Betsy Jobs Quotes in Dick (1999)

Betsy Jobs: You kicked Checkers, you're prejudiced and you have a potty mouth.

Betsy Jobs: Checkers pooped.

Rose Mary Woods: Girls, the President's dog doesn't "poop." He "does his business."

Betsy Jobs: [shouting] You can't let dick control your life.

Arlene Lorenzo, Betsy Jobs: You suck, Dick!

Bob Woodward: [meeting Betsy and Arlene] You're Deep Throat?

Betsy Jobs: Yeah, we both are.

Bob Woodward: How old are you?

Betsy Jobs: Twenty-three.

Bob Woodward: Is that your combined ages?

Betsy Jobs: [scoffs] There's no need to be snotty.

Arlene Lorenzo: How dare those people treat us like we're stupid teenage girls.

Betsy Jobs: We are stupid teenage girls.

Arlene Lorenzo: No. We're human beings, and we're American citizens. And four score and seven years ago our forefathers... did something.

Betsy Jobs: It's called incest Arlene, and it's against the law

Arlene Lorenzo: So you really think that my dad could be alive?

Betsy Jobs: Alive and famous! It makes perfect sense, he was probably married or something and your mom had to keep it a secret to protect his reputation. I mean, he's probably out there right now, his heart breaking because he can't reach out to the one person who truly maters to him. His darling daughter.

Arlene Lorenzo: My life is so tragic!

Betsy Jobs: Or it could be worse! What if... years from now you get married and find out that your finacee's dad is your dad, too, and you two are brother and sister!

Arlene Lorenzo: Oh my GOD!

Betsy Jobs: Mhm. It's called incest, Arlene. And it's against the law.

Betsy Jobs: You're the smartest person I know.

Arlene Lorenzo: But you don't know anybody...

Betsy Jobs: What are you doing?

Chip: Beer Bong?

Betsy Jobs: I'm definitely tripping already... heavily.

Betsy Jobs: Hey, that guy has T.P. stuck to his shoe.

Arlene Lorenzo: Hey, mister! Hey! Hey, you, hey turn around, mister!

G. Gordon Liddy: Young lady, I am a VERY busy man.

Arlene Lorenzo: Wait a minute, I know you.

Betsy Jobs: Me too. But from where?

[thinks for a second, then gasps]

Betsy Jobs: Are you the guy who sells corndogs at the mall?

Betsy Jobs: Isn't it against the law to cut up the flag?

Arlene Lorenzo: Not if you sew it back together.

Betsy Jobs: [while looking at a portrait of George Washington] It looks like he's wearing blush.

[the girls giggle]

Betsy Jobs: Are you the President's dog trainer?

John Dean: I'm John Dean, Chief White House Counsel.

Betsy Jobs: Oh. That's too bad.

Arlene Lorenzo: We think you haven't been completely honest with us.

Dick: Let me tell you, if it's about that goddamn Watergate! I tell you, I had NOTHING to do with it, you hear? It's those goddamn Woodward and Burnstein! They're out to get me!

Arlene Lorenzo: [Stunned silence] Actually it was just about the dog.

Betsy Jobs: You act like you like him. But we don't think you do.

Dick: What dog?