Ben McGewen Quotes in Stark Raving Mad (2002)

Ben McGewen: Do you know why Ching One-eye is called Ching One-eye?

Rikki Simms: He lost an eye?

Ben McGewen: What the fuck? You don't get called Ching One-eye for losing a fuckin' ear.

Ben McGewen: So whats your DJ name?

D.J.: Stephen Moulding.

Ben McGewen: Thats it, you need a proper Dj name. I wouldn't play to see Stephen Moulding. would you Rikki? See that name sucks dick.

D.J.: Fuck you.

Ben McGewen: DJ Fuck you, it is.

Dirk: Nah, I don't think so.

Stacie: Let me in the fucking club, you piece of shit!

Ben McGewen: What's wrong?

Dirk: Fake I.D.

Stacie: No, it's not.

Ben McGewen: Sorry. You can't come in.

Stacie: That's my real I.D. Bite me.

Dirk: [hands Ben her I.D]

Ben McGewen: This doesn't look like just a dye job to me. See, you're a brunette, and this I.D.'s for a natural blonde.

Stacie: Oh, yeah? Does this look brunette to you?

[lifts her mini-skirt to reveal her blonde pubic hair]

Stacie: Huh?

Ben McGewen: Don't be a dick, Dirk. Let her in.

Ben McGewen: Dirk, the line's all the way down the street. How come we're not staying full?

Dirk: We're getting a lot of fake I.D.'s. It's all like jail bait.

Ben McGewen: So? Let 'em in, man. Let 'em all in.

Dirk: Huh? You're kidding.

Ben McGewen: [waving the kids in] Come on. Okay, let's go.

Dirk: They'll shut us down.

Ben McGewen: [to the kids] There you go.

Dirk: What the hell are you doing?

Ben McGewen: [to the kids] Single file.

Dirk: You no have club no more!

Ben McGewen: [still talking to kids and ignoring Dirk's pleas] Lots of room for ya. Get drunk. Be loud! Be really loud! Okay. All right. There you go.

Dirk: You'll never promote a club again!

Ben McGewen: I don't give a shit right now, man.

Betty Shin: Who goes? Jeffrey's fucked.

Ben McGewen: One of us.

Jake Nealson: I'll go. I know the explosives.

Betty Shin: Guess again. You're too heavy. Jeffrey only had that cord set for 350 pounds.

Jake Nealson: Well, you go, then.

Betty Shin: Someone's got to track the alarms. I stay with my laptop, pal.

Scott: I can do it.

Ben McGewen: No offense, but when this makes the books as the most fucked-up bank job in history for all the mistakes that I did make, I don't want to be credited with sending the Chow-Wang food guy in to blow the safe.

Ben McGewen: There was this thing on Nova. They discovered a totally isolated clan of people in a remote region of Greenland. They were living in a technologically medieval microculture. The Untladhavns. Yeah, no kidding.

Ben McGewen: And when they sent in this cultural anthropologist he discovered that these people never lied. They didn't even have a word for it.

Ben McGewen: Hm. That's great for them.

Ben McGewen: But I bet you the Untladhavns never found themselves in an alley with Jeffrey the epileptic being held together by an FBI agent only inches away from discovering the robbery that they meticulously planned for six months.

Ben McGewen: So fuck the Untladhavns.

Ben McGewen: And I gotta tell ya, underneath that crunchy, chocolate shell... Jake's a big warm nougat of a guy.