Beltzer Quotes in Twister (1996)
Joey: [Discussing at Meg's on the tornadoes they have seen so far at Meg's home at her dining table, eating steak and eggs] No, that was a good size twister. What was it, an F3?
Bill: Solid F2.
Melissa: See, now you have lost me again.
Bill: It's the Fujita scale. It measures a tornado's intensity by how much it eats.
Laurence: That one we encountered back there was a strong F2, possibly an F3.
Beltzer: Maybe we'll see some 4's.
Haynes: That would be sweet!
Bill: 4 is good. 4 will relocate your house very efficiently.
Melissa: Is there an F5?
[Everyone goes dead silent]
Melissa: What would that be like?
Jason 'Preacher' Rowe: The Finger of God.
Melissa: None of you has ever seen an F5?
Bill: ...Just one of us.
[Looks upstairs, indicating Jo]
Melissa: [at Meg's home at her dining table, eating steak and eggs] Why do you call Billy "The Extreme?"
Dusty: Because Billy *is* "The Extreme."
Jason 'Preacher' Rowe: Bill is the most outta control son of a bitch in the game!
Bill: [looking at Jo] No, I think I came in second.
Dusty: So we get this one near Daleton, right?
Rabbit: Oh, God.
Jo: You guys have got to get some new stories. I'm gonna go wash up.
Dusty: And we are way too close. And Jo's got the vid on it right, she's filming it. And all of the sudden outta nowhere, this shitty lookin' green Valiant comes pulling up right in the way.
Beltzer: [points to Bill] And this loser stumbles out of the car, he's got like a bottle of Jack Daniel's in his hand...
Dusty: He's naked!
Rabbit: He is *butt* naked!
Bill: NOT naked! I was NOT naked!
Beltzer: [whispering & laughing in Melissa's ear] He was without apparel.
Bill: Half naked.
Dusty: Naked. Ok, so Jo's yelling at him to get out of the way, right?
Dusty: And he just strolls up to the twister, says 'have a drink', and he chucks the bottle into the twister, and it NEVER hits the ground.
Jason 'Preacher' Rowe: The twister caught it, and sucked it right up!
Bill: [directing towards Melissa] Honey, this is a tissue of lies. See, there was another Bill, an evil Bill, and I killed him.
Dusty: [after a pair of tornadoes spun Bill's truck around a few times] Red meat. We crave sustenance.
Jo: No, guys. We are not invading my aunt.
Dusty, Rabbit: [others join in] Food.
Dusty, Rabbit, Beltzer: [the rest join in] FOOOOOOOOD!
Jo: Hey! We are absolutely not going.
Beltzer: [over the radio] Normal man spends his life avoiding tense situations.
Dusty: [over the radio] Repo Man spends his life getting into tense situations, Beltzer!
[Spotting a tornado]
Beltzer: That's no moon, that's a space station!
Beltzer: [over the radio, referring to Jo and Bill arguing] Hey, you guys want to wrap this up pretty soon?
Bill: [over the radio] What?
Beltzer: Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if you wanted to chase this tornado, or if you just wanted to catch the next one.
Joey: [Computer beeps] We've got a touchdown!
Laurence: [On radio] We have touchdown! Touchdown! Tornado is on the ground!
Haynes: [Hands radio to Beltzer] Listen to this!
Laurence: Looks like it's heading down Route 33.
Bill: Jo, we're on 33.
Jo: What's the path?
Laurence: Looks like it's going about 35 mph.
Rabbit: [Looking around] Can you see this?
Allan Sanders: I can not see this. Where is it? Hello? Which way you guys looking?
Bill: Where, where, where...
Jo: Direction, Rabbit.
Rabbit: North northeast!
Beltzer: Do you see it?
Rabbit: North northeast, you copy?
Bill: Shit, it's coming right at us!
Laurence: Axis has gone vertical, gone vertical. Sucker's really gaining up strength.
Jo: You see it?
Bill: Beltzer! We do not have a visual. Repeat, we do not have a visual. Help us out here!
Jo: Where is it?
Beltzer: Yeah, I got it Billy. Best motion I've ever seen. Looks like the base of this sucker's at least a half mile wide.
Rabbit: If you are going east on 7, it should be coming right over that hill in a matter of minutes!
Allan Sanders: This is the one man, I feel it.
Beltzer: Hey there professor, I think I fixed it.
Jo: [dish sparks while standing on top of his van] Fuck me, this thing is useless!
Beltzer: Sorry, Jo.
Jo: [dish works] That's good!Thats Good! Beltzer get me a reading.
Beltzer: Hang on a second, boss lady, hold your horses. Which way you want it, Jo?
Jo: Looks like the dry line has stalled. A sector scan of West North-West look for rotation and increase the PRF.
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