Barry the Baptist Quotes in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

Barry the Baptist: When you dance with the devil, you wait for the song to stop.

Barry the Baptist: Fucking northern monkeys!

Lenny: I hate these fucking southern fairies!

[after shooting each other]

Gary: What the fuck are you doing here?

Barry the Baptist: What the FUCK are YOU doing here?

Gary: Shotguns? What, like guns that fire shot?

Barry the Baptist: Oh, you must be the brains of the operation. Yes, guns that fire shot.

Barry the Baptist: Hello son, would you like a lolly?

Little Chris: Piss off, you nonce!

Barry the Baptist: Lock, stock, the fuckin' lot.

Gary: So who's the gov'? Who we doing this for?

Barry the Baptist: You're doing it for me, that's all you need to know. You know because you need to know.

Gary: I see. One of them "on a need to know basis" things is it. Like one of them James Bond films.

Barry the Baptist: Careful. Remember who's giving you this job.

Barry the Baptist: If you don't want to be counting the fingers you haven't got, I suggest you get those guns. Quick!

"Hatchet" Harry: It's about time you paid our young friends a visit, Chris. Today's the day and mum's the word, and I can't have that, can I?

Big Chris: No, 'Arry, you can't.

"Hatchet" Harry: I mean, it's a liberty. And I can't have liberties taken, can I, Barry?

Barry the Baptist: No, 'Arry, you can't.

"Hatchet" Harry: I mean, it's enough to give me the arsehole. And I can't have the arsehole, can I, boys?

Big Chris, Barry the Baptist: No, 'Arry, you can't.

Barry the Baptist: [Barry's video monitor is cutting out] Come on! Not now, please, not...

[monitor goes black]

Barry the Baptist: Oh, you fucking bastard.

Barry the Baptist: [answering his phone] What?

Dean: I thought you said there'd be no staff Barry!

Barry the Baptist: Did you get those guns?

Dean: You wanna see what they did to poor Gary?

[calling out to a delirious Gary]

Dean: Gary? Gary?

Barry the Baptist: I said, did you get those guns?

Dean: YES, WE GOT THEM!

Barry the Baptist: Good, I'll speak to you later

[hangs up the phone]

Dean: Gary, if you can hear me, get back in the car now mate okay?

[turning his attention back to Barry]

Dean: Barry? Barry? Fucking sodding shandy-drinking bastard!

"Hatchet" Harry: How did you get your hands on these, then?

Big Chris: The boys had 'em. I know you like these sort of things, wondered if you wanted 'em.

"Hatchet" Harry: Yeah, I'll have 'em.

Barry the Baptist: Was it hard work getting the money?

Big Chris: Not especially. Upset a few characters, though.

"Hatchet" Harry: Have you counted it?

Big Chris: Yeah, it's all there to the pound.

"Hatchet" Harry: And they were gonna pay?

Big Chris: Looks like it. But who knows? The opportunity was there. In my experience, it's best to take that opportunity. If it's there.

"Hatchet" Harry: Good work, Chris.