Artie Cohen Quotes in The Calcium Kid (2004)

Sebastian Gore-Brown: Is there... is there a problem, Mr Cohen?

Artie Cohen: A problem? Well, my definition of a problem is a trivial annoyance easily overcome with quickness of thought. No, this is a situation.

Sebastian Gore-Brown: And... and and what exactly is-is your-your definition of a-a situation?

Artie Cohen: Two limey fuck filmmakers hanging from their skinny pricks over an eighth floor balcony, for shooting unauthorized footage of an Artie Cohen fighter. THIS! THIS IS MY DEFINITION OF A SITUATION!

Artie Cohen: The only relationships I have, Mr. Bush, are with my fighters and my wife; so, unless you can throw eleven jabs in three seconds or enjoy eating strawberries from between my toes, you stand little chance of qualifying as either.