Danny DeVito quotes:

Jersey is always with me. I was one of the lucky ones. Asbury Park is just the greatest place in the world to spend your childhood.

It's just an ice bucket with a bottle in it. The two flute glasses are little tray. I got to shut the curtains. I'm in my boxer shorts and shirt. I'm going to take a bath and go to bed. But I want to shut the blinds so it's really dark in the room.

In this movie, you have all the things you love from Tim. All the magic and the whimsy and the surreal, but he also has a fantastic story of a father and son that really gets under your skin.

I've been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's a tower, and it's leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.

There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull: How do you hang on to someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?

You have to give people permission to laugh. That's why they would always cut to the banana peel in the Laurel and Hardy movies.

It's fun to be on the edge. I think you do your best work when you take chances, when you're not safe, when you're not in the middle of the road, at least for me, anyway.

Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.

The son has always felt like he was a footnote in one of the stories the father tells. The father is an amazing storyteller and one of the tales that he tells is how he met his wife.

I don't look ahead. I'm right here with you. It's a good way to be.

We did 'Erin Brockovich', we did 'Man on the Moon', we did 'Living Out Loud', but now I'm going to keep going.

I developed that for a long time. I also developed 'Sugar Sweet Science' at New Line and that didn't happen. That was a boxing movie. And between all that there were a couple of other things.

I didn't do it because of the underlying greed that's prevailing, but it is about greed, doing the right thing at the right time using your clout when you have it and what for and what reason.

I have been very fortunate in my life. I have had a lot of happiness. I have a great family and I work a lot, and that's what I like to do.

People come into your lives who you have a good time with, and time goes by and you still have a good time with them and you do stupid stuff with them. To me, that's life.

I'm always studying and I've been doing it for a long time now.

Wherever I am, it's a really good feeling to have that connection to people. I love to go out to talk to people and be with folks. I don't shy away from it.

We did 'Erin Brockovich,' we did 'Man on the Moon,' we did 'Living Out Loud,' but now I'm going to keep going.

I love going to all kinds of movies, I screen DVDs in my house, but I go to the theatre a lot in the afternoon. I don't get bugged because there aren't many people around.

My parents worked their tails off, but we weren't the poorest people in town. Some people I went to school with, you could tell they were dirt poor.

So, you pick this stuff here and this stuff there and then you see things in certain ways and you start visualizing and thank God I get the chance to do this. It's really the greatest thing in the whole wide world.

Most men somewhere in their psyche are still dragging women around by their hair. It's terrible. I have two daughters, but even before my kids were born I always thought that it was terrible.

So we see Edward as a young man on the road and he meets a giant and he brings the giant to a circus where he meets a Miss Calloway. He sees the woman of his dreams and I am the only one who knows who she is.

I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.

I'll watch Ricky Gervais in anything he does. The guy's hilarious.

I am self-centred. I just adore myself.

I lay on the ground, but then I can't reach - I don't want to take my foot out of the tub - but I've got to call somebody because I've got to get a band-aid or something to stop the bleeding.

What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark - things that I like to do.

After you've lived with somebody for 11 years, what's a guy in a robe reading from a book going to change?

I'll tell you one thing, it's a cruel, cruel world.

I'm shooting in Brooklyn, we've got all kinds of crap going on, and I'm all alone now in a big hotel suite that you can't believe the size of it and a thing sticks in my foot and I just think it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.

We don't even know if we're in this room. We could be in a turtle's dream in outer space.

A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful the way you lean.

When we get out of this, I'm gonna shove my fist right into your ass, hard and fast Not in the sexual way! In the 'I am pissed off' sort of way.

The choices we make, dictate the lives we lead.

Christmas is a good excuse to eat everything.

Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money.

A bad salesman will automatically drop his price. Bad salesmen make me sick.

I climbed like a billion stairs... its not like I can take them two at a time.

A lot of it revolves around food with me because a lot of my life does in a way.

It don't care whether I'm good enough. It don't care whether I snore or not. It don't care which God I pray to. There are only three things with that kind of unconditional acceptance: Dogs, donuts, and money.

In order for the light of gratitude and happiness to shine so brightly, the darkness of how it could be worse must be present.

What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start..

Even if one doesn't smoke pot, one has to see the benefits of decriminalizing it.

It's unfortunate that the entire country is a racist country.We're living in a country that discriminates, and has certain racist tendencies.

America's racist, so what do you expect.