Jon Heder quotes:

I loved my childhood. They had the coolest toys back then. Star Wars, Transformers, laser-tag gun sets. Toy companies have really gone downhill.

I love movin'. I was observant growing up, watching Michael Jackson and John Travolta. I'd close my eyes, see the moves.

I just did an ad with Microsoft. I'm dressed as Napoleon, and I get to slap Bill Gates.

I don't even have any good skills. You know like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!

When I was young, I told my sister that she had chunky thighs. She slapped me and I cried. She feels bad about it to this day, but I feel worse.

Build a rocket ship and leave the earth!

That's what protagonists do. They work hard, they have a conflict, they overcome the obstacles.

Skaters are very much like peacocks.

Marriage is all about knowing the ins and outs and the intimate details, and your wife is supposed to be the person you know best. But my brother and I think alike, know everything about one another, and when we get together, we block everything else out. Nothing exists in our world except for us.

What we did in our childhoods makes us who we are now.

I've always liked Kate Winslet. She's pretty, smart, and talented.

I never read a self-help book except for the Bible.

I know at some point I would like to take on more dramatic roles.

Just tell them that their wildest dreams will come true if they vote for you.

I don't think I ever will do a sex scene because of my religion and my personal standards.

Just as long as something is gained, a lesson is learned. I do like those. The more quiet victories are always great.

I want to get up there and tell entertaining stories but that are also to a certain extent clean.

I don't have a lot of experience to draw from. I had my first kiss when I was 17 or 18. The second time we kissed I got a little excited and I was wearing these really loose shorts that didn't leave much to the imagination. I tried to angle my body away and divert her eyes by saying, "Hey, look at the stars." From then on I wore tighter jeans.

I don't know if this is advice, but I remember this guy in high school who came off like he'd been with a lot of women. He said, "Dude, what girls sometimes like is the unexpected." There were these girls who were always giving him tittie twisters, and he kept warning them, "I'm going to do it back." I'm thinking, There's no way. But sure enough, one girl crossed the line and he did.

Girls kind of get crazy when they have guns. These girls had never done it, and all they wanted to do was inflict as much pain as they could. We had one rule: Don't shoot us between the legs. But their aim didn't necessarily follow that rule.

I'm not that into reading. If I'm gonna read, I'm gonna read some cool sci-fi book or something, not some stupid self-help book.

I'm not going chic, I swear. The geek endures. But, I mean, a snazzy cool suit looks good.

I relate to most of the characters I play, because I do feel like an outsider.

I think so much of the look, obviously including wardrobe, but the hair is a huge thing because it's basically the frame for your eyes and that's the window to your soul is what they say.

I always love messing with my own hair as much as I can; I don't normally like to wear wigs.