Bear Quotes in Armageddon (1998)


Bear Quotes:

  • Truman: So what's the verdict?

    Harry Stamper: They'll do it. They've made a few requests though.

    Truman: Such as?

    Harry Stamper: [riffles through sheets of paper] Well, there's uh, few things here, uh... nothin' really big, uh, just- Well, as an example, uh, uh, Oscar here, he's got some outstanding parking tickets. Wants them wiped off his record.

    Oscar: [shouting from balcony] Fifty-six tickets in seven states...

    Harry Stamper: [to Oscar] I'll-I'll tell 'em Oscar, you got it.

    Oscar: Okay.

    Harry Stamper: Uh, Noonan's got two women friends that he'd like to see made American citizens no questions asked. Max would like you to... bring back eight-track tapes. Not sure if that's gonna work, but, uh, let's see what else. Um, Chick wants a full week's Emperor's Package at Caesar's Palace. Um - hey, you guys wouldn't be able to tell us who actually killed Kennedy, would ya?

    [pause, turns and shakes his head]

    Harry Stamper: Um, Bear would like to stay at the...

    [tries to read writing]

    Harry Stamper: "White horse"?

    [looks up at Bear]

    Bear: White, *House*. White House.

    Harry Stamper: White House. Yeah, he'd like to stay in the Lincoln bedroom of the White House for the summer. Stuff like that.

    Truman: Sure, I think we can, uh, take care of... some of that.

    Rockhound: [shouting from balcony] Harry!

    Harry Stamper: [motions back at Rockhound] Yeah one more thing, um... none of them wanna pay taxes again.


    Harry Stamper: Ever.

  • Watts: [showing a video] Neil Armstrong, 1969, bouncing on the moon. He's bouncing because there's less gravity up there than on Earth. This will be similar to the asteroid. So, watch it. Something gets launched off that asteroid with enough force, it's gonna keep on going, right into outer space.

    Oscar: [to Bear] What is the deal? Is it just me, or is Watts really hot?

    Bear: [nods] Yeah.

    Watts: So we have these new generation suits. With directional accelerant thrusters. You won't bounce like Neil Armstrong.

    [seeing that Bear is not paying attention]

    Watts: Bear!

    Bear: Yes?

    Watts: Do we have a problem?

    Bear: No.

    Watts: 'Cause I'm trying to describe to you how these DATs keep your ass on the ground, so that if I were to kick you in the balls, and you don't know how to work them, what happens to you?

    Bear: I float away.

    Watts: Yeah.

    Rockhound: When do we start training for THAT?

  • Bear: What's up, Harry? Did NASA find oil on Uranus, man?

  • Harry Stamper: None of you have to go. We can all just sit here on Earth, wait for this big rock to crash into it, kill everything and everybody we know. United States government just asked us to save the world. Anybody wanna say no?

    Chick: 20 years. Haven't turned you down once. Not about to start now. I'm there.

    Freddy Noonan: Guess I can't let you go up there alone.

    Bear: I'm with you.

    Oscar: Man, this is - this is historic. Guys, this is, like, deep blue hero stuff! Of course I'm in.

    Rockhound: While I don't share *his* enthusiasm, you know me. Beam me up, Scotty!

    Harry Stamper: You all right, Max?

    Max: I-I don't, I-I don't... Whatever you think.

    Harry Stamper: [to A.J] How about you?

    A.J.: I'm in.

    Harry Stamper: All right then. We go.

    Rockhound: I don't mean to be the materialistic weasel of this group, but do you think we'll get hazard pay out of this?

  • Colonel William Sharp: It takes two people to fly this thing. Either we all stay and die, or you guys draw straws.

    Rockhound: I say we all stay and die.

    [pause, everyone looks at Rockhound]

    Rockhound: But that's me.

    AJ: I'll draw. Let's draw.

    Harry: Nobody's gonna draw straws. I'll stay and take care of it.

    Chick: Well, I can't live with that sort of thing.

    Lev Andropov: Nobody asked you if you could live with it, all right?

    Lev Andropov: Bullshit! No way I will let you volunteer for this, so I can go back to my home country like the man who did not volunteer! No way!

    Bear: Hey man, let's draw, and let's see who's gonna stay up here and dance.

    Rockhound: Hey guys? I-I know you guys think I'm crazy right now but, I would really like this responsibility.

    Harry: All right. All right.

    Rockhound: I can do it!

    Harry: Let's just draw straws and get it over with. Come on.

    Chick: I ain't drawin' against you, Harry.

    Harry: Well, I'm gonna draw against you Chick, so you better just go ahead and do it.

    [They draw straws]

    Chick: Just gimme this thing.

    Lev Andropov: [Lev looks at the straw he has drawn] Is this good, or bad?

    [A.J. has drawn the short straw]

    AJ: Oh man. Well, we all gotta die right? I'm the guy who gets to do it saving the world.

  • Bear: [sobbing in front of Dr. Banks] I am not crazy! I'm just a little emotional right now, ok? Ya'll throwing all this stuff at me, man! Look, I mean, after this is over, can I like get a hug from you or something?

  • [AJ, Lev, and Bear are about to make the canyon jump]

    Bear: Just for the record, this is a very bad idea!

  • Bear: Yo, Harry, you the man.

  • AJ: [as the two shuttles are rounding the Moon pulling Gs] Is this supposed to be like this?

    Oscar: Don't worry! This is normal!

    Bear: How would you know?

  • Bear: I feel like a turd in a punchbowl...

  • Bear: Hey! What you're gonna do to them with that ain't shit compared to what I'm gonna do to you with this.

    Bone: Where did you get that piece Bear?

    Bear: Got it for my nephew, 5 and dime

  • Bear: How would you like to have this pig right up your ass?

    Sheriff: Pig up the ass... Two Hundred Fifty dollars!

  • Bear: Hey baby

    HattieAda: [both freak out]

    Bear: See soemthing ya like?

    HattieAda: [both walk away]

    Bear: ...Guess not

  • Bear: You mean that's it, I don't get to take Junior here out to play?

    Bone: Nope

    Bear: SHIT!

  • Bone: [looking up at Bear ] Hey Bear, how they hangin' bro?

    Bear: Little closer to the ground, just the way I like it

  • Bear: People? People? Oh, no! What scurvy luck!

  • Bear: We're going on a treasure hunt.

    Samantha: [yawns loudly]

    Aunt Lucy: [speaking in a pirate brogue] Not one to join us, Missy? You'll walk the plank if you don't.

    Samantha: Guess I'll take my chances with the sharks.

    Franklin: So what do you want to do?

    Samantha: Not play some dumb kids game.

  • [last lines]

    Samantha: Granny's map? But I couldn't.

    Franklin: It's okay. Aunt Lucy said I could give it to you. You know, to remember your summer by.

    Samantha: I won't ever forget this summer.

    [gives him a small smooch]

    Bear: Ahem.

    Aunt Lucy: Well, what do you know? Life is just full of surprises, isn't it?

  • [subtitled conversation between Ron's dog Baxter and an attacking bear]

    Baxter: Leave these people alone. They mean you no harm.

    Bear: We Bears are a proud race. They must pay for their intrusion.

    Baxter: On my journey I met one of your kind. His name was Katow-jo. We became friends.

    Bear: Katow-jo is my cousin. Go in peace.

    Baxter: I will tell tales of your compassion.

    Bear: Fare thee well, Baxter. You shall always be friend of the bears.

  • Bo Catlett: I'd like to introduce my associate, The Bear. Movie stuntman, champion bodybuilder. Throws out things I don't want.

    Bear: I think you ought to turn around and head back to Miami.

    Chili Palmer: So you're a stuntman, huh?

    Bear: Yeah.

    Chili Palmer: You any good?

    Bear: Am I any good?

    [He turns to Bo, laughing. Chili grabs him by the balls, then throws him down the stairs]

    Chili Palmer: That's not bad for a guy his size.

  • [after Bo's balcony rail gives way, pitching Bo over the side to the bottom of the canyon]

    Chili Palmer: How do you think that happened?

    [Bear holds up a handful of screws and nuts]

    Bear: Beats the shit out of me.

  • Chili Palmer: If you're gonna set somebody up, it's gotta be a surprise, you got that?

    Bear: You spotted them, huh?

    Chili Palmer: What, did you see that work in some movie you got beat up in?

  • [after Chili beats up Bear]

    Chili Palmer: Bear, look at me. You tell your boss I don't ever want to see him again. And that means he's got to be nowhere near me, Karen, or Harry. You understand?

    [Bear nods]

    Chili Palmer: Okay, get up. What are you hanging around that guy for, anyway? I mean, you were in the movies, right? You were a stuntman. What's he ever done that he can talk about? You okay?

    Bear: Not too bad.

    Chili Palmer: How about when you fell down the stairs?

    Bear: Pulled my quadriceps.

    Chili Palmer: So how many movies you been in, anyway?

    Bear: About sixty.

    Chili Palmer: No shit. What were some of them?

  • Bo Catlett: You see how he just went over the rail like that? Maybe I could get Chili Palmer up here, and you could fix my balcony to give way like they do in the movies. I invite him to take a look at my view, he leans over the rail, pitches off the balcony into the sweet by-and-by...

    Bear: Cat, that's the dumbest idea I've ever heard.

  • Bo Catlett: You get the money?

    Bear: No. What's this?

    Bo Catlett: Plan B.

  • Bear: SO Stiffy, What do you think?

    Steve Stifler: What the fuck Buffalo Bill?

    Bear: What? Too much pink?

    Steve Stifler: It puts the dress in the drawer and does as it's told.

    Bear: Oh now that's fucked up... THAT'S FUCKED UP!

  • Officer Krystal: Well Mr. Belvedere, its gonna be one fucked up wedding.

    Bear: Absolutely.

  • Bear: [roasting marshmallows] Remember: Turn, don't burn.

  • Bear: [In the bar] How was your night?

    Thais: [Playing Prostitute] Long, hot and sticky

    [Sits down at bar]

    Thais: My feet are killing me!

    Howler: Your feet?

  • Thais: [In the bar] Preacher is one of my charity cases

    Howler: [Surprised] How many charity cases have you got?

    Thais: Two

    [Winks at Bear]

    Bear: Thais!

    Howler: Oh!... Oh!... Ah... Can I be a charity case?

    Thais: No!

    Howler: Oh! Please, please, please!

  • Bear: I am a Comanche. Do you know what it means? It means 'Enemy to everyone'.

    Tanner Howard: Do you know what that makes me? A Comanche.

  • Bob Muldoon: You shot me. Why did you shoot me? I never even seen you.

    Bear: No sir.

    Bob Muldoon: What's this about? Money?

    Bear: It's not you. You and the girl. Everything you tried to do.


    Bear: You're gonna shoot me?

  • Bear: That's the lemon next to the pie.

  • Spectator: Hey, do you surf, man? Are you a surfer?

    Bear: Oh, no... Not me, I'm just a garbage man.

  • BearKaiser: Home again, home again, jiggidy-jig! Gooood Evening, J.F!

  • [discussing the care and feeding of their captive]

    Kelly: How am I supposed to send you to feed the broad when you smell like that? It ain't the gentlemanly thing to do, but I got no choice, so go feed her, Bear.

    Bear: Me? Well, what do you feed one of them rich women?

    Kelly: I don't know. Feed her what you eat.

    Dutch: Remember, if it's a canned good, it's what's in the can. It's not the can!

  • [to Sherry, who is tied to a chair]

    Bear: If I untie you, will you promise not to run away? Promise?

    [Bear unties her ankles and Sherry promptly kicks him in the crotch]

    Bear: Ooof! I guess you don't like sour cream and onion potato chips.

  • Archie: So Bear, I see there's a new man in town.

    Bear: You see right.

    Archie: Is he a friend of yours?

    Bear: Do I look like I have friends?

  • Bear: Not the first time a gun's been pointed at me.

    The Stranger: But it's gonna be the last.

Browse more character quotes from Armageddon (1998)