Richard Lewis quotes:

When I was younger, I listened to the greats: Winters, Mel and Carl, Nichols and May, Pryor, Carlin, Klein, Berman and lots of Lenny Bruce albums. But once I started doing fairly well, I didn't want to hear anybody's jokes or premises.

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

My act is always a work in progress. I pray I have a bad day before a show.

If you want to devote yourself to the arts, you'd better do it strictly from passion, because there is zero guarantee that you'll get anywhere. The hardest thing is dealing with business people who have nothing to do with your art. They could care less that you're up at 4:30 in the morning writing a joke. Don't expect any sympathy from anybody.

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

My humor is channeling everything through my brain. For example, when I talk about something, it's how Richard Lewis feels about it. I'm a storyteller. I do a lot of free association.

During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else.

My performance level has risen - and my anxiety-level has sky-rocketed.

I love being famous. It validates that I have something to say.

My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once.

I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror.

I never wanted to do observational humor because I never wanted to tell people what they were seeing.

For 45 years I've worked without an audience.

I tried phone sex - it gave me an ear infection....

I'm psyched-up when I do radio. I can reach hundreds of thousands of people in a market. And way psyched-up when I'm on television. For people not to take it seriously is foolish.

I like to read biographies of authors that I love, like Richard Yates. I also like to see what non-fiction authors are out there. My bible is Something Happened. It's one of the greatest books I've ever read. But if I don't read a Dostoevsky soon I'm going to kill myself.

I didn't ever feel close to my real family. I didn't feel validated; I never felt right because I was always wrong.

My wife's hip, beautiful and independent and never jealous.

My parents were my worst audience.