Bill Cardew Quotes in Too Many Husbands (1940)

Bill Cardew: What was the last thing anybody said?

Porter: Sumtin' about - sumtin'.

Bill Cardew: Well, we'll get along fine, Peter, just, eh, see that the laundry doesn't starch my collars, boil my eggs four minutes, toast dry, coffee black and, eh, don't knock on the bathroom door.

Bill Cardew: I'm out of your life. Drowned. Forgotten. You found a new love. That makes me an unwanted corpse at a party. I'll go.

Vicky Lowndes: No, no dear. We don't feel that way at all. Do we, Henry?

Henry Lowndes: I think he described himself perfectly!

Bill Cardew: This used to be a room where a man could take his pants off without feeling ashamed!

Bill Cardew: I'd be sick if I had that in my mouth!

Bill Cardew: She's been a good little wife.

Henry Lowndes: To both of us!

Vicky Lowndes: Where did you go?

Henry Lowndes: Oh, places

Bill Cardew: Dumps, joints.

Vicky Lowndes: I see. The condemned men had a hardy drunk!

Henry Lowndes: Who ruined our lives? Who sent us out to saturate ourselves with liquid poison?

Bill Cardew: Yes. What did we talk about with every woman that sat down with us?

Henry Lowndes: Vicki. Our wife!

Henry Lowndes: Are you trying to tell me that you didn't love me, that you married me just because I was so kind?

Bill Cardew: She's telling me what kind of a rat you were, taking advantage of a helpless widow.

Henry Lowndes: There, you said it yourself. If you call her a widow, that proves that even you thought you were dead.

Bill Cardew: I'll show you how dead I am.

Henry Lowndes: Are you stupid enough to believe that I'd leave you here with my wife?

Bill Cardew: Your wife?

Henry Lowndes: Or anybody's wife?

Bill Cardew: Why isn't there a law in this state to protect women from vultures like you?

Henry Lowndes: Vicky, as your legal husband, I'm asking you to order this cad out of the house.

Bill Cardew: As her legal husband, I'm asking you to shut your mouth before I slit your throat.

Henry Lowndes: What are you whispering?

Vicky Lowndes: I wasn't whispering.

Bill Cardew: I was showing her where a barracuda bit me.

Henry Lowndes: A fine thing. And may I comment in passing that it seems awfully strange to order a man out of his own bedroom just because a squealing corpse has washed ashore.

Bill Cardew: This! This is the night I dreamed about while I starved on berries and fish.

Bill Cardew: Say, where are my suits?

Henry Lowndes: I gave them to a tramp.

Bill Cardew: You didn't even save one to bury me in?

Henry Lowndes: I suppose this is hypnotism, a little thing you picked up on your island.

Bill Cardew: I was just seeing you at my wedding, my best man.

Henry Lowndes: Oh, that wedding. You should have seen mine.

Bill Cardew: My best man... offering a toast. "To Bill," he says, "the one man in the world I'd gladly die for."

Henry Lowndes: Oh, did I say that?

Bill Cardew: Well, I'm ready. Let's see you gladly die.

Bill Cardew: This is my table, and I want a steak.

Henry Lowndes: A glorious night for romance, and you want to tear a cow apart with your teeth.

Vicky Lowndes: [In the guest bedroom where both men are to sleep this night] I just thought I'd see if you were all right.

Bill Cardew: I don't feel very good.

Vicky Lowndes: No? What's the matter?

Bill Cardew: Fever, I guess. Deadly tropical fever.

Vicky Lowndes: Your forehead isn't hot.

Bill Cardew: Don't take your hand away.

Vicky Lowndes: Get some aspirin from the cabinet, will you, Henry?

Henry Lowndes: Let him get his own aspirin. I don't feel any too well myself.

Vicky Lowndes: Really, dear?

Henry Lowndes: No.

Vicky Lowndes: Stick out your tongue.

Henry Lowndes: What's my tongue got to do with it? You held his head.

Vicky Lowndes: Let me see your tongue. You know your stomach always goes bad first.

Bill Cardew: [Looks at Henry sticking out his tongue] I'd be sick if I had that in my mouth.

Vicky Lowndes: You're all right. Did you brush your teeth?

Henry Lowndes: Ask him if he brushed his.

Bill Cardew: Can I help it if somebody gave my toothbrush to a tramp?

Henry Lowndes: The tramp wouldn't take it.