Barney Rubble Quotes in The Man Called Flintstone (1966)

Barney Rubble: Well, that's what always happens to guys who want to take over the world.

Fred Flintstone: Yeah, they end up out of it.

Fred Flintstone: I'm only one man.

Barney Rubble: Not from the back.

[Dino grabs one of the steaks off the grill and runs away]

Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn, you like your steak rare?

Barney Rubble: Yeah.

Fred Flintstone: That one's yours.

[Barney chases Dino]

Barney Rubble: You're afraid to tell Wilma, aren't you?

Fred Flintstone: [skids the car to an abrupt halt] Afraid? Now let's get this straight, Rubble, I don't need permission from my wife to make a decision. In my cave, I reign supreme, *su-PREME*!

Barney Rubble: I won't tell her, Fred.

Fred Flintstone: [relieved] Thanks, pal.

Fred Flintstone: I just want my old job back and my old life.

Barney Rubble: Hey, Fred.

[waves Fred over and whispers in his ear]

Fred Flintstone: Oh, and two weeks paid vacation for all the men in the quarry, an annual cost-of-living increase, and those little packets of ketchup in the lunch room.

Grizzled Man: Wait, do you know this guy?

Barney Rubble: Know him? He used to be my best friend. Heck, if it weren't for me, this whole mess probably wouldn't have happened.

Grizzled Man: Thanks for telling us. We could've made a very big mistake. Hang both of them!

Barney Rubble: It's like a dream come true. A son. Somebody to carry on the proud name of Rubble. Think I'll be a good daddy, Fred?

Fred Flintstone: Well, you're bound to find something you're good at.

Barney Rubble: Yeah sure, but...

Barney Rubble: [realizes what he said] Hey!

Mrs. Pyrite: Mr. and Mrs. Rubble, this is your little boy.

[Presents Bamm-Bamm]

Betty Rubble: Oh, Barney, isn't he precious?

Fred Flintstone: [aside to Wilma] Precious? They'd have been better off with the monkey.

Wilma Flintstone: Fred!

Betty Rubble: Does he have a name?

Mrs. Pyrite: Bamm-Bamm.

Barney Rubble: Is that short for something?

Mrs. Pyrite: Bamm-Bamm-Bamm. You're going to have to take it slowly with this one. He doesn't speak yet and is a little skittish around humans, but, then again, I would be too if I'd been raised by wild Mastadons. Ha ha ha.

Betty Rubble, Barney Rubble: Mastadons?

Mrs. Pyrite: Let's not nitpick! A mammal's a mammal.

[after Cliff has announced that Fred had won the executive job]

Fred Flintstone: Barney, quick, what's my name?

Barney Rubble: Fred Flintstone!

Fred Flintstone: Don't toy with me, Barn.

Barney Rubble: So, Fred, what am I gonna call you now? Boss? Chief?

Fred Flintstone: No, simply Your Highness will do.

Barney Rubble: Tell me something, Mr. Vice President, what's a graduated inventory plan? How about supply and demand? Hey Fred, what's two and two?

Fred Flintstone: ...I didn't come here to talk business. I'm out with my wife. Now get me a clean spoon.

Barney Rubble: [On Fred's first day of being a VP] Well, guess this is it, Mr. Flintstone. Go get 'em, big guy.

Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn.

Barney Rubble: Yeah, Fred?

Fred Flintstone: Could you spot me a couple bucks for lunch? I'm a little short.

Barney Rubble: You're right, Fred. Nothing's changed.

Betty Rubble: You know, Barney, life is funny. One minute people are your best friends, and the next you're fantasizing they're being ripped apart by a pack of rabid wolves.

Barney Rubble: You too, huh?

Betty Rubble: Oh, Barney, they've changed. I hardly know them since Fred's become a big shot.

Barney Rubble: And it should be us squanderin' all our money and treatin' our friends like dirt.

Betty Rubble: What do you mean?

Barney Rubble: Nothin'. Just sour grapes, I guess.

Betty Rubble: Don't worry, Barney. It's gonna get better. One day, we'll look back on all this, and we'll laugh.

Barney Rubble: Gee, I hope so, Betty, 'cause tomorrow they got me testing shark repellent.

[they both grimace]

Barney Rubble: You know, Fred, I hear that eatin' too much red meat is bad for you.

Fred Flintstone: What a load of bunk! My father ate it every day of his life and he lived to the ripe old age of thirty-eight.

Barney Rubble: Fred, did you hear what happened to everyone at the quarry today?

Fred Flintstone: Yep! A few hours ago, I sent them all off on a nice, long vacation.

Barney Rubble: You mean a permanent vacation?

[to Wilma and Betty]

Barney Rubble: He fired them!

Wilma: Fred! How could you?

Fred Flintstone: I didn't do that!

Barney Rubble: You did, too! It's all over the TV!

Wilma: Fred!

Fred Flintstone: Wilma, who are you gonna believe? Me or some busboy?

Betty Rubble: That busboy is your best friend!

Fred Flintstone: Best friend? Best friend? I lost my best friend the day I became an executive! He's just jealous of my hard-earned success!

Barney Rubble: Hard-earned? Tell me something, Mr. Vice President, what's a graduated inventory plan, huh? How about supply and demand? Hey, Fred! What's two and two?

Fred Flintstone: I didn't come here to talk business, I'm out with my wife! Now... get me a clean spoon.

Barney Rubble: That does it. The only reason you got that job, is because I switched tests with you.

Betty Rubble: Oh, Barney!

Fred Flintstone: Oh, ho-ho! That's rich! What good would it do me to switch tests with the guy that got the lowest score in the quarry?

Barney Rubble: Think about it, Fred.

Betty Rubble: Oh, finally. It all makes sense.

Wilma: You don't believe this, do you?

Betty Rubble: Are you calling my husband a liar?

Wilma: Now, this has gone far enough. After everything that we've done for you. We took you into our home.

Betty Rubble: Oh, yes? So, you can show off every chance you've got.

[Wilma gasps]

Betty Rubble: You used to be such nice people, but now... you're just a couple of rich snobs! Mmm!

Fred Flintstone: Better than being a couple of petty ingrates.

[Betty gasps]

Betty Rubble: [to Barney] Come on, Barney. We are moving out, tonight!

Barney Rubble: Hang on, Betty... I forgot to punch-out.

[Barney punches Fred in the face]

Barney Rubble: It's okay, little guy. I'm your da-da.

Bamm-Bamm: Hi, da-da!

[Pebbles notices to him and gasps]

Barney Rubble: You did it! You called me da-da!

[bonked him in the head]

Fred Flintstone: Ooh! Barney, you lunkhead!

Hoagie: Waka-waka-woo!

Fred Flintstone, Barney Rubble, Joe Rockhead: Waka-waka-woo!

Hoagie: Wooga-wooga-wee!

Fred Flintstone, Barney Rubble, Joe Rockhead: Wooga-wooga wee! Piki-piki-piki, Poki-poki-poki!

[They howling and guests brought the giant cup of lava juice]

Hoagie: Lava juice!

Fred Flintstone: Hey, was that an insult?

Gazoo: Well, if the shoe fits...

Barney Rubble: What's a shoe?

Gazoo: Than I guess it *was* an insult.

Gazoo: I come from a planet too far for you to fathom and a civilization too advanced for you to comprehend.

Barney Rubble: Wait a minute, Fred. I bet, we get wishes!

Gazoo: Pardon?

Barney Rubble: Yeah. We let you out of the fancy bottle and now we get wishes, right?

Fred Flintstone: Yeah, Barney's right. Let's get this started. What do we have to rub?

Gazoo: Nahan, I'm not some sort of friendly cartoon Genie. And that is not a bottle, it is a spacecraft. I'm of a highly evolved alien species. I don't do funny voices, I don't sing catchy songs and i do not posess a magic carpet for your big bloated behinds to float upon! I'm here to observe your species mating rituals. Ok, Dum-Dums?

Barney Rubble: Cranes got trouble, just call Barney Rubble.

Fred Flintstone: My name is Fred Flintstone. F-L-I-N...

Barney Rubble: T

Fred Flintstone: Stone

Barney Rubble: [defending Fred to everyone after he's been accused of robbery] Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute! You're all making a big mistake. Fred couldn't have stolen that necklace. It was locked up in a safe... Fred can't even remember the combination to his bowling locker. Look, he's gotta write it down on his hand, see?

[lifts Fred's hand up in the air where the combination is written]

Fred Flintstone: [jerks away] Aw, great. Now, everybody's seen it.

Barney Rubble: Huh. Crack a safe? He couldn't even crack his knuckles without my help.

[laughs]

Chip Rockefeller: Thank you, Mr. Rubble, for confessing to being Mr. Flintstone's accomplice.

Barney Rubble: You're welcome.

[pauses and realizes]

Barney Rubble: What?

Chip Rockefeller: Take them both away!

[the officers takes Fred and Barney to jail, Everybody cheers]

Chip Rockefeller: Ladies and gentlemen! Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that there is a criminal in our midst...

[Everybody gasps]

Chip Rockefeller: But, before I expose him into the public. I'd like to give him a chance to step forward that admit his wrong doing only to take his first tiny step towards absolution.

Towel Confessor: [sobs] I stole all the towels in my room!

Chip Rockefeller: Well, that is illegal! But, still...

Underwear Confessor: I'm wearing someone else's underwear!

[Everybody gasps and groans]

Chip Rockefeller: No! I was talking about a...

Dinosaur Confessor: I'm systematically poisoning the dinosaurs water supply! In a matter of decades, their entire species will be extinct!

[Everybody laughs]

Chip Rockefeller: All right! This is obviously going nowhere. No, I was talking about a necklace. A very valuable necklace has been stolen from our hotel safe. A necklace belonging to my dear... dear friend, Wilma Slaghoople.

Wilma Slaghoople: My pearls?

Betty O'Shale: Wilma!

Fred Flintstone: All right, who did it? So, help me. If you don't step forward right now, I'll personally punch you in the...

Chip Rockefeller: I don't think violence would be necessary, Flintstone. Because, I know exactly, who stole Wilma's pearls... A desperate man drowning and gambling debts.

Fred Flintstone: Low-life!

Dinosaur Confessor: Hey! Doesn't anybody care about this whole dinosaurs becoming extinct thing?

Chip Rockefeller, Wilma Slaghoople, Betty O'Shale, Fred Flintstone, Barney Rubble, Mick Jagged, Roxie: NO!

[Dinosaur Confessor walks away]