Barnaby Quotes in O Grilo Feliz (2001)

[from English version]

Leonardo: Are you gonna stop singing?

Christopher: No, a cricket can stop hopping. But singing? Never.

Barnaby: [slurping on a drink] And even hopping can be dangerous.

Barnaby: Hello, Griffith Park Zoo, Snake Department. Sssshhh!

Oliver Oxley: Hello? Hello? What is this?

Barnaby: What do you want?

Oliver Oxley: This is Mr Oxley.

Barnaby: I'll see if he's here.

Oliver Oxley: No, I said *this* is Oxley!

Barnaby: Who is?

Oliver Oxley: I am, speaking!

Barnaby: Oh, you're Mr. Speaking...

Oliver Oxley: This is Mr. Oxley speaking!

Barnaby: Oxley Speaking? Any relation to Oxley?

Oliver Oxley: Barnaby Fulton is that you?

Barnaby: Who's calling?

Oliver Oxley: I am, Barnaby!

Barnaby: Oh, no, you're not Barnaby. I'm Barnaby! I ought to know who I am.

Oliver Oxley: This is Oxley speaking, Barnaby!

Barnaby: No, that's ridiculous! You can't be all three. Figure out which one you are and call me back!

Barnaby: [Lois is exposing a beautiful leg to show Barnaby the "new non-rip plastic stockings" he invented. Mr. Oxley enters and is startled] Miss Laurel was just showing me her acetates.

Barnaby: All set. Is you motor running?

Lois Laurel: Is yours?

Barnaby: Takes while to warm up.

Lois Laurel: Does, me too.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: By the way, whose lipstick is it?

Barnaby: Oh, uh, what's her names? Oxley's secretary.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Oh, you mean that little pin up girl? Very cute.

Barnaby: Sort of. But half infant.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Not the half that's visible.

Barnaby: I have a new formula.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Now barnaby, if you start that all over again, so help me, I'll...

Barnaby: Oh, I like that dress, yes.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Oh, you do.

Barnaby: Uh-huh.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Alright, what's the new formula?

Barnaby: Well, it doesn't come in packages or bottles. You're old only when you forget you're young.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Come on, say some more.

Barnaby: Hmmm, it's a word you keep in your heart, a light you have in your eyes, someone you hold in your arms.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: My, I'm glad I'm going out with you tonight.

Barnaby: In my opinion, your opinion that it's a silly song is a silly opinion.

Lois Laurel: Hi Dr Fulton.

Barnaby: Hi.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: What did you say to her?

Lois Laurel: Mrs Fulton. He said "hi".

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: I heard what he said, you peroxide kissing bug!

Barnaby: Edwina, she hasn't done anything.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: I'll pull that blonde hair out by its black roots!

Barnaby: Edwina! Now come along. Miss Laurel, you keep out of the way.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Put 'em up! Put 'em up! Put 'em up!

Barnaby: Alright. Now say terrify.

Lois Laurel: Terrify.

Barnaby: Now say tissue.

Lois Laurel: tissue.

Barnaby: Now say them both fast together.

Lois Laurel: Terrify tissue?

Barnaby: [burst in laughs]

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Don't you remember anything?

Barnaby: Well, sure, the last thing... I was scalping Hank Entwhistle.

Hank Entwhistle: Well, I can only tell you, Mrs. Fulton. If you had been smart enough to marry me instead of...

[points at Barnaby]

Hank Entwhistle: this, you wouldn't be in the kitchen cooking.

Barnaby: No? Where would she be cooking?

Oliver Oxley: [Miss Laurel opens door] I told you I didn't want any calls.

Lois Laurel: Mr. Oxley, Dr. Linten's on the phone. I told him you were busy but he says it's very important.

Oliver Oxley: Who is he?

Lois Laurel: He...

Barnaby: He's my new assistant.

Oliver Oxley: Oh, yes. Just a moment, Miss Laurel. Find someone to type this.

Lois Laurel: Oh, Mr. Oxley, can't I try again?

Oliver Oxley: No, it's very important. Better find somebody to type it for you.

Lois Laurel: Yes, sir.

[Walks to door and closes it]

Oliver Oxley: Anybody can type.

[picks up telephone receiver]

Oliver Oxley: Who did she say was calling?

Barnaby: Dr. Linten.

Oliver Oxley: Oh, yes.

[Speaks to Dr. Linten through receiver]

Oliver Oxley: Yes, Dr. Lintel? Yes? I know he's not there. Dr. Fulton is here with me. Ye - what? Really? What sort of reactions? Why, that's amazing! We'll be right there. Come on, Barnaby. You've done better work than you know.

[Both run to door. Mr. Oxley opens door]

Oliver Oxley: Come along, Miss Laurel. It's amazing.

Barnaby: What's amazing?

Oliver Oxley: Dr. Whatchamacallit says one of your monkeys broke loose. We've got to hurry.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Oh, darling! Stop by the automobile agency. Mr Peabody just called and says he had a very good buy

Barnaby: A good buy? Well, good bye to you!

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: I remember we didn't wanna share each other with anyone. You were so sweet. Remember how the telephone kept ringing for hours and hours and hours?

[doorbell rings]

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: I'll get it.

Barnaby: You see what I mean? Tonight were answering calls.

Barnaby: At 11:52 this morning I took a dose of the formula,and in a few minutes, I began to behave like a college boy with 20/20 vision and no bursitis.

Barnaby: Umph! I'm beginning to wonder if being young is all it's cracked up to be. We dream of youth. We remember it as a time of nightingales and valentines. But what are the facts? Maladjustment, near idiocy, and a series of low comedy disasters. That's what youth is.

Barnaby: Aw, c'mon; let's scalp him!

Little Indian: No; first, we gotta do a war dance!

Barnaby: Now, Edwina, we drove all the way down here to enjoy ourselves and to pursue an important scientific experiment at the same time.

Barnaby: Sodium ascorbate. 3,000 milligrams. You keep quiet Esther.

Barnaby: [grabbing some pruning sheers] Ssh, I'm just getting these to scalp a man.

Barnaby: [to a baby after he coos] No, no familiarities.

Barnaby: [about the baby] We ought to find out who that is.

Barnaby: For lunch, I had roast goose!

Sylvester: That's the way we lost mother.

Barnaby: You are gazing at a happy man.

Sylvester: If he's happy, I'm a chicken!

Mother Goose: Shh.

Barnaby: Not yet, boys. The odds will be better when they're sleeping. We'll wait till nightfall. Come, let us lurk!

Barnaby: Night is about to fall. Five, four, three, two, one.

[darkness suddenly drops over the sky]

Mother Goose: Now, let's see. There's something borrowed, something blue...

[Barnaby enters]

Barnaby: Good day, friends.

Sylvester: And here's something old and ugly too.

Toymaker: We are gathered here today to witness this young lady making her first step toward unhappiness. She's gonna marry you.

Barnaby: What?

Toymaker: Do you Barnaby take Mary to be your wedded wife? To keep her in sickness, in adversity, in poverty, in tragedy, in disaster...

Barnaby: What are you doing?

Toymaker: Well, I was just trying to talk you out of it.

Toymaker: Do you, Barnaby, take Mary to be your wedded wife?

Barnaby: I do.

Toymaker: Are you sure you don't want to think this over?

Gonzorgo: We don't know how to tell you this, Miss Mary. No, we don't know how to tell you this at all. We were 20 leagues at sea and it was calm as it could be, when out of the north, there came a sudden squall! He was standing at the wheel he was, Miss Mary, and across the deck, the might ocean roared, and the mizzen broke and fell and we heard the fellow yell as it bashed him down and swept him overboard!

[sung]

Gonzorgo: Slowly, slowly, he sank into the sea! Though we tried to save him, he sank into the sea!

Mary Contrary: But who, sir? Who sank?

Gonzorgo: It was Tom, ma'am. Tom sank.

Mary Contrary: Tom sank?

Mother Goose: Tom sank?

Sylvester: Who's Tom Sank?

Barnaby: What preposterous rumor are you spreading, sailors? Go on your way, unless you have some evidence, some proof for what you say?

Gonzorgo: Oh, yes, sir!

Mary Contrary: What proof do you have?

Gonzorgo: We are bringing you his personal belongings, and in his hat, we found this soggy note. Though the salty ocean spray somehow washed the words away, I'll see if I can't decipher what he wrote. "Darling Mary," he begins, or is that "dearest"? Yes, that's term he uses we agree. Now the boy goes on to tell how he hopes this finds you well. It's too bad he slowly sank into the sea.

[sung]

Gonzorgo: Slowly, slowly, he sank into the sea! With no life preserver, he sank into the sea!

Mary Contrary: But this was to be our wedding day. Why would Tom be at sea?

Barnaby: Does this letter offer some explanation? I presume he's written more?

Gonzorgo: Oh, yes, sir! "I am poor," the letter reads, "and can't support you, and it's best I sail away to set you free. Noble lady that you are, you'd be better off by far if you were to marry wealthy Barnaby." We advice you to forget him now, Miss Mary, though our condolences to you we will extend, but we'll blame you not, my dear, if you care to shed a tear for the way he met his most untimely end.

[sung]

Gonzorgo: Slowly, slowly, he sank into the sea! To the very bottom, he sank into the sea!

[Rodrigo suddenly sinks in the puddle and then slowly comes back up. Gonzorgo tries to find the hole, but can't]

Sylvester: How about that!

Mary Contrary: [near tears] Oh, my poor brave Tom, sacrificing his life for my welfare!

Mother Goose: Poor Mary. Come, children, in the house.

Sylvester: There's something fishy about this!

Mother Goose: Hush, Sylvester!

Sylvester: Well, I wouldn't trust either one of them, the fat one or the idiot!

Barnaby: I don't mind a double-cross and I don't mind a triple-cross, but see that you execute no quadruple-cross. For this, to me, is insincerity.

Barnaby: [hits Gonzorgo and Roderigo's open hands with his cane] Not now! Tomorrow, when the swelling goes down. Be in my attic when the bank opens.

Barnaby: Item 1:

Gonzorgo: Item 1:

Barnaby: Kidnap Tom.

Gonzorgo: [to Roderigo who is writing down the plan] Kidnap Tom.

[Roderigo makes a motion across his throat with a pencil]

Gonzorgo: No, just kidnap him.

Barnaby: Item Two:

Gonzorgo: Item Two:

Barnaby: Throw him in the sea.

Gonzorgo: [to Roderigo] Throw him in the sea.

[Roderigo again makes a motion to about killing Tom]

Gonzorgo: No, no, just throw him in the sea!

Barnaby: Item Three...

Gonzorgo: Item Three...

Barnaby: Mary's sheep. These sheep support her. Somehow, I must thwart her. She's much too independent with them, therefore, she must be without them. Steal the sheep!

Gonzorgo: [to Roderigo] Steal the sheep!

[Roderigo makes a repeated stabbing motion with his pencil]

Barnaby: [grabs Roderigo around the neck using his cane] No, *steal* them!

Barnaby: Come, let us pussyfoot.

[Barnaby has planned to use the shrinking gun on Tom and he asks Gonzorgo and Roderigo to accompany him, but the now-shrunken Toymaker manages to convince them otherwise]

Gonzorgo: Stop!

Barnaby: I beg your pardon?

Gonzorgo: After talking things over, we have decided not to take part in your diabolical plan. Consider us no longer in cahoots. Furthermore, we are going to expose you to everybody.

Barnaby: [leveling the shrinking gun at his henchmen] Won't you reconsider?

Gonzorgo: Not a chance!

Barnaby: Gentlemen?

Gonzorgo: Now, there's no use in talking about it! We want nothing more to do with it!

Barnaby: Now, I want no mistakes. I want Tom disposed of! And as for Mary's fate... you leave that to me. Come, let us pussyfoot!

Barnaby: Who is it?

Stannie Dum: It's me.

Barnaby: What do you want of this hour of the night?

Stannie Dum: Well, you see, Ollie and I are sorry for what happened this afternoon, and just to show you that we're not mad at you, we brought you a little Christmas present. It's from me and from Ollie.

Stannie Dum: [incredulously] Christmas present in the middle of July?

Barnaby: Oh, oh, yes. you see, we always do our Christmas shopping early. If you'll open the door, I'll bring it right in for you.

Barnaby: I'll be right down.

Barnaby: Big bait catches big rat!

Ollie Dee: Now, you may kiss the bride.

[lifts the veil to reveal Stannie, not Bo Peep. Barnaby looks shocked. Ollie bursts out laughing]

Barnaby: What's the meaning of this?

Ollie Dee: Big bait catches big rat.

Barnaby: The king shall hear of this!

Barnaby: You may go.

Ollie Dee: Thank you, sir.

Stannie Dum: Does that mean we're free?

Barnaby: Yes... And from now on, you and I are going to be very close friends.

Ollie Dee: [disappointed; indicates to Stannie] Does that mean that he doesn't have to be dunked?

Barnaby: Yes.

Stannie Dum: Isn't that nice?

Ollie Dee: What?

Stannie Dum: He and I are just like that. And I don't have to get wet.

Ollie Dee: Oh, is that so?

[shoves Stannie into the pond]

Barnaby: How do you do, my dear Mrs. Peep?

Widow Peep: How do you do, Mr. Barnaby?

Barnaby: And how's your charming daughter, Miss Bo-Peep?

Widow Peep: Very well, thank you.

Barnaby: Then, May I be permitted to pay my respect?

Widow Peep: Sorry. But, she's out tending her sheep.

Barnaby: Thank you.

[Silas Barnaby ties Little Elmer up in his hall, cackling]

Barnaby: Sit still. There.

[takes his hat, to his minion]

Barnaby: Take this evidence and place it in Tom-Tom's house.

[gives him the hat and violin, grabs the sausages, laughs]

Barnaby's Minion: Master? Why's the sausage?

Barnaby: That will prove that he not only stole the pig. But, that he also ground him into sausage.

[His minion nods, walks away and turns back to Elmer]

Barnaby: And now, Little Elmer... Heh-heh. We shall see.

Bo-Peep: Your majesty, you've made a horrible mistake. Tom-Tom knows nothing about this. He's been with me all day.

[turns to Widow Peep]

Bo-Peep: Hasn't he, mumsie?

Widow Peep: That's right, your majesty.

Barnaby: Why not it's the law takes its course, your majesty?

[Toyland crowd yelling]

Barnaby: Residents of Toyland... I want you all to meet: The future Mrs. Silas Barnaby.

[All the Toyland people are booing]

Barnaby: Good morning, my pretty little butterfly.

Bo-Peep: Good morning, Mr. Barnaby.

Barnaby: [shows her the flowers] I bring you a little bouquet. A fragrant token of my deep devotion.

Bo-Peep: [takes the flowers from him] Thank you very much, Mr. Barnaby. And now, I have to leave you, sir. My... my sheep are...

Barnaby: [stops her with his cane] Indeed... I have longer admired you... gazed with wonder on your sweet and maidenly virtue, marveled at your tender loveliness. In short: I'm asking you to become my wife.

Bo-Peep: I... I'm sorry, Mr. Barnaby. And I hope you won't think me ungrateful, But...

Barnaby: I'm a very rich man, my dear.

Bo-Peep: Please.

Barnaby: Think carefully, child. Less I resort to other means. And that would be an ugly way to win a pretty wife.

Bo-Peep: I wouldn't marry you if you were young, which you can't be. If you were honest which you never were and If you were about to die, tomorrow which is too much to hope for!

[drops the flower on him]

Barnaby: We shall meet again, my pretty little buttercup. And then you will sing to a different tune.

[Sheep bleating at him, Barnaby snarls at the sheep, sheep runs away]

Barnaby: Your majesty? What are we waiting for?

Old King Cole: Oh, yes... Proceed with the dunking!

[laughing, Dunker comes to them and unlocking the foot stocks]

Dunker: Come on... You're first. Come on.

[Ollie waving to Stannie]

Stannie Dum: Ollie?

Ollie Dee: What?

Stannie Dum: Here.

[comes back to Stannie Dum]

Stannie Dum: You better give me your watch. I'll hold it for you until you come out.

[Ollie takes the watch from his pocket and give it to Stannie]

Ollie Dee: Thanks. Now, take good care of it. Because, I wouldn't have anything happen to that to the world.

Stannie Dum: I will.

Ollie Dee: Good-bye.

Stannie Dum: Good-bye.

Dunker: Come on?

Ollie Dee: All right.

[Dunker takes him to the dunking chair]

Barnaby: Splendid!

[cackling]

Barnaby: Run over and tell the bride that all is in readiness - and her *lover* is waiting.

Barnaby: Idiot! Dog! Imbecile! Pig!