Blade Quotes in Blade II (2002)

Blade: [pulling the pin out of a UV grenade] You obviously do not know who you are *fucking* with!

Blade: [noticing vampire tattoo] You're human.

Kounen: Barely. I'm a lawyer.

Reinhardt: [after Blade beats an entire squad] Hmm. Well, like my daddy said right before he killed my mom, "Want anything done right, you gotta do it yourself."

[he unsheathes Blade's sword]

Reinhardt: He also said...

[he suddenly lunges with the sword. Blade traps it between his hands]

Blade: Can you blush?

[disarms Reinhardt, catches the sword, and slices Reinhardt in half]

Reinhardt: Hey, uh, me and the gang were wondering...

[whispers something with his hand covering his mouth]

Blade: What was that?

[Reinhardt removes his hand and leans in]

Reinhardt: Can you blush?

[as Whistler tries to join Blade in entering the House of Pain]

Whistler: Let's go.

Chupa: You won't pass for one of us. No way.

Whistler: Like I give a shit.

Blade: No, he's right. Why don't you post up on the roof over there? Cover our backs.

Whistler: So the Bloodpack's callin' the shots now, huh? Great.

Reinhardt: Better curb that dog of yours or we'll do it for you.

[Blade arms the bomb. Reinhardt freezes]

Blade: Keep pushing, asshole.

[disarms bomb]

Scud: So B-man, what do you think?

Blade: Sounds like a plan.

Whistler: What do you really think?

Blade: They're gonna fuck us the first chance they get.

[after Reinhardt taunts him]

Blade: Oh, I get it. I see now. You've been training for two years to take me out, and now here I am. Whew!

[shivers]

Blade: Ooh, so exciting, isn't it?

Eli Damaskinos: It has been said, "Be proud of your enemy and enjoy his success." In that regard, I should thank you.

Blade: For what?

Kounen: Eliminating Deacon Frost. You did us a favor.

Blade: There's an old saying: Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer.

[last lines: Rush goes into a viewing booth at a strip joint, but the door goes up to show Blade standing there]

Blade: Well, you didn't think I forgot about you, did you?

[stabs his sword through the plexiglass and into Rush's head]

[Priest has been bitten by Reapers, and is screaming to the highest corners of Hell]

Blade: How long since he's been bitten?

Asad: About twenty minutes.

Chupa: His skin is fucking burning!

Blade: He's already starting to change.

Reinhardt: [Priest keeps screaming] Will someone just shut him the fuck up?

[Chupa puts his gun to Priest's chest]

Priest: [in vampire language] Kill me now, Chupa!

Chupa: [in vampire language] A man without fear...

[shoots him six times through the chest but it doesn't kill him]

Asad: Hold on. Hold him, Chupa!

Reinhardt: Come on, man, just put him out of his fucking misery!

[Snowman pulls his sword]

Nyssa: Don't you get it? You can't finish him that way!

[Snowman tosses his sword to Reinhardt who cuts off the top of Priest's head, without effect]

Blade: Move.

[the Bloodpack moves. Blade shoots holes in the wall, letting in beams of sunlight]

Reinhardt: Back off!

[Priest's body burns]

[after Blade goads Reinhardt, Reinhardt attacks him. Blade seizes him in an armlock, then plants a miniature explosive device onto the back of his head]

Blade: Now you got an explosive device stuck to the back of your head. Silver Nitrate.

[to the Bloodpack]

Blade: Rigged to go off if anybody tampers with it. I'll have the detonator with me.

[to Reinhardt]

Blade: And you, if you so much as look at me wrong...

[wrenches his arm]

Reinhardt: AH!

Blade: Whew!

[to the Bloodpack]

Blade: From now on, we work as a unit.

Chupa: Let me ask one question... how the hell we gonna find these Reapers?

Blade: We won't have to. They'll come to us.

[Nyssa throws Chupa a spray bottle, looking at it he accidentally sprays some in his face]

Chupa: [coughs] What is this shit?

Nyssa: Pheromones, harvested from the Reapers adrenal glands. They're gonna key to it.

Reinhardt: They want us to spray on some suckpuppy's nut juice?

Blade: How do you feel?

Whistler: Like hammered shit.

Whistler: How'd you find me?

Blade: Started out in Moscow then Romania. They kept moving you around.

Whistler: How long was I gone? Months?

Blade: Too long.

Whistler: [to himself] Years.

Blade: We'll play along for now. They'll take us in deeper than we've ever been. Get a chance to see how their world really ticks.

Whistler: I had enough of their world. They're just shitting bricks just because they're no longer top of the food chain.

Blade: [after rescuing Whistler] If there's anything left of you in there, Whistler, listen up. In the morning those blinds are going to open. Whether you're cured or not.

Cage: While you're at it, why don't you call my agent?

Blade: Do I look like your secretary?

Blade: Where the hell are we?

Cage: Do I look like your travel agent?

Liu Kang: Where are you taking us?

Johnny Cage: Kitana went this way...

[sniffs the air]

Johnny Cage: I can smell her perfume.

Blade: I don't smell anything.

[Johnny leads them back into the dinner hall]

Blade: I smell something...

[looks at Johnny]

Blade: Bullshit!

Blade: Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill.

Blade: [to Karen] You better wake up. The world you live in is just a sugar-coated topping! There is another world beneath it: the real world. And if you wanna survive it, you better learn to PULL THE TRIGGER!

Blade: [after being shot by hospital security] Mother fucker! Are you out of your damn mind?

Blade: There are worse things out tonight than vampires.

Dr. Karen Jenson: Like what?

Blade: Like me.

Blade: OK, Vampire Anatomy 101, crosses and holy water don't do dick so forget what you've seen in the movies. You use a wooden stake, silver or sunlight to kill them. You know how to use one of these?

[hands her a gun]

Dr. Karen Jenson: No, but I'll damn sure learn quick.

Blade: Safety's off, round's already chambered. Silver hollow-point bullets filled with garlic. You aim for the head or the heart. Anything else, its your ass.

Pearl: [in vampire tongue] La Magra is coming! The Spirits of the Twelve will awaken the Blood God!

[in English]

Pearl: And there is nothing you can do about it, Daywalker!

Blade: Is that so?

Pearl: Well, that's what Frost says.

Dr. Karen Jenson: You have a lot of love for him, don't you?

Blade: We have a good arrangement. He makes the weapons. I use them.

[Whistler hands Blade a UV flashlight]

Blade: Still heavy.

Whistler: But, you're so big.

Blade: You give Frost a message from me. You tell him it's open season on all suckheads.

Dr. Karen Jenson: Oh, great. Now you're robbing him. You gonna rob me, too?

Blade: How do you think that we fund this organization, huh? We're not exactly the March of Dimes.

Dr. Karen Jenson: You're one of them, aren't you?

Blade: No, I'm something else.

Whistler: Frost is trying to trigger a fuckin' vampire apocalypse. There's some kind of vampire God he's trying to resurrect.

Blade: La Magra.

Whistler: You're the key. He needs your blood. The blood of the day walker. You're the chosen one.

Deacon Frost: How you doing, chief?

[Blade reaches for his gun]

Deacon Frost: Easy.

[pulls in a little girl closer to him]

Deacon Frost: Wouldn't want our little friend here to wind up in the back of a milk carton now, would we? It's nice to finally meet you, man. Had my eye on you for years. I know all about you. Your serum, Whistler. Everything.

Blade: [amused] Sunblock.

Deacon Frost: Hey, it's a start, right? The goal, of course, is to be like you - the Daywalker! You got the best of both worlds, don't you? All our strengths... none of our weaknesses.

Blade: Well, maybe I don't see it that way.

Deacon Frost: Oh, so it's back to pretending we're human again? C'mon... spare me the Uncle Tom routine, okay? You can't keep denying what you are, man. You think the humans will ever accept a half-breed like you? They can't. They're afraid of you. And they should be. You're an animal, you're a fuckin' maniac! Look at 'em. They're cattle; pieces of meat. What difference does it make how their world ends? Plague... war... famine. Morality doesn't even enter into it. We're just a function of natural selection, man. The new race.

Blade: Looks like your mascara's running.

Deacon Frost: [wipes a bit of sunblock from his face] I'm offering you a truce. I want you with us.

Blade: What... do you think I'm stupid?

[in vampire language]

Blade: "The Spirits of the Twelve will awaken La Magra."

Deacon Frost: You're familiar with the Blood God.

Blade: Frost... you're nothing to me but another dead vampire.

Deacon Frost: You're an idiot, you know that? I came down here offering you an easy way out and you spit it right back in my fuckin' face!

[Blade reaches for his gun again; Frost picks up the little girl by the chin]

Deacon Frost: Careful!

Blade: What do I care? They're nothing but cattle... just like you said.

Deacon Frost: If you wanna take the hard road, be my guest, pal. But I promise you by the time this is over, you're gonna wish they never cut you from your mother's...

[Blade shoots and misses Frost as he throws the little girl and runs]

Pearl: Is that you? He's here! He's here!

Blade: This must be Pearl. The record keeper.

Dr. Karen Jenson: Wait a minute! I'm coming with you.

Blade: You're useless.

Quinn: Oh, lookie here.

[he removes a silver stake from Blade's holster]

Quinn: Silver. Nice craftsman ship, huh? Probably cost you a pretty penny. Now this here is a man who takes his job just a little too seriously, don't you think? Come to think of it, Blade, I owe you one.

[he stabs the stake into Blade's shoulder]

Quinn: Actually, if you want to get technical, Blade...

[lifts another stake]

Quinn: I owe you two.

[Blade starts laughing]

Quinn: Oh, what's so funny, bright eyes?

Blade: I'm expecting company.

[Quinn looks closer, and sees the radio piece in Blade's ear, which is chattering. The wall explodes behind them]

Whistler: Catch you fuckers at a bad time?

Vanessa Brooks: [after losing in a fight with Blade] Eric, I'm you mother. You wouldn't hurt your mother would you? Come here.

[pulls Blade in for a hug]

Blade: [whispers in her ear] I must release you.

Vanessa Brooks: [Blade stabs her with the bone] Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

Blade: [Jumps from the top floor of the temple] FFFRRROOOOOOSSST!

Deacon Frost: Kill him.

Dr. Karen Jenson: I need to get back to the lab, if I'm going to cure you.

Blade: It's not over. You keep your cure. There's still a war going on, and I have a job to do. You wanna help, make me a better serum.

Blade: We're gonna play a little game of twenty questions. Depending on how you answer, you may walk out of here with a tan?

[points at the computer screen]

Blade: What's *that*?

Pearl: Oh, that? Oh, it's nothing, it's routine research, heh, heh... Actually, it's a video game.

[Blade snaps his fingers. Karen shines the UV lamp on Pearl, searing his flesh. Pearl screams, then Karen shuts it off]

Blade: That musta hurt.

Pearl: It's a fragment! A piece of the prophecy!

Pearl: What prophecy?

Pearl: Oh, I'm not really sure. There's so many out...

[Karen, without being asked, fries him again]

Blade: You see the valets over there? They're vampires. So's the doorman... and the whore on the corner.

Dr. Karen Jenson: How can you tell?

Blade: By the way they move. The way they smell.

[Karen sprays Officer Krieger with garlic mace when he's about to shoot her]

Officer Krieger: Ugh! What is this? Garlic?

Dr. Karen Jenson: Yeah, well he said it would work against vampires.

Officer Krieger: Vampires? Who said I was a vampire?

[Blade suddenly appears behind Officer Kreiger and knocks him to the floor]

Blade: Nobody.

Officer Krieger: Go fuck yourself!

Blade: [draws his gun] Fuck me? No, you fuck this!

Frost: I hear you been looking for me. I'm flattered.

Blade: It'll pass.

Blade: [to Frost] I promise you, you'll be dead by dawn.

[last lines]

Blade: [in Moscow, speaking Russian] Catch you at a bad time... comrade?

[Blade pins Quinn to the wall with his silver spikes]

Blade: Quinn. I'm gettin' a little tired of choppin' you up. Thought I might try fire for a change.

Dr. Karen Jenson: You used me as bait?

Blade: Get over it.

Dr. Karen Jenson: You been listening in the whole time?

Blade: Keeping radio contact.

Whistler: Think I'd let him run loose without a chaperon?

Deacon Frost: Kill him.

Quinn: Wait. I oh you man. I got two new hands, and I don't know which one to kill you with.

[lunges forward with a dagger in hand]

Blade: [Blade pulls out razor wire, and cut's off Quinn's head. he plucks his own sunglasses out of the air and slides them on] Rawr.

Blade: [Jumps from the top floor of the Temple of Eternal Night, and shouts] FFFRRROOOOOOSSST!

Deacon Frost: Kill him.

Dr. Karen Jenson: So, am I a prisoner here?

Whistler: Not at all. We just had to take certain precautions before we let you go. You got to understand, they're everwhere. Vampires. A Hominus Nocturna. We hunt them you see, moving from one city to the next, tracking their migrations. They're hard to kill. They tend to regenerate.

Dr. Karen Jenson: And I'm supposed to believe all this?

Blade: Well, you already met Mr. Crispy at the hospital. What do you think?

Blade: Remember what we told you. You keep your eyes open. They're everywhere.

Dr. Karen Jenson: Isn't this just a little high-tech?

Blade: They've got their claws into everything - politics, finance, real estate. They already own half of downtown.

Blade: I'm not human.

Dr. Karen Jenson: You look human to me.

Blade: Humans don't drink blood.

Dr. Karen Jenson: That was a long time abo. Maybe you should let that go?

Blade: I have spent my whole life lookin' for that thing that killed my mother, and made me what I am. And every time I take one of those monsters out, I get a little piece of that life back. So don't you tell me about forgetting.

Skeletor: You are all aware of the penalty for failure.

Blade: Give me one more chance, Lord Skeletor, and we will succeed.

Skeletor: I am not in a giving vein this day.

[incinerates Sauron; Beastman grabs his feet, begging for his life]

Skeletor: GET AWAY!

Karg: He begs your forgiveness as do we all. We live only to serve you.

Blade: [sword-fighting with He-Man] I've waited a long time for this!

Blade: Now, what's behind Door Number One?

Chief Martin Vreede: I can't tell you. They-they'll kill me.

Blade: Kill you? Motherfucker, I'll kill you! I'll just enjoy it better.

Dracula: Blade, ready to die?

Blade: I was born ready motherfucker!

Dracula: Motherfucker... I like that.

Dr. Edgar Vance: Do you know what day it is?

[Blade declines to answer]

Dr. Edgar Vance: How 'bout the president? You know who that is. Who's in the White House, right now?

Blade: An asshole.

Hannibal King: We call ourselves the Nightstalkers.

Blade: Hmm. Sounds like rejects from a Saturday morning cartoon.

Hannibal King: Well, we were gonna go with the Care Bears, but, uh, that was taken.

Blade: What the hell makes you think you know about huntin' vampires?

Hannibal King: Well, here's for starters.

[shows Vampire tattoo]

Hannibal King: I used to be one.

[puts shirt down]

Hannibal King: Do I pass the audition?

Dex: Consider us your reinforcements.

Blade: What? You amateurs are supposed to be helping me? You? Look at you. You're kids. You're not ready to roll with this. I mean, look at the way you're dressed. What, that's supposed to be tactical?

[about Hannibal's name tag]

Blade: What is this? What is that? "Fuck you." It's a joke, huh? What the fuck is wrong with y'all? You think this is a joke? You think this is a fucking sit-com?

Hannibal King: Okay, first off, that's just rude. Second, I'm pretty sure we saved your ass back there.

Hannibal King: Welcome to the honeycomb hideout.

Blade: How do you bankroll this operation?

Hannibal King: I date a lot of older men.

Zoe: [watching Blade inhaling his serum] Why do you do that?

Blade: Because there's something bad inside of me. This keeps it from getting out.

Zoe: Why can't you just be nice?

Blade: Because the world isn't nice.

Hannibal King: Let's face it, we are fighting a losing battle here. So we kill a few hundred of them a year, big deal. There are thousands of them out there, maybe tens of thousands. We need a new tactic.

Blade: Like what?

Sommerfield: A biological weapon. For you sighted people, here's a little show-and-tell.

[after Blade stakes Gedge who he believes is a vampire]

Blade: Staked you with silver. Why aren't you ash?

Gedge: Why aren't you smarter? Not a vampire, dumb shit! Set your sorry ass up.

[Gedge takes off fake vampire teeth]

Blade: Damn.

Blade: [to Chief Martin Vreede] Go. You've got 20 seconds.

[Vreede runs off]

Blade: [Blade waits 3 seconds] 20!

[he shoots him]

Abraham Whistler: Congratulations, you're famous. Somebody nailed us. Faces all over the papers, televisions. Media's eating it up.

Blade: Like I care.

Abraham Whistler: Well, you should. Somethin' like this, takin' out a human, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, you're public enemy #1.

Blade: Didn't notice it was a popularity contest.

Ray Cumberland: Say, how many people have you killed, Blade? Thirty? Forty? Fifty?

Blade: One thousand, one hundred and eighty two. But they were all familiars.

Blade: You're not immortal. I musta heard hundreds of you rodents make the same claim. Each one of them has tasted the end of my sword.

Dracula: Perhaps I will too, then. But I think it is more likely the next time we meet, you fall before *mine*.

Blade: [on Dracula] So the movies are true.

Hannibal King: Ha! The movies are just a comforting fairy-tale compared to the real deal. Bram Stoker, he wrote a good yarn. But the events that he described back in 1897, God, that was just a tiny piece of the mosaic.

[showing Blade and Abbie the blood-farming facility]

Chief Martin Vreede: They decided that hunting humans on a piece-meal basis was too inefficient. Why kill your prey when you can keep them alive? Under optimal conditions a donor can generate anywhere from fifty to a hundred pints of blood a year.

Abigail Whistler: But where did you get all these people?

Chief Martin Vreede: The streets. In any given year you've got two to three million homeless people wandering around America. No one cares about them. We're doing the country a service, really.

Blade: [applauds sarcastically] The vampire Final Solution.

Abigail Whistler: Are they aware? Do they feel anything?

Chief Martin Vreede: They're in a chemically-induced coma. They're brain dead, vegetables.

[Blade seizes Vreede by the collar and slams his face into one of the cells]

Blade: Look at this! Is this the future you want? You think there's a place for *you* in their future?

Chief Martin Vreede: We don't have a choice! They're going to win. Can't you see that? He's come back! There's nothing stopping them now.

Blade: [in Vreede's face] There's me.

[while Blade is restrained, Vance injects him with a sedative]

Dr. Edgar Vance: You don't have a problem with needles, do you? There! That wasn't so bad, was it?

[he leans closer, and Blade hears him through a haze]

Dr. Edgar Vance: Oh, you're weak. In need of your serum. That must be a bad feeling. I mean, that a mere human like me could have over-powered you?

Blade: [realizes] You're one of them. A familiar.

[Vance shows Blade a glyph tattoo on his wrist]

Dr. Edgar Vance: Going on five years now. It's the endgame, Blade. All their plans are coming to fruition. Why don't you just sit back, and enjoy the show?

Blade: [Blade is bobbing Hoop up and down over the edge of a building] Eventually, you know, your head is gonna pop off.

Hoop: Fuck, no, no! Please, please, please!

Blade: Who's your handler?

Hoop: I don't know my fucking handler! I swear, I swear!

[Blade loosens his grip]

Hoop: Oh, shit! Please! Please!

[a cell phone rings. Blade looks at Abbie and Hannibal, who shrug, then down at the familiar]

Blade: Oh, it's you! I'll take that. Come on! Let's go, come on!

[Hoop hands his cell to Blade]

Dr. Edgar Vance: Hello? Hello? Hello, this is Dr. Vance. You paged me?

Blade: [chuckles] It's for you. Yeah, go ahead.

[Blade hands the phone back. Hoop puts it to his ear]

Hoop: Hello...?

[Blade lets go]

Hoop: Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

[thud]

[after the vampires' attack on the Nightstalkers' hideout]

Blade: Are you all right?

Abigail Whistler: Yeah. I'll be fine.

Blade: Don't let it turn inward.

Abigail Whistler: Ever since I can remember, I've had this - I've had this knife of sadness in my heart. And as long as it's there, you know, I'm-I'm strong, and I'm-I'm untouchable. But the moment that I take it out... I'll just die.

[Blade crashes through the window, surprising Steranko and Ilsa]

Blade: Steranko.

Augustus Steranko: Mr. Blade, I suggest you leave before you start an international incident.

Blade: You mean like the one you're planning?

Ilsa Grunt: If this is a business call, you'll need an appointment.

Blade: Maybe next time.

Ilsa Grunt: There will BE no next time!

[Buck is pointing a shotgun at Blade]

Blade: [points to his head] If you're gonna shoot me... it better be here.

Blade: [points to his heart] Or here. Anyplace else, asshole, and I will kill you slowly.

Blade: You made a big mistake, Matthews. Never scratch dry shit!

Razor: This *is* a payphone.

Blade: Don't ask.

Blade: The rodeo clown is the most DANGEROUS job, 'cause he gets CLOSEST to the BULL. He gets the BEST of the BULL! HOOK to the left! HOOK to the right! And if the bull rider's in trouble, he's gotta protect him, even if it means gettin' his ribs pulled out, or bein' freight-trained...

Harry Monroe: Freight-trained?

Blade: Run over, just like a freight train, only with a bull, it's worse, cause a freight train don't BACK UP and FINISH the JOB. Later on I'll show you how to lie out on the stretcher when the ambulance comes.

Blade: Now every bull has a secret word that makes him crazy, and sends him into his craziest ride, Your job is to figure out that word.

Harry Monroe: Bull... uh... let's see. Uh... rumplestiltskin. Uh... malt liquor... come on bull.

[whistles and makes kissing noises]

Harry Monroe: Come on, bull. Uh... woof, woof! Uh...

[makes clicking sound with tongue]

Harry Monroe: ... hey sexy... hee-hee... shit!

[Bull bellows and charges at Harry]

Harry Monroe: [Running away from bull] Oh, you mother-fucker!

Blade: Congratulations, you found the word!

Blade: He'll snot on ya, he'll fart on ya... he'll do anything he can to smash your brains out.

[Blade is trying to teach Duncan how to talk slang]

Duncan: Did you hear me? I said that was stupid.

Blade: Did you hear me? I said, "Thanks."

Duncan: Are you deaf?

Blade: [misunderstood as "def"] Man, I'm the defest brotha on this block!

Duncan: YOU'RE deaf?

Blade: [still misunderstood as "def"] That's right.

Duncan: [turns head] I think Blade Brown is the biggest asshole on the planet.

[Blade smacks Duncan upside the head]

Duncan: Hey! You're not deaf!

Blade: See, the way I look at it is if you gonna be Blade Brown, you gotta know where Blade Brown comes from, you know what I'm sayin'?

Duncan: I thought you crawled out from under a rock.

Blade's Mother: What is that?

Blade: What?

Blade's Mother: That.

Blade: What?

Blade's Mother: That?

Blade: What?

Blade's Mother: That!

Blade: It's a flower!

Blade: [Blade pulls off his gold tooth cap] Here, take this.

Duncan: That's not hygienic!

Blade: I'll give you hygienic! Take it!

Duncan: [Duncan puts gold tooth cap on] Oh yeah, fits like a charm.

Blade: Only one more thing we got to take care of.

Duncan: What's that?

Blade: [Blade points to Duncan's hair] That.

Duncan's Dad: Blade? That's your name?

Blade: Dad? Is that yours?

Duncan: Excuse me!

Blade: I said I'm sorry.

Duncan: Oh. That's what I thought you said.