Bobby Quotes in X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

Bobby: You won't have much time in the past, the Sentinels will find us. They always do.

Kitty Pryde: And this time we won't be able to run, we'll have no escape. This is our last chance.

Bobby: Welcome to Mutant High.

[Bobby is about to face Daniel in the semifinals]

Kreese: Bobby - I want him out of commission.

Bobby: But Sensei, I can beat this guy!

Kreese: I don't want him beat.

Bobby: But I'll be disqualified!

Kreese: [icily] Out of commission.

Johnny Lawrence: [to Daniel as he's getting beaten by the Cobra Kai's after the Halloween Dance] You couldn't leave well enough alone, could you, little twerp? No, you had to push it. Well, now you're gonna pay!

Dutch: [as Daniel tries to flee] Where you going, sweetheart?

Bobby: [Dutch props Daniel up in front of Johnny] Give him a front kick, Johnny!

Johnny Lawrence: [Johnny does so twice,knocking Daniel against the fence and to the ground] Get him up!

Bobby: Leave him alone, man... he's had enough.

Dutch: Shut up, Bobby!

Bobby: Look at him, Dutch! He can't even stand up!

Tommy: So what?

Dutch: That don't mean squat!

Bobby: Johnny... leave him alone, man! He's had enough!

Johnny Lawrence: [screaming with rage] I'll decide when he's had enough, man!

Bobby: What is wrong with you, Johnny?

Johnny Lawrence: An enemy deserves no mercy!

Dutch: Right!

Johnny Lawrence: Right?

Dutch: Right!

Bobby: You're crazy, man!

Johnny Lawrence: [Miyagi intervenes and pushes Daniel out of the way as Johnny strikes] Tommy, Bobby... get him!

[Miyagi knocks all four Cobra Kais out]

[from trailer]

Bobby's Mom: [after Red attacks the Anger Management sign] Don't look, Bobby! The anger might be contagious!

Bobby: [waves "hi" to Red]

Red: He started it.

Bobby: We just saved about a billion lives there.

Wolverine: Got any beer?

Bobby: This is a school.

Wolverine: So that's a "no"?

Bobby: Yeah, that's a "no."

Wolverine: Got anything other than chocolate milk?

Pyro: [grunts] I don't like uncomfortable silences.

Rogue: What are you doing?

[radio turns on and "Bye Bye Bye" by N'Sync Plays]

Pyro, Rogue, Wolverine, Bobby: [all groan] Ahh.

Wolverine: Who's this guy?

Rogue: This is Bobby, he's my...

Bobby: I'm her boyfriend.

[shakes Logan's hand and freezes it]

Bobby: Call me Iceman.

Wolverine: Boyfriend? So how do you guys...?

Bobby: Well, we're still working on that.

Madeline Drake: Bobby? Aren't you supposed to be in school?

William Drake: Do you know him?

[they look at Logan]

Bobby: That's Professor... Logan. Mom, Dad... there's something I need to tell you.

Bobby: I found some of my Mom's old clothes. I think they're from before I was born.

Rogue: [pauses, looking over the clothes] Groovy.

Bobby: This is Cyclops' car.

Wolverine: Oh, yeah?

[pops his middle claw, and uses it to turn the ignition]

Bobby: Have you ever wanted to be with someone so badly, but you can't?

[pause]

Bobby: I've seen how you look at Professor Grey.

Wolverine: Excuse me?

Bobby: Nothing.

Bobby: [to Rogue] I'll try to find some clothes,

[to John]

Bobby: Don't burn anything.

[Pyro gets into a fight with some kids in the food court, and sets one's clothes on fire. Bobby puts it out with a jet of ice. Just as everyone is staring at them, they freeze. There is dead silence]

Rogue: Bobby, what did you do?

Bobby: I didn't do this.

Professor X: No, I did.

[Professor X. wheels up]

Professor X: And the next time you feel like showing off... don't.

[they're playing thumb war]

Bobby: You're so dead.

Rogue: No, you're dead.

[they get closer and Bobby leans in for a kiss]

Rogue: I don't want to hurt you.

Bobby: I'm not afraid.

Rogue: John, knock it off.

Bobby: Will you stop showing off?

Pyro: What, for her? It's not my fault if your girlfriend's getting excited.

Bobby: [about to kiss Rogue] You won't hurt me.

Pyro: That's it.

Bobby: Whoa. What do you think you're doing.

Pyro: I'm tired of this kid's-table shit, I'm going in there.

Rogue: John they told us to stay here.

Pyro: [looks back] You always do what you're told?

[leaves the jet]

Wolverine: How long have you been here?

Bobby: Couple of years, it's not so bad.

Wolverine: What about your parents, they just shipped you off to mutant school?

Bobby: Actually, my parents think this is a prep school.

Wolverine: Well, I guess lots of prep schools have their own campus, dorms, kitchens...

Bobby: Jets?

Clarence Boddicker: Shit! I don't believe it!

Bobby: What?

Clarence Boddicker: You... you burnt the fucking money!

Bobby: I had to blow the door! What do you want?

Clarence Boddicker: It's as good as marked, you asshole. You stupid, stupid asshole!

Bobby: [imitating a teenage girl] The popos is here! Ya'll better run, man, these white cops are crazy! They killed Cornbread! They killed him - he didn't do nothin'!

Damian: Call me an ambulance.

Bobby: What? For my Dog bites? Nah, I'll be fine.

Angel: I gotta ask you a question. Me and Sofi did a lot of making up last night. It seems like a got a little rust on my tools down here

[opens his bathrobe]

Bobby: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Ask the cockologist in the shower.

Jack: How the hell would I know?

Bobby: You're the expert.

Jack: [looks for a second] Rug burn.

Camille Mercer: Bobby! You told me you weren't gonna let him get hurt!

Bobby: He breathin'.

Bobby: I wanna make a toast to Evelyn Mercer, the greatest mother four degenerate bastards ever had. Pour me and my brothers another round, and some nice warm milk for my little sister.

Jack: Man, I will drink you under the table.

Bobby: We're not talking about sperm, Jack, this is whiskey.

Bobby: Lemme catch you on the street without that badge! I'll smack that smirk right off your face, you punk!

Jack: Jack drinks Jack! Jack drink Jack!

[considering his name is Jack and he's Drinking Jack Daniels]

Jeremiah: Jackie is drunk!

Bobby: Jack likes ass crack and ballsack.

Jack: Jack doesn't like ass crack and ballsack! Jack likes boobs! Jack's got fans. Jack's got lots of fans.

Angel: Man, shut the hell up.

Bobby: Jack, it was a questionable kill.

Jack: What makes you think that?

Bobby: Boy, it's sad, you growing up without a father. Nobody taught you anything, did they? Maybe I should've stayed around longer and held your little hand, huh sweetheart? Sometimes pros will cover up their shots with another crime, like a burglary or something, then pay a witness to throw the cops onto the wrong suspect.

Jack: Why would anybody wanna kill the sweetest woman in the God-damn world?

Bobby: I dunno, Jackie. I dunno.

Bobby: What about me, Green? You gonna arrest me too?

Lt. Green: That depends, Bobby. You keeping strait?

Bobby: Strait-ish.

Bobby: I don't know how you did it for so many years, man. It must've driven you crazy, Angel. On a ship for, what, six months at a time with nothing but dudes

Angel: It wasn't a ship. And the marine's went co-ed, they got girls now.

Bobby: Yeah, I bet'cha those girls look like dudes too, though.

Angel: Not after six months they don't.

Jack: You guys are coming up with this pretty quick.

Bobby: Yeah, we should've been cops.

Bobby: I ain't playing no more. I'm gonna go in there and bust that melon...

Jack: Hey! His family's in there!

Angel: Bobby, you're gonna have to calm down.

Bobby: Oh, I'm calm. He think's I'm an idiot! He thinks I don't know what the fuck is going on!

Jack: So, shit, Bobby, what've you been up to?

Bobby: I'm a freakin' college professor, Jack, what do you think I've been doing.

Jack: I doubt that.

Bobby: What about you? You still sucking a little cock left and right, or what?

Jack: Fucker.

Jeremiah: Do you remember when I built that tree house and you burnt that shit down? Boy, I wanted to kick your ass!

Bobby: Don't worry, your house is brick, I ain't gonna burn it down.

Bobby: Thanks for coming, Green. Ma would've been happy you made it to the service.

Lt. Green: Shit, your mom would've been happy you made it back for her funeral!

Bobby: I didn't come back for no funeral.

Jack: What do you think he found?

Bobby: I don't know, but it's something big.

Jack: How can you tell?

Bobby: By the sound of his voice. I know my brother.

Angel: You said something, didn't you, Jerry?

Jeremiah: I did not say nothing, man.

Angel: Why you always - ?

Bobby: I did.

Jeremiah: What you say?

Bobby: I told him I was banging his wife. Come on, man!

Angel: I did too.

Jeremiah: Me too.

Jack: [meeting Jeremiah's daughters] Hey, you must be Daniela!

Bobby: [petting Amelia's costumed dog] and you must be Amelia! I like your dress...

Amelia Mercer: I'm Amelia!

Bobby: I know. You probably don't remember us, but I'm your Uncle Bobby, and this is Cracker Jack.

Jack: Man, don't teach them that.

Daniela Mercer: You can't be our uncles. You're white.

Amelia Mercer: Grandma Eva's white!

Bobby: That's right. You see, we're a different kind of uncle. Your grandma, she adopted me and your uncle Jack just like she adopted your daddy.

Bobby: [after Jack is shot] Jack! Jack, look at me! Jack, you all right? Hold on. We need an ambulance!

Angel: Somebody help! Call 911!

Bobby: Jack. Jack. Jack! Jack, please. Come on, man.

Sofi: I'm calling, I'm calling!

Bobby: Come on, Jack, you gotta breathe!

Sofi: [on the phone] We need an ambulance right now!

Bobby: Don't you die on me you little fairy. Come on, Jack. Please! You gotta fucking breathe! Come on!

Jack: [grunts and gasps, gives one last breath, and dies]

Bobby: [crying] Jack! Jack. Jack, come on, Jack, please! Please...

Angel: [whispers] Jack.

Bobby: He's your brother? Well, shit, these are my brothers.

Keenon: [looks around] No, no: he's my real brother

Bobby: Yeah, these are my real brothers. I'm Bobby, that's Angel, Jack and Jeremiah.

[commentating as Jerry and Angel wrestle]

Bobby: Yeah, get him Jerry! The gorgeous black ladies of wrestling! Nitro and Midnight! Nitro's got Midnight in a headlock! Get him, Jerry! Midnight's trying to be up, but Nitro's on him!

Gang Leader: That shit was counterfit as a mother-fucker, man! Ain't nobody playing no basketball when that shit went down! Why you think the cops ain't arrest nobody?

Bobby: How do you know nobody was playing basketball if you weren't there?

Gang Leader: Because, bitch, the police said those people wasn't kill till 11 o'clock!

Bobby: So what?

Gang Leader: So they turn the court lights out at ten!

Bobby: I don't know what to do anymore. I already lost one brother. You guys are all I got.

Bobby: You been crying in here, you little fairy?

Jack: Leave it alone, man.

Bobby: [about Jack's guitar] Still making a lot of racket on the freakin' thing?

Jack: Yeah, still making a lot of racket. Too weird in mom's room?

Bobby: Oh, man, way too weird.

Bobby: Now I gotta light your ass on fire! All I wanted was a name, but you're gonna make me turn your ass into the black gingerbread man now! It's alright, I'll have my little brother here suck your burning dick!

Angel: It's a little heavy in here, I'm just gonna go outside and get a little air.

Bobby: You're full of shit, man. You can smell that ass from down the street, huh?

Angel: What are you talking about?

Bobby: What do you mean, what? You know exactly what we talking about with La Vida Loca.

Angel: Ain't nobody going to go get no La Vida Loca nothing!

Jeremiah: She's got a boyfriend.

Bobby: She's got a boyfriend, she's got hard dick in her right now. She screaming somebody else's name and the last thing she's doing is thinking about is your black ass.

Bobby: It's a real shame that little Jackie's the only down to ride. Say goodbye to your big sister, Jackie, let's go!

Jack: [sing-song] She's addicted to what Angel's dick did...

Angel: It's kinda hot in there, I'm just gonna go outside and get some air.

Bobby: [laughing] You can smell that ass from down the street, huh?

Angel: What are you talking about?

Bobby: What do you mean "what" man, you know "what", man.

Jeremiah: She's got a boyfriend.

Bobby: She's got a boyfriend, she's got hard dick in her right now and she's screaming someone else's name and the last thing she's thinking about is your black ass.

[All Laugh]

Angel: Why are you guys comin' at me with this. I told you I'm not going to go see that girl, and I'm NOT!

Bobby: [after Jack is shot] Oh, come on - don't die on me, you little fairy.

[last lines]

Evelyn Mercer: Always so good to have you back home, son. You gonna stick around a little while this time?

Bobby: I'm thinkin' about it, Ma. I'm thinkin' about it.

Evelyn Mercer: [chuckling] Oh, Bobby.

Jeremiah: What's the plan, Bobby?

Bobby: We're wingin' it, Jerry.

Jeremiah: We're always wingin' it.

Jack: We're gonna get killed.

Angel: What'cha mean WE, white boy?

Bobby: [after crashing into a parked car while chasing the killers] Aw! Wrecked the whole side of my fucking car!

Jack: You gonna get these guys before you kill us?

Bobby: Sit back and put your fucking seatbelt on, Jack.

Bobby: Jack, you got your seatbelt on? Watch this. Hold on.

[crashes into the killers' car]

Bobby: We got a blowout.

Jack: Bobby, let's just stop the car. Okay, Bobby, let's just stop.

Bobby: Shut up, Jack. Gonna ride this out on the rim.

Bobby: [seeing Jack pissing on the floor] Look, look at your little brother.

Jeremiah: Jack!

Jack: Oh I'm sorry, is this the master suite?

[Angel, Bobby, and Jerimiah laugh]

Jack: Am I making the property value go down?

Bobby: [puts his arm around Jack's shoulder] You okay, man?

Jack: [puts his head down and nods]

Bobby: You sure?

Jack: [nods again, keeping his head down]

Bobby: I love you, man.

Jack: [looks up]

Jack: Come on let's go see, Jerry.

Bobby: [to Jack] Turn around, dick lips! What the fuck are you looking at?

Jack: [crying after being shot] BOBBY!

Bobby: [pinned down on the porch] Jack!

Jack: [crying] BOBBY!

Jeremiah: Jack!

Jack: Bobby, take it easy.

Bobby: Shut up Jack.

Detective Fowler: Hey, Gretzky, you know what this is?

Bobby: A hair from your wife's tit?

Bobby: She's so La Vida Loca.

Angel: Shut up Bobby, don't start with that! That's why you don't get a girlfriend.

Bobby: I get a girlfriend every fucking week. You know what I want a girlfriend like you.

Sofi: Callate!

Angel: Please don't go there. Can y'all please not go there.

Sofi: [in a whiny voice] Angel, you said this time was going to be different.

Bobby: Ai mami, you're breaking mi corazon, chica. She's getting real comfortable here. What are you doing? I thought you were a macho man, a tough guy. You know, it's a crying shame that Little Jack is the only one down to ride.

Angel: Jerry ain't been strait up with us about that redevelopment project. I found out his dream's dead. Jerry got involved with some bad people. The city got on him about fraud and what not, cut his loans off like a month ago. Technically, Jerry's really broke.

Bobby: You think this had something to do with what happened to Ma?

Angel: No, I'm saying it's something we should look into.

Sofi: Angel, why you let him talk to me like that?

Bobby: Because I speak-a Spanish!

Bobby: [as Jeremiah exits the car] Want to take Cracker Jack with you?... He's flexible.

Jack: Bobby, you're the one who took ballet.

Bobby: Why don't you just tell me what you know, Angel?

Angel: I know you need to stay your ass on that porcelain. This is gonna require a little finesse. And given your prior reputation as a hothead, you'll be the first one to fuck it up.

Bobby: I wrote the fucking book on finesse! You just wait for me to wipe my ass, Angel. I'm coming with you. Angel!... Get me some fucking toilet paper, Jack!

Bobby: Thank *God*? You killed my mother and my little brother you mother fucker! Thank Victor Sweet!

Bobby: That wasn't no gang shooting. That was an execution. They set Mom up. They set her up.

Bobby: [to a booing crowd at a basketball game] You tell me where I can find this guy and you can finish your game.

Jeremiah: [pointing to Jack who's trying to get their attention] Cracker Jack.

Bobby: I appreciate your help very much. You've all been outstanding citizens.

Bobby: [to Damian as Damian is climbing out the window using a rope] I just wanted to talk!

Bobby: If I find out you had something to do with what happened to Ma, I swear to God, Jerry, I'm gonna kill you here and now!

Sofi: No, Bobby, no!

Bobby: Now Angel's gonna ask you some questions, and brother, I shit you not, the time for lying is over!

Angel: We know you lied about your business! And we know you got mixed up with some gangsters!

Jeremiah: You all think I had something to do with mom getting killed?

Angel: You got a check for four hundred thousand that you just so happened to forget to mention, for mom's life insurance!

Jeremiah: She took out the policy for the girls, man, I ain't had nothing to do with that! Come on!

Sofi: You made the payments!

Bobby: Good timing, Jerry, just when it seems like all is lost for you, Ma gets shot by some gangsters and now you hit the fucking lottery?

Jeremiah: So you're all tripping because I made insurance payments? I paid all her bills! And where the fuck were y'all? How many years did I have to take care of her my God-damned self? And you're going to tell me I killed her?

Jeremiah: Where's Bobby?

Bobby: Right here, Jerry!

[Bobby punches him]

Jack: [pointing to the killer] There he is.

Bobby: Where?

Jack: [pointing] Right there! The guy with the goatee!

Bobby: [pulling Jack's hand down] I see him Jack. Put your hand down!

Bobby: Get him, Jackie-O!

Jack: [shoots at the car twice and misses]

Bobby: You go, girl!

Bobby: [to Evander] Angel tells me you're one of Victor Sweet's boys now. Hear he's running shit like his uncle, treating you like a house nigger.

Angel: [about Damien] Think he dead?

Bobby: No, he ain't dead. He's just fucked up. Let's go talk to him now.

Bobby: Forget that, Green. I used to make a good living around here because cops like you couldn't find tits in a strip joint.

Bobby: They say dead men tell no tales, but they sure leave important shit lying around.

Bobby: You got a gun?

Angel: I flew in.

Bobby: [hands him a gun] Be careful with my baby.

Angel: Ooh...

Bobby: You like that?

Angel: You got ammo?

Bobby: Yeah, it's loaded, little brother. Be careful.

[to Jack]

Bobby: Here, you carry the gas can.

Jack: We're gonna do that gas thing?

Bobby: [mocking him] Yeah, we're gonna do the gas thing. The only thing that scares people more than getting burnt to death is getting eaten alive. Let's go.

Bobby: [starts to close the trunk]

Jack: Wait, what do I get?

Bobby: you coming with us? oh

[Bobby hands him a crowbar]

Bobby: Here you go, sweetheart, poke 'em with that.

Jack: [insulted] Thanks.

Bobby: I'll know they found my hair on a dead body when I hear the prison doors slam behind me.

Sofi: Do I recall something about having dinner together? Because I seem to remember spending *two hours* in the kitchen...

Angel: Sofi, baby...

Sofi: Angel! You promised that this time, things would be different.

Bobby: Ay, mami. You're breaking mi corazon.

Bobby: Oh look - a little Jackie puppy.

Bobby: Are you gonna bury Sweet or are we?

Bobby: You never heard the saying, never rob a bank across from a diner with the best donuts in three counties?

[from trailer]

[Bobby and Stig have each other in a sleeper hold]

Bobby: All right, all right! On the count of three, we'll let each other go.

Stig: All right.

Bobby: One, two, three.

[nothing happens]

Stig: Now you're making me not be able to trust you.

Bobby: I guess we can both talk to him at the same time.

Stig: What, like we're working together?

Bobby: No, not like we're working together.

Stig: [excitedly] Yeah!

Bobby: No, like we're working in the same, uh vicinity.

Stig: Together.

Bobby: In the same... area code.

Stig: Together.

Bobby: The same county.

Stig: They're torturing chickens, man!

Bobby: What is that you're eating.

Stig: A chicken.

[last lines]

Stig: You know, for a guy who just blew up $43 million, all of a sudden you are a very generous tipper.

Bobby: Who said I blew up $43 million?

Stig: What *are* you saying?

Bobby: I'm not saying anything. What are you hearing?

Stig: I'm hearing something. You're saying something.

Bobby: Well, if you're hearing it, it's only because you're hearing it, not 'cause I'm saying it.

Stig: How much did you keep? Two million? That's like one each.

Bobby: Oh so now you get half?

Stig: Well, I shot half the guys.

Bobby: So?

Stig: Two million?

Bobby: [winks]

Bobby: [to waitress] I'm very sorry about my friend. He was kicked in the head as a child.

[from trailer]

Bobby: So, partner, what's your plan?

Stig: I got a plan. I mean, I'm capable of coming up with a plan.

Bobby: I'm not saying you're not capable. I'm just saying you haven't told me. What is it?

Stig: I'm working on it!

[beat]

Stig: Screw it.

[Stig floors it sending the cops after them]

Bobby: That was your plan?

Stig: No one expected it! You should have seen your face!

[from trailer]

[Stig crashes into Bobby in a truck]

Bobby: Pull over!

Stig: Did you miss me?

Deb: [guns drawn on each other] Bobby?

Bobby: You said, stop by any time.

Bobby: Did you just wink at him?

Stig: I did just winked at him 'cause he's my bitch now!

Bobby: Uh-oh!

Jessup: I don't like coming to funerals of my own men.

Bobby: Well then don't come. Don't come.

Earl: You ever play Russian roulette?

[as he removes all but one bullet]

Earl: Thing is, most people put the gun to the temple. Well, that's just stupid. You blow a man's head off 'fore he's had a chance to tell you what you wanna know.

Bobby: Mess up your suit, too.

Bobby: If Papi knew we were even talkin' about rippin' off Tres Cruces it would be **our** heads in that bag next to the potato salad.

Stig: No way. Our two heads would never fit in a bag that small.

Deb: Did you ever love me?

Bobby: I really meant to love you.

Bobby: [Learning Nicole thought he was corrupt] Are you kidding? I walked you down the godamn isle!

Johnny: [Kreese and Johnny are arguing in the parking lot after the All-Valley Tournament] Come on, that's not fair! I got second place!

John Kreese: Second place? Second place is no place! You're off the team!

Johnny: That sucks! I did my best!

John Kreese: What?

Johnny: I said I did my best!

John Kreese: You're nothing! You lost! You're a loser!

Johnny: No, YOU'RE the loser, man!

John Kreese: Oh I'm the loser huh?

[grabs trophy from Johnny and breaks it, sending pieces flying]

John Kreese: Now who's the loser?

Johnny: You know, you're really sick man!

John Kreese: [grabs and puts Johnny in choke hold... Bobby runs up but Kreese swats him away] How does second place feel now?

Tommy: Come on, he can't breathe!

Bobby: Sensei, please... you're hurting him! He's sorry, he really is, OK?

Mr. Miyagi: [walking up to Kreese] Let him go.

Tommy: Yeah, Mr. Miyagi's right! Let him go!

[Kreese backhands Tommy]

John Kreese: [hissing] Beat it, slope... or you're NEXT!

Mr. Miyagi: I say, LET HIM GO!

John Kreese: [breaks hold and frees a gasping Johnny... Kreese strikes at Miyagi twice, breaking both hands in the process by slamming his fists through two car windows... Miyagi forces Kreese to his knees]

Mr. Miyagi: "Mercy is for the weak... when man confronts you, he is enemy...

[Kreese is staring fearfully at Miyagi, remembering his own words]

Mr. Miyagi: ...enemy deserve no mercy.

[Growls and brings fist to Kreese's nose, but honks it instead of delivering a fatal blow]

Bobby: [grabs Wilee's hurt ribs] Oh, I'm sorry. Is that uncomfortable?

Wilee: Douche bag.

Bobby: I don't really care for that term "douche bag." People throw it around like crazy these days, like it's suddenly okay. You know what else people say now? "Suck it." I was watching TV the other night, 8:30, the middle of prime time. Kids could be watching. Guy says, "Suck it." Everybody's laughing. Ha, ha, ha! How is that appropriate?

Bobby: Hey! That envelope you picked up, I gotta ask for it back.

Wilee: Yeah, the thing is, once it goes in the bag, it's gotta stay in the bag.

Bobby: [threateningly] It's in your best interest to give me the envelope.

Wilee: Just who are you?

Bobby: Forrest J Ackerman, campus security.

Wilee: Who are you, man?

Bobby: I'm the guy you don't fuck with.

Bobby: [to Wilee] This whole city hates you.

Bobby: If you don't give over that envelope, you have no idea what's coming for you.

Bobby: Are you negotiating?

Wilee: Count on it!

Bobby: I'll see you when I see you

Bobby: Is that Christmas music I hear?

Annie: Yeah.

Bobby: What the hell? It's, like, 115 degrees.

Bobby: That's Viper territory. I'm a Deuce.

Annie: A Douche?

Annie: Come on... it's just a line in the street.

Bobby: Not to me.

Spyro: Haven't seen you in a while Bobby, where you been?

Bobby: I've been around, you know me I'm Alway's taking care of business.

Damien: Bobby explain something to me, how the fuck can you miss hitting a man in the head At Point Blank Range!

Bobby: I thought i hit him.

Kayo: [about to kill Marvin bookman] Fuck this old motherfucker!, better yet Bobby bring your motherfucking ass over here!

Bobby: Look, it ain't even going on like that!

Kayo: Man, you wanna be a rebel or not motherfucker COME ON OVER HERE MAN!

[gives gun to Bobby]

Kayo: your gonna bust his caps up into his ass

Bobby: Man look at his ass!

Kayo: Your gonna get your stripes on a rebel or what

Bobby: Fuck it man

[discussing two women]

Bobby: Which one do you want?

Ernie: The mean one.

Bobby: You're a sick man.

Ernie: You bet!

Bobby: You're the only man I know who can screw up his own wet dream.

[last lines]

Bobby: [looks to his teenage sister Mary] Will they look for Aunt Tina?

[chews on a piece of Tina's flesh]

Bobby: [sharpening blades] Ain't you gonna scream? Beg for your life?

Drake: Not high on my list of things to do today.

Zammeti: So, I understand Maranzano is interested in one of our properties?

Bobby: Yeah. That warehouse over on Merchant Street. The volume on our import business has risen dramatically. The proceeds this quarter will be supernumerary due to the...

Zammeti: ...super what?

Bobby: Supernumerary. It means better than expected.

Zammeti: Then why not just fuckin' say better than expected? Everybody knows what better than expected means.

Bobby: I'm taking a vocabulary course to enhance my communication skills.

Jack: [after they accidently kill his brother, Glen] You're going to jail

Bobby: Can't go to jail man

[hits Jack with a baseball bat]

Cliff: Bobby, 365 times 12.9...

Bobby: [confidently] 4,218.5.

Cliff: That's the damnedest thing. He can't spell bird, but he can add up, he can add up anything. He's one of them, uh, one of them artistic savants.

Bobby: Either Mr. Johnson turned into a pretty young woman last night... or he's been hiding something from us.

Gavin: [finding Elliot's paw print] Hey, guys. What do you think?

Bobby: A bear?

Gavin: Have you ever seen a bear that big?

Sherrif Bullard: Don't ever do nothin' like this again. Don't come back up here.

Bobby: You don't have to worry about that, Sheriff.

Bobby: Mister, I love the way you wear that hat.

Old man: [after taking off his hat and examining it] You don't know nothin'.

Mountain Man: I bet you can squeal like a pig. Weeeeeeee!

Bobby: Weee!

Mountain Man: Weeeeeeee!

Bobby: Weee!

[Ed just killed a man believed to be the second rapist]

Bobby: That's him? I mean... he wasn't just some guy out hunting, was it?

Ed: [shouts] You tell me!

Bobby: [indicating a junk car by a rural gas station] That's my '51 Dodge. No, that's my car! That's my car! Whooee! All my youth and passion... spent in that back seat. It's all gone, you see? It's all gone - rust and dust.

Bobby: We beat it, didn't we? Didn't we beat that?

Lewis: You don't beat it. You don't beat this river...

Bobby: [Old lady is describing a cucumber she'd grown and asks the other guests to guess how big it was] Tell me, how big?

Old lady at Biddiford's: Twelve and a half inches long. And I measured it around and it was ten and a half around. That was the darnedest lookin' cucumber you ever did see!

Bobby: I had my first wet dream in a sleepin' bag.

Ed: How was it?

Bobby: Great.

[pause]

Bobby: There's no repeatin' it.

Bobby: Talk about genetic deficiencies-isn't that pitiful?

[first lines]

Lewis: You w- you wanna... you wanna talk about the vanishing wilderness?

Bobby: Lewis, listen - what are you so anxious about this?

Lewis: Because they're buildin' a dam across the Cahulawassee River; they're gonna flood a whole valley, Bobby, that's why. Dammit, they're drownin' a river; they're drownin' a river, man.

Bobby: Which way we goin', this way or that way?

Lewis: I think downstream would be a good idea.

Bobby: [about Drew] I really didn't know him.

Lewis: This is the one! There she is.

[Lewis pushes aside tree branches and we see the river for the first time]

Ed: Looks good. Looks good.

Lewis: [mournfully] Couple more months, and she'll all be gone.

Bobby: [offscreen] Ed! Lewis!

Ed: Even up as far as here?

Lewis: From Aintry on up. One big, dead lake.

Lewis: [to Bobby, angrily] OVER HERE!

Bobby: There's no end to it.

Bobby: Hey, what happens if we flip this thing over?

Lewis: Now that you brought that up, hang onto your paddle. And if you hit any rocks, don't hit 'em with your head.

Bobby: Lewis, is this how you get your rocks off?

Louie: Mark my words, Mittens. One day, someone's gonna stand up to you! Someone's gonna teach you a lesson!

[flies off]

Mittens: Yeah, I'm really scared now-

[Bolt jumps in and pins her to a garbage can]

Bolt: You should be!

Mittens: Aaah! Okay! You...!

Bolt: Where is she?

Mittens: Aaah... Who?

Bolt: You know why I'm here!

Mittens: Aaahhh...

Bolt: Where is she?

Mittens: Okay, okay! Look buddy, I- I don't know what you're getting at, but...

[she looks up and sees Joey, Bobby and Vinnie laughing on a telephone wire]

Vinnie: Come on, Mittens. Just tell the guy where she is. Tell the dog, make him happy.

Bobby: Yeah, yeah, come on, Mittens! Tell him!

Mittens: [chuckles briefly] Joey, Vinnie, Bobby, my boys! Would you tell the crazy canine that he's got the wrong cat?

Vinnie: [pause] You got her, pal!

Joey: That's her!

Vinnie: She's the one!

Joey: That is definitely the right cat!

[Mittens looks back at Bolt and laughs nervously]

Bolt: Looks like we're gonna do this the hard way.

[cuts to Bolt hanging Mittens over a busy highway]

Mittens: Whoa! Aaah! You're crazy, man!

[cuts to the pigeons, looking shocked]

Vinnie: Hey Joey, did we go to far on this?

Joey: You kidding? This is the best day of my life.

Vinnie: You know, I gotta say something, if I could say something here. You look familiar. Joey, look at this guy's mug.

Joey: Yeah, you know, I could've sworn I've seen this guy before

Bobby: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Vinnie: I gotta tell ya, I never forget a face.

Joey: He never does.

Bobby: Oh yeah, yeah.

Joey: Never.

Bobby: Yeah, yeah. He's really good with the faces and such.

Bolt: Listen, listen! The man with the green eye. Tell me what you know, birds!

Vinnie: [pause] I know this dog.

Bobby: Yeah, yeah, me too!

Vinnie: I gotta remember, it's gonna kill me. Hold on.

[a bus stops beside them showing a poster of Bolt]

Vinnie: [pause] No, I don't know. I, I, I thought I know.

Bobby: Hey, you ever hang out down on 14th Street with a stray named Kelvin?

Joey: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kelvin, the Labrador.

Bolt: What?

Vinnie: You gotta gimme something here, cause this is redonkulous.

Bobby: Absolutely redonkulous!

Vinnie: Capisch redonkulous! Ya know what that means?

Bobby: Max, look, it's the Leaning Tower of Cheesa!

Max: [referring to electronic equipment] Wow! All this is for us?

Bobby: Mmm... Slurpish.

Max: [taking the equipment] Oh, this is going to be so great, man!

Bobby: [taking it back] Dude, need fundage, bro.

Max: Oh, your fee. Yeah, right here.

[gives him a can of cheese whiz]

Bobby: [shouts] Cheddar! Aah-ooh! Cheddar whizzy!

Bobby: [hands Max his can of cheese whiz] Max, here. Guard this with your life, dude.

Miss Maples: [dancing with Max] It's not my break, yet.

Bobby: Yeah! Dance with her! Groove with her!

Bobby: A little smokage!

Bobby: Don't lose your garlic.

Bobby: They're nice and squishy.

Peter: [rushes into the lake to break up the fight between Anna, Casey and Cluny] Are you all right?

Casey Brown: Yeah. Yeah, I'm OK... I'm fine!

[holds her eye and trods out of the lake]

Peter: [holds Cluny and Anna each by the arm] You two ought to be ashamed of yourselves! Two against one!

Bobby: [on the shore] Yes! And what will Grandmother say when she finds out?

Casey Brown: [Knock on the door] Yeah, who is it? Come on in.

Bobby: It's me. You awake?

Casey Brown: Yeah, I think I am. How come you're not in bed?

Bobby: I've got something for you.

Casey Brown: What's that?

Bobby: Garlic.

Casey Brown: Garlic?

Bobby: Garlic. Keeps ghosts away.

Casey Brown: Garlic keeps everyone away.

Priory: Now Cluny you've already met.

Casey Brown: Yeah, right, I met Cluny.

Priory: Over here, struggling with the churn, is Peter.

Casey Brown: Hi.

Peter: Hello, welcome to Candleshoe.

Priory: This is Anna.

Bobby: [From above] Hey, somebody catch!

[He tosses a jar. Casey catches it]

Peter: Hey, well held!

Priory: [Bobby slides down the column into the kitchen] The acrobatic member of the family is Bobby.

Bobby: Grandmother, now that your real granddaughter is here, does it mean that we'll be sent away?

Lady St. Edmund: Good gracious! If I did that, whom would I find to slide up and down the great hall?

[She kisses the top of his head. He smiles, then takes a running slide down the Great Hall]

Lady St. Edmund: Splendid!

Brad's Mom: Bobby, come and get your supper.

Bobby: [to Kyle] See ya later.

Kyle: Okay, see ya Bob.

Bobby: I'm tired of playing Buried Treasure. Let's play Walk The Plank.

Jezebel Jack: I assure you that game is no fun at all, Jim.

Bobby: Are you a pirate?

Jezebel Jack: No. I'm an adventurer of independent means.

Bobby: [admiring a marble bust] How do ya like this - real marble.

Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Musta taken a lot of marbles to make dat.

Bobby: What's in your dress? What is this?

[he removes tissue from the bust area of Fay's dress]

Fay: It's Bev's dress. It's too big.

Bobby: Oh, sweetie.

Fay: It didn't look right on me.

Bobby: Mr. Byers and I both played terribly. He just ran out of clubs before I did.

Bobby: [from trailer] Life is a comedy written by a sadistic comedy writer.

Phil Stern: Two time Academy Award winner.

Bobby: Wow, congratulations.

Howard: Thank you. You've never heard of me, I'm a writer.

Bobby: That's her?

Don Jon: That's definitely her!

Bobby: She's a dime!

Don Jon: This girl's more than a dime, bro.

Bobby: There's no such thing. There's a scale from 1-10.

Don Jon: I'm just saying...

Bobby: Oh my god, what are you in love with her already?

Danny: Listen, I don't like more than a handful of titty. No, no, no, no, no. No. A nice handful, I love it, but more than that, it's like, no! Shit starts to remind me of my mom or something.

Don Jon: Jesus Christ!

Bobby: Yeah, your mom do got some big-ass titties.

Danny: Don't talk about my mother.

Bobby: You brought up your mother.

Cindy Campbell: I thought you loved me.

Bobby: Oh, I did, baby, I did. But being in abstinence makes you wonder new things about yourself. That's right Cindy, I'm gay. And in case you haven't noticed, so is Ray.

Ray: What? I ain't gay!

Bobby: What are you talking about? You took me to that club.

Ray: So? They play good music.

Bobby: What about our trip to San Francisco?

Ray: I wanted to go shopping.

Bobby: [on the verge of tears] But... you made love to me.

Ray: First of all, you sucked my...

Bobby: Whatever!

[the guys picking up the dead guy's body]

Greg: I'll grab one arm.

Bobby: I'll grab the other arm.

Ray: I'll grab his ass.

Bobby: You hear? Drew got killed last night.

Ray: Wait, she had a brother right, Steve?

Bobby: Yeah.

Ray: Yeah? Long hair, pretty little mouth, perfect ass?

Bobby: Yep, that was her.

Ray: Nah, I'm talking about Steve. Whatever happened to him?

Shorty: Theres blood, guts and asses everywhere, someone's gone all crazy, son!

Bobby: We all go a little crazy sometimes.

[Bobby shoots Shorty in the chest]

Cindy Campbell: Bobby, no!

Shorty: [Lying on the ground] Oh, Cindy he got me in the lung.

[Smoke is coming out of the wound]

Shorty: Wanna hit this shit?

Cindy Campbell: Why are you doing this?

Bobby: Why? Why? You hear that, Ray. I think she wants a motive.

Bobby: Did Scream have a plot?

Ray: No.

Bobby: Did I Know What You Did Last Summer make any sense? Don't think so. And what about the sequel? What the hell was with that fat, white Jamaican kid?

Ray: Oh, I want to kill that motherfucker.

Cindy Campbell: It was bad casting, Bobby.

Cindy Campbell: What's wrong? Bobby, she's gone and she's not coming back.

Bobby: It's been over a year now, Cindy!

Cindy Campbell: But Ginger was such an important part of the Spice Girls.

Bobby: That's very, uh, seventies of you.

Rhonda: Wait up, Sam.

Fiona: You take one more step and you're fired!

Rhonda: Oh, no. That won't be necessary because I quit too. And you know what? The only reason why I stayed around and put up with you for all those years is because of that girl. And now that she's free of you, there is nothing stopping me from kicking your butt.

Fiona: [freaks out] Oh, come on, no. Not my face. It's much newer than the girls. Go for the girls!

Sam: [talks Rhonda out of it] Rhonda? Rhonda! She's not even worth it.

Rhonda: [jumps her face at Fiona] Mmph!

Fiona: [screams] Aaaah!

Rhonda: You're right.

Eleanor: You know what? I quit too.

Bobby: Me too! Hey, Rhonda and Eleanor, hold up. I need a ride. See ya!

[the staff all finally walk out permanently with the customers following suit]

Man with plate of food: [to a disgraced Fiona] Send me a bill.

Bobby: Brennan, you been toking up?

James Brennan: What?

Bobby: You been drinking drugs?

James Brennan: [nervously] No.

Paulette: Your eyes are red. Have you been crying?

James Brennan: Yea, maybe like a little bit.

Bobby: Hey, litterbug! In the clown mouth!

Mike Connell: [watching Lisa P] It's nice when Paulette's got the day off. Put that disco station on.

Bobby: Hey, you know, I'm a one-man woman so...

Mike Connell: Huh?

Bobby: Hmm?

Bobby: Hey honey, I'm running out of googly eyes. Do you have any more over there?

Paulette: Yeah, me too. But I found these.

[holds up eye patches]

Paulette: So I have just been sort of.

Bobby: Oh!

Em Lewin: [enters office] Hey.

Bobby: Hey Em! What's up?

Em Lewin: [punches clock] Uh, I quit! See ya.

[James is commenting a horse game race without much enthusiasm]

James Brennan: Okay, we have a winner. It's the purple horse. Uh... Okay, green's in second, and yellow's third. Congratulations.

[gives a teddy bear to a girl]

James Brennan: Here you go, you can have that.

Bobby: Hey, James?

James Brennan: Yeah?

Bobby: Maybe you could, uh, take it up a notch?

James Brennan: Yeah, I know... Maybe I'm not the right guy to run this game. I really... I think I should probably be on the rides department.

Bobby: Oh, no, no, no. No. You're more of a game guy.

Paulette: Yeah, you're very... you're very gamey.

James Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Bobby: Have you ever seen a horse race before? Have you ever, like, heard one on the radio?

James Brennan: Harness racing or, like, the normal kind?

Paulette: That's a good question.

Bobby: That doesn't really matter. Look, the Kentucky Derby, have you seen the Kentucky Derby? The way they announce it on the radio, and it's really...

Paulette: Yeah, 100, 200, going...

Bobby: That's an auction, sweetie.

Paulette: Right.

Bobby: See, that's the part I don't get, Craig. I mean, you're cool, you're smart, you're talented. You have a family that loves you. You know, what I would do just to be you, for just a day? I would... I would do so much. I would... I don't know. I would just... I'd just live. Like it meant something.

Bobby: I got in.

Craig: In what?

Bobby: In your mama.

Craig: [During a basketball practice in the hospital] How'd you end up in here?

Bobby: Man, you don't give up, do you? I'm on vacation.

Craig: Seriously.

Bobby: I am serious. Some people go to Hamptons. I come here. Get a little R&R. People feed you. I get high sometimes, man.

Craig: That's not what I've heard about you.

Bobby: [sigh] What did you hear?

Craig: [hesitating a bit] I heard you tried to rape a penguin at the zoo.

Bobby: [straightening up] Who told you that?

Bobby: Well, well, well! Still working on it, Cool Craig?

Craig: It's not what you think.

Bobby: I think the two of you were playing the question game outside, that's what I think.

Craig: ...Well, I... guess it is what you think then.

Bobby: I thought so.

Bobby: I don't get wrapped up in a bunch of stuff I can't have.

Johnny: Relax, it's just for fun, bro.

Bobby: That's not fun. That's propaganda, man. All those Madison Avenue types telling you how to live your life. Fast cars, hot chicks... Reese's Pieces... Gucci... Werther's Original. I don't buy into that bullshit!

Bobby: Hey, what's the pot up to now?

Johnny: Eleven.

Bobby: Eleven? Yesterday it was twelve.

Johnny: Humble ate a buck.

Bobby: Humble ate a buck?

Johnny: The professor bet him a dollar he wouldn't eat it. He won.

Bobby: What is the world coming to?

[to Craig]

Bobby: Bunch of nut jobs in here, I'll tell you that.

Craig: What's the money for?

Bobby: Pizza party. So we don't have to eat this crap. They say we can have one, but we have to pay for it ourselves.

Craig: Well, I have eight dollars.

Bobby: [pauses] Well, you don't have to go bragging about it, Craig.

Chuck Phillips: There, the door is locked and the window is secure. We're safer then the First National Bank. There's nothing more we can do tonight, so we might as well get some shut-eye.

Bobby: Shut-eye? Are you kidding me? In this place? Twice that homicidal filly, Sinistra, tried to knock me off, and that blob... he was no fraternity brother either!

Chuck Phillips: The only blob here is in your brain!

Harry Doyle: We're in the top of the 9th inning leading 10-7, bases loaded, two down, and Rick Vaughn has come on to try to nail it down against Felipe Aguilar, a dangerous right-handed batter. Here's the pitch.

[Aguilar crushes it]

Harry Doyle: Aww, shit.

Johnny, Bobby, Vic: [in unison] No! No! No!

Harry Doyle: If that's not Shaquille O'Neal in left, that baby's outta here.

Johnny: [catches the ball in the stands for a home run] NO! You rotten bums! You overpaid weenies! Mild thing, you make my butt sting! I *detest* you! You're all garbage! All of ya! Back up the truck! Back it up!

Bobby: Just think, after this game we'll be going to the World Series.

Johnny: Yeah, in Chicago.

Bobby: You didn't even know my mother and I pity you for that.

Bobby: She had this moment of unbelievable strength 'cause she had love.

Latrell: [picks a piece of lint off of the shoulder of Bobby's suit]

Bobby: Yeah. That's what love does.

April Burns: [discussing old-fashioned turkey shaped salt and pepper shakers that Bobby bought] We had these when I was a kid.

[pause]

April Burns: The one time Joy let me hold them she said, "Be careful, they're worth more than you are."

Bobby: Well, that's terrible.

April Burns: Next year they were gone.

Bobby: So, what happened?

April Burns: A hammer I was holding fell on them.

Bobby: You're that girl, ain't you?

Danielle: Yep, I'm that girl.

Bobby: You know what I heard about you?

Danielle: Don't believe everything you hear. Unless it's really good. Then it's true.

Timmy: If I win this game...

Bobby: We gotta take you to Paris tonight?

Timmy: You don't have to take me to Paris, just Baskin Robbins.

[about Timmy]

Bobby: Man, that kid gets me so mad!

Carl: Yeah, but I think he has a good influence on me. Since he's moved in, the food's gotten much better.

[after learning that he's going Uptown]

Bobby: I'll be damned!

Rafferty: Couldn't you put that another way?

Bobby: I got it covered.

Rafferty: Going somewhere?

Bobby: Yeah, Uptown.

Rafferty: No, you're not.

Bobby: What do you mean, I'm not? I saved his life, didn't I? What am I supposed to do?

Rafferty: Become his friend.

Bobby: You gotta be kidding me.

Rafferty: He needs someone to talk to.

Bobby: Well, buy him a German Shepherd.

Rafferty: He thinks he's worthless.

Bobby: Well, he might be on to something!

Rafferty: It's your job to show him he's not.

Bobby: How am I supposed to do that?

Rafferty: That is up to you!

Bobby: [after seeing Lenny in action] What a spazola! So, who is it? Which one of these lucky cats is my assignment?

Rafferty: The "spazola."

Bobby: A while? A while? There's a fucking Viking in here!

Bobby: Emily, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time... I love you, Emily.

Bobby: Look, Emily, I got to go now, but I'll always be with you.

Bobby: Pretty cool, huh, kid?

Lenny Barnes: Yeah, I'll be the only kid in school with a bullet-proof head.

Bobby: Hey, Good Looking.

Emily Barnes: Bobby?

[faints]

Bobby: Aw, have a heart, Joe! The kid just got laid!

Angela: So, why did you come here?

Bobby: It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. Plus, it would look really good on my resume.

Bobby: Looks like you and me are partners...

Riff: Shut up!

Bobby: Cool, man. Right on.

Bobby: Hi. Bobby Stark. Mind if I join you?

Angela: Sure.

Bobby: Cool.

[sits down]

Bobby: Your name's Maria Nicastro, right?

Angela: How do you remember that?

Bobby: I'm just great with names. That's how I got to be senior class president of my high school.

Angela: That's nice.

Bobby: Yeah. So... you're underprivileged, huh?

Ricky Slade: I don't know why we don't get a drink, sittin' inside this place.

Bobby: Chloe wanted to come here.

Ricky Slade: She doesn't know where the hell she is, Bob. She'd have more fun if we were at Bordner's. She could play the trivia game that she likes or the little racing game thing she does .

Bobby: She's a little girl, little girls don't like going to bars.

Ricky Slade: We had fun. We went to bars when we were kids. Met all the different people. Right? Remember Slimmy?

Salesperson: Excuse me sir, there's no smoking in here.

Ricky Slade: Why, you serving food?

Salesperson: No, it's store policy. And you can't sit at a station without purchasing a ceramic.

Ricky Slade: You believe this shit. I can't sit at a station without purchasing a ceramic. Well, why don't you bring me a ashtray then. Can I color me that, a ceramic ashtray?

Bobby: Asshole-ay.

Ricky Slade: Did you hear that? What do ya think of that? Huh?

Ricky Slade: You wanna bet me that I can't get a gun?

Bobby: You couldn't even get a handjob from the bridge and tunnel posse at the club last night!

Ricky Slade: We need guns.

Bobby: We don't need guns.

Ricky Slade: I'm telling you man, I'm pretty sure we need guns.

Bobby: I listened to them and they specifically said we don't need guns.

Ricky Slade: That's all the more reason why you do need a gun.

Bobby: You couldn't even get a gun.

Ricky Slade: You wanna bet, you wanna bet me if I could get a gun?

Bobby: You couldn't get a handjob from the bridge and tunnel posse.

Ricky Slade: That's because that fuckin' girl had issues with the bathtub and the other thing. Now float me a hundred bucks.

Bobby: For what?

Ricky Slade: You wanna see how fast I can get a gun?

Bobby: What happened to your money?

Ricky Slade: I have it, I have some stuff left.

Bobby: How much?

Ricky Slade: I've got like 80.

Bobby: $80!

Ricky Slade: 80 plus five, I've got five in the room, $85.

Bobby: $85, what happened to the 1500?

Ricky Slade: Well you could have picked up a fuckin' tab once in a while!

Bobby: I picked up half the fuckin' tab!

[Ricky tries to convince Bob they should get a gun]

Ricky Slade: Here's scenario B for you Bob, see how you feel about this one. Now I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but I think I'm starting to get under Ruiz's skin as well, OK? It all started with the whole Red Dragon, or the Welsh guy, whatever, they can play it down all they want but you know 200 grand's a lot of fucking money! It's a fucking lot of money! OK? 200 grand is definitely a lot of fucking money! And now I've got Ruiz calling me fucking Fruit-Pie the fucking magician! Tellin' me that I can't fucking call my main man Max, who fucking sent me out on the fucking operation? And what about the Welsh guy? He's fucking scat all over, they fucking disappear and talk! And you haven't noticed this either but when he's not fucking looking at me or you're fucking doing whatever, I've got fucking Jimmy in the mirror with his shit too. It's fucking coming at me from here, I don't know where it is! It might be coming this way, it might be coming that way, but the fucking shit's coming and I'm not gonna be late for the fucking dance man, I'm not gonna be fucking late for the dance on this one.

Bobby: You're not getting a gun.

Bobby: You're running around like a Puerto Rican on the fifteenth of the month!

Max: [midst of instructions for NY trip] Yes, for expenses and such. Now, you'll be contacted on your pager as to where you should go. You each have been given an extra battery, so there is absolutely no excuse as to why a page would not be immediately returned. Am I making myself abundantly clear?

Bobby: Yeah.

Ricky Slade: Yeah.

Max: You will not carry any other pagers with you. You will not carry anything, for that matter, that I have not just given you.

Ricky Slade: Keys.

Max: What?

Ricky Slade: What about my keys?

Max: You can carry your keys. You will not mention my name or imply that you are in my employ. You will not speak to anyone while you are working. When you are not working, you are considered to be on call and available twenty four hours a day. This means you will not get drunk or do anything that will prevent you from operating in a professional manner. There is already a number in your pager's memory. It is a car service. When they ask you what account, you will respond: 'Cardiff Giant.' They will pick you up and take you anywhere you need to go. In other words, there is no reason why you should not reach any destination that you will be called upon to reach within fifteen minutes. Do you see a pattern forming?

Ricky Slade: Yes.

Bobby: Yes.

Max: What is it?

Bobby: You want

[Max interrupts]

Max: Not you. I want Ricky to answer.

Ricky Slade: I get it.

Max: Tell me.

Ricky Slade: Don't worry. I get it.

Max: So tell me how it is.

Ricky Slade: You want

[stop in mid sentence]

Ricky Slade: why are you picking on.

Max: Because you lost my fucking carpet cleaning van and I don't like you. You cocksucker!

Ricky Slade: [to Jim the Driver]

[rolls window up]

Ricky Slade: Takin' a time out from you, Jimbo.

Bobby: That's not cool.

Ricky Slade: I don't want him fuckin' looking at me all the time.

Bobby: I don't want him to think your fuckin' blowing me.

Ricky Slade: You're so fucking wierd.

Ricky Slade: We're gonna take a break from you Jimmy.

[Rolls up window in limo]

Bobby: Could you not do that?

Ricky Slade: Do what?

Bobby: I don't want him to think that you're blowing me back here.

Ricky Slade: OK, Bob, you knocked the Jew's tooth out, right? That's gonna cost Max 8 grand, maybe more than 8 grand. You probably lost him his whole line of clientele too. Plus, you've been fucking up Jess' dancing. Now I think he knows I sold the fucking carpet van, he's been giving me looks and shit which leads to that, OK? Now he can't kill us in Los Angeles cause there's a lot of questions there right? But all of a sudden he flies us out to New York City to do a drop? We don't know what the fuck the drop is, OK? But if we disappeared out here, there's no fucking questions involved in that. There's no questions if we disappear. LA, questions, drop out here, not a lot of questions!

Bobby: How do you come up with this shit?

Ricky Slade: [getting dropped off at motel by Bobby] Be right up sweetie.

Bobby: Isn't that the wife from the house?

Ricky Slade: You know how I do.

Ricky Slade: Fucking embarrassing - gotta ride around town on a motorcycle with a guy who doesnt have a fucking shirt on.

Bobby: Suck it up.

Bernardo: What is your name?

Bobby: Er, Bobby Ricigliano.

Bernardo: Christ is everyone in this god damned house named Bobby Ricigliano?

Bobby: We're all going to fry for those guards we shot

Ned: Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me you shot the guards Bob.

Bobby: Clovis don't like to be touched.

Bobby: Where's your friend?

Theodore: He better be in another county!

Bobby: We want you to have our gold nugget.

Amos: What gold nugget is that?

Bobby: The one you tried to steal.

Amos: Oh, that gold nugget.

Donovan: [Donovan's been trying all day to pawn the orphans off on someone else] Ah, the lady of the house!

Mrs. Stockley: [drops her empty gin bottle and it shatters] Kids, yick!

Donovan: The children are marvelous about parties. They love parties themselves!

Mrs. Stockley: [to her husband as she drags him back inside and starts to close the door on him] Come on!

Donovan: If you'd just take one small look...

[she slams the door]

Bobby: Who was that?

Donovan: [flatly] That was the president of the garden club.

Bobby: You almost killed my band, that is attempted murder.

Frankie, the Big Kahuna: But what does "we" mean?

Bobby: [impossibly sarcastic] I think it's the plural form, meaning "more than one." Would you like me to conjugate that for you, Pop? Do you know what "conjugate" means, Dad?

Frankie, the Big Kahuna: What does that mean, "we're not in?"

Annette: Wild guess? I think it means they're not in.

Bobby: Boy, it's quite a piece of dialogue when you intellectual masterminds get together! I should be writing this down!

Bobby: [after his dad's overdone sentimentality has induced mass vomiting throughout the plane] This is why we don't travel.

Annette: He'll be back. I know that in my heart.

Bobby: You know, you're awful sweet, Mom.

Annette: And then I'll make him suffer.

[first lines]

Bobby: 45 years ago, my parents were the most popular teenagers in America. It's true. My dad was a teen idol. Girls threw themselves at him. Unfortunately, this was 1962 and he had to throw them back. When Dad wasn't singing he spent his time on a surfboard. They called him The Big Kahuna. When I was born, Dad wanted to call me Little Kahuna. Luckily, he settled for Bobby. As for Mom, she joined that stupid cult club called the Mouseketeers. She became the first pin-up queen for boys under 12. Anyhow, they got married and moved to Ohio right after the accident. Don't get him started on the surf accident. We have this nightly ritual called dinner and the accident story. Let me spare you this... 20 years ago while surfing this huge wave knocked the Kahuna right off his board and he's never been the same since.

Annette: Did you boys have a nice time?

Bobby: We met these really weird looking guys with really bad attitudes and they were incredibly rude and dangerous and they wanted to kill us! It was so cool!

Annette: Well, as long as you had fun.

Bobby: Where's the movie stars? I thought L.A. was supposed to have movie stars, rock and rollers, celebrities.

Annette: Oh honey, that's what all midwesterners think. L.A. is just like any other place.

[Annette goes to pick up her suitcase from the luggage rack when O.J. Simpson appears and takes the suitcase first]

Man at Airport: Excuse me, ma'am but I do believe this is my bag.

Annette: Oh, I'm sorry. Of course it is. My is leatherette and this seems to be...

Man at Airport: Pigskin. Thank you very much.

[runs off]

Bobby: Hey, Mom! Do you know who that was?

Annette: No, honey. Who?

Bobby: What was...

[in the distance Simpson trips and falls into a pile of suitcases]

Bobby: Nah. I guess I was wrong.

Bobby: You're dancing the flamenco to get money. This is not a strong bargaining position.

Bobby: [recalling how a nude take-out waitress with very large buttocks forced herself on him] Yeah, what a piece of ass.

Jack: Yeah? How did she feel?

Bobby: Well, let's just say she was, ah... big. All over.

Jack: Yeah, sure.

Bobby: Really man, I never knew love making could be so, ahem... physical.

Bobby: There ain't a woman around who don't love the sound of a zipper comin' down...

[he barely finishes the line when the nude take-out waitress throws him on the waterbed and forces herself on him by mounting him with her very large buttocks ]

Bobby: [after a take-out waitress praises his van] Hey, you wanna go share a joint on the waterbed?

Take-out waitress: Waterbed? Really? I just love waterbeds.

Bobby: It's right there in the back.

Take-out waitress: I really don't have time for a joint. But I got some time for a...

[signaling a humping motion]

Take-out waitress: quickie.

Bobby: Ah... yeah... sure.

[the take-out waitress steps out from behind the counter, making Bobby gasp upon noticing her very large buttocks on her otherwise thin body]

Dugan Hicks: Well, what are you, chickening out, or we gotta match?

Bobby: Yeah, I gotta match... your face and my ass.

Chuck: The 24th... That's Christmas Eve! Who in ther right minds would be working on Christmas Eve? I'll tell ya who? WE WHO, that's who? Christmas, Thanksgiving, the Super Bowl - Bobby, if it weren't for us, this airline would NEVER get off the ground!

Bobby: [a heavy crate tips over, pinning Bobby beneath it] Ugh!

Chuck: I guess if you want something done right, you got to do it yourself...

[tips the crate to look down at Bobby]

Chuck: Yo, Bob? Break's over!

Bobby: [Chuck drops the crate and it crushes Bobby again] Oooof!

Bobby: I'm gonna shut your ass down!

Everett: We want the combination! Pumpkin seed?

Bobby: No. What combination?

Everett: Don't Fuck with me when I'm thirsty!

Reggie: Marco... good news! The cops found the car and your girlfriend... the BITCH is in JAIL!

Javier: Are you going to visit her in Jail, Marco?

Marco: Fuck off!

JJ: Maybe you can get laid again

Lance: Make sure you get a woman's jail.

Bobby: Why? He could get laid in a men's jail too right?

Reggie: Where's Sean? I'm going to kill that Irish fuck

Mohammed: How did they find the car?

Reggie: Oh this is a good one... She a degenerate gambler drove the car to Vegas... guess what... THE BITCH WON! Ever come to my meetings on time asshole1

Sean: I got a note from my doctor

Reggie: Removed MOTH from right ear! You had a bug living in your head?

Sean: It crawled in there... what's I supposed to do?

Reggie: Go sit next to Marco... He's my NEW genius. Okay, we have to pick up the pace.You guys should be doing a lot better... You're letting too many customers walk. I want to hear some of their excuses. Try and STUMP me... I HAVE AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING. COME ON!

Javier: "I'm just looking"

Reggie: I'm just selling. Can't really look at a car unless you drive it. NEXT.

Ali: "I think I can get a better deal somewhere else"

Reggie: Sir, we all pay the same for cars, nobody can give you a better deal for the cars. COME inside and I'LL SHOW YOU.

Bobby: "This is the first place I've been to"

Reggie: Then You're lucky you came to the best place first!

JJ: "I have to see what kind of Interest rate my credit union can give me"

Reggie: We have a book that lists all the credit unions. I can tell you what your rate and payments will be. COME ON GIVE ME A TOUGH ONE!

Sean: "I have to check with my wife"

Reggie: What's the phone number, we'll call her right now.

Bobby: "I have to look a couple other cars first"

Reggie: Why? Consumer Reports, Car and Driver, Triple AAA... they've looked all the cars for you and they say THIS ONE'S THE BEST!

[first lines]

Bobby: I like it mom, it's cool.

Olive: Yes?

Bobby: It looks like a space ship!

Olive: Definitely. So, are you married, Mr. Uh, I'm sorry, I forgot your name.

Car Salesman: [in back seat] Kessler, Aaron Kessler.

Olive: Oof, Bond. James Bond. Didn't he sound just like it?

Walt: I bet I left a big dent in your car, didn't I?

Bobby: Well, yes, but not as big as the one I'll have in my memory.

Bobby: Are you going to become a doctor?

Olive: Doctor, please, I will be president of the United States, you will see. This is America.

Olive: Once upon a time in a foreign land, there was a young woman who went to America to pursue her dreams.

Bobby: Is this about you, mom?

Olive: Hear me out, okay smarty pants? So, one day this gorgeous girl meets this unbelievably handsome man in Oklahoma, and they fell madly in love. And nine months later they had the most beautify son. He was the most gorgeous little boy she'd ever seen in her life.

Bobby: I know, that's what all the girls in school used to say.

Nosey: My bike! Bring it back. My bike!

Man in the Street 1: Stop, thief! Stop, thief!

Man in the Street 2: Stop, thief!

Man in the Street 1: Stop, thief! Stop, thief!

Bobby: [Blows his whistle]

Nosey: No, no no. It's all right. He's - he's a not a theif. He's a friend of mine.

Bobby: You start yelling "stop, thief" at innocent people...

Nosey: I never did.

Bobby: ...and you'll find yourself in hot water. Now, be off with you. And pull your socks up.

[Libby asks her attorney and friend, if he thinks she murdered her husband]

Libby Parsons: Do you think I killed him?

Bobby: That's the first rule of being a lawyer. What we think doesn't matter.

Libby Parsons: It matters to me.

Bobby: [Cutter lights his cigarette and pauses] No. Of course. I don't think you killed him.

Bobby: It's a number. It's a fucking number. They're all a bunch of fucking numbers.

Bobby: I think I'll go see if the UNSUB's still in the building.

Rafe: Sweetheart, it's just a simulation, yeah?

Bobby: Where we're from, a site search is called procedure. Yeah?

Bobby: [analyzing Girl at Bar] Good evening, my fine young FBI friends. I am a pretty little thing just out of lit class at GMU. Please note the Jimmy Joyce in my Kate Spade. My parents are loaded as per my expensive ensemble and that "J", where is it, on my key ring, means I'm either a "Jill" or a "Jennifer". Those being the favorite "J" names of beltway parents circa 1981. I like to hang with my girlfriends and have a good time but I'm really just a mature woman looking for a mature man.

Bobby: Two hundred and ninety nine million, seven hundred and ninety two thousand, four hundred and fifty eight meters per second. This is the original measurement for light.

Lucas: And you know that?

Bobby: Its the basic principal of physics

Lucas: Along with "shit happens"?

Rafe: Look.

[he sits down next to dummy of boy]

Rafe: It's little Bobby. Little gonna grow up to big and strong and pursue a career in buried children and dismembered mummies. Now that will make happy town proud.

Bobby: I think your in the wrong line of work.

[he walks away]

Rafe: [turning to dummy] No mate. Not me.

Bobby: [to Rafe] The man's calling you a killer. Personally, I think you might want to defend yourself

[Rafe's head breaks off at the neck]

Sara Moore: [shocked] There's no blood. Someone drained his blood.

Jenny: You like Patsy Cline? I just love her. I wonder how come she don't put out no more new records.

Bobby: Because she's dead.

Jenny: Oh... that's sad. Don't that make you sad?

Bobby: I've had time to get over it.

Bobby: See, that's the difference between you and me, and why you live here and I'm just passing through.

Bobby: Darrell, 40,000 thousand people die every day. How come you're not one of 'em?

Bobby: Is everybody fucking everybody in this crazy God damn town?

Bobby: It's not just a car. It's a sixty-four-and-a-half Mustang convertible.

Bobby: Is everyone in this town on drugs?

Bobby: You're just an ignorant, inbred, tumbleweed hick.

Toby N. Tucker: I don't think you know who I am. The name's Toby N. Tucker. People round here call me TNT. You know why?

Bobby: Because they're not very imaginative?

Toby N. Tucker: 'Cause I'm just like dynamite, boy, and when I go off, somebody gets hurt.

Bobby: And a waitress named Flo.

Darrell: You think bad, and bad's what you'll get.

Bobby: That's an interesting philosophy there, Darrell.

Darrell: Yeah. And no charge.

Bobby: I don't know whether to fuck you... or kill you!

Bobby: Listen to me you stupid fuck...

Darrell: No! You listen to me goddamnit! Ya sorry son of a bitch! You owe me money! And this car aint goin' no place 'till I get it!

Bobby: I'm here to get my car back.

Darrell: You got the money?

[Bobby gives him the money]

Darrell: Two hundred dollars in hundred dollar bills, this morning you was flat out broke.

Bobby: That's none of your fucking business.

Darrell: I don't want no dirty money. I run a clean business!

Jake McKenna: [walks in on Bobby and Grace kissing] Grace!

Grace: Jake! I thought you were in Phoenix.

Jake McKenna: Who the hell is this?

Bobby: Who the hell are you?

Jake McKenna: I'm her husband!

Bobby: Husband?

Bobby: [looks at Jake] What about him?

Grace: Let him watch. I want him to know what he's missing.

[last lines]

Bobby: ...Arizona.

Blind Man: I'm about 50% Indian.

Bobby: [Sarcastically] Congratulations.

Grace: You're pretty full of yourself.

Bobby: Yeah, I like that about me.

Bobby: You're a slimy bastard who'd have his wife killed to get his hands on some money.

Jake McKenna: What does that make you?

Bobby: The slimy bastard that's gonna' do it.

Grace: I don't want to go to Mexico, Bobby. I want to stay with you. Don't you think I care about you?

Bobby: I think you're a lying, backstabbing, psycho bitch... and one day you'll kill me. But it's nice to know you care.

Darrell: Ya think bad, then bad's what ya get.

Bobby: That's a pretty decent philosophy you got there.

Darrell: Yeah, well, no charge.

Bobby: You don't know what you're fighting for!

Toby N. Tucker: My honour! That's what I'm fighting for!

Grace: [indicates his two missing fingers] You should be more careful.

Bobby: Yeah I know...

Bobby: [as he walks into the town of Superior for the first time] Just like a town, only uglier.

Bobby: What do you do?

Grace: A little of this, a little of that. Mostly I tell fortunes.

Jake McKenna: What brings you to Superior, Bobby?

Bobby: Car overheated.

Jake McKenna: Darrell taking good care of you, is he?

Bobby: Darrell's dumb as a sack of hammers.

Bobby: There's nothing more life-affirming than getting the shit kicked outta ya'.

Bobby: We played a game you couldn't win... to the utmost.

Janet Stone: [Bobby is asking to go out on a date with Janet] How do I say this Bobby?... NO. First, you ask me out; which you've done. Then, I say no; which I've done. Then you move on, but you keep coming back. You don't keep asking me out.

Bobby: So, at which point does it become sexual harassment?

Bobby: Excuse me. I don't mean to impose, but I am the Ocean.

[pointing a speargun at Danny and Jimmy]

Bobby: Did you bring the plastic men?

Bobby: Listen up man, I'm O.G. Bobby Johnson.

Young Boy: You're killer Bobby Johnson?

Bobby: Jimmie... son... if you hit a man in his face, in time, his wounds will heal. And later on, you can apologize to that man. If you steal his goods, later on, you can return those goods, or you can repay him equal value. But if you kill... there is no later on. There's no way to repair it with that man. There's no way to make it right with him or his family. His life is gone forever. You never come back from that. Ray Ray... that boy you're holding is my son. My son. I told a man in prison that I would save my son's life, even if it took my life. I'm willing to die here today, Ray... for my boy, because I love him that much. Do you love him? All I want is to give him something that you or I never had - a father. You said... out there... that you owed me. All I want is my boy.

[Extends hand out to son]

Bobby: . The court will give you back to me. Then we're going to start this whole thing all over again, and we're going to do it the right way. Okay with you?

[Son nods head]

Bobby: .

Ali: Are you a deuce?

Bobby: No, I am not.

Ali: Can you stand alone like a man has to?

Bobby: Yes.

Bobby: It isn't jail, Jimmie. Don't let him lie to you. Ray Ray is a drug dealer. He hurts people. I don't want to see you die in these streets.

Bobby: Oh, now you going to preach to me, right?

Ali: [Slams elbow against wall] . Yeah, I'm going to preach... and you going to listen!

Bobby: I owe everybody in this joint, and all I did was help my homeboy Loco.

Ali: Helping is costly.

Zip: Figures. We finally get a chick in the band, and she's a lesbian.

Bobby: How do you know?

Zip: I asked her if she wanted go out with me, she said No.

Bobby: Zip, this town's full of chicks who won't go out with you.

Zip: Yeah. Lesbians, all of 'em.

Bobby: Are you stupid?

Bobby: Hey! Where were you for the last hour. I've been looking all over for you.

Laura: I was standing right behind you but you're too dumb to turn around.

Bobby: Silence, village idiot!

Gilbert: Bobby, how's business?

Bobby: Oh, not good... nobody's dying.

Chris: You're gay?

Bobby: No, I got both my nipples pierced and bought a house in Morocco because I'm John fucking Wayne!

Bobby: [Spoken during the credits] After the nuclear holocost, the survivors will crawl out of the rubble, in the dark, light a fire and then one man, The Singer of Songs, will sing, and that's the essence of Rock 'n' Roll.

[Bobby wants plain toast, which isn't on the menu]

Bobby: I'd like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.

Waitress: A #2, chicken salad sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?

Bobby: Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.

Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?

Bobby: I want you to hold it between your knees.

Bobby: [finally talking with his paralyzed father] I don't know if you'd be particularly interested in hearing anything about me. My life, I mean... Most of it doesn't add up to much that I could relate as a way of life that you'd approve of... I'd like to be able to tell you why, but I don't really... I mean, I move around a lot because things tend to get bad when I stay. And I'm looking... for auspicious beginnings, I guess... I'm trying to, you know, imagine your half of this conversation... My feeling is, that if you could talk, we probably wouldn't be talking. That's pretty much how it got to be before... I left... Are you all right? I don't know what to say... Tita suggested that we try to... I don't know. I think that she... seems to feel we've got... some understanding to reach... She totally denies the fact that we were never that comfortable with each other to begin with... The best that I can do, is apologize. We both know that I was never really that good at it, anyway...

[sobbing]

Bobby: I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Bobby: What else do you do?

Catherine: Well, there's fishing, boating, and concerts on the mainland.

[Laughs]

Catherine: I feel funny telling you this. This is really your home. You probably know better than I what there is to do.

Bobby: Nothing.

Catherine: Nothing?

Bobby: Nothing.

Catherine: Well, it must be very boring for you here.

Bobby: That's right.

Catherine: I find that very hard to comprehend. I don't think I've ever been bored. Excuse me.

Bobby: [out of his car during a traffic jam, yelling at other motorists] Ants! Why don't we all line up like a goddamned bunch of ants! Its the most beautiful part of the day!

Bobby: What are you doing screwing around with all this crap?

Catherine: I do not find your language very charming.

Bobby: It isn't. It's direct.

Catherine: I'd like you to leave so that I can take a bath. Is that direct?

Betty: That's a wig you wear, isn't it?

Bobby: Me?

Betty: Yeah, I told her it was you but that you were wearin' a wig because on the TV you're mostly all, uh -

[pats him on the head]

Betty: bald up there!

[laughs]

Bobby: [laughs] Your, your little friend's real, real sharp. Uh, I don't, uh, I don't wear the wig on TV because if you're gonna be out there in front of two and a half million people, you've got to be sincere. I mean, I like to wear it when I'm in bowling alleys and slipping around, stuff like that. I think it gives me a little class. What do you think?

Rayette: That was real good, wasn't it? I finally did it!

Bobby: Great. You throw the big Z's for 19 frames, and then you throw a strike on the last ball of a losing game. Wonderful. Just wonderful.

[Turns around to bowlers at next lane]

Bobby: Isn't that wonderful, ladies?

Twinky: Are you talking to us?

Bobby: Wonderful.

Elton: Well, what if she was, Bob? I can't see nothin' so bad in that. Well, what if I were to let you in on a little secret that she is? That's right. She told me. She's all torn up about it, too, which I hate to see. Well hell, isn't it somethin' you just have to face up to? I tell ya, somewhere along the line, you even get to likin' the whole idea. When Stoney first give me the news, I coulda shit!

[Bobby spits out his food and throws down his food in disgust]

Elton: Well isn't that nice?

Bobby: It's ridiculous. I'm sittin' here listening to some cracker *asshole* lives in a trailer park compare his life to mine. Keep on tellin' me about the good life, Elton, because it makes me puke.

Palm Apodaca: Fantastic that you could figure that all out and lie that down on her so you could come up with a way to get your toast. Fantastic!

Bobby: Yeah, well, I didn't get it, did I?

Palm Apodaca: No, but it was very clever. I would have just punched her out.

Rayette: I'm not.

Bobby: You're just gonna sit here?

Rayette: Yes.

Bobby: Okay. I hope no one hits on you.

Rayette: I hope they do.

Bobby: You keep on talking about the good life, Elton, 'cause it makes me puke.

Samia Glavia: ...It was just what I was trying to point out...

Bobby: [interrupting] Don't sit there pointing at her.

Samia Glavia: I beg your pardon.

Bobby: I said don't point at her, you creep.

Samia Glavia: But I was just telling about...

Bobby: Where do you get the ass to tell anybody anything about class, or who the hell's got it, or what she typifies? You shouldn't even be in the same room with her, you pompous celibate... You're totally full of shit! You're all full of shit.

Bobby: Where are *you* goin'?

Palm Apodaca: Alaska.

Bobby: Alaska. What are you: on vacation?

Terry: She wants to live there 'cause it's cleaner.

Bobby: Cleaner. Cleaner than what?

Palm Apodaca: You don't have to tell everybody about it. Pretty soon they'll all go there and it won't be so clean.

Bobby: What makes you think it's cleaner?

Palm Apodaca: I saw a picture of it. Alaska's very clean. It appeared to look very white to me. Don't you think?

Bobby: Yep. That was before the big thaw.

Palm Apodaca: Before the what?

Palm Apodaca: I had to leave this place because I got depressed seeing all the crap. And the thing is, they're making more crap, you know? They got so many stores and stuff and junk full of crap I can't believe it.

Bobby: Who?

Palm Apodaca: Who? Man, that's who. Pretty soon there won't be any room for man. They're selling more crap that people go and buy than you can imagine. Crap.

Rayette: You love me, Bobby?

Bobby: What do you think?

[they kiss]

Catherine: It's useless.

Bobby: Look, give me a chance.

Catherine: I'm trying to be delicate with you, but you just won't understand. I couldn't go with you. Not just because of Carl and my music, but because of you.

Catherine: You're a strange person, Robert. I mean, what would it come to? If a person has no love for himself, no respect for himself, no love of his friends, family, work, something... How can he ask for love in return? I mean, why should he ask for it?

Bobby: Living here in this rest home/asylum - that's what you want?

Catherine: Yes.

Bobby: That will make you happy?

Catherine: I hope it will. Yes.

Catherine: I'm sorry.

Bobby: I move around a lot, not because I'm looking for anything really, but 'cause I'm getting away from things that get bad if I stay.

Bobby: That's dangerous, you know.

Catherine: Riding?

Bobby: Mm-hmm. You play the piano all day and then jump on a horse, you could get cramps.

Rayette: I'm gonna play it again.

Bobby: You play that thing one more time, I'm gonna melt it down into hairspray.

Rayette: Let me play the other side then.

Bobby: No, Rayette, it's not a question of sides. It's a question of musical integrity.

Catherine: [after hearing Robert play the piano] That was beautiful, Robert, I'm surprised.

Bobby: Thank you.

Catherine: I was really very moved by... What's wrong?

Bobby: Nothing. It's just... I picked the easiest piece that I could think of. I first played it when I was 8-years-old, and I played it better then.

Bobby: You're telling me your favorite cartoon tune's name is Mop Face Circle Shirt?

Jodie Holloway: Nooo.

Bobby: Brushville Soup Jeans?

Jodie Holloway: Nooo, Sponge Bob Square Pants.

Bobby: Oooh, Spoon Lips Boxer Shorts.

Josh: What's the going rate on a bottle of water, Sancho?

Bobby: Got to be some infidelity for sure.

Mickey: Shame we let those bodies go rotten.

Sam: What do you mean?

Mickey: You ever heard about that rugby team that survived the Andes?

Sam: Their plane crashed.

Bobby: They were forced to eat their friends and family. They survived up there for months.

Mickey: They ate everything - ears, toes, assholes.

Bobby: Uh-huh, arms, legs, brains, the spleen. The only thing they didn't eat was the penis. If worse comes to worst, you all have full permission to eat my body. Yeah, you do. But not my penis. Nobody - nobody but nobody eats Bobby's penis.

Bobby: [Bobby's about to chop up two dead bodies] I can do this, man. Yeah, I got this.

Mickey: [walking away, to Josh] But can he live with it?

Bobby: It's blunt.

[repeated line]

Bobby: I was gonna marry you!

[last lines]

Helen: Bobby!

Bobby: Well?

Bobby: I was gonna marry you! You think I'd marry a whore?

Bobby: [to Helen, when he realizes she ratted him out] CUNT! I was gonna marry you!

Bobby: I want you to shape up!

[first lines]

Franny: All I see are bedrooms and nurses stations here.

Bobby: Yeah, well, it's a hospital.

Franny: It's a children's hospital! It needs color.

Bobby: Come on.

Franny: Are we partners?

Bobby: Yeah.

Franny: Are we par... We *are* partners. I understand, and I get the whole thing. Your job is to cure these kids, my job's to make them feel better. We need animal stickers on the windows. We need sailboats hanging from the ceiling. We need fun things...

Mia: He's right. For once.

Bobby: Don't encourage him.

Bobby: I couldn't catch a ball if it had Elmer's Glue on it. And wouldn't my father have to be this big ex-football hero. Well, he was so humiliated, he didn't know what to tell his friends, so he told them all I had Polio. On Father's Day, I used to limp for him.

Bobby: I would always try to find ways to kill myself, but then I realized to commit suicide in Buffalo is redundant.

Bobby: Why do we always expect home to stay the same? Nothing else does.

Bobby: Ted, "my father never bought a drunk a drink". What does that mean exactly?

Ted: It means he was a good man, he was honest, and he never added to the troubles of the world. Okay? Good night.

Bobby: [after beating Harry Doolin with a Baseball bat] That was for the Gerber Baby!

Ted: We're all time's captives, hostages to eternity.

Bobby: Ben Jonson?

Ted: No, Boris Pasternak. He was a Russian of no account, I think.

Bobby: He's coming back, Mike. It's not mom's fault, but he's coming back.

[the King, completely drunk and furious, catches Mike and Bobby watching TV late at night]

The King: [furious] Hey! What are ya doin' up? Go to bed! Go to bed!

The King: [to Bobby] Not you!

Mike: Yeah, but...

The King: [cuts Mike off] Bobby, come here! Mikey, you go to bed. Bobby, you come here!

Mike: But I wanna stay...

The King: [cuts him off again] GO TO BED! Come here, Bobby. Come HERE! Come here.

[the King grabs and pulls Bobby towards him potentially to abuse him; Shane, the family dog, growls whilst Mikey cries]

The King: [yells] What did I tell ya? What did I tell ya? Why don't you listen to me? Why don't ever listen to what I TELL YOU TO DO? GET TO BED, YOU LITTLE SON-OF-A-BITCH!

[a few minutes later, Bobby, in tears, walks into the room]

Bobby: [to Mike] We can't stay up so late anymore.

Bobby: I am thinking about the boys and how they I want them to turn out when they become men.

Bobby: I'm not trying to prove a point. I'm trying to be faithful.

Bobby: If what I've done is a crime, I'm proud to plead guilty.

Bobby: I've seen a lot of drunks in my day, but I never seen anyone as drunk as you and still be able to walk. You're fantastic.

Bobby: Don't be difficult, mother.

May: Why not?

Bobby: Sorry?

May: Why shouldn't I be difficult?

Bobby: [on finding his mother's pornographic drawings] I feel as if I've just had a very hot curry!

May: How did you become so cold?

Bobby: How did you become so hot?

Bobby: Wow guys... I think you met your match.

Andy: Did we just get dissed by the cabana girl?

Sheila: God, you're quick.

Bobby: What are we gonna do? We don't have any proof. We don't have any cards left to play.

Adrien Williams: What do you do if you want to stay in the game, and you've got nothing in your hand?

Kate: You know when I was little, my dad told me that babies grow in trees.

Bobby: My dad told me, I came from his balls.

[first lines]

Bobby: Is today the day?

Kate: I don't know. Maybe.

Bobby: What's your gut tell you?

Kate: That I'm nauseous.

Bobby: How 'bout less literally...

Kate: I'm afraid of deciding.

Bobby: I'm *not* afraid of either scenario, but it's just - I want this to be something we're doing, not something we're not doing.

Kate: What does *this* mean?

Bobby: This, meaning whatever we decide.

Kate: Do I remind you of my mother?

Bobby: Is that a trick question?

Kate: What, you think I... I do?

Bobby: I dunno, I don't want to answer that. I was raised by a single dad.

Bobby: WHY WOULDN'T YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP? YOU JUST NEEDED TO SHUT UP!

Bobby: These are my scars... 'cause our minds will heal, but these scars will never go away. These scars shouldn't be a symbol of shame... they should be worn as a badge of courage.

Bobby: Sidney, look at me. You made a decision. How did that make you feel?

Sidney: Free. He was abusive. I tried to stop it before, but it wasn't until that moment that I really did something. It was him or me and I chose to live. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Simone: That's a bunch of bullshit. He had to die for you to leave him? You know the best thing that happened to me after having to cut off my own arm is handicapped parking at the damn mall!

Ronnie Heflin: I want to make a toast. To my little queen... No matter what happens. Cheer?

Bobby: Cheers.

[as they all toast]

Lisa: [turns to look at Crissy and then back] If that bitch wins... I'll hurl!

Donna: Ok, I'm sorry. Would you just explain to me, why do you care? What do you get? A bouquet of roses and a tacky tiara you can only wear to proms?

Lisa: It's not about what you get. It's like, it's about the honor, you know. It's about the respect of my peers.

Bobby: [laughing with everyone] Are you serious?

Donna: That's the geekiest thing you've ever said.

Lisa: [beat] Ok, 'guess it was a little geeky. But seriously. I just want Crissy to know that she can't buy everything and think about the reunions to come. I win, it'll eat away at her until the day she dies.

Bobby: The girls' team here is for shit.

[he tries to throw the basketball in the hoop and misses]

Jess: Yeah, so's the boys' if you're on it.

Bobby: What are dancers? Hot goods for cold nights.

Dr. Treger: [introducing Neil to the giant child] Bobby, I want you to meet my colleague, Dr. Hamilton.

Bobby: I'd like you to get the fuck outta here!

Dr. Treger: It's all right.

Bobby: Get outta here! Are you deaf? Get outta my room! Get outta here, you bitch, get outta here! Get outta my room!

[last lines]

Bobby: Beth.

Beth: [screams]

[first lines]

Nurse: What's wrong with him?

Bobby: Suicide attempt.

Nurse: Hmm. Who is this guy, anyway?

Bobby: His name is John Lucker. A few years ago, he murdered eight girls. Raped them afterwards. And when I mean afterwards, I mean while some of the corpses were decomposing!

Bobby: Nice ginormous condenser mic.

Sandra: Size matters.

Bobby: [they both laugh] Ooh saucy! I like that. So erm... are you here all by yourself?

Sandra: Yeah just me and my police escort.

Bobby: Oh yeah, you doing a documentary on them?

Sandra: Not exactly.

Sandra: Well what's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?

Sandra: You're gonna have to try again.

Bobby: I'm not a farmer but I would really love to plow your field.

Sandra: [she bursts out in laughter] No, you did not just say that.

Bobby: Yeah, you want more?

Sandra: Yeah.

Bobby: Okay erm.

Sandra: Do better.

Bobby: Did you just get out of the oven? 'Cause you are fucking hot.

Sandra: Er, too cliché.

Bobby: I'll have you know that line totally worked for me in Reno.

Sandra: Well if it wasn't a hooker, it must've been a total mercy fuck.

Bobby: Is there any other kind?

Sandra: Yeah.

Bobby: Magic! That's an option!

Bobby: I really did kill the cats!

Bobby: [singing] No no no no no no no no NO ENTRY!

Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: [Bobby gets thrown out of a psychic office] Did you learn anything?

Bobby: Yeah, I learned I can bounce!

Bobby: Please step out of the vehicle.

Louise: He can't step out of the vehicle, he's in a wheelchair.

Bobby: All of my life, I wanted to do this. Be on this show, in front of this audience, with my theme song. And I thought... once I got here... that I'd be able to start living. But this... this is not living.

Bobby: Lily, don't disappear.

Lily: Why, why, because you're the only one who can disappear? You're in my fucking living room five nights a week, don't talk to me about disappearing!

Bobby: Four nights. We repeated on Monday.

Lily: No, No, I know that because I even watch that. That's how fucking pathetic I am.

Bobby: The show's good.

Lily: The least you can do, if you're gonna leave me... is leave me. You have to become a part of pop culture, in my fucking living room five nights a week!

Bobby: Oh, oh, excuse me! Excuse me for being successful! That's what I did!

Bobby: I'm no artist. I'm a chimp.

Mitchell: Tonight's a big night, you know, going live, without a net... just like Johnny!

Bobby: Johnny got to tape them at four.

Mitchell: Fuck 'em, fuck 'em, he's a dinosaur.

Bobby: My name is Kevin, Mitch. Did you know that?

Mitchell: No. That's great. Thank you for sharing.

Mark: [to Lily] Rosie O'Donnell's gonna crucify him! What an idiot!

Bobby: [Later, to Mitch] All I know is, Rosie O'Donnell's gonna crucify me.

Keith: How's Dick?

Lily: Mark is fine. He says hi.

Bobby: [talking to Cindy] I bet you she's still amazing, like before. I'd really like to be amazed again.

Lily: [overhearing what Bobby said] FUCK YOU!

Bobby: [getting out of jail, being interviewed on the news] Love got me busted, and her name is Lily. Hey Lily!

Bobby: When did you get this new vocabulary?

Lily: When did I get it?

Bobby: Yeah, when did you get it?

Lily: My new attitude? What, what the fuck?

Bobby: You never said things like that, ever.

Lily: I didn't have the opportunity to say it to you, because you left! Do you have any idea what it's like? Do you know what it's like to be in a relationship to live, live with someone, and not be able to tell them that, that guy on channel 7 is your boyfriend? That is your ex-boyfriend? Do you know what that's like? I'm like a fucking spectacle, I'm an idiot, I'm a, I'm a loser!

Bobby: You're not a loser. What're you, what're you...

Lily: Come ON! I did everything for you! I helped you... and loved you!

Bobby: I loved you too!

Lily: I thought you were funny!

Bobby: I AM funny!

Lily: I rearranged my living room furniture so that we could play talk show!

Bobby: Somebody's moving in the bushes! Who's there?

Slip' Mahoney, aka 'Dead-Eye Dan McGurke: It's just Whitey, he's having one of his somnambulism attacks.

Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: No he's not, he's walking in his sleep.

Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: I had a wonderful dream. Louie, you were a free man, and you guys had $5,000, and you Gabe, you had a beautiful girl, and you Slip, you had a pile of gold.

Louie, aka Louie the Lout: I was a free man?

Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Yeah.

Whitey, Chuck, Bobby: And we had $5,000?

Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Yeah.

Gabe, aka The Klondike Kid: And I had a beautiful girl?

Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Yeah.

Slip' Mahoney, aka 'Dead-Eye Dan McGurke: And I had a pile of gold?

Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Yeah, wasn't it a wonderful dream?

Slip' Mahoney, aka 'Dead-Eye Dan McGurke: It sure was.

[hits Sach with his hat]

Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: What was that for?

All: For waking up! Go back to sleep!

Adopter: [an unpleasant prospective adoptive parent solely interested in getting a young boy to do manual labor] Well, I guess you ain't got nuthin' wrong with yuh. Can you cut wood?

Bobby: [taking an immediate dislike for the adopter, he chooses to ridicule him] No! Can you? How often do you take a bath? Do you brush your teeth every morning? Do you know the Lord's Prayer? Do you go to church every Sunday morning?

Adopter: [taking umbrage at the open disrespect] You looka here, young fella...

Bobby: [comtinuimg his tirade] How much s seven times six?

Bobby: [turning to Doris to further mock the adopter] See for yourself! He won't do!

Adopter: [as Bobby runs way, he runs after him in pursuit] Come back here you...!