Martin Short quotes:

[Ed Grimley] lives in a retirement home in New Jersey. It's called the Retirement Home in New Jersey for Characters Who Were Interesting in the '80s for About an Hour. He's there with the Whiners, Gumby and Jon Lovitz's 'That's the ticket' guy.

You try to figure out things to keep yourself interested. It's very easy to get lulled.

People do think I'm Jewish. But we're Irish Catholic. My father had a brogue.

A few years ago, I won a Tony for Little Me and I learned two important lessons from that experience. 1. Fair-weather friends are so much more interesting to be around and 2. It's amazing what this award fetches on E-Bay.

David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late '80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He's a very cool, hip guy. This film, let's face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he'd find it funny.

I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.

All these things that enter your head are assignments. You write them up and then throw them out there and if someone wants to do it, your assignment is done.

One of my great influences was Don Knotts as Barney Fife.

What's great about being a character actor is you know that you can survive forever. It's not about the gloss of your eyebrows.

I pretend I'm one of the royal family when I'm in a hotel and that the hotel belongs to me - it is a palace.

Someone once asked me what was the weirdest question I was ever asked. And I was stymied.

I have sometimes imagined my own death and brought myself to tears.

What I learned, a little too late, was that the 'traditional' Martin Short target viewer weighs under 300 pounds. Unfortunately, I was on during daytime.

A musical is only as good as its director. The same can also be said for the CIA.

I still do live concerts all over the country - about four a month - with singing and characters and improv. It keeps me limber. I'll never lose that. And comedy is still the bread and butter.

I know if I were to drop dead now, people would probably write nice things in the obit.

I think loss can fuel how you lead your whole life.

My mother was the concert master of the symphony. Absurdity and eccentricity were not criticized.

All you're trying to do in an improvisation is get as much material as possible for the editing room.

I've never done an improvised movie as a fictitious character. I think that's the challenge.

I hate to lull the audience into letting them think that something is something. It's always fun to defy expectations.

Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes.

An actor can spew out thoughts, but they're not all gold.

If you have wonderful moments, don't second-guess them, just enjoy them.

I have a kind of objective luxury about my career.

I've done lots of improv things but not a whole movie.

You go through publicists because it's easy for a publicist to say to another publicist, 'No'.

No one is any one thing.

Being the youngest of five, you're adored, you're fueled with confidence.

I think I've been really lucky to keep my career so varied, and to be open. There's safety in repetition, but there's also a trap there.

Ill give you an idea of how Jewish Mel Brooks is: Thats a nose job.

I'm an actor who loves doing comedy.

I'm totally aware of how lucky I am. I have health, family, children. I do work that gives me total joy and allows me to make a living, and maybe, if I'm lucky enough, I'll feel I've fulfilled a little bit of service to society because I brought other people some laughter.

It's better to love a short...

I've chosen to treat my life more like a party than something to stress about.

The thing you can always rely on, your core person, comes from your family's attention and love.

There was an era when people would turn on their radio and hear a radio drama. Now, you could be as scared by that as seeing it filmed. In those days, people used to sit by the fire and imagine what they were hearing. Everything is its own art form.

When you have to worry about paying the rent, you're never bored. You're just happy to have that job. But once you don't have to worry and reach the point where it's no longer about the money, you're able to look at other opportunities outside of your comfort zone.

When you start a new project and they say, "Your director is going to be Joe Blo," you're hoping that Joe Blo will be the next Martin Scorsese, but it doesn't always work out that way.

Whether arrogantly or what, I view myself simply as an actor.