Ruby Wax quotes:

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  • Mum used to hide love letters from my boyfriends and put me down. Now I understand that she was a Polish immigrant forced to settle in Chicago. She was jealous of the freedom life gave me.

  • I can't do anything too serious like Saddam Hussein, but I would like to do Bill Clinton. That'd be fun.

  • Being a mother is hard and it wasn't a subject I ever studied.

  • I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced

  • I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced.

  • I never weigh myself, but the brutal truth of television is that they don't employ old people or fat people.

  • 1 in 5 people have dandruff. 1 in 4 people have mental health problems. I've had both.

  • You have to be great friends and make each other laugh. We laugh a lot and neither is jealous of the other.

  • I don't combine proteins and carbohydrates.

  • My ultimate fantasy is to entice a man to my bedroom, put a gun to his head and say, 'Make babies or die'.

  • Like any working mother I find it hard to have a social life. But my kids are so well adjusted. There isn't a brat bone in their body so I haven't done anything that bad.

  • College atheletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.

  • Depressions are very cyclical, they happen once every five years. When I was on TV, yes I was effervescent, you can't fake it. It [depression] comes like the pox.

  • Some interviewees you make friends with and some you don't.

  • I always ask the booksellers to look at me and recommend a book; 9 out of 10, they get it right; it's usually a book about someone dysfunctional. To me bookstores are like brothels of imagination, each book is luring me over going, 'Read me, read me'.

  • Why, when you have a mental disease, is it always considered an act of imagination? Why is it that every organ in your body can get sick and you get sympathy except the brain?

  • For me mindfulness is like building a house, so the next time the tsunami that is depression comes I'll have a structure in place to resist it.

  • I knew nothing about football, then someone showed me a film of Petit and I realised how interesting the game could be. He is divine. When I met him I could barely speak, he was so gorgeous. Women will love that show.

  • Only if you're kind to yourself, can you be kind to others.

  • College athletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.

  • I am lucky to have good Polish skin that doesn't wrinkle so I might be around for a few years yet.

  • My whole career has been an act of revenge.

  • I'm lucky not to have a nine-to-five job.

  • This disease comes with a package: shame. When any other part of your body gets sick, you get sympathy.

  • It's so common, it could be anyone. The trouble is, nobody wants to talk about it. And that makes everything worse.

  • [With depression] you get a real sense of shame, because your friends go, 'Oh come on, show me the lump, show me the x-rays,' and of course you've got nothing to show.

  • By the time dessert arrives I am usually so drunk, I can't remember what I'm serving.

  • How come every other organ in your body can get sick and you get sympathy, except the brain?

  • I have to keep reminding myself that I am their mother. Sometimes we are sitting at home and I feel like we are waiting for our mom to come home.

  • I've told so many lies about my age I don't know how old I am myself.

  • Nannies love working in our house because they never know who's gonna walk through the door.

  • People who say ... they're perfectly fine [are] more insane than the rest of us.

  • 'The Piano' is a romantic drama that really made me want to see New Zealand. When I finally did it was every bit as jaw dropping as it looked in the film. It's so virgin and green, it's like God said 'lets try again' and he got it right this time!

  • Thoughts aren't fact, so don't take them seriously

  • What once made you safe now drives you insane.

  • Why is that when people become ill and have something wrong with any of their organs, they get sympathy from other people - except when that organ is their brain?

  • You shouldn't run away from your problems, you need to aim straight for the heart of the beast.

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