Big Bob Freelander Quotes in Smile (1975)

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Big Bob Freelander Quotes:

  • Big Bob Freelander: "A guy turns 35." That's really what's buggin' you, isn't it? That you're about to turn 35.

    Andy DiCarlo: Maybe. Maybe. Or maybe I don't see what's fun about kissing a dead chicken's ass.

    Big Bob Freelander: Well that's 'cause you haven't tried it.

  • Andy DiCarlo: Jesus! Doesn't anything get you down?

    Big Bob Freelander: Yeah, I get my apple cart upset sometimes. I just learned a long time ago to accept a little less from life, that's all.

  • Andy DiCarlo: Doesn't anything ever get you down?

    Big Bob Freelander: Yeah, I get my apple cart upset sometimes. I just learned a long time ago to accept a little less from life, that's all.

    Big Bob Freelander: [continues] Want to know who taught me this great lesson in life? Elizabeth Taylor.

    Andy DiCarlo: [looks incredulous] What?

    Big Bob Freelander: I never bothered to tell you the story because I don't believe in negative stories, but, uh, one time I actually had a date with old Liz herself.

    Andy DiCarlo: You're kidding.

    Big Bob Freelander: Huh-uh. Do you remember when I went off to junior college in Los Angeles? Well, I had a class with a guy that was Liz Taylor's cousin. He fixed me up with her.

    Andy DiCarlo: What was she like?

    Big Bob Freelander: I never met her.

    Andy DiCarlo: You just said...

    Big Bob Freelander: No, I just said that I had a "date" with her. I never said that she kept it. You should've seen all the preparations I made. I went out and got the best flowers that I could find, and a great table at the world-famous Cocoanut Grove restaurant. And then she never showed up. That was the weekend that she ran off and married the hotel guy.

    Andy DiCarlo: I'm sorry.

    Big Bob Freelander: Oh, you don't have to be sorry. Just that now I'm married to Roberta, and I'm happy about it. Even though she is... a little less than Elizabeth Taylor.

    Big Bob Freelander: [pauses to reflect] God, Elizabeth Taylor was beautiful.

  • Big Bob Freelander: [looking at Brenda's book of beauty pageant applicants] Wow, any real lookers this year?

    Brenda: Oh, you men...

    Big Bob Freelander: What do you mean, "us men"? You women are checking each other out a lot more than any man I ever saw. You're always the first ones to sneak a look at the centerfold of "Playboy."

    Brenda: That's not true!

  • Little Bob: You know something, Dad? I know I sort of put down the pageant the last couple of years. But after reading these applications, I can see why you want to help these girls. They seem very, uh... worthwhile.

    Big Bob Freelander: Right on, son. Right on! These are the finest bunch of high school girls in the state. You want to know something else? One of the most exciting things about growing up: one day, you find yourself being interested in all sorts of new things.

    Little Bob: Yeah!

    Big Bob Freelander: You are tops.

  • Andy DiCarlo: I'm getting a reputation for being a drunk, aren't I?

    Big Bob Freelander: No, you certainly are not.

    Andy DiCarlo: It's true.

    Big Bob Freelander: No, it's not true.

    Andy DiCarlo: lt's true. First I was drinking a little, then I was drinking a lot. Damn, it sure sneaks up on you. I just sort of slid into it. That's one thing I'm awful good at: sliding.

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