Howard Tayler quotes:

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  • Maxim 6: If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

  • Maxim 10: Sometimes the only way out is through... through the hull.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

  • Maxim 3: An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

  • Maxim 31: Only cheaters prosper.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

  • Maxim 12: A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

  • Maxim 27: Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

  • Maxim 37: There is no "overkill". There is only "open fire" and "time to reload".-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

  • Maxim 30: A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

  • We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.Cross it? I'm making plans to destroy the bridge from orbit.-Colonel Ceeta & Captain Tagon

  • Maxim 20: If you're not willing to shell your own position, you're not willing to win. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

  • When the messenger arrives and says 'Don't shoot the messenger,' it's a good idea to be prepared to shoot the messenger, just in case.

  • Hi. I'm here to enlist.You can't. You aren't human.You see, little fella, we don't do sociological stuff like "interspeciated workplaces." We're a crack company of space mercenaries. We do "hurting people" and "breaking things."Sounds like my kind of fun.-Schlock & Lieutenant Der Trihs

  • Right now I've got just two rules to live by. Rule one: don't taunt elephants. Rule two: don't stand next to anybody who taunts elephants. -Sergeant Schlock

  • Spy' is such a short ugly word. I prefer 'espionage.' Those extra three syllables really say something.

  • Only cheaters prosper.

  • As long as we only have to lie to the enemy, it's honest enough for me.-Captain Tagon

  • AAAAIIIE!You're the guy with the things, and the thing that does that thing, and then you did that one thing!Oh, and I think there's something about other things, and maybe you fix things?-Sergeant Schlock

  • Captain, you have heard the charges. How do you plead? Before you answer, you should know that if you plead "guilty" you'll be immediately extradited and U.N.S. law will take over.""Not guilty.""Also, it's not very nice to lie in court.""But it beats extradition.

  • Judging by the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that.

  • When the enemy of my enemy is willing to use plasma weapons inside a hotel, I think I can do better than stupid aphorisms, General.-Captain Kevyn Andreyasn

  • New orders: Make sure everybody who doesn't want to live here is aboard in five minutes. We are leaving.-Captain Kevyn Andreyasn

  • No! Wait! I've got a better idea...""Your ideas tend to result in unnecessary violence, Sergeant Schlock.""And your point is...""Let's broaden the definition of 'necessary'.

  • So you're a fellow mercenary, then.""Does this mean you'll afford me some professional courtesy?""Don't ask for that. All it means is that you might get to face the person who kills you. . . But only if it's convenient.

  • What do you think? Overkill?""I don't believe there is any such thing.But in this case, 'yes, overkill.

  • When I find the guy who torched that forest, I'm going to eat him. And I'm only going to half-cook him first.-Sergeant Schlock

  • Now, let's hear some properly terrified screaming, puny humans!

  • Being a mercenary, though... Hey, we just go wherever there's a mixture of money and trouble, and everyone in the galaxy is a potential customer.Even the people you're paid to shoot at?Well, yeah. There are customers we serve, and customers we service.-Captain Kevyn Andreyasn & General Tagon

  • The spirit of the law is the least of the things we're prepared to violate.

  • Are you guys really arguing over where to eat dinner?""It's one of the more savage tools in the diplomatic arsenal.

  • Some survived due to advancements in engineering. Personally I'd take a vaccine over living in an iron lung. http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/01/what-america-looked-like-polio-children-paralyzed-in-iron-lungs/251098/

  • The size of the promised paycheck is inversely proportional to the likelihood of surviving to collect it.

  • Where's your sense of adventure? It died under mysterious circumstances. My sense of self-preservation found the body, but assures me it has an airtight alibi. -Captain Tagon & Captain Andreyasn

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