Barbara Weston Quotes in Kicking & Screaming (2005)


Barbara Weston Quotes:

  • Barbara Weston: [trying to comfort an anguished Phil] Phil, I love you...

    Phil Weston: [crying] What does THAT have to do with ANYTHING?

  • Phil Weston: [passing out DVDs] These are instructional DVDs. Study them. Watch them. I only watched it once and already I learned this - it's called "Up and Over".

    [he shows them this new kick, nearly wrecking the fireplace]

    Phil Weston: [hears Barbara coming and passes the ball to Mark Avery] Here, hold this.

    Barbara Weston: Guys, I told you, no playing soccer in the house.

    Phil Weston: You did, you said it a lot.

    Barbara Weston: Who did that?

    Phil Weston: [pointing to Mark] He did.

    The Tigers: HE DID!

    Phil Weston: What? Nut'uh!

    [the kids all descend upon him]

  • Phil Weston: Are you a robot-woman? Are you a robot?

    Barbara Weston: I am not a robot!

  • [Phil, Barbara, and Sam arrive at Buck and Janice's home after the game]

    Janice Weston: Hi, you guys!

    Barbara Weston: Hi!

    [hugs Janice]

    Barbara Weston: Hi, Buck.

    [she kisses him]

    Buck Weston: Hey it's my two favorite people and Phil!

    Phil Weston: Very funny, Dad. I've never heard that one before.

  • Phil Weston: [javelin drops just next to Barbara] Sorry. It's really windy!

    Barbara Weston: [catching her breath] No it's not.

    Phil Weston: It is over there.

  • Violet Weston: I'm not hungry!

    Barbara Weston: Eat the fish, bitch!

  • Barbara Weston: Thank God we can't tell the future, we'd never get out of bed.

  • Violet Weston: You can't do this! This is my house! This is my house!

    Barbara Weston: You don't get it, do you? You don't get it! I AM running things now!

  • Barbara Weston: Marriage is hard.

    Karen Weston: That's one thing about mom and dad. You gotta tip your hat to anybody who can stay married that long.

    Ivy Weston: Karen, he killed himself.

  • Ivy Weston: Mom, Charles and I...

    Barbara Weston: Little Charles.

    Ivy Weston: Barbara.

    Barbara Weston: You got to say Little Charles or she's not gonna know who you're talking about.

    Ivy Weston: Little Charles and I... Little Charles and I...

    Violet Weston: Little Charles and you are brother and sister. I know that.

  • Violet Weston: Karen! Shame on you! Don't you know you're not supposed to say "Cowboys and Indians"? You played "Cowboys and Native Americans". Right, Barb?

    Barbara Weston: What are you taking? What pills?

    Violet Weston: Oh, leave me alone.

  • Barbara Weston: It's the pills talking.

    Violet Weston: Pills can't talk!

  • Barbara Weston: Are we breaking shit now, huh? I can break shit! Hey! See, everybody can break some shit!

  • Barbara Weston: Listen to me! Die after me, alright. I don't care what else you do, where you go, how you screw up your life, just


    Barbara Weston: survive.


    Barbara Weston: Please!

  • Violet Weston: Truth is you just can't compete with a younger woman. It's just one of those unfair things in life. Is there a younger woman involved?

    Barbara Weston: Isn't enough on this topic?

    Bill Fordham: Yes, there is a younger woman.

    Violet Weston: Well, see? Odds are against you there, babe.

  • Barbara Weston: What were these people thinking, the jokers who settled this place? Who was the asshole that looked at all that flat, hot nothing, and then planted his flag? I mean, we fucked the Indians for this?

    Bill Fordham: Well, genocide always seems like such a good idea at the time.

  • Barbara Weston: It's not my fault. Mom told you, not me.

    Ivy Weston: There's no difference.

  • Bill Fordham: I have not forsook my responsibilities!

    Barbara Weston: It's "forsaken," big shot.

    Bill Fordham: No, actually, "forsook" is also an acceptable usage.

    Barbara Weston: Oh, "forsook" you and the horse you rode in on.

  • [repeated line]

    Barbara Weston: Eat your fish.

  • Barbara Weston: I want you to know you're not alone, if you need any help.

    Violet Weston: No... I dont need help...

    Barbara Weston: I-I wanna help...

    Violet Weston: I dont need your help.

    Barbara Weston: Mom...

    Violet Weston: I dont need your help. I have got myself... I know how this goes. Once all the talking is threw, people just go back to their own nonsenses. I know that so, dont worry about me. I will manage.

  • Bill Fordham: You're so goddam self-righteous, you know that?

    Barbara Weston: Surely you must have realized when you started porking Pippi Longstocking that you were due for some self-righteousness, just a smudge of indignation on my part!

  • Barbara Weston: Holy shit that's Karen! You remember your Aunt Karen?

    Jean Fordham: Kind of.

    Barbara Weston: And that must be this year's man!

  • Barbara Weston: And you really haven't been much of a parent lately.

  • Barbara Weston: But her fourteen-year-old self might view it differently.

Browse more character quotes from Kicking & Screaming (2005)