Kathy Lette quotes:
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I blame Mother Nature two-faced bitch and Father Time bloody bastard .Yep those misogynistic killjoys have cut off my pocket money and left me grounded.With those two authoritarian heavyweights ganging up what chance does a woman have I aks you
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The name Kylie can be used for Scrabble, as it is an aboriginal word for boomerang. Which is why Ms Minogue is so good at comebacks.
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It's a mystery of parenthood that your son can give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a stray, worm-riddled dog, share a piece of re-chewed gum from a kid with bronchitis and pick his nose and eat it on a regular basis, yet won't sit next to his sister because of 'Girl Germs'.
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People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.
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Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
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Anyone living in Los Angeles who says they don't need a psychiatrist, needs a psychiatrist.
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If the Nobel Prize was awarded by a woman, it would go to the inventor of the dimmer switch.
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I speak as your native guide to the mysterious tribe called the English. Dress code is everything. You can be a card-carrying Nazi, you can pay gigolos to eat gnocchi out of your navel and you won't be pilloried -- as long as you never, ever wear linen with tweed.
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When you've been around as long as me, Lucy, you'll know that there are three types of sex... One - brand-new, kitchen-table sex. Two - bedroom sex. Then number three - hallway sex, when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'Fuck you.'" - Lockie
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Believe me, having a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban.
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living with a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban a mum is not allowed to laugh, sing, dance or wear short skirts
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Basically it's just a whole bunch of blokes standing around scratching themselves
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If God hadn't meant us to hunt men, he wouldn't have given us Wonder Bras.
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Love is like a tide. When it's in, everything looks beautiful and inviting. Only when love recedes can you see the debris beneath the surface - the old bottles, the rusty prams, the sewage pipes, the bloated cats and dogs weighted down to drown. The man I had once loved so passionately I now saw as weak, gutted like a fish.
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If he wants breakfast in bed, tell him to sleep in the kitchen.
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Age to women is what kryptonite is to Superman. Inside every older woman is a younger woman screaming, 'Get me the hell outta here.'
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Every woman wants to be wanted - just not by the entire Metropolitan police force.
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. . . planning a brilliant menu and preparing it beautifully doesn't guarantee a recipe for success.
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Good art is in the wallet of the beholder.
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I am allergic to domestic goddesses. Men would prefer a woman with a dirty mind to a clean house.
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Home is where the heartache is.
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In Hollywood a romantic man is one who talks to you after sex.
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dealing with loss and heartache doesn't make you stronger. It only makes people think you are.
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Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract.
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Well if manners maketh man make-up maketh woman.And we don't need a phalanx of behavioural scientists to explain why man judge women by their looks.Because the see bether than thay think.
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All men are into bondage, 'specially if they're real assholes at work all day.
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Any woman who calls herself a post-feminist should keep her Wonderbra and burn her brains.
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As a breastfeeding mother you are basically just meals on heels.
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I knew absolutely nothing about bondage. I'd always presumed it was just an inventive way of keeping your partner from going home.
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Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.
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My sisters and I miss our dad dreadfully. But grief, of course, is the price of love.
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Teenagers are obviously God's punishment for having sex in the first place.
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The truth is, my experience in matters sexual is limited.
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What creates a writer is huge, psychological dysfunction.
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Why can't women tell jokes? Because we marry them!
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Women want to be treated as equals, not sequels.