Scott Lynch quotes:

Throwing blondes at Locke Lamora was not unlike throwing lettuce at sharks.

When you see the crooked Warden," said Locke, twisting something in his hands, "tell hi that Lock Lamora learns slowly, but he learns well. And when you see my friends, you tell them that there are more of you on the way.

If you want to write a negative review, don't tickle me gently with your aesthetic displeasure about my work. Unleash the goddamn Kraken."[on Twitter, July 17, 2012]

I keep asking myself," whispered Sabetha, giving Locke's arm a squeeze, "ARE we smarter than that woman's chicken?""At the moment, it's an open question," said Locke.

Cold walls do not a prison make, nor iron bands a bondsman.

Difficult" and "impossible" are cousins often mistaken for one another, with very little in common." (Locke Lamora to Requin)

Endure for another day, Mister Tannen, and you'll have all the foul black misuse of water you can drink.

I think piracy is a bit like drinking. You want to stay out all night doing it, you pay the price the next day.

Caldris led them over to a large covered basket that sat on the stones near the docked dinghy. He undid the cover, reached in and removed a live kitten- Hello, you monstrous little necessity- Mrrrrwwwwww, said the monstrous little necessity.

My name's Jean Tannen, and I'm the ambush.

The fact Locke didn't die instantly may be taken as proof that a human male can survive having every last warm drop of blood within his body rush instantly to the vicinity of his cheeks.

It was strange, how readily authority could be conjured with nothing but a bit of strutting jackassery.

Are you smarter than a pig, Locke?" "On occasion," said Locke. "There are contrary opinions.

Enlightenment! When it comes, it comes like a brick to the head, doesn't it?

I don't have to beat you. I don't have to beat you, motherfucker. I just have to keep you here... until Jean shows up.

I think it's fairly common for writers to be afflicted with two simultaneous yet contradictory delusions, the burning certainty that we're unique geniuses, and the constant fear that we're witless frauds who are speeding toward epic failure.

My disinterest in your bullshit is so tangible you could make bricks out of it

I'm speaking of the pursuit of excellence in all things. All things! Presence of mind and devotion to craft. A great artist has these. A great chef. A great master of tea. There's powerful kung fu in a well-built house or an eloquent letter, but the limit of your imagination is bones breaking and bullets flying.

I thought we were celebrating being richer and cleverer than everyone else!

I'll wager I would have screwed things up regardless. But. . .can you imagine those poor bastards grappling their prey, leaping over the rails, swords in hand, screaming, 'Your cats! Give us all your gods-damned cats!

Calo had dark liquor-colored skin and hair like an inky slice of night; the tautness of the flesh around his dark eyes was broken only by a fine network of laugh-lines (though anyone who knew the Sanza twins would more readily describe them as smirk-lines). An improbably sharp and hooked nose preceded his good looks like a dagger held at guard position.

You'd have to take your shoes and breeches off to count to twenty-one!

... It's perfect! Locke would appreciate it." "Bug," Calo said, "Locke is our brother and our love for him knows no bounds. But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are 'Locke would appreciate it.'" "Rivalled only by 'Locke taught me a new trick,'" added Galo. "The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games ..." "... is Locke ..." "... because we think the gods are saving him up for a really big death. Something with knives and hot irons ..." "... and fifty thousand cheering spectators.

A boy may be as disagreeable as he pleases, but when a girl refuses to crap sunshine on command, the world mutters darkly about her moods.

Advice,' Doña Vorchenza chuckled. 'Advice. The years play a sort of alchemical trick, transmuting one's mutterings to a state of respectability. Give advice at forty and you're a nag. Give it at seventy and you're a sage.

Any man can fart in a closed room and say that he commands the wind

As for history, we are living in its ruins. And as for biographies, we are living with the consequences of all the decisions ever made in them. I tend not to read them for pleasure. It's not unlike carefully scrutinizing the map when one has already reached the destination.

Crooked Warden, I will fear no darkness for the night is yours," muttered Locke, pointing the first two fingers of his left hand into the darkness. The Dagger of the Thirteenth, a thief's gesture against evil. "Your night is my cloak, my shield, my escape from those who hunt to feed the noose. I will fear no evil, for you have made the night my friend." "Bless the Benefactor," said Jean, squeezing Locke's left forearm. "Peace and profit to his children.

I can't name the poison that's killing your friend. But the one that's killing you is called hope.

I suspect this is all gonna end in screaming and drowning

If reassurances could dull pain, nobody would ever go to the trouble of pressing grapes.

I'm not as reckless as I used to be. You know, when I was little.

In the glass burrow beneath their feet, the flames began to rise. First the flames, and then the screams

Maxilan, darling." Locke raised one eyebrow and smiled. "I knew you were driven, but I had no idea you could smoulder. Come, take me now! Jean won't mind; he'll avert his eyes like a gentleman.

Mew," the kitten retorted, locking gazes with him. It had the expression common to all kittens, that of a tyrant in the becoming. 'I was comfortable, and you dared to move,' those jade eyes said. 'For that you must die.' When it became apparent to the cat that its two or three pounds of mass were insufficient to break Locke's neck with one mighty snap, it put its paws on his shoulders and began sharing its drool-covered nose with his lips. He recoiled.

Nobody admires anyone else without qualification. If they do they're after an image, not a person.

Only one way to win when you're being chased by someone bigger and tougher than you. Turn straight around, punch their teeth out, and hope the gods are fond of you.

Papa's in a bad way, Locke. I wanted to see you before you saw him - he has some...things he wishes to discuss with you. I want you to know that whatever he asks, I don't want you...for my sake...well, please, just agree. Please him, do you understand?" "No garrista who loves life has ever tried to do otherwise. You think I'm inclined to walk in on a day like today and deliberately twist his breeches? If your father says 'bark like a dog' I say 'What breed, Your Honour?

Quit being so hard on yourself. We are what we are; we love what we love. We don't need to justify it to anyone... not even to ourselves.

So that makes us robbers of robbers," said Bug, "who pretend to be robbers working for a robber of other robbers.

Stand aside, and try not to catch fire if I shed sparks of genius.

The only constant in the soul of man is inconstancy; anything and everything else can pass out of fashion-even something as utilitarian as a hill stuffed full of corpses.

The water caught the Falselight glimmer like layers of shifting, translucent mirrors and formed split-second works of art in the air, but men cursed it anyway, because it made their heads wet.

There are only three people in life you can never fool--pawnbrokers, whores, and your mother. Since your mother's dead, I've taken her place. Hence, I'm bullshit-proof.

There's no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated.

They kissed for the sort of endless moment that only exists between lovers whose lips are still new territory to one another.

This is where you and I are headed.... Look for us in history books and you'll find us in the margins. Look for us in legends and you might just find us celebrated

We like what we like, we want what we want, and nobody needs to give us permission to feel that way!

We're a different sort of thief here, Lamora. Deception and misdirection are our tools. We don't believe in hard work when a false face and a good line of bullshit can do so much more.

What is government but theft by consent?

What kind of knife is this?" Locke held a rounded buttering utensil up for Chains' inspection. "It's all wrong. You couldn't kill anyone with this.

When the sky's falling, I take shelter under bullshit.

When you can't cheat the game, you'd best find a means to cheat the players.

Worst of all, the inner vault is guarded by a live dragon, attended by fifty naked women armed with poisoned spears, each of them sworn to die in Requin's service. All redheads. -You're just making that up, Jean.

Yeah, but if I don't start my nervous pacing now, I'll never have it all done in time.

You can knock down kingdoms on a whim. What you need is someone to make sure you don't get hit by a carriage when you cross the street.

You can't help being young, but it's past time that you stopped being stupid.

You simply collapsed, sir. In layman's terms, your body revoked its permission for you to continue heaping abuse upon it.

You're one third bad intentions,one third pure avarice,and one eighth sawdust.What's left,I'll credit,must be brains.

You're ten pints of crazy in a one-pint glass.