Bela Lugosi Quotes in Ed Wood (1994)

Bela Lugosi: Karloff? Sidekick? FUCK YOU! Karloff did not deserve to smell my shit! That limey cocksucker can rot in Hell for all I care!

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: What happened?

Bela Lugosi: How dare that asshole bring up Karloff? You think it takes talent to do Frankenstein? It's all makeup and grunting.

[Mocks Frankenstein]

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Bela, I agree with you 100%. Now, "Dracula," that's a role that requires talent.

Bela Lugosi: Of course. Dracula requires presence. It's all in the eyes, and the voice, and the hands...

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: [interrupting] That's right. That's right. You seem a little agitated. You wanna to go outside and get some air?

Bela Lugosi: Bullshit! I'm ready now! Roll the camera!

Bela Lugosi: Home? I have no home. Hunted... despised... living like an animal. The jungle is my home! But I will show the world that I can be its master. I shall perfect my own race of people... a race of atomic supermen that will conquer the world!

Bela Lugosi: This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in. Your selection is quite shoddy. You are wasting my time.

Bela Lugosi: I refuse to drive in this country. Too many madmen.

[Bela Lugosi casts a love spell on Vampira who is on TV while moving his fingers like Dracula]

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: My Gosh, Bela, how do you do that?

Bela Lugosi: You must be double-jointed. And you must be Hungarian.

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: You know, you're, you're much scarier in real life than you are in the movie.

Bela Lugosi: Thank you.

[Bela Lugosi answers the door on Halloween night wearing his Dracula costume]

Children: Trick or treat!

[At the sight of Dracula, all but one little boy scream and run away]

Bela Lugosi: Aren't you scared, little boy? I'm going to drink your blood!

Trick-or-Treating Kid: You're not a real vampire. Those teeth don't frighten me.

[Bela looks puzzled. Ed Wood appears next to him in the doorway]

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: How 'bout these?

[Pulls out his entire row of front teeth]

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: [Little boy screams and runs away]

Bela Lugosi: Hey... How d'you do that?

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Dentures!

[Holds them up]

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Lost my pearlies in the war!

[while he and the others flee the chaotic premiere of "Bride of the Monster" in a cab]

Bela Lugosi: Now that was a premiere.

[on the phone to Bunny]

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Listen, hit the bars, work some parties, and get me transvestites. I need transvestites. All right. Bye.

Bela Lugosi: Eddie, what kind of a movie is this?

[on the reason for the success of 'Dracula(1931)']

Bela Lugosi: They were mythic. They had a poetry to them.

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Yes.

Bela Lugosi: And you know what else? The women... the women preferred the traditional monsters.

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: The women? Huh?

Bela Lugosi: The pure horror, it both repels, and attracts them, because in their collective unconsiousness, they have the agony of childbirth. The blood. The blood is horror.

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: You know, I never thought of that.

Bela Lugosi: Take my word for it. If you want to make out with a young lady, take her to see "Dracula".

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: What are you drinking, Bela?

Bela Lugosi: Formaldehyde

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Straight up or on the rocks?

[Stepping into water]

Bela Lugosi: GODDAMN, it's cold!

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: It'll warm up once you're in it.

Bela Lugosi: FUCK YOU! You come out here!

[pointing to a "Jacob's Ladder" on the set of Bride of the Atom]

Bela Lugosi: I'm not getting near that goddamn thing. One of them burned me in "The Return of Chandu".

Bela Lugosi: [about to start filming at night] "All right, lets shoot this fucker!"

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Boy, Mr. Lugosi, you must lead such an exciting life! When is your next picture coming out?

Bela Lugosi: I have no next picture.

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: You gotta be joking, a great star like you? You must have dozens of them lined up!

Bela Lugosi: Back in the old days, yes... Now, no one gives two fucks for Bela.

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: But you're a big star!

Bela Lugosi: No more. I haven't worked in four years. This business, this town, it chews you up, then spits you out.

[pauses]

Bela Lugosi: I'm just an ex-boogeyman.

Bela Lugosi: They don't want the classic horror films anymore. Today it's all giant bugs. Giant spiders, giant grasshoppers... Who would believe such nonsense?

Bela Lugosi: Pull the string! Pull the string!

Bela Lugosi: [watching Vampira on TV] I think she's a honey. Look at those jugs.

[Bela, in his Dracula costume, hears the doorbell on Halloween night]

Bela Lugosi: Children! I love children.

Nurse: Oh my goodness, you gave me the willies! You look like that Dracula guy.

Bela Lugosi: My name is Bela Lugosi... and I wish to commit myself.

Nurse: For what reason?

Bela Lugosi: I have been a drug addict for twenty years. I NEED HELP!

Criswell: Bela, would you like a wine?

Bela Lugosi: No. I never drink... wine.

[Finds Bela ailing]

Bela Lugosi: This happens all the time.

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Is there anything I can get for you? Water or a blanket?

Bela Lugosi: Goulash.

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: I don't know how to make goulash.

[See the track marks on Bela's arm]

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Bela, what's in the needle?

Bela Lugosi: Morphine. With a demerol chaser.