Babe Quotes in Babe: Pig in the City (1998)

The Pink Poodle: Please. Please. I know you're different from the others. Those that have had their way with me make their empty promises, but they are all lies - lies. And I'm afraid and terribly, terribly tired.

Babe: Where's your human?

The Pink Poodle: My humans belong to someone else now. Someone younger and prettier.

Snoop: I'm a sniffer, ya see. A fully qualified, triple-certificated sniffer.

Babe: Oh.

Snoop: It's all in the hooter, the schnoz, the olfactory instrument. You could be a sniffer with a schnoz like that.

Babe: Open up, please. Open this door.

Zootie: You got a problem, sweetie?

Babe: Um... uh...

Bob: Who is it, honey?

Zootie: It's, uh... kind of a baldy, pinky, whitey thingy.

Babe: Well, I have to warn you, I may be small, but I can be ferocious if provoked.

Babe: I'm not a porkpie.

Zootie: Whatever you say, cutie pie.

Babe: I'm not any kind of pie. I'm just a pig on a mission.

Babe: [in a dark alley, just past a "Beware: Savage Dogs" sign] Hello? Anybody home?

[dogs growling from the shadows]

Babe: Anybody else?

The Doberman: [Hiding in the shadows] You must have a really thin grasp on Reality...

[Comes out into the light]

The Doberman: ... unless of course; you're suicidal...

Babe: [nervously] I was only looking for some Sheep.

The Doberman: I warned You!

[a Bull Terrier comes out of he shadows in attempts to attack Babe, as so does the Doberman]

Babe: You're very kind, but...

The Pitbull: No, no, I'm anything but kind. In fact, I have a professional obligation to be malicious.

Babe: Then you should change jobs.

Babe: Sorry, Boss...

Babe: [reading a poem Deeds wrote for her] "Hard to breathe / Feels like floating / So full of love my heart's exploding. / Mouth is dry / Hands are shaking / My heart is yours for the taking. / Acting weird / Not myself / Dancing around like the Keebler elf. / Finally time / for this poor schlubb / To know how it feels to fall in lub."

Longfellow Deeds: I couldn't find any other words that rhyme with "schlub..."

[Babe pulls Deeds towards her and the two kiss for one long moment]

Babe: Oh, Deeds... oh, I am so sorry...

[breaks into tears and runs away]

Longfellow Deeds: No, don't be... I mean, that was my first kiss too...

Babe, aka "Pam Dawson": Oh, you have got to be shittin' me.

Longfellow Deeds: Whoa... that's the first time I've heard you curse.

Babe: I'm that excited.

[Deeds comes to rescue a girl fallen into a frozen pond, but stops when he sees it's Babe]

Longfellow Deeds: Where do you got the camera hidden? In the woods?

Babe: [shivering] No camera! I'm s-s-so cold! Please!

Longfellow Deeds: You're gonna get mugged in there, too?

Babe: I'm s-s-s-so s-s-s-sorry! I really l-l-love you!

Longfellow Deeds: Bu-bu-bu-bu-bullshit!

Jan: Tell you what: you get by me, I'll tell you where he is.

[cricks her neck]

Jan: Whoo! Feeling crazy!

Babe: [takes off her coat] Okay...

Jan: Come to mama!

[Babe charges, and Jan clotheslines her]

Babe: Ow...

Jan: I was a rodeo clown for six years. You're gonna have to step it up a notch, shorty.

[Deeds' poem is printed on greeting cards all over the state]

Babe: "Hard to breathe / Feels like floating..."

Reuben: "So full of love my heart's exploding..."

Emilio: [stroking a beautiful woman] "Mouth is dry / Hands are shaking..."

Cecil Anderson: [seated next to Kitty on a bench] "My heart is yours for the taking..."

Nazo, the Italian Delivery Man: [stroking a cat] "Acting weird / Not myself..."

Jan: "Dancing around like the Keebler elf..."

Longfellow Deeds: "Finally time / for this poor schlubb / To know how it feels to fall in lub."

Babe: You must be Jan. My name is...

Jan: I know who you are. Wham-Bam Dawson, a.k.a. Little Miss Slut-slut.

Babe: Okay, I deserved that...

Jan: Do you have any idea how much you hurt him? You're not getting anywhere near that boy.

Babe: I have to find him, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

Jan: [rolls up her sleeves] There's a lot I can do to stop you.

Babe: He needs to know how bad I feel, and I would go to the end of the earth, I would do anything, *anything*, to take back what I did to him.

Jan: ...I'm sorry? All I heard was, "blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp."

Babe: And this is my brother Denny's room,

[opens a closet door]

Babe, aka "Pam Dawson": they didn't like my brother very much.

Babe: Awww, he's choking. We should leave.

Babe: At the lake, when you saved my life... which I never thanked you for...

Longfellow Deeds: You're welcome.

Babe: ...you said that you didn't know who I was, and it made me realize... I don't know who I am. So I started working on it, and here's what I've got so far: My name is Babe Bennett. I grew up in Sayasset, Long Island. I have brown eyes and I don't know what my natural hair colour is anymore. When I was in fifth grade, I got a crush on Walter Kronkite, and... and I really did have that Holly Hobby notebook I was telling you about. I love Bruce Springsteen, Allman Roka and Abbott and Costello movies. I don't like liquorice, or my ankles. Most importantly, I know that I messed up real bad, and I'd be willing to spend the rest of my life begging you to give me another chance, because I am so deeply in love with you, and I know that it's definitely that forever kind of love that...

Longfellow Deeds: You're crazy.

[Babe trails off into silence]

Longfellow Deeds: You have beautiful ankles.

[Babe twiddles with a camera hidden in her blouse]

Babe: I want a raise, Mac!

[Babe is fiddling with a camera hidden in her blouse, when she notices a fireman staring at her]

Babe: Uh... Fires excite me.

[exposed]

Babe: I was gonna tell you, Deeds...

Babe: I'm gonna tell him that I've fallen in love with him, and who I really am.

Mac McGrath: And what if he punches you?

Babe: I'm kinda hoping he does.

Mac McGrath: Ah, come off it, Babe. You'd actually leave all this for that dipstick?

Babe: He is not a dipstick! He is a kind, sweet-hearted guy who we think is a dipstick because he doesn't have our sense of cynicism and negative that we put into the news to make it sell!

Mac McGrath: Garbage!

Babe: Right!

Mac McGrath: Well, after this meeting, I'm going down to my limo and head across to my 16-floor mansion to touch my girlfriend's big fake pompoms!

Babe: Good for you, Mac. But I'm still gonna tell him.

Mac McGrath: I feel for you, I do. "Big journalist leaves career for Forrest Gump." I'm really gonna miss you...

[Deeds finds Babe trapped underneath a sheet of ice]

Longfellow Deeds: [removes his shoe] Get ready... here comes the foot!

Babe: NOOOO!

[Deeds shoves his frostbitten foot through the ice... right next to Babe]

Longfellow Deeds: I know, it's gross - grab it!

[pulls Babe out of the ice with the foot]

Longfellow Deeds: You didn't really fall out of an apple tree, did you?

Babe: No. But I really do love you.

Longfellow Deeds: I don't know who you are. I'm sorry...

[Deeds' rescue is warped and seen on the news as a twisted perversion]

Babe: He risked his life to save that woman and her pets! He was heroic!

Mac McGrath: [shrugs] Heroic is nice; depraved and insane is better.

Babe: Baa-ram-ewe! Baa-ram-ewe! To your breed, your fleece, your clan be true! Sheep be true! Baa-ram-ewe!

Sheep: [finally begins to speak] What - what did you say?

Ferdinand: Look, there's something you should know.

Babe: Yes?

Ferdinand: Humans eat ducks!

Babe: [Gasps] I beg your pardon?

Ferdinand: Ah, most ducks prefer to forget it, but the fact is that humans like to eat plump, attractive ducks.

Babe: Ohhh, I don't think so. Not the Boss, not the Boss's wife.

Ferdinand: Oh, come on. Humans don't eat cats - why?

Babe: Well, they're...

Ferdinand: They're indispensable: they catch mice. Humans don't eat roosters - why? They make eggs with the hens and wake everyone up in the morning.

Babe: Right.

Ferdinand: I tried it with the hens: it didn't work. So I turned to crowing, and lo! I discover my gift. But no sooner do I become indispensable than they bring in a machine to do the job. Ohhhh-oh-oh. the treachery of it - a mechanical rooster!

Babe: I'm sorry I bit you. Are you all right?

Sheep: Well, I wouldn't call that a bite myself. You got teeth in that floppy mouth of yours or just gums?

[Babe bursts out laughing and so does the other sheep]

Maa: You see, ladies? A heart of gold.

Puppy: [as Fly and her puppies enter the barn and sees Babe] It does look stupid, Mom.

Fly: Not as stupid as sheep, mind you, But pigs are definitely stupid.

Babe: [raises his head] Excuse me... no, we're not!

Cat: Oh, do forgive me for scratching you, dear. I got a bit carried away. It's a cat thing.

Babe: [laughs] Oh, well, but...

Cat: Feeling good about tomorrow, are you?

Babe: Mm-hmm, it should be all right, I think.

Cat: You know, I probably shouldn't say this, but I'm not sure if you realise how much the other animals are laughing at you for this sheepdog business.

Babe: Why would they do that?

Cat: Well, they say that you've forgotten that you're a pig. Isn't that silly? And they even said that you don't know what pigs are for.

Babe: What do you mean, 'what pigs are for'?

Cat: You know, why pigs are here.

Babe: Why are any of us here?

Cat: Well, the cow's here to be milked, the dogs are here to help the Boss's husband with the sheep, and I'm here to be beautiful and affectionate to the Boss.

Babe: Yes?

Cat: [sighs softly] The fact is that pigs don't have a purpose. Just like, ducks don't have a purpose.

Babe: [confused] Uh, I - I don't, uh...

Cat: All right, for your own sake, I'll be blunt. Why do the Bosses keep ducks? To eat them. So why do the Bosses keep a pig? The fact is that animals that don't seem to have a purpose really do have a purpose. The Bosses have to eat. It's probably the most noble purpose of all, when you come to think about it.

Babe: They... eat pigs?

Cat: Pork, they call it. Or bacon. They only call them pigs when they're alive.

Babe: But, uh, I'm a sheep pig.

Cat: [giggles] The Boss's husband's just playing a little game with you. Believe me, sooner or later, every pig gets eaten. That's the way the world works. Oh... I haven't upset you, have I?

[chuckles softly]

[Babe's first attempt to herd sheep just got him laughed at]

Babe: This is ridiculous, Mum!

Fly: Nonsense. It's only your first try. But you're treating them like equals. They're sheep; they're inferior.

Babe: Oh, no, they're not.

Fly: Of course they are. We are their masters, Babe. Let them doubt it for a second and they'll walk all over you!

Rex: Fly! Get the pig out of there!

Fly: Make them feel inferior - abuse them, insult them.

Rex: Fly!

Babe: They'll laugh at me.

Fly: Then bite them! Be ruthless. Whatever it takes, bend them to your will.

Rex: Enough!

Fly: Go on, go!

Fly: All right - how did you do it?

Babe: I asked them and they did it. I just asked them nicely.

Fly: We don't ask sheep, dear; we tell them what to do.

Babe: But I did, Mum. They were really friendly.

Babe: Move along there, ya... ya... big buttheads!

Babe: Was Rex a champion?

Fly: He had the makings of the greatest champion there ever was. But it wasn't to be.

Babe: What happened?

Fly: A while back, when Rex was in his prime, the winter rains brought a great flood to the valley. Rex and the Boss got most of the flock onto the high ground. Then Rex went back to look for the strays. He found them. They'd been stranded by the rising water. He tried to herd them across to safety, but they wouldn't budge. Too scared and too stupid to save their own skins. It was freezing cold and the water kept rising. Rex stayed with them right through the night. By morning, the sheep were drowned. And when they found Rex, he was barely alive.

Babe: Oh, Mum.

Fly: Two weeks' rest in front of the fire saw him back on his feet, but his *hearing* was never the same again. He'd never want anyone to know, but... he's almost totally deaf.

Babe: Is that why he's so - you know - angry?

Fly: That's not the half of it. All this was barely a month before the Grand National Challenge. He tried his best, but he couldn't hear the Boss's calls, and it slowed him up. The cold truth is that, but for the stupidity of sheep, Rex would've been the champion of champions.

Babe: [relieved that he's alive] Ferdinand!

Cow: If you're out here, who's that in there?

Ferdinand: Her name's Rosanna.

[They watch the Hoggett family carve the roast duck]

Ferdinand: Why Rosanna? She - she had such a beautiful nature.

Babe: Oh, Ferdinand...

Ferdinand: I can't take it anymore.

Cow: [disapprovingly] Really.

Ferdinand: The fear's too much for a duck. It - it eats away at the soul! There must be kinder dispositions in far-off gentler lands.

Cow: The only way you'll find happiness is to accept that the way things are is the way things are.

Ferdinand: 'The way things are' stinks! I'm not gonna be a goner, I'm gone! I wish all of you the best of luck.

Babe: Well hush my big black mouth!

Christian Szell: Is it safe?... Is it safe?

Babe: You're talking to me?

Christian Szell: Is it safe?

Babe: Is what safe?

Christian Szell: Is it safe?

Babe: I don't know what you mean. I can't tell you something's safe or not, unless I know specifically what you're talking about.

Christian Szell: Is it safe?

Babe: Tell me what the "it" refers to.

Christian Szell: Is it safe?

Babe: Yes, it's safe, it's very safe, it's so safe you wouldn't believe it.

Christian Szell: Is it safe?

Babe: No. It's not safe, it's... very dangerous, be careful.

Christian Szell: Well, what are you going to do now, shoot me?

Babe: No, I don't think so.

Christian Szell: [referring to the diamonds] Then you're going to take these from me? If I could say a word about that...

Babe: No, you can keep them. You can keep as many as you can swallow.

Babe: Listen, I want you to rob my apartment.

Melendez: [laughs] Why?

Babe: There are some guys out there after me, I got a gun in my desk drawer, and I want you to get me some clothes.

Melendez: What's in there for me, man?

Babe: I got a TV set, I got a hi-fi, you can take it all. Do it.

Melendez: What's the catch?

Babe: The catch is it's dangerous. Please do it.

Melendez: That ain't the catch. It's the fun.

Janeway: [Referring to his dead brother] What did he do?

Babe: He was in the oil business.

Janeway: Wrong. I know exactly how Doc made his living, and the closest he ever came to the oil business was when he filled up at the friendly neighborhood gas station.

Janeway: My name's Peter Janeway. But you can call me Janey, all of my friends do.

Babe: I'm not your friend.

[When Elsa leaves the library, Babe hesitates, and then runs after her. He finds her as she is climbing the stairs to her apartment and makes small talk, trying to prolong the conversation. When she keeps walking away, he bursts into an honest confession]

Babe: Look, I'm sorry I stole your book.

Elsa Opel: What?

Babe: I took your book and put it underneath mine. I, I didn't know how to talk to you, I was embarrassed, so I took your book.

Elsa Opel: Aren't you embarrassed now?

Babe: Yeah. I'm, I'm humiliated.

Elsa Opel: So, why do you pursue people who sit at your library table?

Babe: I don't. It's just that... you're pretty.

Elsa Opel: Ohh!

[She smiles and turns to walk away from him for about the seventh time]

Babe: Well, I can't talk about how smart you are; I don't even know you. Anyway, I'm done lying with you.

Elsa Opel: Are you always so incompetent with women?

Babe: Oh, yes. Today's way above average for me.

Elsa Opel: Congratulations.

[She is still smiling as she unlocks her door to leave him]

Elsa Opel: Good night.

Babe: That's too bad. I could make you so happy. I'm smart as a whip; you won't meet another thief like me in the library again. Come on; why don't you say you'll see me, huh?

Elsa Opel: All right. I'll see you again. But it won't come to anything.

Babe: You can't tell.

Elsa Opel: [wistfully] Yes, I can.

[She shuts her door in his face]

Christian Szell: I was in a state of hysteria, you know.

[referring to the open suitcase filled with diamonds]

Christian Szell: Don't you want to take a closer look than that?

Babe: No!

Christian Szell: You see, uh, in a sense, one becomes more emotional with age. First after a lifetime of being taken by friends and enemies alike, and then just when you think you have your possessions sure, your health begins to go.

[laughs]

Christian Szell: That is, of course, the ultimate theft!

Christian Szell: The gun had blanks, the knife, a retractable blade. Hardly original, but effective enough. I think you'll agree. I'm told you are a graduate student. Brilliant, yes? You are an historian, and I am part of history. I should have thought you would have found me interesting. Frankly, I am disappointed in your silence.

Babe: Why do you have so little accent?

Christian Szell: I had alexia as a child. Alexia is a disease...

Babe: I know. It's where you can't understand written speech.

Christian Szell: Highest marks. At any event, my writing is childish still, but I'm a fanatic about spoken language. I envy you your school days. Enjoy them fully. It's that last time in your life no one expects anything of you.

Doc: [noticing Babe's homework] What's this, more bullshit for your thesis?

Babe: Those are some interviews about Dad. I'd like you to read them.

Doc: [dispassionately] Not interested.

Babe: Why not? I just want you to read them.

Doc: You're never gonna face it, are you? The old man is dead; he was a drunk, he killed himself.

Babe: Yeah, Doc, but he didn't start to drink until after the hearings.

Doc: You gotta be kidding me?

Babe: No, I got it from his friends.

Doc: Where were those people when you needed them?

Babe: They're were afraid like everybody else.

Doc: You think he wanted you to be throwing your life away on this shit?

Babe: I don't think I'm throwing it away!

Doc: You are! Nothing you write is gonna change what happened?

Babe: Why can't you give me the courtesy to read them?

Doc: [shouting] It's over! Forget it!

Babe: [quietly] Maybe for you.

Janeway: Listen, why don't we begin with what happened tonight, hmm? Perhaps you could... you know, give me some of the details.

Babe: I was here, Doc... died, you came.

Janeway: That's it?

Babe: I'm a demon for details.

Doc: [In a fancy restaurant] How could you forget to wear a tie?

Babe: I didn't forget it. Who wears a tie when they eat lunch?

Doc: [to Elsa] Well, at least his fly is buttoned!

[Szell begins to torture Babe by using a dental probe and a mouth mirror to check for cavities]

Babe: [the probe hits a cavity] Ow.

Christian Szell: That hurt?

Babe: Uh-huh.

Christian Szell: I know. I should think it would. You should take better care of your teeth. You have a...

[hits the cavity again]

Christian Szell: quite a cavity here. Is it safe?

Babe: Look, I told you I can't...

[Szell stabs the probe into the nerve; screaming in pain]

Babe: AAH-HA! AAH! Aah!

[Babe's painful screams and moans continues]

Karl: You thinks he knows?

Erhard: Of course he knows! He's being very stubborn.

Babe: [Moaning in pain] Ohh, wait. Please. Please, don't. No. No.

Christian Szell: It's okay.

Babe: Huh?

[Szell then opens a small bottle of oil of cloves, in which he applies it in Babe's badly aggravated cavity to kill the pain]

Christian Szell: Isn't that remarkable? Simple oil of cloves, and how amazing the results. Life can be that simple:

[holds up the oil]

Christian Szell: Relief...

[and the probe tool]

Christian Szell: Discomfort. Now which of these I next apply? That decision is in your hands. So... take your time... and tell me... is it safe?

Babe: Please, stop. Please, stop. Please.

Janeway: [In the car with Babe] All right, things are starting to come together. Keep your head down before you get it blown off. Those two guys I just wasted work for a man named Christian Szell. Does that name mean anything to you?

Babe: No.

Janeway: He ran the experimental camp at Auchswitz, where they called him "The White Angel" - "The Weisse Engel" - because he has this incredible head of white hair. He's probably the wealthiest and most wanted Nazi left alive. And he's hiding out somewhere in Uruguay. In 1945, Szell let it be known around Auchswitz that he could provide escape for any Jew who was willing to pay the price. He started out with gold naturally, but very quickly worked his way up to diamonds. Have you heard any of this before?

Babe: No.

Janeway: Szell saw the end early. And he snuck his brother into America with his diamonds. They're right here in New York in a safe deposit box. Szell's brother had the key. The only other key was kept by Szell in Uruguay. And now, if he has to come out of hiding to use it, he's gonna expose himself to incredible risk. Well, everything worked out fine until his brother got killed in a head-on collision with an oil truck.

Babe: [raspy] Why did you say "naturally" when you said he'd started with gold?

Janeway: Because he knocked it out of the Jews' teeth before he burned them. Szell was a dentist.

[Janeway's car makes a left turn at another street]

Babe: He's not coming to America, Mr. Janeway. He's here.

Janeway: He can't be here. We'd already know it if he was.

Babe: He's here. That was the dentist that almost killed me. He kept saying, "Is it safe?, is it safe?" over and over.

Janeway: Did he had white hair? Keep your head down! Did he had white hair?

Babe: He was bald.

Janeway: Bald? The son-of-a-bitch has shaved his head! He's here! And he's panicked!

Babe: Why is he after me?

Janeway: Because your brother was one of the couriers that transported the diamonds to Paris. And obviously, Szell thinks Doc said something to you before he died. Now did he say anything to you?

Babe: What do you mean my brother? You're saying my brother worked for Szell?

Janeway: [shouts] No! He worked for us! Everything we do cuts both ways. Szell ratted on all of his buddies. He kept track on all of the old Nazis throughout the world. Whenever we want to bring one of them in, we went to Szell. Now listen, Babe. You gotta do one thing for me, just one thing.

Babe: Name it. What?

Janeway: Quit protecting Doc!

Babe: I'm not.

Janeway: He kept himself alive long enough to tell you something. Now what did he say to you?

Babe: He didn't say anything.

Janeway: He must've said something. Tell me what he said!

Babe: [screams] Nothing!

Janeway: [tantrums] Shit!

[Janeway arrives back at Szell's hideout where Karl and Erhard are waiting; Janeway is revealed as a double agent, which horrifies Babe even more]

Babe: [screams to Janeway] I saw you kill them! You killed them! You killed them! You killed them! You fucking killed them! You killed my brother!

Ruben: [about Ernie] I talked to his mother on the phone. He got married.

Babe: What can you expect?

Ruben: All that energy they waste. If they're not getting married, they're getting arrested or they're joining the navy or they're killing themselves on motorcycles.

Babe: You know why I think he did it? I think that beating discouraged him.

Ruben: Well, if you don't have confidence in yourself, you're never gonna get anywhere.

Babe: I remember the first time I passed blood. I was one scared kid.

Ruben: Sure, when I got my jaw broken and I had to suck liquids through that straw, I started wondering if it was all worthwhile.

Babe: I'll tell you what bothered me: getting my throat ruined.

Ruben: You didn't keep your chin down.

Babe: How's your nose? Can you breathe?

Ruben: Yeah, can't you?

Babe: Not on a wet day.

Babe: He's dead! That means the girl goes with him!

Doc: If she she's going, Dead-Legs will go first!

Tiny: The idea, Babe... wastin' our good gin on them cannibals.

Babe: We've got the gin, Tiny! I put kerosene in that bottle!

Babe: You're lucky! You're just in time to see a big native funeral! Dead-Legs is chief Evil Spirit chaser 'round here.

[a frightened widow is made ready for a funeral pyre]

Babe: It's a lovely custom. When a man dies, they always burn his wife or daughter with him!

[Maizie laughs hysterically with fright]

Babe: That's the law of the Congo... and nothin' can change it.

Babe: [Offered a drink] No, brother. Such beverages have never soiled my virgin lips. On second thought, perhaps a little... to check my malaria.