Austin Powers Quotes in Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)

Austin Powers: Your spy car's a Mini?

Nigel Powers: It's not the size mate, it's how you use it.

Austin Powers: Nice to mole you... meet you. Nice to meet you, Mole.

[to Foxxy as Basil & The Mole leave]

Austin Powers: Don't say mole.

Foxxy Cleopatra: Now stop.

Austin Powers: I said mole.

Foxxy Cleopatra: Stop.

[Basil gestures him to hush]

Number Three: Bye.

Austin Powers: Mole.

[Basil & the Mole try again to leave]

Austin Powers: Mole.

[Basil warns him again to hush]

Austin Powers: Mole.

Basil Exposition: Oh, shut up!

Austin Powers: [Basil and The Mole walk out and Austin lets loose] Moley, moley, moley, moley, moley!

Fook Mi: [runs to Austin] Austin Powers! You're so great and so sexy!

Austin Powers: Thanks, baby! Now what's your name?

Fook Mi: Fook Mi!

Austin Powers: Can you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Fook Mi: No! Fook Mi! Like this!

[turns away so Austin can see Fook Mi written on her bag]

Austin Powers: Oh! Your name's Fook Mi!

Fook Mi: Would you like a drink?

[runs away to get drink]

Austin Powers: Actually I have a private bar...

[Fook Mi's twin sister, Fook Yu arrives]

Fook Yu: Here you go!

[gives him drink]

Austin Powers: [thinking she's Fook Mi] Fook Mi, that was fast!

Fook Yu: Fook Yu!

Goldmember: Would you like a shmoke und a pancake?

Austin Powers: A what?

Goldmember: A shmoke und a pancake. You know, a flapjack und a shigarette? No? Shigar und a waffle? No? Pipe und a crepe? No? Bong und a blintz? No? Well, then there ish no pleashing you.

Austin Powers: That's not right...

Austin Powers: You know, Dr. Evil, I have always thought you were crazy, but now I can see you're nuts.

[speaking to the camera]

Austin Powers: I thank you.

Austin Powers: Mr. Roboto is lying to us.

Foxxy Cleopatra: Tell me something I don't know.

Austin Powers: I open-mouth kissed a horse once.

Foxxy Cleopatra: Say what?

Austin Powers: That's something you don't know.

Fat Bastard: I've been tryin' to go legit.

Austin Powers: Of course...

Fat Bastard: But when you're an overweight child, in a society that demands perfection, your sense of right and wrong, fair and unfair will always be tragically skewed...

[farts]

Austin Powers: Did you just soil yourself?

Fat Bastard: Maybe.

[laughs]

Fat Bastard: It did sound a little wet, there didn't it? Right at the end! Oooh! Heh heh heh. Let's have a smell, all right? Oh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Hmmm, wafting, wafting. Ok, analysis. Ooh, smells like carrots in throw-up! Oh that could gag a maggot! It smells like hot sick ass in a dead carcass! Even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap!

Austin Powers: Mole. Bloody mole. We aren't supposed to talk about the bloody mole, but there's a bloody mole winking me in the face. I want to c-u-u-t it off, ch-o-o-p it off, and make guacamole.

Foxxy Cleopatra: You have the right to remain sexy, sugar.

Austin Powers: Oh, I hope there's a search involved.

Dr. Evil: Quid pro-quo, Mr. Powers.

Austin Powers: Yes, squid pro row.

Austin Powers: [after he causes the Britney Spears fembot to explode] Oops. I did it again, baby.

Austin Powers: [to Foxy Cleopatra] You may be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater.

Austin Powers: I am a sexy beast.

Austin Powers: What do you know about my father's where... about... s?

Steven Spielberg: So, Austin, what did you think of the opening credits?

Austin Powers: Well, I can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg, the grooviest film maker in the history of cinema, is making a movie about my life. Very Shagadelic, baby, yeah.

[laughs]

Austin Powers: Having said that, I do have some thoughts.

Steven Spielberg: [holding an Oscar] Really? Well, my friend here thinks it's fine the way it is.

Austin Powers: Well, no offense, Sir Stevie, but you gotta have mojo babe, yeah. Hit it.

Austin Powers: You're insane, Goldmember.

Goldmember: And that's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it

[mutters]

Goldmember: KC and the Sunshine Band.

Dr. Evil: Using my time machine I shall travel back to 1975, pick up Goldmember and bring him back to the future. And the best part of this plan is... no one can stop me. Not even... Austin Powers.

[All laugh maliciously]

Austin Powers: Not so fast. You're surrounded, Doctor Evil.

Dr. Evil: Shit

Nigel Powers: [rubs throat] Ow...

Austin Powers: What's wrong with your neck?

Nigel Powers: I took a Viagra, got stuck in me throat, I've had a stiff neck for hours.

Nigel Powers, Austin Powers: I thank you!

Austin Powers: [to a Japanese industrialist named Mr. Roboto] Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.

Austin Powers: Like I'd ever let Goldmember get away.

Foxxy Cleopatra: [entering shot] Austin? Goldmember's getting away.

Austin Powers: Smashing, Basil. A pimp-mobile.

Basil Exposition: Yes, yes. I knew it would tickle *your* fancy.

Austin Powers: What can I say?

[Grabs dice on rear-view mirror]

Austin Powers: Cough!

[pretends to cough]

Austin Powers: You really are a fat bastard!

Fat Bastard: You know, that hurts my feelings! I tried going on a diet, you know. The Zone, you know, "Carbs are the enemy," eh?

Fat Bastard: [extension from deleted scene] But the portions were so wee I ate the delivery man.

Fook Mi: Do we make you sleepy?

Austin Powers: Well, you make me many things but sleepy's not one of them.

Austin Powers: Twins, Basil. Twins.

[filling out a form]

Austin Powers: Name? Austin Danger Powers. Sex? Yes please!

Austin Powers: Allow myself to introduce... myself.

Austin Powers: That's Dr. Evil's cat!

Vanessa Kensington: How can you tell?

Austin Powers: I never forget a pussy... cat.

[returning Austin's personal property after reanimating him]

Quartermaster Clerk: One Swedish-made penis enlarger.

Austin Powers: [to Vanessa] That's not mine.

Quartermaster Clerk: One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by Austin Powers.

Austin Powers: I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine.

Quartermaster Clerk: One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers.

Austin Powers: I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.

Quartermaster Clerk: One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by Austin Powers.

Vanessa Kensington: Look, I know I'm being neurotic, but I can't shake off this suspicious feeling about that Italian secretary. You know, Miss Fagina. I don't want to sound paranoid, but I've had some bad relationships in the past, and I have been known to be jealous. I'm sorry.

Austin Powers: No, don't be sorry, baby. You're right to be suspicious. I shagged her.

Vanessa Kensington: What?

Austin Powers: I shagged her rotten, baby, yeah!

Vanessa Kensington: I don't believe you, Austin! I mean, she was repellant.

Austin Powers: Saucer of milk, table 2. Meow.

Vanessa Kensington: Well, did you use protection?

Austin Powers: Of course. I had my 9mm automatic.

Vanessa Kensington: You know I meant 'did you use a condom'?

Austin Powers: No. Only sailors use condoms, baby.

Vanessa Kensington: Not in the 90's, Austin.

Austin Powers: Well they should, those filthy beggars. They go from port to port.

Basil Exposition: Austin, the Cold War is over!

Austin Powers: Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Eh comrades? Eh?

Basil Exposition: Austin... we won.

Austin Powers: Oh, smashing, groovy, yay capitalism!

Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers, my job is to acclimatize you to the nineties. You know, a lot's changed since 1967.

Austin Powers: No doubt, love, but as long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I'll be sound as a pound!

Casino Dealer: 17.

Number Two: Hit me.

Casino Dealer: You have 17, sir.

Number Two: I like to live dangerously.

Casino Dealer: [Hit for four] :21. Very good, sir.

[to Austin]

Casino Dealer: :5.

Austin Powers: I'll stay.

Casino Dealer: I suggest you hit, sir.

Austin Powers: I also like to live dangerously.

Casino Dealer: 20 beat your 5 sir. I'm sorry, sir.

Austin Powers: Well I must admit, cards aren't my bag, baby.

Austin Powers: Only two things scare me and one of them is nuclear war.

Basil Exposition: What's the other?

Austin Powers: Excuse me?

Basil Exposition: What's the other thing that scares you?

Austin Powers: Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.

Cowboy: Whoo! That is one crazy get-up, mister... Are you in the show?

Austin Powers: No, actually, I'm English.

Cowboy: Oh... I'm sorry.

Austin Powers: Yeah, baby, yeah

Austin Powers: Actually, my name is Austin Powers. Danger is my middle name.

Austin Powers: My god, Vanessa's got a fabulous body... I bet she shags like a minx... How do I let them know because of the unfreezing process, I have no inner monologue? I hope I didn't just say that all out loud just now.

[Austin Powers is drowning a man in the toilet]

Austin Powers: Who does Number Two work for? Who does Number Two work for?

Cowboy: Yeah, that's it! You show that turd who's boss.

Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you.

Austin Powers: What's your point, Vanessa?

[Austin and Vanessa see a man decapitated]

Austin Powers: Not the time to lose one's head.

Vanessa Kensington: No.

Austin Powers: That's not the way to get ahead in life.

Vanessa Kensington: No.

Austin Powers: It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong.

Vanessa Kensington: Hmm.

Austin Powers: He'll never be the head of a major corporation.

Vanessa Kensington: Okay, that'll do.

Austin Powers: Okay.

Austin Powers: [holding Scott hostage] It seems the tables have turned again, Dr. Evil.

Dr. Evil: Not really. Kill the little bastard, see if I care.

Scott Evil: But dad, we just had a breakthrough in group.

Dr. Evil: I had the group LIQUIDATED, you little shit! They were insolent!

Austin Powers: Dr. Evil, do you really expect them to pay?

Dr. Evil: No, Mr. Powers. I expect them to die.

Austin Powers: Ooo, Behave!

Austin Powers: Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later? How do you like to do it? Do you like to wash up first? You know, top and tails... whore's bath? Personally, before I'm on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a 'how's your father'!

Austin Powers: She's the village bicycle! Everyone's had a ride.

Austin Powers: I won't bite... hard.

Basil Exposition: [after Austin punched Basil's mother and attempted to pull her hair out] You have a lot of explaining to do!

Austin Powers: I'm sorry, Basil. I thought she was a man.

Basil Exposition: Dammit, man! You're talking about my Mother!

Austin Powers: Well, you have to admit, she is rather man-ish.

Basil Exposition: [shocked] Austin!

Austin Powers: Well, no offense, but if that is a woman it does look like she was beaten with an ugly stick!

Vanessa Kensington: Always wanting to have fun, Austin. That's you in a nutshell!

Austin Powers: No, this is me in a nutshell.

[acts as if he were in a nutshell]

Austin Powers: Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this nutshell? Look at the size of this bloody great big nutshell! What sort of shell has a nut like this? This is crazy!

Austin Powers: [has just farted in Alotta's hot tub] Pardon me for being rude, it was not me it was my food, it just popped up to say hello, but now it's gone back down below.

Austin Powers: That really hurt! I'm gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman!

Austin Powers: Wait Vanessa, I can explain. You see, I was looking for Dr. Evil when the Fembots came out and smoke started coming out of their jomblies. So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding.

Austin Powers: Allow myself to introduce myself. My name is Richie Cunningham, and this is my wife, Oprah.

[Austin tries to resist to Fembots]

Austin Powers: [muttering] Baseball, cold showers, baseball, cold showers.

[One of the fembots stands over him and opens her legs]

Austin Powers: Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!

Austin Powers: Do I make you horny? Randy? Do I make you horny, baby, yeah, do I?

Alotta Fagina: How dare you break wind before me.

Austin Powers: I'm sorry I didn't realize it was your turn.

Austin Powers: Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich.

Alotta Fagina: Some sake, Mr. Cunningham?

Austin Powers: Sake it to me baby!

Austin Powers: Judo chop!

Austin Powers: Does that make you HORNY?

Austin Powers: WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

Basil Exposition: The shouting is a temporary side-effect of the unfreezing.

Austin Powers: Yes... I'm having difficulty controlling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE.

Austin Powers: That's fascinating, Vanessa. Listen, why don't we go in the back and shag?

Vanessa Kensington: What?

Austin Powers: I've been frozen for 30 years. I've gotta see if my bits and pieces are still working.

Vanessa Kensington: Excuse me?

Austin Powers: My Wedding tackle.

Vanessa Kensington: I'm sorry. Uh...

Austin Powers: My meat and two veg. My twig and berries. H-ello, lads, are you still awake?

Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers... Mr. Powers, please! I'd appreciate it if you could concentrate on our mission and give your libido a rest...

Austin Powers: I think you're shagedelic baby! You're switched on! You're smashing!

Austin Powers: What exactly do you do, Mr. Number Two?

Number Two: That's my business. Now if you'll excuse, I have to go to the little boys' room.

Austin Powers: Yeah, and I can't believe Liberace was gay. I mean, women loved him! I didn't see that one coming.

Austin Powers: Come again?

Alotta Fagina: Alotta Fagina

Austin Powers: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just not getting it, it sounds like you said your name was a lot of um... never mind!

Austin Powers: Why take the escalator when I have a perfectly good canoe right here?

Alotta Fagina: In Japan, men come first and women come second.

Austin Powers: Or sometimes not at all.

Austin Powers: I've been frozen for 30 years. I've got to see if my bits and pieces are still working.

Austin Powers: That ain't no woman! It's a man, man!

[last lines]

Austin Powers: What say, you, we go out on the town and swing, baby? Yeah!

Austin Powers: Au contraire baby, you can't resist me.

Austin Powers: No, you're right to be suspicious! I shagged her!

Vanessa Kensington: What?

Austin Powers: I shagged her rotten, baby, yeah!

Austin Powers: Smashing Baby! When this ship comes a' rockin', don't come a' knockin', baby!

Austin Powers: It's freedom, baby, yeah!

[Austin Powers sees a man sitting in the corner of the restroom]

Austin Powers: Excuse me, but you didn't happen to see...

[Austin looks at the man and sees that he is blind]

Austin Powers: ...anything at all.

Vanessa Kensington: What's your plan?

Austin Powers: [nervously] First, I plan to soil myself. Then I'm going to regroup and come up with a new plan. Any thoughts?

[entering the Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swingers' Club]

Austin Powers: This is my happening and it freaks me out!

[c.f. [link=tt0065466]]

Austin Powers: That's not your mother, it's a man, baby!

Austin Powers: Its time to swing, baby.

Austin Powers: Relax, Vanessa, don't have a thrombo.