Baby Quotes in Baby Driver (2017)

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Baby Quotes:

  • [Baby is sitting at a table in a diner when Deborah, a waitress, notices him]

    Deborah: So are you starting your day or did you just get off?

    Baby: They call; I go. You know?

    [Instantly, Baby's phone buzzes on the table which he catches without looking]

    Deborah: So what is it you do?

    Baby: I'm a driver.

    Deborah: Oh, like a chauffeur? Anyone I'd know?

    Baby: I hope not.

    Deborah: What is your name?

    Baby: Baby.

    Deborah: Your name's Baby? B-A-B-Y Baby?

  • Buddy: Is she a good girl? You love her?

    Baby: Yes, I do.

    Buddy: That's too bad.

  • Baby: Fuck you, Buddy.

  • Baby: One more job and I'm done.

    Doc: "One more job" and we're straight. Now I don't think I need to give you the speech about what would happen if you say no, how I could break your legs and kill everyone you love because you already know that, don't you?

    Baby: Yeah.

  • Johann Krauss: Nice baby.

    Baby: I'm not a baby. I'm a tumor.

  • Baby: It seems that somebody broke into room 3506 last night, beat up on three guys, and took $50,000.

    Nick Wild: And that was before I had my Wheaties.

    Baby: [laughs heartily] If only that were funny.

  • Baby: In my bed, I've got two teddies, I've got a rabbit, I've got two dollies, and one Susan, she's got a bad eye,

    [they cut to other peoples' conversations then back to Emma, still talking]

    Baby: and then I've got a green giraffe which I won at a fair, he was the only one left, I felt *really* sorry for him,

    [cuts back and forth, again]

    Baby: then there's Buzz, Woody, the alien, and then I've got a fluffy pink hot water bottle. So, there's just not enough room for you, mate!

    [pats him on the shoulder which is sweaty and then looks a the sweat that's now on her hand]

    Baby: ... ugh!

  • Spice Girls: We're the Spice Girls, yes indeed. Just Girl Power is all we need. We know how we got this far.

    Ginger Spice: Strength and courage and a Wonderbra!

    Spice Girls: Would this work with only one?

    Baby: Just with me I have no fun.

    Spice Girls: Would this work with only two?

    Scary Spice: We need more for what we do.

    Spice Girls: Would this work with only three?

    Sporty: Three's a crowd, bad company.

    Spice Girls: Would this work with only four?

    Posh: No way, girl, we need one more!

    Spice Girls: Listen up, take my advice - we need five for the power of Spice. Give it up, give it out, take a stand, scream and shout! One, two, three, four, five Spice Girls!

  • Scary Spice: Does anyone know how to deliver a baby?

    Ginger Spice: Don't worry, I know all about home delivery.

    Scary Spice: Yeah, right.

    Ginger Spice: Well, I read it in a book. Okay, the first thing to do is put your legs together!

    Scary Spice: Well that's a bit late! She should have done that nine months ago!

    Nicola: Don't make me laugh, please.

    Scary Spice: Do not make her laugh, else it'll just shoot out like a cannon ball!

    Baby: Seriously, what if the baby comes out right now?

    Posh: Well it's not gonna go very far. I mean, look, she's still got her tights on!

    Ginger Spice: [shouting up Nicola's skirt] Stay up there! We're not ready for you yet!

  • Mr. Step: [Yelling] Righty horrible, lot! Left, right, left, ooh! Ah! Don't give me any of that Julie Andrews hilltop clap trap! I'm your mother now, and I don't mean superior

    [Yelling at Baby Spice]

    Mr. Step: Take that sweet out of your mouth

    [Starts rambling incoherently, then starts half galloping]

    Mr. Step: Right. Now Shootanoo. Shendy. Shendy. Shendy. Shend.

    Ginger Spice: Are you the dance teacher, Mr. Step?

    Mr. Step: [Stops in front of Ginger Spice] That is correct. I'm going to show you pore du bra. Well, that wouldn't really apply to you.

    [Ginger Spice looks at her breasts, Mr. Step starts dancing, and the girls attempt to follow along]

    Mr. Step: Oh. Mama. Oh, Ma. Oh, oh, oh Mama. Mama. Oh ma. Mama.

    [Stops dancing]

    Baby: You know, we can't dance like that.

    Mr. Step: Yes, I know, I've seen your videos.

    [Starts laughing]

    Scary Spice: This is ridiculous. Let's just do our own thing.

    Mr. Step: Ah! Don't even understand things, they're so strange. That's it, we're gonna get fit, fit, fit, fit, fit! One, two, one, two, three four...

    [the girls start dancing, Mr. Step notices and decides to go along with it]

    Mr. Step: One, two, one, two, three, four. One, two, one, two, three, four. One, two, one, two, three, four. One, two, one, two, three, four.

    Spice Girls: [singing] Never give up on the good times, gotta believe in the love you find. Never give up on the good times, living it up is a state of mind

    Mr. Step: [Starts marching, the girls follow] I love it! Make your mother proud of you. What sort of men are you anyway/ left, right, left, right, left, right. Left, right, left, right, left, right. Right then, Spice Girls, regimental calls!

  • Clifford: Look at this! Front page news, again. Suppose the whole lot of you'd been drowned.

    Ginger Spice: Well, we weren't though, were we?

    Posh: Speak for yourself.

    Clifford: What did you think you were doing? Going off like that?

    Scary Spice: We were just having fun!

    Clifford: What?

    Baby: Fun! You know, like ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

    Sporty: Look, Clifford, we're old enough to take responsibility for our own lives, do you know what I mean?

    Clifford: You don't have a life, you have a schedule! You are part of a well-oiled, global machine! There are people everywhere working their butts off for you! People like Deborah, here.

    Deborah: Oh, can we leave my butt out of this, please?

    Ginger Spice: Oh, just don't be so uptight, Clifford.

    Clifford: Uptight? Uptight? You've got a live gig here tomorrow. It's my job to see that you turn up. My bum is on the line, here!

    Posh: Can you please leave butts and bums out of this, for one minute?

    Sporty: Clifford, some things are more important than gigs, you know.

    Clifford: Like what?

    Ginger Spice: Like self respect and our freedom, for a start!

    Baby: Yeah, and friendship!

    Clifford: What are you saying? You-you don't want to turn up here, tomorrow night?

    Ginger Spice: [defiantly] Well, maybe we don't.

    Baby: What'd you say that for?

    Ginger Spice: I don't know, I just said it.

  • Deborah: He didn't mean that!

    Clifford: [defiantly] Oh, didn't I?

    Baby: [Tearfully] Look, can we please stop arguing?

    Posh: When you know exactly what we're supposed to be doing. Will somebody please let me know?

    [she storms off]

    Scary Spice: [Angrily] Oh great, Clifford! Now look what you've gone and done!

    Clifford: Well, that's just too bad!

    Scary Spice: Well yeahj it is too bad cos you know what? I'm going home now, see ya!

    [follows Victoria]

    Clifford: Bye!

    Baby: Look can we stop? All this, this is doing my head in.

    [exits]

    Sporty: [follows her bandmate in concern]

    Sporty: Emma!

    [runs after her]

    Sporty: [a long oause ensues, and only Geri is left]

    Ginger Spice: I hope you know what you're doing, cos if you're looking for a fight. you're gonna lose!

  • Posh: [after the girls hear noises in the night and after running into each other and scaring themselves, seek refuge in Victoria's room] It's pathetic, you know, that we can't even sleep in our own rooms

    Sporty: Yeah, I don't know what we're making such a fuss for, it's only an old house!

    Posh: A big old house

    Baby: [very scared] A big old scary haunted, big old house!

  • Ginger Spice: [as Sporty Spice] Hup! Hup! Hup! I'm so Sporty!

    [Kicks at the camera]

    Ginger Spice: Ha! Hup! Hup!

    Baby: [as Scary Spice] Rah!

    Posh: [as Baby Spice] My mummy's my best friend. Shh!

    Sporty: [as Posh Spice] I'm just too Posh.

    Ginger Spice: [as Sporty Spice] When's Liverpool gonna win the cup, like, eh?

    Baby: [as Scary Spice] Are we finished yet?

    Scary Spice: [as Ginger Spice] Um, blah, blah, blah. And, Girl Power. Feminism, d'you know what I mean?

    Baby: [as Scary Spice] Oh no!

    Ginger Spice: [as Sporty Spice, jumps onto the runway] Yo!

    Scary Spice: [as Ginger Spice] I feel as though I'm bein' strangled. How do you feel?

    Sporty: [as Posh Spice] Really uncomfortable!

    Posh: [as Baby Spice] Well, I just nearly fell off these shoes and sprained my ankles.

    Baby: [as Scary Spice] These things are really tight. They go right up my bum.

    Ginger Spice: [as Sporty Spice] There are really comfy, actually.

    Sporty: [as Posh Spice] Don't even think about it!

    Baby: [as Scary Spice] I'm off. I'm gettin' these off! Bring me some platforms

    Scary Spice: [as Ginger Spice] How can you wear these things?

    Ginger Spice: [as Sporty Spice] You look a pile of crap in my clothes, anyway.

  • Clifford: Well done girls, excellent performance

    Scary Spice: What are you talking about, you weren't even watching Clifford!

    Clifford: Yes I was!

    Sporty: Don't lie, no you weren't!

    Clifford: I sensed the vibes! I have an excellent vibe sensor right here

    Scary Spice: Yeah right.

    Baby: He just doesn't love us anymore!

    Clifford: Oh yes I do. I love you like a wildebeest loves five lionesses chewing at his legs!

    Baby: Rawr!

  • [Clifford sits silently backstage, panicked that the girls really aren't going to show up for the concert. Finally he speaks to the documentary camera]

    Clifford: Okay. So this is the plan. The band starts up, the fans go wild, the lights come on, and I walk center stage and hang myself.

    [to the camera man]

    Clifford: Oh by the way this is my good side.

    [back to the audience]

    Clifford: My final words are, "The Spice Girls? I hate them!"

    [Suddenly the girls burst through the door shouting and laughing]

    Scary Spice: Hey! What you doing sitting around?

    Baby: Come on! We got a show to do!

    Ginger Spice: How ya doing?

    Sporty: Where are the mics?

    Posh: Where are the clothes!

    Scary Spice: And where are the bacon butties?

    Clifford: I love those girls! I love those girls!

  • Sporty: [after falling into the bus] Victoria!

    Posh: Sorry!

    Graydon: [Describing the events as they are happening] Now they're coming up on the tower bridge.

    Voice of Bridge Keeper: Attention, please. Your attention, please. The bridge will shortly be lifted.

    Graydon: The road is rising right in front of them to let a boat through!

    Posh: The bridge is going up!

    Graydon: They can't believe it!

    Scary Spice: Oh, my god! I don't believe it!

    Graydon: Are they crazy enough to try and jump the gap?

    [Sporty, Baby, Ginger, and Scary put on their "game faces"]

    Posh: Hold onto your knickers, girls!

    Graydon: Hey, baby! These are the Spice Girls, of course they're gonna go for it! Up it goes. A five ton London bus sailing through the air at seventy miles an hour! It's incredible!

    Martin Barnfield: It's expensive!

    [the Spice Bus easily jumps the gap]

    Martin Barnfield: Um... not necessarily.

    Graydon: But then, just when you think they're safe, they discover the bomb.

    Martin Barnfield: What bomb?

    Baby: [Opens up a secret door, looks at the bomb, and screams]

    Graydon: That bomb.

    Scary SpiceGinger SpiceSportyBabyPosh: [All scream]

    Martin Barnfield: Why?

    Graydon: Those are the rules.

    Martin Barnfield: My god, I've had enough of the rules!

    [Attempts to choke Graydon, but Clifford holds him back]

    Martin Barnfield: What are you trying to do, kill them? No more! They've suffered enough! Please!

    Graydon: All right! All right! They... they run up the steps to the Albert Hall, zoom past the guards, hurdle down the corridor, and they burst through that door right there.

    [Points to the door]

    Clifford: [Watches the door, expecting to see the Spice Girls run in. When they don't, he attemspt to choke Graydon. Martin tries to hold him back] You lied to me!

    Martin Barnfield: Hey! Hey! Hey, now! Hey! Hey! That's enough of that!

    Clifford: Where are they?

    Graydon: [Still choking] I'll rewrite it.

  • Scary Spice: [the girls are in the woods at night and frightened] Something just pushed past me, and I'm not joking!

    Ginger Spice: Probably one of those disgusting beasts want to eat you.

    Baby: [frightened] Ugh!

    Sporty: [the girls hear a loud, strange noise that sounds like a fart] Oh pack it in, Mel!

    Scary Spice: [indignantly] It wasn't me!

  • Sporty: [the girls see a spaceship] What's that?

    Ginger Spice: Oh my God, run for it!

    Baby: I can't move!

    Alien 1: [the aliens land their spaceship and walk out]

    [in alien language]

    Alien 1: It's them! It's them! Look!

    Alien 2: [in alien language] Are you sure?

    Alien 1: [in alien language] Yes! There's the little blonde one.

    Alien 2: [in alien language] That's what you said before - and it was a sheep!

    Scary Spice: [one of the aliens tries to touch Scary's breast] Oi! Get off!

    Sporty: [exasperated] Mel, you've done it now!

    Alien 1: [in alien language] I told you shake hands!

  • Baby: We've got to see Nicola in the morning. The baby's overdue.

    Clifford: Babies are allowed to be overdue you're not.

  • Nicola: Is it a boy or a girl?

    Baby: It's a beetroot!

    Sporty: It's a girl!

  • Baby: [as they discuss further movie roles in the end credit] And I don't want to me nice all the time. Maybe I could slap somebody, like Victoria here.

    Posh: [indignantly] Emma!

  • Baby: [Who Do You Think You Are plays] I love this song.

    Ginger Spice: That's cause we wrote it.

  • Graydon: [Describes what's going on throughout the entire scene] He crashes to the ground. And now the girls come face-to-face with their tabloid tormentor. The evil reporter has been unmaksed and in that moment, Damien's whole worthless life flashes before his eyes because, the girls have made him realize that he's been living a meaningless lie.

    Damien: [Lying on the ground, in pain] Oh, d'you know what, girls... you've made me realize... I've been... living a meaningless lie.

    Graydon: It's his character's one defining moment, and there isn't a dry seat in the house.

    Martin Barnfield: I'm wet already.

    Clifford: So, then what? Is that the end?

    Graydon: No! Damien goes after the really big evil boss, McMaxford.

    Clifford: Well, what about the girls?

    Graydon: Well, the girls, they've gotta get to Albert Hall, right? I mean, they've been at the hospital for twelve hours.

    Baby: Dennis!

    Posh: Out of the ways girls?

    Scary Spice: What are you doing?

    Posh: Fasten your seatbelts.

    [Gets in the driver's seat of the Spice Bus, puts her seatbelt on, presses down on the gas pedal, and starts driving like a lunatic]

    Dennis: [Getting up off the ground] Hey! That's my bus!

    Posh: Come on! What are you doing? What's the matter, are you blind? Come on, what are you doing? Get out of the way! Get out of the way! Sunday drivers! It's only Saturday!

    Graydon: And now the Spice Bus is racing across London, through Trafalger's Square. Pigeons are flying up. Guys are diving into fountains. And as it zooms through them all, past Bukingham Palace, Prince William is there. He's looin' at the window through a curtain. He turns to the Queen! The Queen, man! And he says "Oi, granny, look. It's the Spice Girls. They're on telly in a minute". And the Queen looks out and says "Oh, you're right. Isn't that the Posh one drivin'?"

    Baby: Look, there's the Queen! Hi, William!

    Ginger Spice: Hi, Charlie.

    Scary Spice: Hello, Harry.

    Graydon: And then, suddenly, they're on top of the bus.

    Clifford: Why?

    Martin Barnfield: The rules!

    Graydon: Right, right, the rules. Anyhow, there they are, standing in gale-force winds. Holding on for dear life. Emma slips, but Geri grabs her. But then Geri slips, so Mel B grabs her. But then, she slips, so Mel C grabs her. Four? Wait, that's four. Oh, there's one driving, right. Anyway, they're standing on top of a bus, whiplashing back and forth, about to be turned into Spice Jam!

    Martin Barnfield: Oh, my god!

    Clifford: And...?

    Graydon: Two old nuns in a mini-metro pull up right in front of them. The braking tumbles the girls back into the bus.

  • Ginger Spice: [the girls are talking about male and female body language] Apparently there are these animals in the jungle or the rainforest or somewhere like that. Anyway, when the male's courting the female, he goes up to her and pees on her.

    [the rest of the girls make disgusted noises]

    Sporty: Geri, did you have to?

    Ginger Spice: No, but it's his way of showing he fancies her, and the thing is, they get it on afterwards and mate.

    Baby: Well, called me old fashioned but I'd much prefer a bunch of flowers.

  • Posh: Was that really worth it?

    Sporty: I'm so glad we've got the morning off.

    Baby: Yeah. First time in over a month, Clifford.

    Scary Spice: Are we there yet?

  • Baby: You're the best kisser in the whole wide world, Fryburg.

    Fryburg: I'm gonna make out with your whole family, baby.

  • Baby: Dad?

    Nick Murder: Yeah.

    Baby: I'm going into wedlock.

  • Rosebud: [singing] We are beautiful. We are not ugly.

    ConstanceBabyRosebud: We are angry!

  • [last lines]

    [dialog is not as loud as the song and is difficult to follow]

    Assistant to Milo: Trying to

    [unintelligible]

    Assistant to Milo: one is bigger than the other one.

    Milo O'Brannigan: OK, go on. Put the diapers on the kids, will you?

    Baby: Mama!

    Milo O'Brannigan: Come on, Winnie. All right. I guess just about here is about right, okay. Try it there.

    Assistant to Milo: [unintelligible]

    Milo O'Brannigan: [overlapping] Okay?

    Milo O'Brannigan: Hi, sweetie.

    Assistant to Milo: The shadow or - and the sun? I know.

    Milo O'Brannigan: Okay, let's go. Got it. Here, here.

    Assistant to Milo: [unintelligible]

    [shutter clicking several times]

  • Mr. Weathersby: [last lines - smelling the baby's diaper] Brian, there's a goose loose in the caboose, and I've long since graduated from that detail.

    baby: [wailing]

    Mr. Weathersby: Champagne. Cocktails. Drinks. Encores. Come on everyone, we must drink up. Hey, one big fucking day...

  • Baby: If you ain't livin' you're dyin', Earl. I wanna live.

  • Baby: You mad, Earl?

    Earl: No, Baby, I ain't mad at you. I'm pretty sure Junior ain't gonna be none to happy with it, though.

  • Baby: Earl Crest, you better get over here. I can't be no soap opera actress if I'm missin' digits.

  • Baby: Wait 'til I tell Raylene I was interrogated by the police for killin' Tinker Johnson. She'll be so jealous.

  • Earl: You ever get the feeling you're, like, being watched, Baby?

    Baby: You mean by horny guys?

  • Baby: After work I think I'm gonna go home and change.

    Earl: I don't see the point though, Baby. You just can't improve on perfection.

  • Baby: Earl Crest, don't you know it ain't polite to stare?

    Earl: Well, Baby, it's only natural for a man to stare when he sees the prettiest gal west of Mississippi.

    Baby: Just west?

  • Baby: Damn, Earl, you're twenty-three going on eighty!

  • Jimbo: I'm gonna kill Tinker for shooting you.

    Earl: Well, Jimbo, I think Baby already beat you to it.

    Baby: Damn right.

  • Baby: You want me to come with you? It's my day off.

    Earl: No, Baby, I don't intend on killing anyone today so your services won't be needed.

  • Baby: [to Tinker] Didn't I kill you once already today, boy?

  • Baby: [to Jimbo] You better keep his ass in line.

  • Juan Vasquez: I'm gonna shoot your psycho chick.

    Baby: Oh, you better not!

  • Baby: [to Junior] You shot my fiancé, now I'm gonna show you how it feels.

    [picks up the gun]

    Earl: Uh, baby? Would you mind putting off shooting Junior until after you take me to see Doc Cragen?

    Baby: [throws the gun off somewhere in the tall grass] Whatever you say, honey.

  • Baby: Hey.

    Earl: Hey yourself.

    Baby: How you feeling?

    Earl: I'm feeling all right... all bullet wounds considered.

  • Baby: Chinese, Japanese, Dirty knees, look at these!

    [shows her breasts]

  • Baby: I bet all the girls wanna fuck you.

    Roy Sullivan: Would you say that again?

    Baby: I bet all the girls wanna fuck you.

    [mutual laughter]

    Roy Sullivan: Do you kiss your mama with that mouth?

    Baby: Trust me, fella. That ain't the only thing I do with this mouth.

  • Baby: [in the motel room] So what do you wanna do?

    [Gloria shakes head]

    Wendy Banjo: Help!

    [screams from a window in the bathroom]

    Baby: I knew that fucking cunt would do something stupid! Shut up! Open the fucking door! Open the goddamn door!

    Gloria Sullivan: [pulls a gun on Baby] Hold it!

    Wendy Banjo: [continues screaming after breaking the window] Somebody help me!

    Baby: [back to motel room] What are you gonna do? Shoot me? What did I ever really do to you?

    [holding a knife behind her back]

    Gloria Sullivan: I swear I'll do it! I'll kill you!

    Baby: Why would you wanna kill me? I'm your only hope. My brother's fucking crazy, you've seen him.

    Gloria Sullivan: [Yells to Wendy from the room] Wendy it's all right! Come on out!

    [Baby plunges the knife into Gloria's chest]

    Gloria Sullivan: [Gloria drops to her knees and pulls the knife out from her chest]

    Baby: [pulls down jeans and shows her rear] Go ahead, shoot me. Shoot me right on the ass!

    [Gloria pulls the trigger, but the gun is empty]

    Baby: Stupid cunt. There ain't no bullets in this thing. It's all fucking mind power.

  • BabyCaptain J.T. Spaulding: Tutti Fuckin Fruity!

  • Baby: [taunting Gloria] Shoot me! Shoot me right in the ass!

  • Baby: [after Charlie Altamont pulls out a gun] What the fuck is this shit?

    Otis B. Driftwood: You bring us all the way out here and this prick pulls a gun on us? Nice fuckin' plan, daisy!

    Captain J.T. Spaulding: Just do it! He's a crazy, pig-fuckin'...

    Charlie Altamont: What you call me?

    Captain J.T. Spaulding: Well if you'd give me a chance, I was gonna call you a crazy, pig-fuckin', dumbass, pussy piece of shit!

  • Baby: Just in case anyone's interested, I think I'm gonna be wanting some ice cream in about 10 miles.

    Otis: [in a mocking tone] "I think I'm gonna be wanting some ice cream in about 10 miles."

    Baby: Don't you fucking imitate me, it's fucking rude!

    [mocking]

    Baby: "I know what I know and I know I don't like that nut sack... "

    Otis: Fuck you.

    Baby: Fuck you!

    Captain J.T. Spaulding: Two fucking seconds for the kid, is that gonna kill you?

    Otis: Yes, it is going to kill me! I have calculated the time, and two seconds is the exact amount of time that is a hazard to my fucking health.

    Baby: What the fuck is your problem? I'm in and out in two seconds!

    Captain J.T. Spaulding: You know? I think I'm gonna get me some tutti fucking fruity.

    Baby: Tutti fucking fruity, that sounds good!

  • Baby: I love famous people! They're even better than the real thing, ya know?

  • Otis B. Driftwood: Hurry up and don't take too fucking long.

    Baby: Fuck you!

    Otis B. Driftwood: Fuck you!

    Baby: Fuck you!

  • Baby: God dammit look at that jacket.

    Otis B. Driftwood: What?

    Baby: On TV.

    Otis B. Driftwood: What? Fuck the TV!

    Baby: Fuck the TV? Fuck you!

    Otis B. Driftwood: Hey fuck you! Will you just keep your head in the business at hand here!

  • Baby: Woo hoo! I feel like we're all really getting to know each other now!

  • Baby: You better make this next one FUCKING count!

  • Baby: Meow meow, here pussycat.

  • Baby: Well Roy Sullivan, you gonna take me back to your room and play with me?

    Roy Sullivan: My wife's in that room.

    Baby: Or is my brother going to have to shoot your fuckin' teeth outta your head?

  • Baby: You could go piss yourself for all I care. If you want special favours you gotta give me something in return.

  • Baby: Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you.

  • Baby: I carried a watermelon.

    [Johnny walks away]

    Baby: [to herself] Carried a watermelon?

  • Baby: [finding out the Schumacher's were guilty of stealing the wallets] So then - so then it's all right! I knew it would work out. I knew they'd have to apologize...

    Johnny: [shrugs her off] I'm out, Baby.

    Baby: [pause] They fired you anyway because of me.

    Johnny: [sarcastically] And if I leave quietly, I'll get my summer bonus.

    Baby: So I did it for nothing. I hurt my family, you lost your job anyway, I did it for *nothing*!

    Johnny: No, no, not for nothin', Baby! Nobody has ever done anything like that for me before.

    Baby: You were right, Johnny. You can't win no matter what you do!

    Johnny: You listen to me. I don't wanna hear that from you. *You* can!

    Baby: [pause] I used to think so.

  • Baby: Oh, yes, as a matter of fact it is. We're supposed to do the show in two days, you won't show me the lifts, I'm not sure of the turns, I'm doing all this to save your ass, what I really want to do is drop you on it!

  • Johnny: I'll never be sorry.

    Baby: Neither will I.

  • Baby: [talking about Penny] So what's wrong? What's the matter with her?

    Billy Kostecki: She's knocked up, Baby.

    Johnny: Billy!

    Baby: [eyeing Johnny] What's he gonna do about it?

    Johnny: [angrily] What's he gonna to do about it? Oh, it's *mine*, right? Right away you think it's *mine*.

  • [first lines]

    Radio disc jockey: [on radio] Hi, everybody, this is your Cousin Brucie. Whoa! Our summer romances are in full bloom, and everybody, but everybody's in love. So cousins, here's a great song from The Four Seasons.

    Baby: [voiceover] That was the summer of 1963 - when everybody called me Baby, and it didn't occur to me to mind. That was before President Kennedy was shot, before the Beatles came, when I couldn't wait to join the Peace Corps, and I thought I'd never find a guy as great as my dad. That was the summer we went to Kellerman's.

  • Lisa Houseman: I've decided to go all the way with Robbie.

    Baby: Oh, Lisa, no. Not with someone like him.

    Lisa Houseman: Do you think if we came back here for a our tenth anniversary, it would be free?

    Baby: It-it's just wrong this way. It should be with someone - it should be with someone that you sort of love.

    Lisa Houseman: Oh, come on. You don't care about me. You wouldn't care if I humped the entire army... as long as they were on the right side of the Ho Chi Minh Trail.

  • Baby: Have you had many women?

    Johnny: What?

    Baby: Have you *had* many women?

    Johnny: Baby, come on.

    Baby: Tell me. I wanna know.

    Johnny: No, no. Look, you've gotta understand what it's like, Baby. You come from the streets and suddenly you're up here, and these women, they are throwing themselves at ya, and they smell so good, and they really take care of themselves. I mean, I never knew women could be like that, you know? And they're so rich, they're so goddam rich, you think they must know about everything. And they're slipping their room keys in my hands, two and three times day, different women. So, here I think I'm scoring big, right? And for a while, you think, hey, they wouldn't be doing this if they didn't care about me, right?

    Baby: That-that's alright, I understand. You were just using them, that's all.

    Johnny: No, no that's not it. That's the thing, Baby, see it wasn't like that. They were using me.

  • Lisa Houseman: Oh, my God. Look at that! Ma, I should have brought those coral shoes. You said I was taking too much!

    Marjorie Houseman: Well, sweetheart, you brought ten pairs.

    Lisa Houseman: But the coral shoes match that dress!

    Jake Houseman: This is not a tragedy. A tragedy is three men trapped in a mine, or police dogs used in Birmingham.

    Baby: Monks burning themselves in protest.

    Lisa Houseman: Butt out, Baby.

  • Johnny: What's your real name, Baby?

    Baby: Frances. For the first woman in the Cabinet.

    [laughs]

    Johnny: Frances. That's a real grown up name.

  • Johnny: [talking about Neil] That little wimp. He wouldn't know a new idea if it hit him in the Pachenga. He wanted some new ideas? I could've *told* him some new ideas!

    Baby: Well, why did you let him talk to you that way?

    Johnny: What do you mean, and fight the bossman?

    Baby: Yeah, tell him your ideas! He's a person like everyone else. I'm sure he'll think they're great.

    Johnny: Look, I know these people, Baby. They're all rich and they're mean. They won't listen to me.

    Baby: Well, then why not fight harder? *Make* them listen?

    Johnny: Because, I need this goddamn job lined up for next summer!

    [chuckles scornfully]

    Johnny: My dad calls me today, he says - with good news - you know, he says, "Uncle Paul can finally get you in the union."

    Baby: Oh, what-what union?

    Johnny: The House Painters and Plasterers, local number 179, at your service.

    [Baby's father, sister, and Robbie come out of the house next to the trail; Baby pulls Johnny down so they won't see them together]

    Lisa Houseman: I've been thinking a lot about the Domino Theory. Now, when Vietnam falls, is China next?

    [the trio passes]

    Baby: I don't think they saw us.

    Johnny: [getting up] Fight harder, huh? I don't see you fighting so hard, Baby. I don't see you running up to daddy telling him I'm your guy.

    Baby: I will. With my father, it's complicated. I *will* tell him, I...

    Johnny: I don't believe you, Baby! I don't think that you ever had any intention of telling him. Ever.

    [stalks off]

  • Jake Houseman: Max, our Baby's gonna change the world.

    Max: [to Lisa] And what are you gonna do, missy?

    Baby: Oh, Lisa's going to decorate it.

    Robbie Gould: She already does.

  • Robbie Gould: I didn't blow a summer hauling toasted bagels just to bail out some little chick who probably balled every guy in the place.

    [Baby is pouring water into glasses for him]

    Robbie Gould: A little precision please, Baby. Some people count and some people don't.

    [brings out a copy of The Fountainhead from his pocket]

    Robbie Gould: Read it. I think it's a book you'll enjoy, but make sure you return it; I have notes in the margin.

    Baby: You make me sick. Stay away from me, stay away from my sister or I'll have you fired.

    [Baby pours the jug of water on his crotch]

  • Baby: Who's that?

    [they look over at Johnny and Penny dancing]

    Neil Kellerman: Oh, them. They're the dance people. They're here to keep the, uh, guests happy.

  • Billy Kostecki: [Watching Penny and Johnny dance] You'd think they were a couple, wouldn't ya?

    Baby: Well, aren't they?

    Billy Kostecki: Naw, not since we were kids.

  • Neil Kellerman: I have to say it. I'm known as the catch of the county.

    Baby: I'm sure you are.

    Neil Kellerman: But, last week, I took a girl from Jamie, the lifeguard. And he said to her, right in front of me, "What does he have that I don't have?" And she said, "Two hotels."

  • Marjorie Houseman: Look at all of this leftover food. Are there still starving children in Europe?

    Baby: Try South East Asia, Ma.

    Marjorie Houseman: Right.

  • Otis: I'm the one who brings the Christmas candy. Now tell me, who's your daddy? I'm the one who brings the devil's brandy.

    Mother: Who's your daddy?

    Otis: I'm the one who beats you when you're bad.

    Baby: Who's your daddy?

    Mother: Who's your daddy?

    Otis: [walking to Denise, while wearing her father's skin] Come on, sweetie. Give the old man some sugar.

    Denise Willis: Daddy, Daddy.

    Otis: [taking off his robe] And I'm the one who loves ya when you're fucking dead!

  • Mary Knowles: [sees Baby on Bill's lap] Get off him!

    [Baby doesn't budge]

    Mary Knowles: I said get the fuck off him you stupid fucking whore! Fucking slut!

    [Mary pushes Baby to the ground]

    Baby: Oh, you shouldn't have done that!

    Mary Knowles: Oh, really? Are you gonna do something about it?

    Baby: I'll do something, motherfucker.

    [pulls out a knife]

    Baby: I'll fucking cut your tits off and shove 'em down your throat!

  • Baby: We like to get fucked up, and do fucked up shit.

  • [after stabbing a victim to death]

    Baby: 'Shoo, shoo,' said the maiden.

    [laughs maniacally]

    Baby: 'Come, maiden,' said the rabbit, 'sit on my tail and go with me to my rabbit hutch.'

  • Otis: Hey, happy boy, step your ass up here.

    Baby: Take his gag out. It's more fun with the screaming.

    Mother: I like that too. That screaming is much more exciting that way.

    [They remove Jerry's gag]

    Jerry Goldsmith: Please don't kill us, please don't kill us.

    Baby: [imitating Jerry] Please don't kill us... nah... please don't kill us.

    Otis: Shut your mouth and get your shit in the box. Get in now.

    Mother: Wait, wait, wait... I wanna say goodbye.

    [Mama Firefly grabs Jerry by the collar and gives him a big kiss]

    Mother: Goodbye, sweetie. We could've been great.

    Otis: Ain't we just having a fucking hoot?

    Jerry Goldsmith: Just let us go, I swear to God we won't tell anyone. I swear...

    Mother: Honey, you know I can't do that.

    Otis: Ain't we just having a fucking hoot?

    Rufus 'R.J.' Firefly Jr.: Get your fucking ass up, boy.

    Otis: Come on, we ain't got all night.

    [Rufus grabs Jerry and body slams him into the coffin while Mary breaks free and runs off]

    Otis: Where does she think she's gonna run to? She gonna run all the way home?

    Baby: No, let me get her.

    Otis: All right, go get her.

  • Baby: Give me a "B", give me an "A", give me a "B" give me a "Y", What's that spell? What's that spell? WHAT'S THAT SPELL?

  • Baby: There once was a woman who lived with her daughter in a cabbage garden; along came a rabbit and ate up all the cabbages; the woman said, "Go into the garden and drive out the rabbit."

  • Bill Hudley: Mmmm tasty.

    Baby: Ain't the only thing tasty in this house.

  • Baby: You know we like to get fucked up?

    Gerry Ober: Yeah, I like to get fucked up too!

    Baby: Yeah, I'll bet you do.

  • Baby: Hey, Poopy-pants. What's new?

  • Baby: So, how much we owe you, Goober?

    Gerry Ober: Oh, that's supposed to be G. Ober, for Gerry Ober, but Karl went and put an extra "o" made it Goober. Fucking asshole.

    Baby: Great story, Goober. How much we owe you?

    Gerry Ober: Well, the damage is pretty severe... $185.

    Baby: That ain't gonna break my bank, hon. Here, keep the change. Go buy yourself a new name... Goober!

  • Baby: Whatever you need to do, you do it. There is no wrong. If someone needs to be killed, you kill 'em. That's the way.

  • Baby: These are all my dolls. I used to like to chop their heads off and their arms and stick 'em up on the wall.

  • Baby: You gotta have the marshmallows, that's what makes it fun.

  • Baby: Whoopy-fucking-doo.

  • Baby: Hey wanna play a guessing game? Guess what number i'm thinking of.

    Jerry Goldsmith: Eat shit and die.

    [Baby starts cutting Jerry's hair with the scissors]

    Jerry Goldsmith: No wait please come on stop it! What do you want? What do you want from me? What do you want from us?

    Baby: Please be quiet I don't wanna slip. Ok one more. You get this right, i'll let ya go. If you get it wrong you are fucked! Ok, whose my favourite movie star?

    Jerry Goldsmith: I don't know... M... Marilyn Monroe!

    Baby: Hmmm... no Betty Davis! Sorry you lose!

    [Baby scalps Jerry]

  • Gerry Ober: Let me take a guess here, y'all are having a Halloween party tonight huh?

    Baby: Now what makes you think that big boy?

    Gerry Ober: Well you sure are buying a whole mess of holy water for two people.

    Baby: Yeah we like to get fucked up and do fucked up shit, you know what I mean?

    Gerry Ober: Yeah I like to get fucked up to and do some fucked up shit.

    Baby: Yeah I bet you do.

  • Baby: The door's locked. I'll gotta go around... wait here.

  • Bill Hudley: Christ, you scared the shit out of me.

    Baby: Aw, you ain't seen nothing yet.

    Bill Hudley: Is your brother ready to go?

    Baby: Oh... yeah, he already left. We'll wait inside, come on.

    Bill Hudley: He left!

    Baby: Yeah, come on.

  • Baby: OK, sorry... maybe the Great Pumpkin ate 'em up.

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Characters on Baby Driver (2017)