Barbara Mertz quotes:

I am so tired of ruggedly handsome heroes. I don't know too many ruggedly handsome people who are necessarily nice people. In fact, the beautiful people have a big handicap because they rely too much on their appearance and don't bother to become interesting.

I disapprove of matrimony as a matter of principle.... Why should any independent, intelligent female choose to subject herself to the whims and tyrannies of a husband? I assure you, I have yet to meet a man as sensible as myself! (Amelia Peabody)

I've been reading ghost stories ever since I could read. I'm immensely curious about ghosts and UFOs and all that stuff, but I'm a very hard-headed person.

There was no warning, not even a knock. The door flew open, and he forgot his present aches and pains in anticipation of what lay in store. The figure that stood in the door was not that of an enemy. It was worse. It was his mother.

No woman really wants a man to carry her off; she only wants him to want to do it.

..he continues to cling to the forlorn hope that I will turn into one of those swooning females...and fling myself squeeling at him whenever anything happens. Like all men, he clings to his illusions.

Sometimes the characters develop almost without your knowing it. You find them doing things you hadn't planned on, and then I have to go back to page 42 and fix things. I'm not recommending it as a way to write. It's very sloppy, but it works for me.

I do not scruple to employ mendacity and a fictitious appearance of female incompetence when the occasion demands it.

It's not unsporting to thrash a cowardly cad,' said Simmons. 'Everyone knows you don't fight like a gentleman.' 'That might be called an oxymoron,' Ramses said. 'Oh--sorry. Bad form to use long words. Look it up when you get home.' The poor devil didn't know how to fight, like a gentleman or otherwise.

Spring is always cruel, with its false promise of resurrection ...

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be the respected patriarch of an ordinary English family." "Very boring, Emerson.

I do, however, think it would be difficult to write books I don't like to read.

I can do a book in three months if I spend all day, seven days a week at it and, in fact, I work better that way.

I have no writing habit. I work when I feel like it, and I work when I have to - mostly the latter.

Is is difficult to be angry with a gentleman who pays you compliments, even impertinent compliments. Especially impertinent compliments.

Most men are reasonably useful in a crisis. The difficulty lies in convincing them that the situation has reached a critical point

I would never have supposed that inexperienced girl was capable of such cold-blooded, calculating manipulation!

Your trousers are on fire. I would have told you, but you so dislike advice...

A man asking for help ought to at least give directions.

there is nothing like a garden to rest the soul.

Superstition has its practical uses.

...Nefret said with a gusty sigh, 'Well, that's done it. We may as well join in, Ramses, family arguments are the favorite form of amusement here and this looks like being a loud one.

When emotion supersedes reason ... gullibility must follow.

He hesitated for a moment. Then he said softly, "I love you, Mother." He took my hand and kissed it, and folded my fingers round the stem of the rose. He had stripped it of its thorns.

Peculiar or not, it is my idea of pleasure. Why, why else do you lead this life you don't enjoy it? Don't talk of duty to me; you men always have some high-sounding excuse for indulging yourselves. You go gallivanting over the earth, climbing mountains, looking for the sources of the Nile; and expect women to sit dully at home embroidering. I embroider very badly. I think I would excavate rather well.

Who are we really? Combinations of common chemicals that perform mechanical actions for a few years before crumbling back into the original components? Fresh new souls, drawn at random for some celestial cupboard where God keeps an unending supply?Or the same soul, immortal and eternal, refurbished and reused through endless lives, by that thrifty Housekeeper? In Her wisdom and benevolence She wipes off the memory slates, as part of the cleaning process, because if we could remember all the things we have experienced in earlier lives, we might object to risking it again.

Emerson,' I said, choosing my words with care, 'it is a sheer drop from the cleft down to the base of the cliff. If you are bent on breaking your arm or your leg or your neck or all three, find a place closer to home so we won't have to carry you such a distance.

Since I am not as stupid as my children believe I am, I had immediately realized this might be a ruse, but I was not at all averse to a confrontation. In fact, I had been hoping for some such thing.

I knew the answer, and--of course--so did Ramses. He has superb breath control and always gets in ahead of me.

The only people who are not in awe of Emerson's powerful voice and well-nigh superhuman strength are the members of his own family. He is aware of this, and often complains about it; so from time to time I like to put on a little show of being intimidated. 'Proceed, my dear,' I said apologetically.

Now, Mama, Papa, and sir," said Ramses, "please withdraw to the farthest corner and crouch down with your backs turned. It is as I feared; we will never break through by this method. The walls are eight feet thick. Fortunately I brought along a little nitroglycerin--" "Oh, good Gad," shrieked Inspector Cuff.

It is much more sensible to be an optimist instead of a pessimist, for if one is doomed to disappointment, why experience it in advance?

A lady cannot be blamed if a master criminal takes a fancy to her.

I never meant to marry. In my opinion, a woman born in the last half of the nineteenth century of the Christian era suffered from enough disadvantages without willfully embracing another.

When men start talking about 'honor', there is sure to be trouble ahead.

Noble causes have a deplorable effect on the morals of the persons who espouse them.

The opportunity to lecture had restored my good humor.

Dogs can be made to feel guilty about anything, including the sins of their owners. Cats refuse to take the blame for anything - including their own sins.

But the dust! And the clutter! My housewifely and scholarly instincts were equally offended.

love has a very dulling effect on the brain

Everything has happened before - not once, but over and over again. We may not be able to solve our problems through what are pompously called "the lessons of history," but at least we should be able to recognize the issues and perhaps avoid some of the solutions that have failed in the past. And we can take heart in our own dilemma by realizing that other people in other times have survived worse.

You are softening toward the young rascal because he is ill, and because he says he likes cats." "It is an engaging quality, Emerson." "That depends," said Emerson darkly, "on how he likes them.

Ramses had always been fond of Helen, in his peculiar fashion, but if he had looked at me as he was looking at her, I would have sent for a constable.

Marriage, in my view, should be a balanced stalemate between equal adversaries.

The cat Horus shot out from under the table and headed for the door, his ears flattened and his tail straight out. There he encountered Abdullah, who had been waiting for us on the verandah and who had, I supposed, been alarmed by Emerson's shouts and hurried to discover what disaster had prompted them. The cat got entangled in Abdullah's skirts and a brief interval of staggering (by Abdullah), scratching (by Horus) and swearing (by both parties) ensued before Horus freed himself and departed.

Sekhmet crawled onto Ramses's lap and began to purr. 'The creature oozes like a furry slug,' said Ramses, eyeing it without favor.

Nefret had always had an uncanny ability to read his thoughts. 'Did she cry?' she asked sweetly. 'And then you kissed her? You shouldn't have done that. I'm sure you meant well, but kissing someone out of pity is always a mistake.

Another dead body. Every year it is the same. Every year, another dead body...

I have learned that particularly clever ideas do not always stand up under close scrutiny.

The combination of physical strength and moral sincerity combined with tenderness of heart is exactly what is wanted in a husband.--Ameila Peabody

The way to get on with a cat is to treat it as an equal - or even better, as the superior it knows itself to be.

I would not be at all surprised to find that it was for gold that Cain committed the first murder. (It happened a very long time ago, and Holy Writ, though no doubt divinely inspired, is a trifle careless about details. God is not a historian).

Many persons lead lives of crushing boredom.

I don't think she realized how much she cared for him, or he for her, until the end. Hasn't someone said a woman may be known by the men who love her enough to die for her? (If they haven't, I claim the credit myself.)

The trouble with unknown enemies is that they are so difficult to identify.

I do hope you have some money. I'm getting tired of hitting people.

If all else fails, we will simply have to drug our attendants, overpower the guards, raise the oppressed peasants to arms, and take over the government.

I will tell you a little secret about archaeologists, dear Reader. They all pretend t be very high-minded. They claim that their sole aim in excavation is to uncover the mysteries of the past and add to the store of human knowledge. They lie. What they really want is a spectacular discovery, so they can get their names in the newspapers and inspire envy and hatred in the hearts of their rivals.

In the silence I heard Bastet, who had retreated under the bed, carrying on a mumbling, profane monologue. (If you ask how I knew it was profane, I presume you have never owned a cat.)

His masculinity was only too apparent

I had refused Emerson's well-meant offers of assistance, knowing his efforts would be confined to moving the furniture to the wrong places and demanding how much longer the process would take.

If you take a man by surprise, and behave with sufficient arrogance, he will generally do what you ask. -Emerson

There are too many people in the world as it is, but the supply of ancient manuscripts is severely limited.

When one is striding bravely into the future one cannot watch one's footing.

Humor is an excellent method of keeping a tight rein on unproductive displays of emotion.

Martyrdom is often the result of excessive gullibility.

It was hate at first sight, clean, pure and strong as grain alcohol.

Conventional history completely ignores half the human race.

kissing someone out of pity is always a mistake.

There is nothing sadder than the cheerful letters of the dead, expressing hopes that were never fulfilled, ambitions that were never achieved, dreams cut off before they could come to fruition.

stereotypes are awfully misleading. There are typical librarians, but not all librarians are typical.

Money was the manure of politics ...

Reputations are shaped not by facts but by prejudices.

If someone lies down and invites you to trample upon him, you are a remarkable individual if you decline the invitation.

Loving someone condemns you to a lifetime of fear. You become painfully conscious of how fragile people are - bundles of brittle bones and vulnerable flesh, breeding grounds for billions of deadly germs and horrible diseases.

A fondness for martyrdom, especially of the verbal variety, is common to the young.

Cats always pick the laps of the people who don't like them.

Husbands do not care to be contradicted. Indeed, I do not know anyone who does.

a church ought to express the joy of religion as well as its majesty.

Exaggeration is the cheapest form of humor.

Getting an idea for a book is not the problem, but you need 300 ideas - an idea a page.

That's maturity-when you realize that you've finally arrived at a state of ignorance as profound as your parents.

The only way to do it is to do it: by writing, writing, writing.

Giving other people advice is one of the most irritating and useless activities known to man.

To argue without knowledge is like trying to weave without thread.

Cats always made up to the people who hated them the most. Depending on how you chose to look at it, it was a touching manifestation of trust, or a malicious pleasure in human discomfort.

Nothing looks as self-satisfied as a contented cat.

The approval of a cat cannot but flatter the recipient.

Children, I feel, are as much entitled to privacy as human beings.

People who relate what they believe to be new and startling information like to have such information received with exclamations of astonishment and admiration.

It may take us a little longer to reach the summit, but never fear, we will get there!

It is easier to counterfeit old age than youth.