Arthur Baer quotes:

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.

Lefty Grove could throw a lamb chop past a wolf.

If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they print only your thumbs.

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.

She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.

It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope.

It is impossible to tell where the law stops and justice begins.

An empty cab drove up and Sarah Bernhardt got out.

Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.

Liquor - you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

She's generous to a fault - if it's her own.

If you demand money from someone in exchange for your silence, it's called 'blackmail'. If your lawyer demands money from someone in exchange for your silence, it's called a settlement. If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they print only your thumbs.

It was so quiet, you could hear a pun drop.

The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.

You can always judge a man by what he eats, and therefore a country in which there is no free lunch is no longer a free country.

[History is] petrified imagination.

His head was full of larceny, but his feet were honest.

About a veteran player thrown out trying to steal second: There was larceny in his heart, but his legs were honest.

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.