Alexandra Robbins quotes:

Adults tell students that it gets better, that the world changes after school, that being 'different' will pay off sometime after graduation. But no one explains to them why.

Gaming was "one of the only times when you only have to focus on one thing." But even more than that, "It's like an anchor. As long as I know it's there, it's part of me. It's some form of continuity that in my life I desperately need.

When I was in high school, I didn't feel like I had to pile on the APs in order to look good to colleges. High-achieving classmates didn't use private tutors.

In the black sororities, they celebrate achievement academically, and they really do work toward community service. As much as the white sororities claim that's the case in their groups, it's not really so. White sororities focus on relationships.

When Department of Health and Human Services administrators decided to base 30 percent of hospitals' Medicare reimbursement on patient satisfaction survey scores, they likely figured that transparency and accountability would improve healthcare.

Social standing does not necessarily translate to social acceptance.

I would hate to be in high school now. Psychologists talk about the 'imaginary audience' that teens seem to feel they have around them and that makes them think they have to keep up their image all the time. Now with Facebook and MySpace and 24/7 online access, that imaginary audience has become real.

If there is a single factor that spells out the difference between the cafeteria fringe headed for greatness and those doomed for low self-worth, even more than a caring teacher or a group of friends, it is supportive, accepting parents who not only love their children unconditionally, but also don't make them feel as if their idiosyncrasies qualify as conditions in the first place.

The cafeteria made him feel like an observer rather than a participant in the high school experience.

It's not about what you've done; it's how you've experienced whatever has happened to you. Matt Lawrence in The Overachievers

A Health Affairs study comparing patient-satisfaction scores with HCAHPS surveys of almost 100,000 nurses showed that a better nurse work environment was associated with higher scores on every patient-satisfaction survey question.

Many of the differences that cause students to be excluded in school are actually the same qualities or skills that other people are going to admire, respect or value about that person in adulthood.

You should wear what you want to wear and not worry about trying to paint yourself in a certain image because that self-awareness is what's going to help you become a more independent and more interesting and healthier adult.

Too many parents fail to understand that there is a difference between fitting in and being liked, that there is a difference between being normal and being happy. High school is temporary. Family is not.

J. K. Rowling has said that she was bullied in school. She was a daydreamer and had her nose in books all the time, much like some of her characters today.

My heart broke not only for the daughter who already was forced to become her mother's alarmingly narrow ideal, but also for the middle daughter who knew that her in mother's mind she had already failed.

Random, meaningless groups can adopt an us-versus-them mentality.

When healthcare is at its best, hospitals are four-star hotels, and nurses, personal butlers at the ready - at least, that's how many hospitals seem to interpret a government mandate.

I tend to focus on young people and on giving a voice to groups of people who don't normally get their voices heard.

Popular kids don't necessarily know who they are because they're so busy trying to conform. It's the outcasts who are more attuned to who they are. They're more self-aware, more real.

It is unacceptable that the system we rely on to develop children into well-adjusted, learned, cultured adults allows drones to dominate and increasingly devalues freethinkers.

Sometimes Eli believed his mother was embarrassed by him. I swear, my mom thinks if I do one thing differently than the average person, I'm weird, Eli said later. It's like she thinks I'm a freak or something. No matter what I do, it's not 'normal' enough for her.

Unshackled by strict yet arbitrary, misguided norms, outcasts can be, look, act, and associate however they want. And in this ever conformist, cookie-cutter, magazine-celebrity-worshipping, creativity-stifling society, the innovation, courage, and differences of the cafeteria fringe are vital to America's culture and progress. Which is why we must celebrate them.

I figure I'll win the fight in twenty years or so anyways when I end up with a decent life and their unemployed and living at home.

He didn't realize that simply by mingling among various lunch tables, he was befriending people in different crowds, weaving together the fringes of the cafeteria.

Group membership can modify individuals' perceptions of themselves. Unable to separate their personal introspection from the ways they believe other people perceive them, teenagers may have what psychologists call an "imaginary audience", meaning that they believed that other people are just as attuned to their appearance and behavior as they are.

How could he encapsulate in a pithy admissions-interview line all of his unique ideas and interests?

There is nothing wrong with you just because you haven't yet met people who share your interests or outlook on life. Unless you are doing something unhealthy or destructive, take pride in your beliefs, passions, and values. Know that you will eventually meet people who will appreciate you for being you.

It was the fact that they tried so hard that doomed them.

Imagine what it must be like for teenagers who don't feel they have room to breathe in their own homes. If you are a parent reading this book, you care about your child. If she is quirky, unusual, or nonconformist, ask yourself whether you are doing everything you can to nurture her unusual interests, style, or skills, or whether instead you are directly or subtly pushing her to hide them.

The aging aren't only the old; the aging are all of us.