Bob Alexander Quotes in Dave (1993)

Bob Alexander: What do you think you're doing?

Dave: What? Oh, you mean the press conference. I had a couple of ideas that I wanted to share with the country.

Bob Alexander: Share? Share? You don't call a press conference. I call a press conference. You're nothing. Do you understand? You're nobody.

Dave: I'm not nobody.

Bob Alexander: You're LINT! You're a FLEA! You're a BLIP!

Dave: Well... maybe I am. But you're fired.

Dave: [after reciting Bob Alexander's charges against him] Okay, let's get right to the guts of it: every one of these accusations is absolutely true.

[a sensation passes through the House. Cut to Bob's home, as he and his supporters are watching this on TV; several of them clap him on the back]

Bob Alexander: HO, HO, HO! Die, you pond scum!

Dave: I'm the President, and as they say, the buck stops here. So I take full responsibility for each one of my illegal actions. But that's not the whole story. I think the American people are entitled to the real truth.

[opens his briefcase]

Dave: I have here evidence in the form of notes, letters, and written memoranda, proving that Bob Alexander was involved in each of these illegal acts, and in most cases planned them as well.

[Cut to Bob's house, where a murmur passes through Bob's supporters, and some of them head for the door]

Bob Alexander: Alan.

Dave: Now, allegations of wrongdoing have also been made against Vice President Nance. Now, as this evidence will prove, at no time and in no way was the Vice President involved in any of this affair. Bob just made all that up. Vice President Nance is a good and decent public servant, and I want to apologize for any pain that this has caused him or his family.

[Dave turns and offers his hand. Nance stands and takes it. As they shake, the House applauds. Cut to Bob's home, now empty except for him, as he watches the TV]

Bob Alexander: I'm going to kill him.

Alan Reed: You can't kill a President.

Bob Alexander: He's not a President. He's an ordinary person. I can kill an ordinary person.

Alan Reed: Bob!

Bob Alexander: I can kill a hundred ordinary people!

Alan Reed: Bob, at some point we're gonna have to call the Vice President.

Bob Alexander: Don't call the Vice President.

Alan Reed: What?

Bob Alexander: Just don't call him, Al.

Alan Reed: The guy's in a coma, Bob!

Bob Alexander: I don't give a shit.

Alan Reed: Bob!

Bob Alexander: This is mine, Alan. All mine. I made him, I built him. And no Boy Scout is going to come in here and take it away from me, just because he happens to be Vice President of the United States.

Ellen Mitchell: [first encounter and public appearance] Don't you have anything else you want to say to me?

[repeated line]

Dave: Thank you for doing this, Ellen.

Ellen Mitchell: Go to hell, Bill!

[exits]

Dave: She hates me!

Bob Alexander, Alan Reed: YES!

Alan Reed: [trying to convince Dave to take the job] Imagine that the entire United States of America is in the car.

Dave: In the car?

Alan Reed: In the car!

Bob Alexander: And you've got to get it to the hospital.

[on the balcony, being fed lines by Bob and Al, they try to tell him to leave]

Alan Reed: Go!

Bob Alexander: Go, go!

Dave: [raises a fist] Go, go, go!

[the reporters look confused]