Bill Murray Quotes in Zombieland (2009)

Bill Murray: [dying] Is that you say hello where you come from?

Columbus: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I can't believe I shot Bill Murray.

Tallahassee: Mr. Murray?

Bill Murray: I'm just Bill, I think, now.

Tallahassee: Bill?

Bill Murray: Yeah?

Tallahassee: [pokes at Bill's wound] I don't think we're gonna be able to stitch this.

Bill Murray: Ah. That's still tender.

Tallahassee: You think you might pull through?

Bill Murray: No.

Columbus: If it means anything now, I am so sorry. It was just instinctive.

Bill Murray: It was my bad. I was never a very good practical joker.

Little Rock: So do you have any regrets?

Bill Murray: "Garfield," maybe.

Tallahassee: Bill Murray, you're a zombie?

[Wichita hits Bill in his back with a golf club]

Bill Murray: [cries in pain] Ow, I'm on fire! Ouch!

Tallahassee: You're not a zombie, you're talking and... You're okay?

Bill Murray: The hell I am.

Wichita: I'm sorry. I didn't know it was... It was "you" you.

Tallahassee: Are you...? What's with the get-up?

Bill Murray: Oh, I do it to blend in. You know. Zombies don't mess with other zombies. Buddy of mine, makeup guy, he showed me how to do this. Corn starch. You know, some berries, a little licorice for the ladies. Suits my lifestyle, you know. I like to get out and do stuff. Just played nine holes on the Riviera. Just walked on. Nobody there.

Bill Murray: You are staring at me. It's a hairpiece! It's a piece.

Wichita: It's - I'm sorry. No, it's just that you look remarkably like Eddie Van Halen.

Bill Murray: I just saw Eddie Van Halen.

Wichita: Nuh-uh.

Tallahassee: Really?

Bill Murray: Yeah.

Wichita: Wow.

Tallahassee: Where?

Bill Murray: The Hollywood Bowl.

Tallahassee: And how was he?

Bill Murray: He's a zombie.

Wichita: Aw. Tough break.

Bill Murray: [last line, after end credits] In the immortal words of Jean-Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, Gopher.'

Bill Murray: It's 'cause I'm white, isn't it?

Michael Jordan: No. Larry's white, so what?

Bill Murray: Larry's not white. Larry's clear.

Daffy: Just how did you get here, anyway?

Bill Murray: Producer's a friend of mine. He sent a Teamster to drop me off.

Daffy: Aha. Well, that's the way it goes.

Bill Murray: Larry, I'm gonna give us both twos back there. We weren't in any emotional state to putt.

[Stan prepares to take a picture of Michael after the hole in one]

Stan Podalak: Let me get a picture of this. All right, here we go, you want to smile. You reach in, you reach in for the ball and then you smile. OK?

Michael Jordan: Yes.

Stan Podalak: And you think this is good.

Michael Jordan: Just take the picture!

Stan Podalak: All right.

[a rope comes out of the hole and pulls Michael in]

Bill Murray: [after a pause] What kind of camera is that?

Stan Podalak: It's just a

Bill Murray: [interrupts] Would you not point it at me please and close the lens cap?

Stan Podalak: I didn't do anything! I just took...

Larry Bird: Where'd he go?

[last lines]

Larry Bird: What's the matter, Bill?

Bill Murray: [after seeing Michael's fancy return to the NBA] Larry, that could have been me.

Larry Bird: Would you get over it? It's over. It's done with. You can't play.

Bill Murray: Okay.

[voice breaking with emotion]

Bill Murray: Let's go, Bulls!

Bill Murray: Okay, here's how I see it. Duck?

Daffy Duck: Yes.

Bill Murray: You kick it in to the girl bunny. Down in the post. Then you dish it back out to the guy bunny.

Lola Bunny: Got it.

Bill Murray: Swing it around to Mike, over here. You go to the hole and dominate!

Michael Jordan: Bill! We're on defense!

Bill Murray: Whoa ho ho! I don't play defense. Okay, you're gonna have to listen to Mike on this guys, listen up.

Michael Jordan: Okay, somebody steal the ball, give it to me, and I'll score before time runs out.

Bill Murray: Don't lose that confidence, okay, paws and wings in here, all right!

Bill Murray: It is alive!

Daffy Duck: [On the court opposite of Monstar Bupkus as he's about to pass it to Monstar Pound with a football helmet on] It's gut-check time!

[His legs quickly jerk back and forth with the sound of a gun cocking, then once it's passed to Monstar Pound, he charges headfirst into his gut, making him drop the ball and it bounces towards Bill Murray]

Bill Murray: This must be mine!

[Picks it up and heads up court as Monstar Nawt goes in front of him]

Bill Murray: This belongs to me. I'm going left! I'm going left! I'm going left!

[Quickly passes the ball to the right where Michael Jordan catches it]

Bill Murray: Don't ever trust an Earthling!

Bill Murray: [Coughs] Doc, what could I do for this cough?

RZA: Shit, I was just thinking about that. Check this out: you get some hydrogen peroxide...

Bill Murray: We got that for cuts and stuff.

RZA: ...take fifty percent hydrogen peroxide, fifty percent water. You gargle with it. Do *not* swallow. You spit it out. Don't swallow, Bill Murray.

GZA: And if that doesn't work, try oven cleaner.

Bill Murray: We got that in the back, too.