Ethel Merman quotes:

I was born in my parents' bedroom on January 16. The World Almanac says it was 1909. I say it was 1912. But what difference does it make as long as I feel 33?

My career at Warner Brothers consisted of one musical short subject. I was running around in a bear skin. Very chic.

I was lucky enough to have the songs in my first show written by George and Ira Gershwin. Then Cole Porter wrote five shows for me.

I was lucky enough to have the songs in my first show written by George and Ira Gershwin. Then Cole Porter wrote five shows for me

I've never cooked. I can't do much more in the kitchen than make a cup of tea and some toast.

At a flea market I always head for the junk jewelry table first.

At one time I smoked, but in 1959 I couldn't think of anything else to give up for Lent so I stopped - and I haven't had a cigarette since.

Cole Porter wrote Anything Goes and four more hits for me.

Christmas carols always brought tears to my eyes. I also cry at weddings. I should have cried at a couple of my own.

Eisenhower was my war hero and the President I admire and respect most.

I wasn't straining at the bit to become a movie star any more than I had plotted to get out of vaudeville and into Broadway musicals

Everything's coming up roses - for me.

Cole Porter had a worldwide reputation as a sophisticate and hedonist

I mentioned that I was thinking of getting out of the business after Call Me Madam. I thought maybe I should become a homebody.

I'll pat myself on the back and admit I have talent. Beyond that, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

When you are in deep conflict about something, sometimes the most trivial thing can tip the scales.

I wouldn't change one thing about my professional life, and I make it a point not to dwell on my mistakes.

Eisenhower was my war hero and the President I admire and respect most

I can never remember being afraid of an audience. If the audience could do better, they'd be up here on stage and I'd be out there watching them.

I've never suffered stage fright. That fascinates people.

I wasn't straining at the bit to become a movie star any more than I had plotted to get out of vaudeville and into Broadway musicals.

Broadway has been very good to me. But then, I've been very good to broadway.

My beloved Mom and Pop always rated tops with each other, and that's the way it will always be.

As far as dramas are concerned, it's considered passe for playwrights to turn out anything the average person can understand.

As far as dramas are concerned, it's considered passe for playwrights to turn out anything the average person can understand

I don't like to read. The only things I read are gossip columns. If someone gives me a book, it had better have lots of pictures

Mom claimed that I could carry a tune at 2 or 3 years of age. Maybe she was a little prejudiced.

I've made a wonderful living playing that theatrical character - the professional brassy dame.

I've made a wonderful living playing that theatrical character - the professional brassy dame

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice.

Cole Porter had a worldwide reputation as a sophisticate and hedonist.

I have plenty of invitations to go places, lots to do. If I'm not working, I go to have my hair taken care of and work at needlepoint.

I am known to be able to take care of myself when I become angry. I don't mince words.

I don't like to read. The only things I read are gossip columns. If someone gives me a book, it had better have lots of pictures.

You gotta have a gimmick.

I work as often as I want and yet I'm free as a bird.

Who's happy these days?

When I'm asked how to succeed in show business, I always say I haven't the foggiest.

I'll admit - I was honored to be on the cover of Time.

Of my four marriages, the one to Bob Levitt is the only one I don't regret.

In my case, things have pretty much been handed to me.

Any audience that gets a laugh out of me gets it while I'm facing them

There's such a thing as theater discipline. One player doesn't appropriate another's inventions

I can hold a note as long as the Chase National Bank.

I wouldn't change one thing about my professional life, and I make it a point not to dwell on my mistakes

I take a breath when I have to.

Now what kind of an attitude is that, 'These things happen?' They only happen because this whole country is just full of people who, when these things happen, they just say, 'These things happen,' and that's why they happen! We gotta have control of what happens to us.

I remember Tallulah (Bankhead) telling of going into a public ladies' room and discovering there was no toilet tissue. She looked underneath the booth and said to the lady in the next stall, 'I beg your pardon, do you happen to have any toilet tissue in there?' The lady said no. So Tallulah said, 'Well, then, dahling, do you have two fives for a ten?'

My father taught me to read music and play the piano-but not well, even though people have said that I'm a natural musician

You'll never prove you're too good for a job by not doing your best.

In my case, things have pretty much been handed to me

Music, in the past few years... anything singable or understandable is square.

Legend has it that when God created me, he gave me a big distinctive voice, a lot of boldness and no heart.

Mom and Pop were proud of my popularity, but from their point of view, show business was no way to make a living.

I attend surprisingly few shows. The type of theater that is popular today just doesn't appeal to me.

Cole Porter wrote Anything Goes and four more hits for me

There have been people who have tried to take advantage of me. They want to be linked to me just because I'm Ethel Merman.

Be yourself -- it's the one thing you can do better than anyone else.

My beloved Mom and Pop always rated tops with each other, and that's the way it will always be

I work as often as I want and yet I'm free as a bird

Once I had all the attention, all I had to do was deliver

The slapdash way producers used to assemble a show seems a little unbelievable when we talk about them now

I'll pat myself on the back and admit I have talent. Beyond that, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time

I have plenty of invitations to go places, lots to do. If I'm not working, I go to have my hair taken care of and work at needlepoint

I wouldn't trust any man as far as you can throw a piano

When I'm asked how to succeed in show business, I always say I haven't the foggiest

[Cole Porter] sang like a hinge.

Of my four marriages, the one to Bob Levitt is the only one I don't regret

If I feel in need of sleep, I just open a book or turn on the television. Both are better than any sleeping pill.

I'll admit - I was honored to be on the cover of Time

I preferred delivering my performance in person. I liked to be in control. You couldn't be in films.

I have been ambitious to be a somebody from the time I was 5 years old