Bidwell Quotes in Almost Heroes (1998)

Bidwell: [returns to camp after a bear has bit off his leg] Sir, I've been to hell and back.

Edwards: Yes, I can see that...

Bidwell: I suspect that you'll want to lead a hunting party to slay that terrible beast.

Edwards: Well, yes, that thought did cross my mind briefly. But now I have a better idea.

Bidwell: Yes, sir?

Edwards: I shall fashion for you the finest wooden leg you've ever seen.

Bidwell: But what about the bear?

Edwards: Rest assured, Bidwell, in 20 years or so, the ravages of old age will deal with the bear far more cruelly than we ever could have.

Bidwell: Revenge is sweet, sir.

Pratt: [Picks up Bidwell's ear from the dirt] Look at me. I'm going to make an experiment.

[Starts talking into the ear]

Pratt: Hello, Bidwell? Can you hear me?

Bidwell: I can hear you, Pratt.

Pratt: It works.

Edwards: Well, of course, it works. He's standing right... Let's get some sleep.

[a bear has come into camp]

Bidwell: My nose itches.

Hunt: Don't scratch it.

Bidwell: Feels like there's a bug up in there.

Hunt: You scratch your nose. You're dead.

Bidwell: Well, I don't know what's worse. The bear or my itchy nose.

Hunt: I think it's leavin'.

Bidwell: I'm going to scratch it!

[begins scratching his nose and the bear turns around and bites his leg]

Bidwell: [shouts] The bear is worse! The bear is definitely worse!

Bidwell: Sir, sir. I've been to hell and back!

Edwards: Yes, I can see that!

Bidwell: I suspect that now you'll want to lead a hunting party, to slay that terrible beast!

Edwards: Well, yes, that thought did cross my mind. Briefly. But now I have a better idea.

Bidwell: Yes sir?

Edwards: I shall fashion for you the finest wooden leg you have ever seen!

Bidwell: Oh, but what about the bear?

Edwards: Rest assured, Bigwell, in twenty years or so, the ravishes of old age will deal with the bear, far more cruelly than we ever could have.

Bidwell: Revenge is sweet sir!