Roddy Piper quotes:

Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling.

I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me.

My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone new.

Oh, here he comes now, the May West of pro-wrestling.

Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper.

Sooner or later, everybody pays the Piper!

I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum.

Rowdy Roddy cut his locks; but don't worry woman, he's still a fox.

Aww, whats the problem, gertrude? You mean to tell me that you can't walk into a bar with a $100 bill on your forehead and walk with anything, either male or female?

You don't throw rocks at a man with a machine gun!

Fighting is not internal, but it can be very spiritual. Everything acting is internal. One of my problems in making the transition is pulling back, but I'm working on it.

He mighta spent a couple years under the arena training young wrestlers...

I think that I just wasn't brought up under any rules, and I think that made me a little different and people wanted to look up to that or aspire to that, and that makes me very grateful.

I was pissin' Vince McMahon off when the red on the back of your neck was diaper rash!

I'm the reason Hulk Hogan lost his hair.

Nature Boy, whats that? Do you run around the forest like Euell Gibbons, eating bark or something?

Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running. He's probably drowning from the size of his nose running.

Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well, what I want to know is, how does it feel to get beat by a woman?

Did your parents build knows you a swing facing a wall when you were a kid?

I never envisioned myself being a film star at all. Most people know that pro wrestling is a little bit of an accident for me. I never really had any real aspirations of being in front of a camera.

You'll find sympathy in the dictionary between sh*t and suicide.

Do you know you couldn't get a date with a $20 bill taped to your forehead?

Does the tounge hanging out help his balance?

He's as strong as an ox...and ALMOST as smart!

I don't need to know how tough I am to know how tough I am.

I like the fact that I can go away and lose myself so I don't have to live in the world of courage that everyone else does. I like creating, it's what I do, and acting allows me to stretch all those different muscles in all kinds of ways. That's pretty cool.

I walk so fast, I talk so fast, I could turn the light off and be in bed before the room's dark.

Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial Margerine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!

Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions.

My business in the beginning was very lawless and the more trouble I go into, the more the promoters liked me back then. I was on the front page for doing something wrong, the arena was full. Then, all of a sudden, everything changed somehow and they put rules in. You put rules in a gunfight? I'm not so good at following those rules. I don't' know what will happen at WrestleMania.

Wrestling and acting couldn't be anymore different in terms of what it takes to entertain. Wrestling is explosion, acting is implosion. One really screws up the other.