Barbara Weston Quotes in Kicking & Screaming (2005)

Barbara Weston: [trying to comfort an anguished Phil] Phil, I love you...

Phil Weston: [crying] What does THAT have to do with ANYTHING?

Phil Weston: [passing out DVDs] These are instructional DVDs. Study them. Watch them. I only watched it once and already I learned this - it's called "Up and Over".

[he shows them this new kick, nearly wrecking the fireplace]

Phil Weston: [hears Barbara coming and passes the ball to Mark Avery] Here, hold this.

Barbara Weston: Guys, I told you, no playing soccer in the house.

Phil Weston: You did, you said it a lot.

Barbara Weston: Who did that?

Phil Weston: [pointing to Mark] He did.

The Tigers: HE DID!

Phil Weston: What? Nut'uh!

[the kids all descend upon him]

Phil Weston: Are you a robot-woman? Are you a robot?

Barbara Weston: I am not a robot!

[Phil, Barbara, and Sam arrive at Buck and Janice's home after the game]

Janice Weston: Hi, you guys!

Barbara Weston: Hi!

[hugs Janice]

Barbara Weston: Hi, Buck.

[she kisses him]

Buck Weston: Hey it's my two favorite people and Phil!

Phil Weston: Very funny, Dad. I've never heard that one before.

Phil Weston: [javelin drops just next to Barbara] Sorry. It's really windy!

Barbara Weston: [catching her breath] No it's not.

Phil Weston: It is over there.

Violet Weston: I'm not hungry!

Barbara Weston: Eat the fish, bitch!

Barbara Weston: Thank God we can't tell the future, we'd never get out of bed.

Violet Weston: You can't do this! This is my house! This is my house!

Barbara Weston: You don't get it, do you? You don't get it! I AM running things now!

Barbara Weston: Marriage is hard.

Karen Weston: That's one thing about mom and dad. You gotta tip your hat to anybody who can stay married that long.

Ivy Weston: Karen, he killed himself.

Ivy Weston: Mom, Charles and I...

Barbara Weston: Little Charles.

Ivy Weston: Barbara.

Barbara Weston: You got to say Little Charles or she's not gonna know who you're talking about.

Ivy Weston: Little Charles and I... Little Charles and I...

Violet Weston: Little Charles and you are brother and sister. I know that.

Violet Weston: Karen! Shame on you! Don't you know you're not supposed to say "Cowboys and Indians"? You played "Cowboys and Native Americans". Right, Barb?

Barbara Weston: What are you taking? What pills?

Violet Weston: Oh, leave me alone.

Barbara Weston: It's the pills talking.

Violet Weston: Pills can't talk!

Barbara Weston: Are we breaking shit now, huh? I can break shit! Hey! See, everybody can break some shit!

Barbara Weston: Listen to me! Die after me, alright. I don't care what else you do, where you go, how you screw up your life, just

[pause]

Barbara Weston: survive.

[pause]

Barbara Weston: Please!

Violet Weston: Truth is you just can't compete with a younger woman. It's just one of those unfair things in life. Is there a younger woman involved?

Barbara Weston: Isn't enough on this topic?

Bill Fordham: Yes, there is a younger woman.

Violet Weston: Well, see? Odds are against you there, babe.

Barbara Weston: What were these people thinking, the jokers who settled this place? Who was the asshole that looked at all that flat, hot nothing, and then planted his flag? I mean, we fucked the Indians for this?

Bill Fordham: Well, genocide always seems like such a good idea at the time.

Barbara Weston: It's not my fault. Mom told you, not me.

Ivy Weston: There's no difference.

Bill Fordham: I have not forsook my responsibilities!

Barbara Weston: It's "forsaken," big shot.

Bill Fordham: No, actually, "forsook" is also an acceptable usage.

Barbara Weston: Oh, "forsook" you and the horse you rode in on.

[repeated line]

Barbara Weston: Eat your fish.

Barbara Weston: I want you to know you're not alone, if you need any help.

Violet Weston: No... I dont need help...

Barbara Weston: I-I wanna help...

Violet Weston: I dont need your help.

Barbara Weston: Mom...

Violet Weston: I dont need your help. I have got myself... I know how this goes. Once all the talking is threw, people just go back to their own nonsenses. I know that so, dont worry about me. I will manage.

Bill Fordham: You're so goddam self-righteous, you know that?

Barbara Weston: Surely you must have realized when you started porking Pippi Longstocking that you were due for some self-righteousness, just a smudge of indignation on my part!

Barbara Weston: Holy shit that's Karen! You remember your Aunt Karen?

Jean Fordham: Kind of.

Barbara Weston: And that must be this year's man!

Barbara Weston: And you really haven't been much of a parent lately.

Barbara Weston: But her fourteen-year-old self might view it differently.