Ben Selleck Quotes in The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (2009)

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Ben Selleck Quotes:

  • Ben Selleck: Look, I may be old fashioned, but when a man tells me to wear my boner pants I wear my boner pants.

  • Ben Selleck: And who is this guy? Well you are a strapping young man.

    Brent Gage: Brent Gage, Sir.

    Ben Selleck: Brent Gage, Now that is a strong name. I don't know why but right off the bat i like you... *a lot*

  • Teddy Dang: Mr. Selleck, I think i made a sale.

    Ben Selleck: Terrific, good job Teddy!

    Teddy Dang: And he wants to pay in cash, non sequential unmarked bills, neatly packed in this canvas bag.

    Ben Selleck: well thats a bank bag Teddy...

    [bag full of blue dye packs explodes in Teddy's face, customer speeds away]

    Teddy Dang: Ah! My eyes, My eyes! My Lasik!

    Ben Selleck: Awe shit somebody call the cops.

    Teddy Dang: It Burns!

    Ben Selleck: Teddy go flush your eyes out.

    Teddy Dang: I feel like a smurf just jizzed in my face!

  • Don Ready: You're here from Selleck Motors?

    Peter Selleck: No but my dad is.

    Don Ready: You know you're supposed to put the name of the party you're picking up not your own. Love the drawing though.

    Peter Selleck: Yea I'm a really good drawer, I like to draw stomach muscles the most. I can also draw Darth Vader's Helmet, I can also draw him, I can draw uhh a saber, A lightsaber or a regular sword it dudnt even matter

    Don Ready: What the fuck is wrong with you? Are ya drunk? Are you retarded? Because were here to help you.

    Peter Selleck: Don't move! Dad! Amber Alert! Adult! Stranger Danger Stranger Danger! Dad!

    Babs Merrick: Looks like it wasn't the fax ink, hes some sort of man child.

    Ben Selleck: Its a pituitary problem ma'am, Hes 10... in the developing body of an adult

    Don Ready: Awe I'm sorry buddy, I'm totally sorry. Put it up there high five, good effort there

  • Ben Selleck: Hey Brent, you see my wife over there?

    Brent Gage: Yea

    Ben Selleck: it is a *dead* marriage but, ya know, ya learn to live with it. Drive around out at night windows down, music up. Some people call it cruisin' me i call it looking for a friend. Are you my friend Brent?

    Brent Gage: No!

  • Don Ready: Make sure your underwear is *tight* tomorrow... because you will have a boner.

    Peter Selleck: Hahaha!

    Jibby Newsome: Amen

    Ben Selleck: I like the sound of that, Right Brent?

Browse more character quotes from The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (2009)

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