Aunt Edna Quotes in National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)

Aunt Edna: I was afraid you'd get pulled over, Clark. You've been exeeding the speed limit for thousands of miles!

Rusty Griswold: Dad wasn't speeding. The cop stopped us because Dad forgot to...

Ellen Griswold: He was speeding, Rusty!

Rusty Griswold: No he wasn't, Mom. He...

Clark: Rusty! Listen to your mother. I was speeding. I was driving like a maniac. We can all be grateful for this man for stopping us. You see kids...

[the motorcycle cop appears at the car window with the dog leash]

Motorcycle Cop: Here's the leash, sir. I'm going back to get the rest of the carcass off the road.

Aunt Edna: Why don't you just ask him for the money, Eddie? He sure as Hell can't take a hint.

Cousin Eddie: Well, I didn't want to ask you, Clark, you know, but could you maybe spare a little extra cash?

Clark: Sure, Eddie, how much do you need?

Cousin Eddie: About $52,000.

Ellen Griswold: Stay in the car! It's hot and dangerous out here.

Aunt Edna: Don't you tell me what to do, I'll do what I want! I should never have come on this trip with you, I should have taken an airplane... and he...

[pointing to Clark]

Aunt Edna: He shouldn't even have a license to drive an automobile! He should be BEHIND BARS!

Ellen Griswold: SIT down and SHUT UP! Move outta that seat and I'll split your lip!

Ellen Griswold: I honestly don't think you're going to find the Grand Canyon on this road.

Clark: Jesus, it's only the biggest damn hole in the world.

Aunt Edna: Clark, watch your language!

Clark: Make that the second biggest.

Aunt Edna: You're the ones who sent me the fruitcake for Christmas. It made me so sick!

Ellen Griswold: Oh - we're sorry. We thought you enjoyed fruitcake.

Aunt Edna: Do you enjoy throwing up every five minutes Claude?

Clark: Clark.

Aunt Edna: I thought so. Whew! Well am I gonna eat, or am I gonna starve to death?

Aunt Edna: Is this your idea of a good restaurant? Dog killer!

Aunt Edna: Clark, Dinkums needs a long walk and a bath.

Clark: Rusty take care of Dinkums.

Rusty: Dad he bites.

Clark: Bite him back.

Aunt Edna: Did you tell Clark and Ellen the good news?

Catherine: [nervously] Uh, no; I was just about to.

Ellen Griswold: Good news, what good news, Catherine?

Aunt Edna: You're driving me to Phoenix!

[Clark begins choking on his hamburger]