Christopher Buckley quotes:

Who knew, in 2000, that 'compassionate conservatism' meant bigger government, unrestricted government spending, government intrusion in personal matters, government ineptitude, and cronyism in disaster relief? Who knew, in 2000, that the only bill the president would veto, six years later, would be one on funding stem-cell research? A more accurate term for Mr. Bush's political philosophy might be incontinent conservatism.

The best advice on writing I've ever received was from William Zinsser: 'Be grateful for every word you can cut.'

Nothing raises the national temperature more than a VACANCY sign hanging from the colonnaded front of the Supreme Court.

Christopher Hitchens is the greatest living essayist in the English language.

One realization does dawn upon the death of the second parent, namely that you've now moved into the green room to the River Styx. You're next.

The vice-president's tongue is several time zones ahead of his brain.

Who needs evidence when you've got the Internet?

Oil they would buy from anyone. From Satan.

How many times had those awful words - "I know what I'm doing" - been uttered throughout history as prelude to disaster?

Let's look at this rationally...We've got a doctor who may kill him, an Attorney General who wants to declare him bananas, and a Defense Secretary who wants me to start World War III...First, we ruled out starting World War III. We were down to killing the President or having him carted off by the men in white coats...

Reading any collection of a man's quotations is like eating the ingredients that go into a stew instead of cooking them together in the pot. You eat all the carrots, then all the potatoes, then the meat. You won't go away hungry, but it's not quite satisfying. Only a biography, or autobiography, gives you the hot meal.

E-mails are the new herpes: You never get rid of them.

That's the beauty of argument, if you argue correctly, you're never wrong.

I looked at Mum and realized -- twang! -- that she was telling an untruth. A big untruth. And I remember thinking in that instant how thrilling and grown-up it must be to say something so completely untrue, as opposed to the little amateur fibs I was already practiced at -- horrid little apprentice sinner that I was --like the ones about you'd already said your prayers or washed under the fingernails. Yes, I was impressed. I too must learn to say these gorgeous untruths. Imaginary kings and queens would be my houseguests when I was older.