Donald Glover quotes:

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  • When you think of the former high school football star, you think 6-foot-2, white, meathead as the model for that kind of character. Since I'm not 6-foot-2 or white, I just thought about what I could bring to it. I thought about Smash Williams from 'Friday Night Lights,' like the cocky quarterback, and played around with that.

  • Writing is a very strenuous thing - it's like banging your head against a wall. At the end of the day, acting is better, just because nobody ever asked me if I wanted a Pellegrino in the writer's room.

  • If you're on Twitter, what you're saying is, 'I'm important enough for you to care what I think.'

  • I have an obsession with books about kids with Asperger's syndrome.

  • I lost my virginity junior year of college, I was 21... I was awkward, and I was raised Jehovah's Witness so I thought sex was bad, I thought I was going to go to hell, and get AIDS immediately.

  • Bright lights, they tend to burn out fast. So I shine bright, but I'm scared that it won't last.

  • I started doing '30 Rock' and started writing 'Mystery Team' at the beginning of that. While I was doing 'Mystery Team,' I started practicing stand-up. While I was doing stand up, I got 'Community.' It's like I planted trees six years ago, and now they have fruit.

  • May your dreams be sweet and your nightmares be spooky-monster-scary and not grandma-died-scary.

  • Taking a call girl to an STD fair... there's a joke here.

  • My swag is always capital and live in north Virginia.

  • Revenge is for the weak so I have settled my vendettas with all of the kids who made my early life a living hell.

  • Yes I'm grown and sexy, and I'm worth the wait. Girls act like I'm the only dude on earth to date.

  • I'm probably going to get in trouble for this but 'American Dad' is one of my favourite shows. It gets very dark in places but the jokes are there.

  • Black men struggle with masculinity so much. The idea that we must always be strong really presses us all down - it keeps us from growing.

  • I call 'Community' the best day job in the world, because between takes, I get to write music. I get to write sketches. I get to write movies. It's the best job ever.

  • The thing about stand-up was, I was doing all this sketch and YouTube stuff where I was not being censored and I got to do my own thing, and it was really cool.

  • I'm very impatient, so I was like, 'I want to be able to do whatever I want now.' But even the biggest stars - you look back and they weren't overnight.

  • I personally don't believe people really grow. They just learn stuff when they were a kid, and hold on to it, and that affects every relationship they have.

  • When anybody pays you to be creative, you're very lucky.

  • Girls who used to tell me I ain't cool enough now text me pics saying you can tear this up!

  • To all my fans who's saying Donald Glover about to blow, just give me six months so you can say I told you so.

  • A lot of the rap shows I saw as a kid were boring, but if you went to a Rage show or a Justice show, the kids were losing their minds.

  • You used to have to beg and be the busboy to do standup. I got on Community because people saw my videos on YouTube, which were free.

  • I think it's a comedian's job to make everything funny. Nothing is off-limits.

  • Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you doing you.

  • L.A. is such a different place. I miss New York so much. I almost teared up when I came back and wanted a Guinness and realized I could drink it and take a cab home. I remembered that I could be a functional alcoholic in New York, like I used to be!

  • I am what I am, everything I wanna be

  • We put stereotypes on ourselves. Everybody does that. But I think it's just a little harder for black kids to just be who they are.

  • We lay out our lives in a narrative we understand, like a movie, but are you enjoying making it or are you wondering who's watching my movie.

  • I'd much rather have AIDS than a baby... They're not that different at all. They're both expensive, you have them for the rest of your life, they're constant reminders of the mistakes you've made and once you have them, you pretty much can only date other people who have them.

  • If it makes you nervous- you're doing it right.

  • Suicide is kinda dumb to me. If I wanna kill myself I will. It's not hard to die, I could do it like right now. But why is everybody pretending like everything's ok, Everything's not ok. We are more connected than we've ever been, But I feel more alone than I've ever been.

  • You have to be real with yourself. No one is doing that. People are too concerned with making everything look nice and calm and pretty.

  • I felt like high school for me was like a big whirlpool of me trying to figure out what was OK for me to do.

  • You're always allowed to be better.

  • We had a teacher, named Mr. Brown, and he was writing something on the board once - he was writing something on the board, and he farted. And you would have thought kids had seen the face of God. Kids weren't even laughing; they were just sitting there screaming, just screaming. Kids had to get carted out; kids were screaming. Kids had to get carted out, and they were going to the nurses' office. Kids are crying in the hallway. 'Oh, this is our 9/11.' And it was. It was their 9/11 'cause they never thought anything like that could ever happen.

  • I would never challenge any rapper to a rap-off. It's weird, I'm not that type of rapper.

  • We're afraid to move on, that's why there's so much nostalgia on the internet... 'cause we don't wanna look forward, that's scary.

  • When you get called the n-word, as a black person you can do anything. It's like getting a gold star in Super Mario Brothers and junk. I hear the music when I hear the n-word. I get right into it; I get really into it. You can do anything. You could be in a fancy restaurant - just start throwing poop at the walls. People be like, 'What are you doing?' 'Someone called him the n-word.

  • It seems the more I try to connect with the world, I am feeling more alone than I ever have felt before

  • Kept looking for something to be in with. Follow someone's blueprint. But you have to be on your own.

  • I think that's what makes a good rapper. Somebody who wants to push themselves and their audience further.

  • If you like strange, specific stuff - that's a nerd. Kanye West is a black nerd. He likes strange, specific stuff. If you go up to Kanye West and say, 'Hey, what are your favorite things?' He'll be like, 'Robots and teddy bears.' That's a nerd.

  • The worst is feeling worthless.

  • I try to be me to the utmost.

  • They say my public persona don't have enough appeal, I take a lesson from Kanye and give 'em something real.

  • People are sometimes like: "Oh man, you're so talented and you do a bunch of stuff." I'm not! I swear to god, I'm not. I just like learning stuff, I like doing stuff. And I feel like everybody can definitely do it.

  • I come around when you least expect me! I'm sitting at the bar when your glass is empty!

  • I refuse to go back to not liking who I was.

  • One thing my dad once said to me, "You either want to be right, or you want to be happy. To be happy, there's gotta be a conversation."

  • Dress like a gentleman, but my mouth is never civilized.

  • I feel like guys don't think it's cool to use emojis. I'm like, that's so whack. Emojis help so much. They really do give context to something.

  • Most people think I'm Danny Glover's son when they meet me. So when they ask, I say 'No, I'm Crispin Glover's son.' Then we stare at each other for a long time.

  • When I wanna be a superhero I just wake up.

  • I don't talk soft, that's that other dude.

  • If you're on Twitter, what you're saying is, 'I'm important enough for you to care what I think.

  • Girls are supposed to dance. That's why God gave them parts that jiggle.

  • I think the best music videos are the ones that have nothing to do with the song. Those are all my favorites.

  • Black culture is a fight. We want to hold on to what we are, but sometimes the things that we are can be totally negative. You have to think: can't we try something new and not be seen as suspect?

  • I like horror films and romance films. Films where you're going in being like, 'I'm coming here to be scared or to fall in love.' You have a goal.

  • Took the G out yo waffle, all you got left is your ego.

  • Careers very rarely are a waste of time; jobs usually are.

  • I'm trying hard not to use a specific reference, but you'll probably know it's you after the first sentence.

  • The only reason I'm able to do music is because I'm making money on 'Community.' If I wasn't, I couldn't pay for things.

  • The emotional aspects of a wilderness experience might be compared to a religious experience. It is particularly valuable for those people whose unconscious associations of pain and discomfort in relationships to man render a deity in human form impossible. Christianity is unacceptable to some people because of the use of the human symbol, but some who can't accept Christ can gain a tremendous sense of peace from relating to uncontaminated areas.

  • I hope in general that my music allows somebody to follow what they really like doing.

  • I feel like there's a lot of rappers that could out-rap me and I wouldn't want to face any of them.

  • Also, I realized a lot of kids are listening to me. Whether I want to be or not, they're looking up to me.

  • But I just think I was lucky enough to figure out early on that I wanted to do comedy, so that's what I put all my effort into.

  • I feel like... I don't have a wife, I don't have a kids, but... I see rappers and I'm like, I know that's fake. I know how much you make, this is all bullshit. But people are buying into it, and you shouldn't have that power. I'm legit trying to make honest moves so that all of us can grow. I want to make a show where my sister can work on and become a producer because she can't get in, no one's leting her. I want to make things where people can actually grow. A place where people can actually be honest.

  • Usually, if I think something is really funny, I'm not gonna test it. I'll just test it when I'm onstage.

  • Twitter does have an effect on everything - things you put out there, they are out there for good.

  • I try and go to as many places as possible. It's really cool that I even get to see different places.

  • I hope a kid listens to my stuff, I hope there's a change made and at least somebody walks away with: "I'm doing this because I like it." People are going to hate it and that's okay, but I have to do it because my happiness is important too, it's worth it.

  • Rapper, just puts so much connotation on who you are and what is exposed. Even if a lot of it is out-dated, people still bring a lot to it.

  • I don't think I'm good, I don't think I'm a good rapper. I think a lot of people always want me to battle somebody and stuff like that which is cool, but I don't see myself as a rapper.

  • There are some rappers out there that I listen to, that I'm like: "You are really good but you could be like the Michael Jordan of rap if you applied yourself." There's a lot of people who are better at basketball than Michael Jordan, but Michael Jordan just wanted to be Michael Jordan, more.

  • I don't even think I'm that good at rapping, but I think what makes a great rapper - what CAN make a great rapper - is someone who wants to be better.

  • You started rapping when you wasn't good at basketball. I started rapping because I needed Adderall.

  • I'm a big PAX person... just because it's accessible. I feel like between the weed and the wax it's kind of like BetaMax and VHS. You can carry it around, people don't really know what it is, no smell.

  • I keep it wrapped until i meet the right one 'Cause I ain't Mumford, I ain't trying to have sons

  • Why does every girl in the world wanna date me? Especially right now man, especially when I'm busy!

  • You know who was on time tonight, which surprised me? Ghostface. Ghostface was early and making calls - what rapper does that?

  • What's the point of rap if you can't be yourself, huh?

  • I hope people come to the shows because they feel like there's something there that I can't necessarily articulate, but it's real and it's fun.

  • It makes me wonder what this rapping shits a hobby for, oh that's right, because I'm gifted in another field, and another field, and another field.

  • A lot of my sketches came from thoughts, and I always just wanted to act them out.

  • Don't add an eezy to my name, 'cause it has never been that'

  • If I'm a faggot spell it right, I got way more than two G's

  • Never kiss in public, but at home I am affectionate.

  • I hate it when you really think you're getting something good... and you don't listen to your dudes when you really should.

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