Ben Rumson Quotes in Paint Your Wagon (1969)

Elizabeth: Did you know that the Fenty's had an apple farm back in Pennsylvania?

Ben Rumson: Apple jack, huh?

Mr. Fenty: No, sir, we did not make apple jack!

Ben Rumson: Then, what did you grow the apples for?

Mr. Fenty: Mr. Rumson, do you think that everything that comes out of the earth should be used to make liquor?

Ben Rumson: Whenever possible, yes.

Pardner: [When Ben sees Pardner riding a horse with Elizabeth, he punches him to the ground, pulls a gun on him then threatens to tear him apart] Ben, what the hell's the matter with you?

Ben Rumson: What was the two of you doin' on the same horse?

Pardner: Ridin', what else would we be doin' on a horse? And it'd be the last place I'd...

Ben Rumson: Where was her horse?

Pardner: That was her horse.

Ben Rumson: [Pointing, voice cracking] And where, HAHA, was your horse?

Pardner: You... had my horse.

Mrs. Fenty: You should read the Bible, Mr. Rumson.

Ben Rumson: I have read the Bible, Mrs. Fenty.

Mrs. Fenty: Didn't that discourage you about drinking?

Ben Rumson: No, but it sure killed my appetite for readin'!

[Partner has decided to remain behind with the settlers]

Ben Rumson: You say something nice to her for me, Par... What the hell is your name anyway?

Partner: It's Sylvester Newel. Yeah, just one 'l'.

Ben Rumson: Sylvester Newel. Well, that's a good name for a farmer.

Ben Rumson: Grace, I give you the boy. Give me back the man.

Ben Rumson: Pardner, there comes a time when the party of the first part has no recourse but to knock some sense into the party of the second part! You're stayin'!

Ben Rumson: There's two kinds of people, them goin' somewhere and them goin' nowhere. And that's what's true.

Miner: Hey, Ben! These men came all the way from Fiddler's Camp, just to see your wife.

Ben Rumson: Well, looks like I married myself a tourist attraction.

Horace Tabor: Is it your proposal, Mr. Rumson, that we knock out the stage driver, steal a coach, and kidnap six women?

Ben Rumson: Sounds better every time I hear it.

Ben Rumson: Howdy Parson, welcome to HELL!

[shouted from clifftop to riverbed and back, very slowly]

Steve Bull: IS... THEY... DEAD...?

Ben Rumson: THEY... BETTER... BE... CAUSE... I'M... GONNA... BURY 'EM!

Ben Rumson: Now, don't tell me you've never been with a woman.

Horton: No, sir I haven't.

Ben Rumson: Well, that, that's terrible! Did you know you could go blind?

Pardner: Ben, how's married life?

Ben Rumson: Pardner, it was so good that I forgot that I was married.

Horton: Mr. Rumson, I swore I wouldn't tell anyone. I hope that means except my father and mother.

Ben Rumson: That means especially your father and mother.

Horton: But I've never kept anything from them before.

Ben Rumson: Well, it's time you started. Because when you do, a whole new world opens up.

Ben Rumson: [singing] A man has his creed, and mine is all greed!

Ben Rumson: Is they dead? They better be cause I'm fixin' to bury em'!

[Ben and Partner are walking through the mining camp]

Ben Rumson: Hi, Willy! How're things goin'?

'Rotten Luck'Willie: I ain't won a hand in two weeks.

Ben Rumson: (to Partner) They call him 'Rotten Luck' Willie. You couldn't beat him with five aces.

Pardner: Oh, I don't gamble.

Ben Rumson: Neither does he.

Parson: [when some travelers have been newly rescued from hunger and cold] Rumson, I am entering your house to pray for the unfortunate victims.

Ben Rumson: Not tonight Parson, these folks have suffered enough. Now why don't you do that outside where God can hear you better, 'cause I'll be talking in here.

Ben Rumson: I always knew you had a farmer's mentality.

Ben Rumson: You mean to tell me you ain't never had a woman neither?

Horton: No, sir.

Ben Rumson: This is serious. You know you could go blind? Come here.

[to 'Rotten Luck' Willie]

Ben Rumson: Willie, if a young man was goin' trappin' for the first time and wanted a guide, somebody who would be patient with him and show him the way things are to be done; what kind of guide would you choose?

'Rotten Luck'Willie: [Thinking] Ah, that would be Gracie.