Beta Quotes in The Last Starfighter (1984)

Maggie Gordon: Alex in space? Is this for real?

Beta: Yes! That's what I'm trying to tell you - it's ALL for real.

Maggie Gordon: Well then don't talk, DRIVE!

Beta: There he is. When I get the signal, we're gonna jump, okay?

Maggie Gordon: What do you mean jump?

Beta: We're gonna ram him.

Maggie Gordon: [shocked] What?

Beta: Are you ready? Jump!

Maggie Gordon: Alex!

[jumps off the truck]

Beta: [grimly smiles] You owe me one, Alex.

[sacrifices himself]

Louis Rogan: [Louis is watching Beta/Alex repair himself] Alex... what the hell are you doing?

Beta: Louis, you're having a terrible nightmare. Go back to sleep.

Beta: Wait a minute, what are you doing back?

Alex Rogan: Are you kidding? It's war up there!

Beta: Oh, save the whales, but not the universe, huh?

Beta: Good luck, Alex.

Alex Rogan: You too... Alex.

Louis Rogan: [trying to sleep, angry] What's up, Alex?

Alex Rogan: [walking out] Back to sleep, Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!

Beta: You're blowing it, Alex.

Louis Rogan: [looks down from the bed, shocked] What the shit?

Beta: [imitating Alex] I said, back to sleep Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!

Alex Rogan: Hey, you look like me!

Beta: Of course I do. I'm a beta unit.

Alex Rogan: What the hell is a beta unit?

Beta: A beta unit is a simuloid. An exact duplicate, only not as loud!

Centauri: Get a good look, Alex, you can bet your asteroids you'll be seeing more of them

[refering to a dead Zando-Zan sent to kill Alex Rogan]

Alex Rogan: What?

Centauri: This is a Zando-Zan. An interstellar hit-beast. Courtesy of Xur.

Alex Rogan: Xur? Why's he after me?

Centauri: Somehow he found out you're a Starfighter.

Beta: You see, Alex, you've gotta go back. You stay here, you're dog meat.

Centauri: Trust Centauri on this, my boy. Because in two hours, this park will be crawling with ten Zando-Zans, with just one thought on their microscopic little minds: kill Alex Rogan.

Beta: [to a startled Louis, while working on his detached head and sitting at a work bench] Louis, you're having a terrible nightmare. Go back to sleep.

Alpha: [Through a communicator on Beta's collar] This is Alpha calling Dug. Come in, Dug.

Dug: Hi Alpha. Hey, your voice sounds funny.

Alpha: I know, I know! Have you seen the bird?

Dug: Why, yes. The bird is my prisoner now.

Gamma: Yeah, right!

[Kevin hisses at the screen]

Alpha: Impossible! Where are you?

Dug: I am here with the bird, and I will bring it back, and then you will like me. Oh, gotta go.

[Russell appears on the screen]

Russell: Hey Dug! Who you talking to?

Alpha: [the screen goes black] No, wait, wait!

Beta: What's Dug doing?

Gamma: Why's he with that small mailman?

Beta: Where are they?

[Alpha locates Dug on GPS]

Dug: There he is, come on!

[they all dart into the jungle]

Beta: Chocolate, I smell chocolate!

Gamma: I'm getting prunes and denture cream! Who are they?

Beta: Oh, man, Master will not be pleased. We better tell him someone took the bird. Right, Alpha?

Alpha: [in a squeaky voice] No. Soon enough the bird will be ours yet again. Find the scent, my compadres, and you too shall have much rewardings from Master for the toil factor you wage.

Beta: Hey, Alpha, I think there's something wrong with your collar. You must have bumped it.

Gamma: Yeah, your voice sounds funny!

[they both laugh]

Alpha: Beta! Gamma!

[they both stop laughing]

Alpha: Mayhaps you desire to - SQUIRREL!

[All of them turn their attention to a nearby tree; slight pause, Gamma whimpers]

Alpha: Mayhaps you desire to challenge the ranking that I have been asigned by my strength and cunning...

Beta: No, no, no. But maybe Dug would. You might wanna ask him.

Gamma: Yeah. I wonder if he's found the bird on his very special mission.

Alpha: Do not mention Dug to me at this time. His fool's errand will keep him most occupied. Most occupied, indeed. Ha ha ha! Do you not agree with that which I am saying to you now?

Beta: Sure, but the second Master finds out you sent Dug out by himself, none of us will get a treat.

[He and Gamma whine]

Alpha: [lunges and growls at them] You are wise, my trusted lieutenant.

Russell: Where are you keeping Kevin? Let me go!

Beta: Scream all you want, small mailman.

Alpha: None of your mailman friends can hear you.

Russell: I'll unleash all my Wilderness Explorer training!

Russell: [Distracting the Dogs on the planes after having managed to finally climb up the hose onto Carl's Porch of his house floating around Muntz' Airship] Hey look, Squirrel!

Beta, Gamma, Omega: Where? Lemme at em.

[Beta, Gamma and Omega all crash into each other, destroying their planes as they activate their parachutes]

Gamma: [Slowly descending] I hate Squirrels!

[Muntz' Dogs arrive back at his airship, wet after they failed to stop Carl, Russell, and Kevin from getting away]

Charles Muntz: You lost them?

Beta: They were no match, too fast, they outsmarted us.

Gamma: Yeah, Dug helped them get away.

Charles Muntz: Wait a minute, Dug?

[Knowing all his Dog's have a Tracking Device on his Collar, Muntz locates Dug on GPS. The scene changes to show Dug with his Collar flashing, sniffing the air at night, with Carl and Russell taking Kevin back to her babies]

Dug: Oh boy, my Pack isn't following us. Boy are they dumb.

Charles Muntz: [Muntz notices that Russell is hanging by Carl's garden hose high in the air. He speaks into his intercom] Gray leader? Take down the house.

Russell: [still hanging on the hose] AAAAh!

[he sees three planes drop out of the blimp]

Russell: Oh?

[the planes swoop in. Three dogs are piloting them]

Beta: Gray Leader, checking in.

Gamma: Gray Two, checking in.

Omega: Gray Three, checking in.

Beta: [they approach Carl's house] Target sighted.

[he chomps down on a squeaky bone. The plane fires projectiles]

Alpha: You are now one of us. Ask anything.

Helen Salinger: Well, I... I-I still can't be sure whether you're speaking my language or I yours.

Alpha: We need no language, Helen. We can project our thoughts long distances, as you well know. Someday, we will teach you. In the meantime, we will speak your tongue. Just as we speak all of Earth's tongues.

Beta: Remember that our generation predates yours by centuries.

Helen Salinger: What you taught me about celestial navigation made me look like quite a genius. But why me, Alpha, and not the others?

Beta: We have no use for men.

Alpha: What Beta means is that we have no contact or control over them as we do among ourselves. It seemed rather difficult to get a crew entirely composed of women. We decided to concentrate on you.

Phillip Winter: Listen. You have to guess what this is.

[makes sound of horse running]

Beta: A horse! He's afraid!

Zé: Yeah, horse!

Vera: That's it!

Sofia: He's running very fast! He's galloping!

Phillip Winter: Right. And who is always on a horse?

Zé: A cowboy.

Phillip Winter: Right. And now...

[makes sound of lighting a match]

Vera: A match!

Zé: He lights a match!

Phillip Winter: [makes sound of fire]

Sofia: What's that?

Zé: He makes a fire!

Vera: Yeah, he makes a fire!

Phillip Winter: Mmm hmm...

[makes sound of frying eggs]

Zé: What's that?

Sofia: He makes something to eat. Yes, a steak!

Zé: A steak!

Phillip Winter: [pauses] Nnnehh... This cowboy is... vegetarian. Listen again.