Joey Adams quotes:
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Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'
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A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
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Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
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Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
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Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.
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If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
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The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win.
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People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.
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Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.