Faina Ranevskaya quotes:

Old age is the time when birthday candles cost more than the birthday cake itself, and half of your urine is wasted on medical testing.

Lesbians, homosexuals, masochism, sadism are not perversions. Actually, there are only two perversions: hockey on grass and ballet on ice.

Aging is tedious, but it is the only way to live long.

Health is when it hurts in a new place every day.

Optimism is lack of information.

Family can replace everything. So, before starting a family, one should think what's more important: family or everything.

I had enough brain to live a stupid life.

Women are, of course, more intelligent. Have you ever heard of a woman that would lose her head only because a man has pretty legs?

When you get married, you'll understand what happiness is. But then it will be too late.

Women critics are amazons in climax.

Spelling mistakes in a letter is like a bug on a white shirt.

It's not a face, but a personal insult.

Beauty is a horrible power.

Old age is when you are not bothered with bad dreams, but with bad reality.

A real man is one who remembers the lady's birthday, but never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers her birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, - is her husband.

Like all people in love, I was obnoxious and stupid, threatened suicide...And the one I was supposed to make worry only giggled.

It is a shame to confess but among all living creatures only man doesn't know what is useful for him.

God created women beautiful - so that men can love them - and stupid - so that they can love men.

All my life I've swam in the loo butterfly style.

Success is the only unforgivable sin against your neighbor.

If a patient wants to live, doctors are impotent.

I've been smart enough to have lived my life stupidly.

On should life his life in such a way that even bastards remember him.

You cannot cure sclerosis, but you can forget it.

My fortune is in the fact that I don't need it.

If a woman walks with her head down - she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head proudly up - she has a lover! If a woman carries her head straight - she has a lover! And actually, if a woman has a head, she has a lover!

A fairytale is when you marry a frog and it turns out to be a princess. Reality is vice versa.

It has always been incomprehensible for me: people are ashamed of the poverty but aren't ashamed of the wealth.