Oliver Herford quotes:
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A rolling stone gathers no moss, but it gains a certain polish.
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A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.
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Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.
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Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember.
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I sometimes think the Pussy-Willows grey Are Angel Kittens who have lost their way, And every Bulrush on the river bank A Cat-Tail from some lovely Cat astray.
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Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
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When I go abroad I always sail from Boston because it is such a pleasant place to get away from.
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Only the young die good.
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Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.
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Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
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Tact: to lie about others as you would have them lie about you.
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The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
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What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg at an electric fan.
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Tact is to lie about others as you would have them lie about you.
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I heard a bird sing In the dark of December A magical thing And sweet to remember. 'We are nearer to Spring Than we were in September,' I heard a bird sing In the dark of December.
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Many are called but few get up.
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Age, like distance lends a double charm.
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A kiss is a course of procedure cunningly devised, for the mutual stopage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous.
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A pest is a person who can talk like an encyclopedia, and does.
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A man is known by the silence he keeps.
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Actresses will happen in the best regulated families.
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An epicure is one who gets nothing better than the cream of everything but cheerfully makes the best of it.
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Some take their gold in minted mold, and some in harps thereafter, but give me mine in bubbles fine and keep the change in laughter.
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If some people got their rights they would complain of being deprived of their wrongs.
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The Elf and the Dormouse UNDER a toadstool crept a wee Elf, Out of the rain to shelter himself. Under the toadstool, sound asleep, Sat a big Dormouse all in a heap. Trembled the wee Elf, frightened and yet Fearing to fly away lest he get wet. To the next shelter-maybe a mile! Sudden the wee Elf smiled a wee smile. Tugged till the toadstool toppled in two. Holding it over him, gaily he flew. Soon he was safe home, dry as could be. Soon woke the Dormouse-"Good gracious me!" "Where is my toadstool?" loud he lamented. -And that's how umbrellas first were invented.
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There are more fish taken out of a stream than ever were in it.
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I would like to throw an egg into an electric fan.
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There is always room at the top - after the investigation.
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A man must love a thing very much if he not only practices it without any hope of fame and money, but even... without any hope of doing it well.
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Song is the licensed medium for bawling in public things too silly or sacred to be uttered in ordinary speech.
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Diplomacy is living in state.
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Gather kittens while you may, Time brings only sorrow; And the kittens of today; Will be old cats tomorrow.
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Diplomacy: lying in state.
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My wife has a whim of iron
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Children, behold the Chimpanzee: He sits on the ancestral tree From which we sprang in ages gone.
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To babble is to make a feminine noise somewhat resembling the sound of a brook, but with less meaning.