know you guys think we're getting what we want now, but it's going to come back to us, threefold.

Bonnie: [Mockingly] Ohh!

Nancy: Are we actually having a theological conversation here. I mean it's fun, it's scary. I mean, who gives a shit?

[Bonnie and Rochelle giggle in the backseat]

Sarah: [Turning to them] What do you guys think?

Nancy: [dismissively] They don't think

Rochelle: [mock offended] Bitch!

[Bonnie continues to giggle]

Nancy: [Turns to Sarah] And stop trying to win them over, because it won't work.

Rochelle: [Slightly annoyed] I'm not trying to win them over, you're paranoid.

Nancy: [Angry] I'm paranoid? I'm not paranoid!

[Bonnie and Rochelle start repeating the word "paranoid", contiguously laughing historically]

Nancy: Will you guys shut up!

[to Sarah]

Nancy: You want in or do you want to leave this circle? Just tell me right now.

Sarah: [Raising her voice slightly] Why does it always have to be that way with you Nancy?

Nancy: [Very angry] Because that's the way it is!

Sarah: [Sarah's tone calms down, but remains firm] All I'm saying is, I think you should *think*.

[pause]

Sarah: Add I don't want out.

[Takes on a warning tone]

Sarah: One of these times, the light's not gonna be green, Nancy.

Rochelle: [tentative] Sarah?

Bonnie: [also tentative, but slightly more confident] Hi Sarah, how are you?

Sarah: [Slightly scornful] Good, then again I can sleep at night so... how are *you*.

Rochelle: We... want to apologize. We feel really bad about...

Sarah: [Cuts her off] Trying to kill me?

Bonnie: [about running away when the snake man is hit by a car] The car hit him, and we made it happen!

Nancy: [diplomatic] Maybe, maybe not.

Bonnie: [Excited] Definitely! I thought to myself, "it's going to hit him".

Rochelle: [also excited] I thought it too!

Nancy: Well, I did too...

Bonnie: Sarah, did you think it?

Sarah: [Slightly apprehensive] Yeah.

Bonnie: Then that's it, Sarah's the forth! North, South, East, and West; we can make things happen! This is it, this is real.

Nancy: [Finally starting to share the excitement] Shit.

Sarah: [Performing a glamor spell] This is to feel/This is to be/Shape and form it/For all to see

[moves her hands to cover her eyes]

Sarah: By the power of three times three/As I will it/So shall it be!

[Uncovers her eyes in a ta-da move]

Rochelle: [Nancy, Bonnie and Rochelle look around, confused] What?

Sarah: My eyes are brown.

[they move in closer to look]

Bonnie: [unimpressed] Oh.

Sarah: [explaining] They're usually green.

Bonnie: [Still lackluster] Oh.

Nancy: [sounding unimpressed to the point of annoyance] You can do that with contacts.

Bonnie: [Reassuringly] Yeah, but it's good. I mean, it suits you.

Rochelle: [lackluster] Subtle.

[adds reassuringly]

Rochelle: but good!

Sarah: You want something bigger?

Nancy: [Now excited] I want bigger!

Sarah: [Of witchcraft] You guy's are really into all this?

Bonnie: [dismissively] Sort of.

Chris: Sara?

Sarah: Yeah?

Chris: [seems to lose confidence] Nevermind.

Bonnie: [referring to Sara's spell] It's working!

Sarah: That or he's gone completely crazy.

Bonnie: Some of these football dicks make their girlfriends come and watch them practice as if it's interesting.

Bonnie: George Malley! You learned the Portuguese language in 20 minutes?

George Malley: Not all of it.

Bonnie: Oh my stars! This must be your little one. You are so handsome. What's your name?

Howie: Howie.

Bonnie: Of course, of the Howie family. Well, you are a good-looking young man. Just gorgeous. You know, I'm single now.

Bonnie: My goodness, Karen. The last time I remember seeing you was at Melanie's wedding.

Karen: Oh... That was a long time ago, wasn't it.

Bonnie: Was it? You haven't changed one bit.

Bonnie: I never told you that story before. I never told anyone.

Gam: And I wish you hadn't.

Bonnie: In five minutes, I'll have you as sober as I am.

[stumbles into clothes rack, knocking it over]

Bonnie: I was kissed by a Spaniard once... now look at me!